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A picnic table to be avoided

April 5th, 2008 at 9:32 pm by David Farrar

An amusing news report:

Police said a neighbor in Bellevue videotaped Art Price having sex — termed as “relations” — with his picnic table on four separate occasions, WEWS-TV in Cleveland reported.

It wouldn’t be illegal if he had put the umbrella in the right place to block views!

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This entry was posted on Saturday, April 5th, 2008 at 9:32 pm and is filed under Humour. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

9 Responses to “A picnic table to be avoided”

  1. Lee C (4,499) Says:
    April 5th, 2008 at 10:11 pm

    I reckon you slip a credit-card between teh decsion about which of these two jokers was the more twisted – the guy having sex with his table – or the guy who video’d it – four times, mind!

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  2. Inventory2 (8,898) Says:
    April 5th, 2008 at 10:33 pm

    Brings back memories of John Collinge at the High Commission in London

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  3. dad4justice (7,339) Says:
    April 6th, 2008 at 8:23 am

    One can only hope that Mr Price does not pass down his disgusting table manners to his three school age children?

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  4. Grant Michael McKenna (1,129) Says:
    April 6th, 2008 at 10:34 am

    I wonder what the psychiatric categorisation of a person who is a voyeur of a person with so outlandish a fetish?

    And when will these clearly oppressed minorities get a parade?

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  5. ghostwhowalks3 (387) Says:
    April 6th, 2008 at 12:32 pm

    I would think the psychiatrists call it ´transference’

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  6. Lee C (4,499) Says:
    April 6th, 2008 at 8:23 pm

    I recall a GQ ‘strange way to die’ article about nine years ago now I thnk. One of the strange ways involved a guy who had been crushed in a cave when a rock fell on him while he was sexing a chicken. It kept me amused for days (actually still does). I even imagined the ‘art-house’ short film they could have made about this doomed romance. But then I am relatively wide-minded. If people want to make love to their furniture, then fine. If asked to make a ‘wisdom ofSolomon’ call my money is (just) on the guy who video’d it four times as being the weirder. Once, yes, twice for objective research, ok but four? Didi he only stop becaue he was caught? ps. re sexing furniture: I would only suggest they make sure that every surface is properly sanded first. I can feel a youtube video coming on….

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  7. Fred (176) Says:
    April 6th, 2008 at 9:25 pm

    So the chicken lived to tell the tale? or was it a case of petit mal becoming grand mal.

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  8. Sam (488) Says:
    April 7th, 2008 at 11:56 am

    I’ve heard of people owning sexy furniture, but a picnic table… And David, an umbrella would not only block the view, but also the only available orifice (I guess that’s what he was using?)…

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  9. RRM (7,448) Says:
    April 7th, 2008 at 4:57 pm

    Sam – probably a good guess, but we don’t really know for sure who was the pitcher and who was the catcher on this occasion…

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