A few good (sales) men
April 30th, 2007 at 2:08 pm by David FarrarI’ve stolen this from Rod Drury. It’s a great take-off of the Jack Nicholson speech in A Few Good Men.
Sales: “You want answers?”A few good men
Finance: “I think we are entitled to them!”
Sales: “You want answers?!”
Finance: “I want the truth!”
Sales: “You can’t handle the truth!!!”
Sales (continuing): “Son, we live in a world that requires revenue. And that revenue must be brought in by people with elite skills. Who’s going to find it? You? You, Mr. Operations? We have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom.
You scoff at sales division and you curse our lucrative incentives. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what we know: that while the cost of business results are excessive, it drives in revenue.
And my very existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, drives REVENUE! You don’t want to know the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at staff meetings … you want me on that call. You NEED me on that call!
We use words like comps, migration, discounts, flex licensing, global purchase agreements, butt-fusion. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent negotiating something. You use them as a punch line!
I have neither the time nor inclination to explain myself to people who rise and sleep under the very blanket of revenue I provide and then question the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said “thank you” and went on your way. Otherwise I suggest you pick up a phone and make some sales calls. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to!”
Finance: “Did you expense the lap dances?”
Sales: “I did the job I was hired to do.”
Finance: “Did you expense the lap dances?”
Sales: “You’re goddamn right I did!”
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April 30th, 2007 at 11:25 pm
Gold, pure gold.
Vote:May 1st, 2007 at 12:30 am
James Cairney, I thought that you would disappear from making post here at DPF and shut down your computer since you made it clear in discussion from the other thread that you wanted to cut down some kWatts of your power consumption in order to the whole country’s energy saving?
You must be a hypocrite.
Vote:May 1st, 2007 at 7:23 am
Jim – save those lines for the political threads and don’t start personal attacks.
Vote:May 1st, 2007 at 8:32 am
It’s going up in the sales office right now. Love it.
Vote:May 1st, 2007 at 10:52 am
The trouble is the very people this is aimed at are too dumb and too arrogant to understand it.
Vote:May 1st, 2007 at 11:53 am
I presume you are talking about the NZ economy other wise these comments are nonsensical to
Of course what is true to me is not necessary true to others and with that vice a verse what is true to David is definitely not true to me
Vote:May 1st, 2007 at 11:57 am
“Did you expense the lap dance.”
Priceless.
Vote:May 1st, 2007 at 12:20 pm
And at VW certain executives ears are burning…
Vote:May 1st, 2007 at 12:28 pm
On Capitol Hill right as we speak certain high profile people are worrying about more than just lapdancing.Cant wait to see if Ms Palfrey reveals all as the bishop said to the actress.
Vote:May 1st, 2007 at 6:43 pm
The video adds a bit more flavour, and is definitely worth the download:
http://www.lethys.com/macquarie/draft_a_few_good_expenses.wmv
(Thanks to Kim Pappas: You can’t handle the truth)
Vote:August 4th, 2007 at 3:04 pm
Take the RED PILL!
Vote: