A sad graduation ceremony
NZPA reports that Chris Elliott will attend graduation in Dunedin this weekend on behalf of his sister Sophie Elliott, who was horrifically murdered earlier this year. Elliott had achieved first class honours, and it will be a very sombre aspect to the ceremony. For my 2c though I think it is very appropriate to recognise what happened, rather than try and pretend it didn’t and just have her name read out.
All murders are sad and tragic, but this one more so than most. I just do not understand how something like this can happen.
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Tags: Chris Elliott, Otago University, Sophie Elliott
May 8th, 2008 at 9:54 am
“I just do not understand how something like this can happen.”
Rather simple really. It’s a bloke’s inability to handle rejection whether it be driven by insecurity, anger, revenge or selfishness.
So many of the murders that occur in our society are down to a bloke having been given the elbow (and male youth suicide for that matter).
How to develop greater emotional maturity in guys growing up? I’ll leave that to the professionals.
I also don’t think you can grade the gravity or consequences of murder either.
May 8th, 2008 at 10:12 am
I have never really understood that insecurity/anger/revenge/selfishness thing even though I went through it when I broke up with the love of my life in my mid-20s. It was pathetic behaviour and I am embarrassed about it now. Guys need to HTFU and realise that there are plenty of more fish in the sea and that life goes on.
May 8th, 2008 at 10:18 am
I have never really understood that insecurity/anger/revenge/selfishness thing even though I went through it when I broke up with the love of my life in my mid-20s. It was pathetic behaviour and I am embarrassed about it now. Guys need to HTFU and realise that there are plenty of more fish in the sea and that life goes on.
To some extent culture also needs to change and recognise that relationships are fragile and shouldn’t be treated carelessly.
May 8th, 2008 at 11:19 am
Well they teach boys about the birds & the bees, but little about relationships. If you have sons, talk to them about being in love at the same time as the mechanics of sex. It’s all part & parcel.
May 8th, 2008 at 11:33 am
I think just putting it down to a failed relationship is trite. It is normal to handle a breakup badly. But what happened here is so far outside normal, it is almost unbelievable. I won’t say more as a trial is yet to happen, but the evidence that is in the public domain already makes it clear this was not some crime of passion done in the heat of the moment.
May 8th, 2008 at 11:58 am
Who suggested it was a crime of passion done in the heat of the moment?
Just like Lex Miller who tried to gas his missus in the car we know this was a premeditated murder. Miller planned his attack over months.
No doubt as he couldn’t have Sophie, then no one else was going to. Tragic and oh so common.
If the relationship was still going, would she be dead? Unlikely. So what was the cause then? For whatever reason, this arsehole’s inability to handle break up.
[DPF: She was moving to Wellington to take up a job.]
May 8th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
If it was planned then he obviously didn’t think about the consequences – or is 20 years in jail not so bad?
May 8th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Any unforseen death is sad to those closest. But when you get the brutual slaughter of such a brilliant and attractive individual, who was obviously destined for great things, it has a far wider impact. It was such a sad and terrible waste to NZ society, I actually wept. And her poor, poor mother who found her blooded body….Just gut-wretching.
May 8th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
I think every guy I’ve ever met has had one two or possibly fourty seven bad breakups. None of us went and hacked the poor girl to death.
Possibly we were all too drunk to function at the time or we’d been brought up to hold ourselves down to being just plain stupid and not homicidal.
There’s something deeply wrong with this guy and a wrongness to the whole thing that can never be mended.
May 8th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
If the relationship was still going, would she be dead? Unlikely. So what was the cause then? For whatever reason, this arsehole’s inability to handle break up.
[DPF: She was moving to Wellington to take up a job.]
There was also another person involved – not saying directly, but apparently she had met someone new too and that would have been a contributing factor to his unstable thought process.
I think every guy I’ve ever met has had one two or possibly fourty seven bad breakups. None of us went and hacked the poor girl to death.
It’s not limited to guys either, I read a few years back a woman (I think it was at Auckland University) had killed a DJ because he had dumped her for another girl.
May 8th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
These sorts of acts are impossible to understand and to comprehend the mind of the perpetrator. They are so horrific as to be outside normal rational thinking.
I doubt if the threat of punishment, no matter how sever, will ever deter such crimes of passion. It is not the act of a rational mind.
Irrational and violent responses to severe emotional trauma are not a male preserve.
However, as is the case in domestic violence their physical strength can lead to more horrific outcomes. To generalize and say things like “how to develop greater emotional maturity in guys growing up?” and “Guys need to HTFU” trivialise and to some extent excuse the behaviour. They also perpetrate the male bashing culture that in itself contributes to the problem by reducing self esteem in young males.
As written above, this sort of extreme response is fortunately very rare, and to classify it as a generic “male” problem is absurd. But not surprising.
In the end a much loved family member has been taken and we have lost a highly talented and valuable member of society. A worse tragedy is harder to imagine.
May 8th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
The alleged murderer sounds like just another psychopath. They make up 1 to 4 per cent of the population. They tend to like the power over the vulnerable and the cover they get from responsible jobs such as university lecturer.
The best defence against psychopaths outside of lynchings and everyone carrying sidearms is probably to educate young people to be on the alert for psychopaths’ oily, deceptive personalities, their lack of empathy, their manipulative ways, and a frequent trait — cruelty to animals.
Most psychopaths don’t become murderers of course, but they all leave a trail of wreckage among those with whom they come in close contact, and they show up in the viler cases on Fair Go.
May 10th, 2008 at 10:50 pm
Hi there, I’m a bit late out of the gates here, but I just thought I’d say something quickly.
I was at the graduation today, standing near lesley and I watched as chris accepted her degree. That I should be there, and Sophie should not, is a tragedy beyond my ability to convey to you. I’m so proud of her, and she earned every single A+ she ever received (and most of her marks were A+s!!!!).
I lived with Sophie (she was my girlfriend) for several years, and I am conceited enough to believe that I am one of the few who truly knew her. Please let me assure you that her death is not only a loss to her family and friends, but to the whole of society.
Clayton Weatherston is a psychopath, he fits the bill perfectly. Jack5, you have the right of it. However, personally I do advocate carrying sidearms and lynching
If you’d all like to help facilitate positive criminal justice reforms, please consider making a donation to the Sensible Sentencing Trust.
June 26th, 2009 at 9:12 pm
I’m not excusing Weatherston for what he did, but I do know it is normal for anyone to be angry if they get dumped but what he did wasn’t normal. It’s how you deal with it, that counts.
Despite what Weatherston did, I do believe that he should get a fair trial in Court, and I don’t think it is fair for people to attack him or backstab him because I do feel that he has been subjected to a lot of emotional trauma as well as the victim.
I have heard through the media, that Sophie made a few derogatory comments about Weatherston about his impotency. And of course, Weatherston did the same thing too.
I am sure that Weatherston wasn’t thinking straight and was feeling mentally unwell when he committed the crime.
I admit that I have had the same thoughts running through my mind when I have been dumped but I have thought of the consequences of such an action.
The main reason why I decided to leave a comment here is that I think that a lot needs to be done with regard to mental health services. I feel that they are not doing enough, especially in Dunedin. I am not too sure of what Claytons psychiatric background is, weather he was depressed etc. but I’m guessing if he was suffering from such problems why didn’t anyone intervene such as a mental health professional? If he had the help that he needed, perhaps this crime may not have happened.
I don’t think men in this country are represented as well as women when it comes to issues such as domestic violence and psychiatric health services. Men don’t have a “mens refuge”. Violence towards men does happen. It may not be physical but it can be psychological.
We tend to be narrow minded and we automatically see the male as the perpetrator – this isn’t always the case.
June 27th, 2009 at 2:06 am
I just thought I’d add one last thing and I don’t know weather this gets published either.
Again, I’m not excusing weatherston for what he did. But there’s the other side to the coin – there are so many fickle women out there these days. It’s just plain dangerous to play with peoples feelings to the extent that something like this happens.
I’m not saying women don’t have the right to choose who they be with but when either people are nasty, nasty stuff happens.
June 29th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
I’ve just read the latest in Clayton Weatherstons trial.
There doesn’t seem to be much hope to him after what happened.
As a male, I can relate to some of the things that have happened as I was in an unhealthy long distance relationship. For example, I found that some of my property got deliberately damaged at my ex girlfriends place. I can’t prove that she did it but it was likely that it was her. And secondly, the relationship was an on again, off again one. Both of these things made my life hell.
Perhaps, this was a motive in the killing? What if no one got murdered, would Clayton still be feeling the way he is? Sounds like a no win situation for me.
I’d hate to be Clayton when he gets out of prison. Just imagine it.