Another fun night watching Back Benches
May 1st, 2008 at 8:06 am by David FarrarAfter missing it last week, popped in again to the Backbencher last night for the usual live filing of Back Benches. The MPs were Rodney Hide, Jacqui Dean, Te Ururoa Flavell and Russel Norman (not quite an MP yet).
Rodney joined our table before the show and loudly proclaimed the he figured the Nats were pushing fibre to the home for broadband just so I could get better quality porn. I jokingly corrected him that it was so I could get faster porn, not better porn. Rodney then started practising his parliamentary speech about how any Bill for fibre to the home should be called the Faster Farrar Porn Bill. Others started joining in until I pointed out to them all that only Rodney gets parliamentary privilege 
The show went well. The funniest moment for me was when Wallace asked Russel about biofuels, and a few seconds into what appeared to be the start of a very long explanation, Rodney rang the bell to cut him off.
Around halfway through the show Wallace announced they are giving away a luxury item in a quiz, and he held up a 1kg block of tasty cheese which he said was now a luxury item at $15. And the question was what sort of car has replaced the Ford Fairlaines as Ministerial cars.
I couldn’t resist and stuck my hand up and shouted out “BMW 720is”. Wallace was so impressed (or appalled by my nerdiness) he awarded me the cheese. At this stage someone sitting with the Green supporters yelled out loudly “Who is that bald cunt”, Now I have been called a cunt several times before, but never on live television on a news show. I joked afterwards to Guyon Espiner that being called a cunt on live television had never happened to me before, and he replied that it had to him! I forgot to ask whether it was an MP
Being serious for a second, I do think it is grossly inappropriate to use the cunt word on a live television news show. Not at all worried that it was directed at me, but it was boorish in the extreme. “Who is that bald bastard” would have worked just as well without actually exposing TVNZ to the Broadcasting Standards Authority (which I jokingly threatened them with).
Anyway my cheese victory was short lived. Barry and Heather Soper (I can’t be bothered trying to spell her actual surname) popped in after the show and I boasted of my victory in winning the cheese. Barry immediately says I got the make wrong and they are BMW 730Lds. I don’t think I am wrong, so I fire up the Blackberry and search on my blog site as I know I blogged the model when they were announced.
Sadly I did get the make slightly wrong (hey 730 is close to 720) and they are BMW 730Lds. So what does Barry do, he reaches across the table and takes my cheese claiming he is the real winner of it, despite not even being there for the show.
I then drown my sorrows at my lost cheese in another Speights.
May 1st, 2008 at 8:09 am
You should have said “Brittney Spears”.
Vote:May 1st, 2008 at 8:13 am
Well I had some tea, after returning home from teh new shop (trouble installing the alarm) played with Little Owen at Bathtime, then played around with Audacity ( a free music software programme which I can’t save from as I don’t have the unzipping software) watched a bit of TV (Five Days) then tucked up with ‘ABsolute Power’ (my second reading as I preci’d it firt time) before nodding off. At about four I awoke with a full bladder, and had a very quiet pee. (I like to do this seated so not to wake the wife and kids).
Vote:Then I went back to bed.
May 1st, 2008 at 8:17 am
ooooh , I geddit! Nice frisson there, Murrray. I salute you.
Vote:May 1st, 2008 at 8:39 am
It’s not like Soper needed the cheese, the fat grubbing bastard.
[DPF: I suspect you have not seen Barry lately]
Vote:May 1st, 2008 at 8:44 am
Maybe he was having supper with Jonathan Hunt and you know that fat grubbing bastard never pays for anything.
Vote:May 1st, 2008 at 9:16 am
“Faster Farrar Porn Bill”
Love it!
I’ll donate $200 to the party of the MP who uses that in their speech
Vote:May 1st, 2008 at 9:31 am
Rodders must have read my post: http://actoncampus.org.nz/blog/national_socialism_and_15bn_of_high_speed_porn
hehe
Vote:May 1st, 2008 at 9:53 am
Great story, but you ruined it right at the end….
Vote:Speights? What is the world coming to
May 1st, 2008 at 10:17 am
How come Jacqui Dean gets on twice? Do we really need to see more of her?
Vote:May 1st, 2008 at 10:18 am
So we get to make fun of Miss Playschool’s attempts to ban DHMO twice of course.
Its like why they put retarded people on reality TV, its more entertainign when they screw up!
Vote:May 1st, 2008 at 10:21 am
Tch, typical hirsute hippies wouldn’t recognise a Brazilian if it sat on their faces.
Vote:May 1st, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Since when do Greens supporters meet the dress standards necessary to get into the Backbencher?!
Vote:May 1st, 2008 at 2:23 pm
I hear Soper has got engaged to woman young enough to be his daughter ?
Vote: