Marital Expectations
March 28th, 2006 at 10:08 am by David FarrarIt can be a sensible idea for a couple getting married to set out their expectations to each other. However prepare to be amazed at this list of “wifely expectations” set out by a Iowa man in a proposed contract with his wife. I summarize some below but you really should read the whole thing:
* She must shave every third day, with definitions of where to shave and even specifying a maximum 2″ x 1″ patch you know where with a maximum length also!
* At least half of shoe purchases must be high heels of greater than 2″ and panties must be thongs except during that time of month
* Must get naked within 20 minutes of the kids going to bed (now that one isn’t all bad 
* He has three hours a day of “my time” during which she must not argue, complain, cry, sob, whine or pout. She also must during this time be subservient, submissive, cheerful and adoring and oh yeah is not allowed to say no to swallowing or greek.
* Dressing up for parties or going out dictates skirts must be no lower than two inches below the knee, except (get this) when going to church!
* The duration of certain acts such as fellatio is defined
* Her birthday present every year is getting to select a sex toy for her!
My God reality is often stranger than fiction. I suspect when the jury get read out this contract they will not need to hear any other evidence relating to the case. I also suspect he didn’t show his wife the proposed contract *before* they got married!
Hat Tip: Silent Running
March 28th, 2006 at 11:43 am
I couldn’t help thinking of that Speights ad.
Vote:You know the one…
“She’s are hard road finding the perfect woman…”
He sure knows what he wants.
March 28th, 2006 at 2:29 pm
Hmm. Sounds like the sort of thing 24×7 power-exchange BDSM people would cook up. It wouldn’t surprise me if she DID read and sign it beforehand. In a world where people can fetishise grownups in nappies this doesn’t seem so unusual.
Vote:March 28th, 2006 at 3:57 pm
Yes, there was some discussion on Metafilter about it. There are plenty of S/M relationships based on just as restrictive contracts. Say what you like, at least the people are open about their expectations.
Vote:March 28th, 2006 at 4:24 pm
Actually Stephen from what I read about the case she did *not* agree to it before marriage and they are getting divorced because she refused to sign it.
I don’t have any problems with people having consensual D/s relationships but it does not seem she consented to this one. Especially given that the husband is now being charged for kidnapping her!
Vote:March 28th, 2006 at 5:13 pm
Dont know if its just me, but being over 60 none of these expectations apply to me and my wife,
Vote:Geez what do you young buggers get up to these days?, no wonder marriages dont last any more.
March 28th, 2006 at 5:39 pm
Any woman who actually has a relationship with such a man should agree to the contract and marry him forthwith.They clearly would deserve each other.
Vote:March 28th, 2006 at 5:50 pm
All sounds perfectly reasonable to me…:)
Vote:March 28th, 2006 at 7:35 pm
I wonder what was in the marriage contract of Mr and Mrs Peter Davis.
Vote:None of these things, I guess.
Perhaps if any of these things occurred, it was a breach of contract!!
March 28th, 2006 at 10:35 pm
Darren, you have a tiny mind, filled with little thoughts about nothing of consequence – you’ll do well around here.
Vote:March 30th, 2006 at 11:52 am
Aah, you forget to mention that she never signed the “contract” and that this sick fuck is up on charges of attempting to kidnap his wife (and apparently unrelated child pornography charges). She handed it to police (I am guessing) after the kidnap happened as proof of what a sicko he is. Doesn’t seem to be a BDSM element in this (though I haven’t bothered to read the whole “contract”), just a need to stamp his authority on his wife. Why she didn’t run a mile when he gave it her is beyond me. Even to joke about what a sicko this guy is is in poor taste given the context.
Vote: