Why I won

Despite a lack of campaigning on my part, I have won the most eligible Bachelorette poll at About Town.

Why did I win? Simple process of elimination.

People didn't want to vote Kate as she blogs there and a Kate victory would look like it had been won using diebold voting machines.

People didn't vote for Cathy because she intimidates too many of them. Those who liked the idea of being whipped and beaten voted for her though (God there are a lot of you). I should clarify that I am not suggesting that Cathy beats or people – just that any lefty who vote for her would be seeking that sort of dominant figure.

People didn't vote for Spanner as she is married.

And people didn't vote for Maria because as charming and chirpy as she is, the words “high maintenance” float around her like a halo.

So hence I won by default!