Our younger children’s academic abilty was not rated, but we had good written commentary, which was highly appropriate, given their age.

We also found it very easy to get verbal feedback from teachers, informally as well as in the formal parent / teacher interviews (held twice a year).

So I suspect that DPF’s friend’s problem may have more to do with the particular school than the state system per se, although the preponderance of ‘poor reporting’ schools may be much higher in the state system.

Everyone wants the best for their children, but there seems to be a little confusion about the best strategy to adopt.

My uncle converted his MB BS to psychiartry when his children were teenagers. He terrorized my cousins by getting each of them alone and making an issue by saying “you don’t have to live up to my expectations”.

Private schools are known hothouses for academic performance. It is known that performance of private school graduates in a university degrades quite dramatically in comparison to public school students who performed equally well at graduation.

So lets ask you some questions.

First: What is your own ambition in life? Is it valid? Did you get it from your parents? How certain are you that it is the best goal that you could have chosen?

Second: do you want to lay on your children what you have determined are their best goals, and instil your expectations (i.e. their ambitions) which they would require to achieve that goal? How certain are you that you can choose right? How certain are you that they can achieve those ambitions? The self imposed penalty for failure of parental expectations is quite high.

Third: Just what are your expectations for your children anyhow? Shouldn’t they be that each child should think for itself? choose it’s own path in life? If you start by telling it what to do, aren’t you hindering the child? Won’t your child be learning the lesson that someone else should do it’s thinking?

A parent should be nurturing, but are you really qualified to determine whether social or academic or sporting achievement should be emphasized?

Your biggest problem is that you are teaching your children the lessons that you probably do not want them to learn. Plato wrote that there was a teacher for everything except character. Character was learned without a teacher, at home. Children probably learn to lie, to cheat, bad temper and most of the other cringworthy behaviours from their own parents.

Well I haven’t said much about state schools -v- private schools have I.

In my opinion, all state schools should be closed, and credits given to the parents.

In the meantime, public schools are probably better because they are not hothouses for academic performance. Children do not get taught that unless they are top, they are a failure.

Private schools are definitely wrong if the fees are onerous, it’s better not to lay that heavy Karma on a child.

Everyone wants the best for their children, but there seems to be a little confusion about the best strategy to adopt.

My uncle converted his MB BS to psychiartry when his children were teenagers. He terrorized my cousins by getting each of them alone and making an issue by saying “you don’t have to live up to my expectations”.

Private schools are known hothouses for academic performance. It is known that performance of private school graduates in a university degrades quite dramatically in comparison to public school students who performed equally well at graduation.

So lets ask you some questions.

First: What is your own ambition in life? Is it valid? Did you get it from your parents? How certain are you that it is the best goal that you could have chosen?

Second: do you want to lay on your children what you have determined are their best goals, and instil your expectations (i.e. their ambitions) which they would require to achieve that goal? How certain are you that you can choose right? How certain are you that they can achieve those ambitions? The self imposed penalty for failure of parental expectations is quite high.

Third: Just what are your expectations for your children anyhow? Shouldn’t they be that each child should think for itself? choose it’s own path in life? If you start by telling it what to do, aren’t you hindering the child? Won’t your child be learning the lesson that someone else should do it’s thinking?

A parent should be nurturing, but are you really qualified to determine whether social or academic or sporting achievement should be emphasized?

Your biggest problem is that you are teaching your children the lessons that you probably do not want them to learn. Plato wrote that there was a teacher for everything except character. Character was learned without a teacher, at home. Children probably learn to lie, to cheat, bad temper and most of the other cringworthy behaviours from their own parents.

Well I haven’t said much about state schools -v- private schools have I.

In my opinion, all state schools should be closed, and credits given to the parents.

In the meantime, public schools are probably better because they are not hothouses for academic performance. Children do not get taught that unless they are top, they are a failure.

Private schools are definitely wrong if the fees are onerous, it’s better not to lay that heavy Karma on a child.

I notice you say that your children are at a Christian school, not a Catholic one. I went through Catholic schools all the way, but it was a fair few years ago now, so I am sure the atmosphere has changed. Nevertheless, one of the ‘values’ taught at Catholic school is that woemn don’t have the right to decide about abortion. Necessarily, if Catholic schools teach Catholic doctrine, they must also teach that all other faiths are wrong.

It’s important not mix up two problems. You mention the slacker parents at the decile one school, but that’s exactly the point that I made, that ultimately, the responsibility for teaching values lies with parents.

The other problem is whether or not state schools teach values (c/f ‘spirituality’). I’m quite happy with what the state school my children go to is teaching my children – curiousity, an enquiring mind, and using reason and evidence. Personally, I don’t want them getting some half-baked set of rules based on someone’s ‘values’ – rules are all very well, but the complexity of life demands a capacity to think for yourself.

Having said that, I would be delighted if the school taught comparative religion. One of the nice things about realising that many peoples have devised many different religions is that you are much more likely to realise that they are all just human constructs. And once you realise that, you should also realise that you are required to make judgements about the values they teach, not just blindly accept them. All of which reinforces the importance of curiosity, and enquiring minds, and reason and evidence.

However, my children are at a highly regarded, and deservedly so, decile 10 school, where there is very active parent involvment in the school. So I do hear what you and other people are saying about problems in public schooling.

My mother a teacher at a Decile One school can bitterly talk for hours of the on-going lack of parental responsibility she has been witness to for years. What is depressing for her is having young PI and Maori parents, only a few years out of school themselves, who are passing on their slacker blame-someone-else mentality on to the next generation and we are going to have to live with it as taxpayers for yet another round.

One of the deep and delighful ironies of my son attending a Christian Private school, is that it is very multi-cultural and multi-religious. Religion and by extension, culture and ethnicity, is openly spoken about and my son has a very good working knowledge of Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism,Buddhism and Islam. At my son’s former State school speaking of religion, other than hallowed and indisputable Maori ‘spirituality’ was strictly verboten.
What had been rewarding for my son, has been seeing other religious faiths endorse ethics and values, long dismissed as old-fashioned and irrelevant in many State schools. In a quest to be ‘ culturally sensitive’ by doing away with comparitive religion, and by extension ethics and values, many children are missing out on knowledge of the wider world.

Says something about how parents are abrograting their responsibility to teach values and leaving it all up to schools.

I understand the both Primary Schools I went to are so popular that non-Catholics are registering new-born babies onto waiting lists, and still not getting in under the 25% quota as even Catholic children struggle to get enrolled.

Says something about how parents are choosing the traditional values over what is being taught at State Schools .

In a lot of cases it will do, as a lot of private schools (including the one I went to) have compulsory sport. But we all know that sport and exercise makes no contribution to physical well-being and it is all the fault of multinationals that people arent healthy.

In a lot of cases it will do, as a lot of private schools (including the one I went to) have compulsory sport. But we all know that sport and exercise makes no contribution to physical well-being and it is all the fault of multinationals that people arent healthy.

In a lot of cases it will do, as a lot of private schools (including the one I went to) have compulsory sport. But we all know that sport and exercise makes no contribution to physical well-being and it is all the fault of multinationals that people arent healthy.

In a lot of cases it will do, as a lot of private schools (including the one I went to) have compulsory sport. But we all know that sport and exercise makes no contribution to physical well-being and it is all the fault of multinationals that people arent healthy.

No doubt Red Devil is aghast at anyone making broad, stereotypical, statements about the Lefty Holy Trinity – gays, racial minorities and wimmin, plus any disputing Trade Unions, Beneficiaries, GE or climate change, is also seen as intolerant, ignorant bigots, who no doubt base their assumptions on Talkback radio and the womens’ magazines.

But making meaningless jibes against Private schools is a worthy and righteous crusade to purge the land of those refusenik rebels who will not conform to the will of the State.

Yes, I went to a Private School, and am aware of a small but visible element of bad behaviour from spoilt and invariably, nouveau riche, students and their equally repulsive parents. While their behaviour and attitudes are bloody annoying, I bet they hardly figure in crime, justice, health and social welfare stats. In other words as long they aren’t bothering me as a taxpayer and causing deliberate misery to others, then they have every right to carry on with their lives.

I had no ideological problem sending my kids to a State school, but we gave up after a few years and have sent them Private. Yes it means we take longer to pay off the mortgage, we have less for superannuation, we dont don’t have fancy overseas holidays etc. But the difference is just enormous – we get lots of feedback, are made fully aware of their academic and personal profiles, we appreciate the motivation and energy to strive, self-reliance and the non PC victimhood, we like the ethics and the open talk of comparitive religion – something which is just about verboten in the State system.

We are from a religious and ethnic minority and in my son’s class of 24 in 2006, only half were from the much derided WASP class, the ‘others’ ranged from Greek, Indian, Maori, Korean, Chinese, Jewish, Indonesian and German.
Many families speak of the struggle to pay the fees, many have second jobs or have extended their mortgage, a higher number than you imagine are from working class and/or Trade backgrounds but they are not going to be hoodwinked about Labour’s vision of mediocre education.

Re: NCEA: for maths and science it is fine, excellent in fact. For arts subjects I am doubtful it offers the benefits of Cambridge. IB is OK only if the child can perform strongly in languages, Cambridge is better overall I think.

Wealthy people live longer because they drink and smoke less and take up less hazardous pursuits and occupations.