The Dim Post
[This was posted as a comment, and has also been going around by e-mail. Worthy of a front page post]
Clark Lash’s Out at ‘Cannibal Bill’ Critics.
Monday November 26, 2007
Prime Minister Helen Clark has delivered a stinging attack on opponents of the Electoral Voter Consumption Bill. The controversial legislation that would allow Cabinet Members to kill and eat members of the public has been opposed by opposition parties and human rights organisations.
‘The critics of this bill are the usual hollow men that want big business and religious creeps to be able to buy and sell our democracy to the highest bidder,’ Clark announced at her post-cabinet press conference. ‘We intend to address the shocking corruption and anti-democratic practices showed by some groups and parties by devouring our enemies alive. This will act as a strong deterrent to future election buying attempts and it will also endow us with the strength and power of those we kill.’
The Labour Party introduced the legislation in response to a police investigation into the activities of senior Labour MP’s Trevor Mallard and Parekura Horomia. Both politicians have eaten numerous members of the public over recent months, but despite police raids on their offices and homes that uncovered human skeletons, frozen meat and rotting offal the police have refused to press charges, citing legal uncertainties and insisting that bringing charges would not be in the public interest.
‘The law around whether cabinet members can smash peoples skulls open and feast open the contents is unclear,’ Clark announced today. ‘All that this bill does is clarify the confusion surrounding this issue.’
National leader John Key has announced his attention to repeal the bill should National come to power in the next election. But in a rare display of disunity, former National Deputy leader Gerry Brownlee will be crossing the floor to vote in favour of the bill.
Mr Brownlee is currently under investigation by the police for his suspected involvement in the disappearance of political journalist Barry Soper.
The Dim-Post
November 27th, 2007 at 5:44 am
More please
November 27th, 2007 at 7:57 am
Absolutely. I was going to post that , but you beat me to it….
November 27th, 2007 at 8:21 am
Must one use a loudhailer to open an opponents skull? Or is a kitchen knive allowed?
November 27th, 2007 at 8:22 am
I kan speel?
November 27th, 2007 at 8:38 am
I thought it was rather lame. Sorry.
November 27th, 2007 at 9:08 am
It’s the teeth, the teeth!
How many has she eaten today?
November 27th, 2007 at 9:24 am
I noted Danyl posted this on Kiwiblog earlier. Was it his, or something he saw? It is quite funny and deserves to be properly attributed.
November 27th, 2007 at 9:38 am
Has DiM turned to the “Dark Side”?
November 27th, 2007 at 9:48 am
I see the national outrage party is next going to run a campaign against the road code, which requires vehicles to never exceed the speed limit without committing a crime, tape measures will be needed for parking since its a crime to park to close to a corner or exit.
Tyres will need to be checked every day for tread depth. All cars will need to be licensed or they are committing a crime. And they need a new license every year as well as six monthly checks Quelle horreur!!
There are rules about the amount of tinting of windscreens which will force law abiding citizens to be sunburnt.
The Noise abatement commision says the rules about vehicle exhausts are unenforcebale and will lead to court cases. Some say common sense will be used over what is excess noise but the national Outrage party says its the end of our freedoms as the Road rules party wants us all to catch public transport.
DPWTF a well known independent busybody has made it his lifes mission to break all speeding and road rules because … well he knows better what is safe and anyway how dare they interfer in my life
November 27th, 2007 at 9:52 am
I would guess that Danyl isn’t hampered by partisanship, and understands that the EFB is a flawed piece of legislation being rushed through parliament, and that is not the way to pass such laws.
One can only hope this sends a message to the die hard lefties that it might be worth a deep breath and a bit of rational thought.
Or alternatively, they could chant ‘Danyl’s joined the dark side – mark him an enemy of the state’. Maybe the Standard could do a set piece on how their ranks are full of traitorous curs. Although, given the supply of food stock is rapidly increasing with every defection, they may well be ambivalent.
November 27th, 2007 at 10:01 am
Just look at the rules for licensing of cars!
Must display front and rear number plates, or committing a crime!!
Must display current warrant of fitness , which must be renewed after a $40 checkup EVERY six months or you are committing a crime.
Must display a registration label which costs $180 per year or committing a crime.
Thats THREE different forms of ID for EVERY CAR ( 2.5 million of them)
Plus every driver must carry their own license which has a photo!!.
Four separate peices of permission from the state just to go to the shops or work!
How dare they restrict our freedoms
November 27th, 2007 at 11:15 am
Perhaps Danyl is that all too rare beast, a “moderate lefty”. It seems that almost all lefties who blog are the extremist hijacker types.
November 27th, 2007 at 12:02 pm
Oh Barry! Where have you gone…???
I wondered why Gerry was wearing Barrys paua tie, but this didn’t cross my mind. Oh Barry, oh Barry, OHHH BARRY.
November 27th, 2007 at 6:19 pm
Four separate peices of permission from the state just to go to the shops or work!
and no party speaks against these police state tactics.
Only Libertarianz, and they’re ridiculed as nutbars for speaking about social and personal freedoms.
By th etime people have lost all their rights and remember the Libbies, it will be too late to vote for them.
They’ll deserve their enslavement.
November 27th, 2007 at 6:55 pm
Ahhhh, no wonder National’s efforts to oppose this draconian piece of legislation are just as half-hearted as their opposition to the EFB, the S59 Bill etc… the only people who’ll fall victims to this are those with brains.
Typical right wing self-interest rules again.