Some more attack lines for Labour
Readers have been usefully suggesting more attack lines for Labour, after their attempts to blame him for the global financial crisis and the War in Iraq failed. Some of the suggestions:
- Why is Key so silent on that day in Dallas on the grassy knoll and what was he up to in Sarajevo in 1914?
- You forgot the one about disabling the warning signal at Tangiwai.
- John Key has been known to mix formula milk at home, and must have something to do with the latest, ‘China Syndrome
- He will certainly make all State Housing Clients homeless
- Ordering the My Lai massacre
- Financing Osama BinLaden whilst at Merrill Lynch
- Arranging the transfer of the Nazis gold bullion and art treasures
- I have it on good authority that one of the reincarnations [of John Key] was of a close relative of Genghis Khan
- He probably poisoned the AB’s before the WC final too. Rich Prick.
- John Key will SELL the hospitals to his cronies at Merrill Lynch
- Since John Key is personally responsible for global finacial melt-down having worked at ML, on the same logic surely he must also be responsible for violence in South Auckland (having visited there), foreshore treaty claims (for owning a beach house), conning Cullen into paying too much for the train set (as a ML shareholder), theft of medals from Waiouru (didn’t he drive through there once), milk contamination in China (having met with Andrew Ferrier)
- Members of the Manson cult are also known to have celebrated John Key’s 8th birthday by slaughtering Sharon Tate and others
- Breaking news: John Key named in apple/Eve enticement scandle!
- It is a little known fact that Key was the designer of the Titanic, apparently he was also the man who loaded the flight plan into the computer of the ill fated DC10 Erebus flight.
- John Key was also seen leaving Cape Canaveral prior to the launch of Challenger, with an o-ring hanging out of his briefcase.
- And the letters in NATIONAL MP JOHN KEY can be rearranged to spell KLEPTOMANIA JOHNNY. No wonder this election is about trust…
One really shouldn’t give Labour ideas for attack lines, but if they do run with any of these, then we calim intellectual copyright over them at Kwiiblog! 
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Tags: attack lines, John Key, Labour
September 19th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
Brilliant.
September 19th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
He was smoking a cigar on the Hindenburg too.
September 19th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
I understand he was seen near a hill outside Jerusalem one Easter about 2000 years ago carrying a hammer and three nails as well. However, I am reliably informed by sources that he did NOT design the Titanic. He designed the iceberg.
September 19th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
John Key didn’t really work for Merrill Lynch. He was once known as Arkan and led the Tigers in Bosnia.
http://www.mozgofilms.com/Arkan/Arkan-sm.jpg
September 19th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
John Key isn’t really called John Key. He is really Arkan, paramilitary leader of the Tigers.
Merrill Lynch was a cover story.
September 19th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
He was also seen fiddling with the hatch of Apollo 1.
Bear I suspect you were mistaken, we all know Clark WAS the iceberg on that one.
September 19th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
It was JK that gave Greg Chappell the idea…
September 19th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
Murray, in that case I’d like to recommend a medal be struck and posthumously awarded to Captain Edward Smith, for his bravery in attempting to ram the iceberg.
September 19th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Add up the Ascii values of the characters “John KEY” and you get 664.
664 makes John Key the neighbour of the Beast
September 19th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
We really are very naughty in our pisstake of Dearly Beloved Heavenly Leader but like all socialists/communists they do invite it.
I mean what a miserable humourless thin lipped lot they are. And talk about take themselves so bloody seriously
I suspect all have a humour bypass as they slip down the birth canal That is the ones who arent aliens
September 19th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Interestingly enough, bear, if he’d rammed the iceberg, there is a high chance the Titanic would have survived the impact. It was the attempt to avoid it which caused the boat to scrape along the iceberg, rupturing several of the air-tight compartments, thus assisting the sinking.
September 19th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
John Key is Brian Henry’s “other client”
When he was a cartoon character, John Key shot Bambi’s mum
At the 1995 Rugby World Cup, dressed as a waitress called Suzie, John Key …
September 19th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Does he have an alibi for September 10 2001? Has anyone in the MSM thought to check?
September 19th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
And then of course have Labours internet account cancelled when they infringe that copyright. Brilliant.
Bryan Spondre
September 19th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Dont forget that John Key is a rotten thief because he has still got a book out on his library card he had when he was at school. And he gave the drugs to Florence Griffith-Joiner before she won her gold medals at a recent games- also John Key’s neighbour’s second cousin’s wife gave some ammunition to his father whose brother in law gave it to Mark Chapman so he could shoot John Lennon.
September 19th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Quite clearly, if JK has the ability to cause a global financial meltdown by remote control, then he must have supernatural powers ……. wouldn;t you just have to have that man as your country’s leader and PDQ IMVHO.
OTOH he has never explained where he was in the Autumn of 1888 when those prostitutes were savagely and terminally murdered in Whitechapel.
September 19th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Lee, don’t be silly; had he attempted to ram the iceberg, she would simply have opened her gaping maw and swallowed the ship whole.
Although I hear that Labour strategists are confident of Key’s downfall in November, citing an earlier instance millennia ago when an all-powerful deity cast him down into the pit of eternal despair…
September 19th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
Not only did John Key participate in the Nanjing Massacre, there is photographic proof:
http://listverse.com/KeyNanjing.jpg
Evil man.
September 19th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
Just quickly:
Am I to understand that it is the view of everyone here that John Key would not have joined the US’s invasion of Iraq, or that – if he did – no New Zealand soldiers would have died?
September 19th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
Not only did Key sink the Titanic, he was the first into the life-boats dressed as a woman.
September 19th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Doesn’t he also have a holiday house in Hawaii? Which means he is pretty much directly responsible for the murder of Captain James Cook.
September 19th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
coge: haha that is hilarious!
September 19th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Contrary to popular belief, it was not the Grinch who stole Christmas. Indeed it was John Key.
He then privatised it and sold it to all of his rich mates. What a bastard.
September 19th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
“Doesn’t he also have a holiday house in Hawaii”
Yes. And a place at Omaha Beach, which leads me to think that he was personally responsible for the deaths of thousands of young GIs during the D-Day landings, the unspeakable fiend. Not alone did he assist the defending Germans, but he also provided Tom bloody hanks with another movie. Is there no end to the man’s perfidy?
September 19th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
I heard from a reliable source that the reason Key wanted in on Iraq was so the Americans would send their warships here again and he could hijack a submarine and fire nukes at Washington and Moscow, thus triggering a global nuclear war that would destroy all life on earth, leaving Key the dictator free to start a new civilisation under the sea.
September 19th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
I once saw John Key sitting on a park bench in the viaduct. Clearly he is the role model and main motivator for all of the homeless in Auckland.
And John, I have to say…..I have seen you many times in person especially at AKL/WGTN airports. Those ties…clearly you were the inspiration for Queer eye for the straight guy. Just saying….
September 19th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
I’m sure I read somewhere that investigators at Roswell are now certain that John Key’s DNA matches the DNA found on site.
September 19th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
the blogwatch commissars on the 9th floor will be reporting to herself Prime Minister those people at the nasty man Farrars site are saying the most appalling things But never fear Prime Minister We have their names and when the glorious 4th term commences we will deal with them in a Parties approved manner.
September 19th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
… meanwhile [getstaffed bows head in reverence] we owe the existence of the sun, the air that we breathe and the very essence of life itself to the glorious majesty that is Helen Elizabeth Clark. We wish that her powers should be expanded, and that she may extend her reign over us.
I feel unclean writing this… even in jest.
September 19th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
1) Who knows? – there’s a big difference between what a PM does in office and what they talk louldy about when they’re just MP’s in opposition. I don’t think anyone, even Key, could say what he would have done if it were his decision. He doesn’t strike me as having very strong ideological convictions so I’m sure he would have weighed a lot of stuff up before sending troops.
2) Probably not. We don’t have the ability to support thousands of troops on the other side of the world. More likely than not we would have sent special forces and reconstruction. And the Americans wouldn’t have asked us to do any of the serious fighting, just like most of the rest of the coalition that were there. If the Aussies have lost 2 soldiers it’s very likely we wouldn’t have had any casualties at all.
I think what most people object to is the idea of using a ridiculous pro-rata measure in an equally ridiculous hypothetical situation to score cheap political points by fear-mongering. Or at least that’s how I see it
September 19th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
John Key is actually Elvis. He faked his own death to join the National Party.
September 19th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
There is no tooth fairy, she went out of business. Why?
Because John Key stalks the night stealing teeth from under pillows, paying well under market value and then trades them with his rich mates, who on sell them again, keeping the best ones to manufacture into their own deadly smiles.
You can’t be a smiling assasin without a deadly smile.
September 19th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
John Key is the bastard son of Lord Lucan, who had his evil way with Mrs Key whilst on the run before he took off to Brazil, leaving John to be raised in a state house and forever aspire to obtain his true peerage.
Once announced as PM, John Key will annoint himself Lord Key, and as the only true blue blood in NZ, disband parliament and rule for life.
September 19th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
John Key scripted the entire Peters/Glen affair – they are merely pawns in his broader game plan to take down HC…
John Key was also instrumental in financing the first series of Shortland Street… ’nuff said.
September 19th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
John Key was caught in the toilets at LAX performing homosexual acts and wearing a stick on white beard and carrying a bag full of sociology text books. He was then whisked out of the country using a diplomatic passport provided by his mate Winston, after he agreed to donate half of his fortune to the spencer trust.
He also has a secret pact to let Winston be Minister For Baubles, Minister For Drinking Piss and Minister For “No” Signs when he wins the next election.
The bastard.
September 19th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
John Key is only an alias. His real name is John Kreese and he is the sensei of our dojo.
Also, sources advise that JK was seen recklessly driving a motorcycle through a tunnel in Paris on August 31 1997, which is what forced him to take on the alias.
September 19th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
A spokesman for Cadbury_Schweppes reported this afternoon that the company’s decision to withdraw Snifters from sale in New Zealand was a result of lobbying by John Key.
“It verged on bullying and intimidation,” the man (who did not wish to be identified for fear of reprisals) said.
“He was like a crazy man.”
The spokesman also said that a group of thugs had stood behind Key when he made his demands.
“He gave us the impression that when he seizes power, he will enforce his will using members of Black Power and Mongrel Mob; he says they’re cheaper than a civil service and he can pay them via the Waitangi Tribunal.”
September 19th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
Dr Robotnik
OH SHIT.
It’s always fun til someone loses an eye.
September 19th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Oh lighten up CraigM, we all know John Key is just another happily married, heterosexual politician who we can trust with our freedom of speech, right to raise our children properly and be a careful custodian of taxpayers money.
September 19th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
What did the 3-year old Key have to say when Holyoake put our troops in harm’s way in Vietnam? He didn’t put out a press release or even send a single email. And his website was suspiciously silent on the whole affair. 37 soldiers died in that conflict – and on a pro-rata basis we lost 750!
Shame on you, Mr Key, you have the blood of our soldiers on your hands (hypothetically).
September 19th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Dr Robotnik
oh, he’s Just like the PM then.
September 19th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
All the above allegations, if true (and I doubt a couple of them), are really just rascally, juvenile misbehaviours.
BTW, is there any truth to the rumours that his local pet shops REFUSE to sell him any more rabbits or guinea pigs?
September 19th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
He was the one armed man!!
September 19th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
John Key dumped all his shares in Union Carbide in November 1984
September 19th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Don’t be silly Craig, John Key is no where near perfect.
Hang on, what are you insinuating?
September 19th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
love it Dont stop this has the potential to be the biggest socialist pisstake post ever on Kiwiblog
Until of course the one on 9th November
September 19th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
John Key is Xenu, the dictator of the “Galactic Confederacy” who, 75 million years ago, brought billions of his people to Earth in spacecraft, stacked them around volcanoes and killed them using hydrogen bombs.
September 19th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
“John Key dumped all his shares in Union Carbide in November 1984″
…and immediately got on a plane and flew out of Bopal.
…he then took up a new career as a ships captain and sailed happily for many years as master of the Exxon Valdez.
September 19th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
Key is the latest incarnation of Tezcatlipoca, the vengeful Aztec creator God. He demands regular sacrifice of beneficiaries’ welfare payments and health and education funding to quench his constant thirst for
bloodtax cuts. His lust for war is rivalled only by his contempt for the truth of the worker’s struggle against evil capitalist overlords. He is a trickster God who lies through his teeth and cannot be trusted and exists only to enrich the moneylenders.During full moons and hot summers he assumes his true shape, spreading his bat-like wings and going on crime and murder sprees around South Auckland.
September 19th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
John Key framed Roger Rabbit. And Winston.
Bastard.
September 19th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
John Key was the chief negotiator for Toll when they sold the trainset to Cullen.
September 19th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Okay, instead of clicking the little red button that gives you that tingly feeling in your pants, someone answer my question:
Are you guys maintaining that either:
1. Key wouldn’t have joined the Coalition of the Willing.
2. That if he had, no Kiwis would have died.
Because if you aren’t actually claiming either of those things, your claim that Clark’s statement is a raving mad baseless attack must depend on the number 60, which I admit is a bizarre figure to pull out of her arse, but is there any number other than zero that would be an acceptable number of Kiwi soldiers killed thanks to Key’s hypothetical participation in Bush’s tragic fuck-up?
September 19th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
Ryan, I answered you.. see above.
Oh and don’t think of it as thumbs up/thumbs down… think of it more as green=right-wing, red=left-wing.
September 19th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
John Key caused the power crisis by leaving all of the hundreds of taps running in his big, rich pricks mansion and draining the dams. Because he is also responsible for global warming, he used to work at Merrill Lynch you know, it didn’t rain. There is speculation that he has bought the weather man, no not Jim Hickey or the skinny bird with a penchant for backdoor action, the real weather man, what makes the weather and has ordered no more rain. Ever.
Except on poor people. He doesn’t like poor people and thinks they should be wet and miserable. Especially the ones he is going to evict from all of the state houses that he’s going to sell to his rich mates.
September 19th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Ah, thanks, Gazzaj. Yes, that does make sense. The kind of work the NZ armed forces do is generally different from the grunt work the US army does. Thanks.
September 19th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
Oh and don’t think of it as thumbs up/thumbs down… think of it more as green=right-wing, red=left-wing.
Haha, I must say, “Hey, guys, how is everyone today?” in a real left-wing kind of way sometimes.
September 19th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
Of course he would have joined them Ryan.
Mooslims are poor and he doesn’t like poor people.
He also would have made a killing running guns to sell to the poor people who can’t afford them at overinflated prices and high interest rates so that they could shoot at kiwis. Because John Key would only have sent poor kiwis. The ones he doesn’t like.
(and NO Helen. You CANNOT use my lines at your next greypower speech. Get your lackey Matt to write you some.)
September 19th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
Folks….plenty of other sightings
On good authority, he became a Rich Prick as Ronnie Biggs’ banker in Brazil
And wasnt it his idea for all the guns at Singapore to face the sea?
Who else but he was the unknown supporter on Mao’s epic swim?
Moreover NZ’s nuclear policy would be absolutely safe in his hands – after all wasnt he the one who loaded the Enola Gay?
And, the nation should be told – why has he never fessed up to pushing Humpty off the wall…!!
September 19th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Ryan;
It’s late on Friday afternoon and clearly you are the only one not drinking.
September 19th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
John Key caused the boxing day tsunami when he pushed Gerry Brownlee off the top diving board at their exclusive, rich pricks only holiday resort in Indonesia.
Bill English and Don Brash just laughed as they sacrificed more poor people and women and kids to the Exclusive Brethren.
September 19th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
John Key never lived in a state house but he did visit one once, to laugh at the people who lived there.
September 19th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
I think philu has spiked my coffee.
September 19th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
I see John Key’s Biography on his website has just been updated.I repeat it here for you:
John Key was born in Auckland but moved to Christchurch when a child.
Update: After taking up rugby for the fiersome red and blacks, his devastating right boot was said to be responsible for inflicting several losses on the Blues. He has since changed team allegiances giving the Blues hope of victory again after recent crushingly poor form.
He was educated at Burnside High School.
Update: This was the same school attended, a year later, by hard left commentator Russell Brown. Mr Brown has commented on many occassions to have veered left because “To make a name for myself at school I had to differentiate completely myself from that fag Key who was just so bloody popular. It was his good looks and smile that did it so that’s why I’ve had to go with the ugly sad look”"
Key then gained a B.Comm from the University of Canterbury. Update: It is there that he first became aware of another University of Canterbury Bcomm alumni Pansy Wong, and it is said that it was at alumni gathers that they first began plotting the storming of Stalingrad with fellow Rich Pricks.
John launched his investment banking career in New Zealand in the mid 80s. After 10 years in the New Zealand market he headed offshore, working in Singapore, London and Sydney for US investment banking giant Merrill Lynch. During that time he was in charge of a number of business units including global foreign exchange and European bond and derivative trading. Update: Bonds and derivatives were the very same financial tools used with such devastating impact by disgraced Bridgecorp director Rod Petrecivic and Blue Chip founder Mark Byers. Coincidence? Not bloody likely.
In 1999 John was invited to join the Foreign Exchange Committee of the Federal Reserve Bank of NY and on two occasions undertook management studies at Harvard University in Boston. Update: It is surely no concidence that this is the very same University attended by Natalie Portman, who played Luke Skywalker’s mother Queen Amidala. I ask you, what sort of a scumbag attends the same university as a woman who would stoop to playing the mother of someone who would kill his own iconic father?
In 2001, he headed back to New Zealand to fulfill a long held ambition to stand for Parliament for the National Party. He won the Helensville seat in 2002 with a majority of 1589.Update: 1589 was the very same year that Hiroshima, Japan was founded…. and looked what happened to that!
John has risen through the ranks since then, becoming deputy finance spokesman and then finance spokesman, rising to number 7 prior to the 2005 election. Update: 7 and 2005 equals 2013, and 20 thirteens is surely going to mean a whole lot of bad luck.
At the 2005 election he again won the Helensville seat, this time with a majority of 12,778. Update, It was, incidentally, in December 778 BC (12, 778) that Agamestor, King of Athens, died after a reign of 17 years and was succeeded by his son Aeschylus. King Aeschylus, as it happens, was named after Aeschylus, the ancient Greek playwright. He is often recognised as the father or the founder of tragedy – thus John Key is further inexticably linked with tragedy.
He continued to be the Party’s finance spokesman and and was ranked at number 4 before being elected Leader on 27 November 2006. Update: In yet another spooky coincidence, it was on November 27 (1999) that the left-wing Labour Party took control of the New Zealand government with leader (Comrade) Helen Clark becoming the first elected female Prime Minister in New Zealand’s history. Could there be a more inauspicious date in the history of any country on which to be elected leader, I ask you?.
John is married to Bronagh and has 2 children. Update: Key met his wife Bronagh when they were both students at Burnside High School. They married in 1984, thereby giving George Orwell, retrospectively, the justification for setting his bestselling book in such an inauspicious year)
When he has some spare time he likes to spend time with the family, cooking, playing golf and watching rugby. Update: Is there no end to this sick barstard’s depravity. I mean, what sort of a soulless neanderthal spends time with his family! (Good on him for playing golf though – I hear Hitler liked the game as well:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/main.jhtml?xml=/education/2004/04/24/tehGngolf26.xml
September 19th, 2008 at 5:19 pm
John Key stole the tarts, ate all the pies, and stole the cookies from the cookie jar.
He also lives in a gingerbread house in the middle of an enchanted forest and lures children inside to bake and eat them.
September 19th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
He didn’t steal them gazzaj.
He privatised them and sold them to Gerry Brownlee., who ate them all.
September 19th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
John Key was the pilot flying Osama Bin Laden out of America on September 11th while all other planes were grounded.
September 19th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
Oh oh, I checked Wikipedia.
Nixon resigned on John Keys Birthday!
Also notable events of August 9.
Nagasaki had the Atomic Bomb dropped on it.
Meanwhile, on Dear Leaders Birthday, Feb 26
1935 saw the Luftwaffe reformed!
1993 was the first World Trade Centre Bombing!!! Let’s pin that on her!
In 2001 the Giant Buddha’s of Bamiyan were destroyed by the Taliban on Helen’s 43rd Birthday, conicidentally this is the province where NZ Troops are currently stationed! It’s a conspiracy I tell you!
September 19th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
BUT BUT BUT:
If John Key made his money trading at Merrill Lynch, and M-L is now in deep do-dos, DOESN’T that say that John Key’s history is with risky boom-or-bust type economics, and SHOULDN’T we therefore be a bit wary of bestowing boy-wonder status upon him??
September 19th, 2008 at 6:29 pm
Boy wonder or mad witch?
September 19th, 2008 at 6:34 pm
Whale Oil Beef Hooked… He’s back!
September 19th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
Didn’t that silly old fool Nostrodamus make a prediction about an anti-Christ coming?
I bet anything you like that his name would have to be John Key? Helen and Michael will no doubt produce compelling evidence in the next day or so!
September 19th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
A JohnKey stole my baby!
September 19th, 2008 at 7:30 pm
John Key is the fraudster who airbrushes Helen’s photos – why won’t he sign them ?
September 19th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
Why not go all the way back and say that John Key was the serpent in the Garden of Eden, and therefore is responsible for the sinful condition of the entire human race!
September 19th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
John Key is Sullens secret love child but the force is still strong in John, will he give into the dark side.
September 19th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
“A JohnKey stole my baby!” not a dingo
September 19th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
John Key abducts aliens and probes them.
September 19th, 2008 at 8:19 pm
John Key went to a New York Strip Club and didn’t tip
September 19th, 2008 at 8:29 pm
john key is bigfoot..
phil(whoar.co.nz)
September 19th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
John Key grew a phool plant..
September 19th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
but all jokes to one side..
he is a master of the universe..
standing before that (now) failed/broken/bankrupt universe..
dosen’t look that good on the c.v..
..eh..?
phil(whoar.co.nz)
September 19th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
On the acid again phool?
September 19th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
Philip Ure – trust you to come in and spoil the fun!
Philip Ure is John Key’s love-child!
September 19th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
IV2 – ew yuk, c’mon – lets keep the standards
September 19th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
John Key asked Trevor Chappell to bowl underarm.
John Key was the waitress in South Africa who poisoned the All Blacks.
John Key filled the vats of poison at Jonestown.
John Key taught Charles Manson how to tattoo.
John Key made his money in the slave trade.
John Key supplied opium to the Chinese.
September 19th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
and hey..!..those cheered by the rise in the markets today..who think it may be all over..
the sub-prime thing dosen’t peak until late 2009..(that’s late 2009..and that’s ‘peaks’..not ends..just ‘peaks’..
..how many more ‘bailouts’ d’yareckon it’ll be before there is no more bail-out money..?
..there’s no way they’ll make it to the election..eh..?
..should we start a sweepstake..?
..as to the actual date they are just forced to stand back and just let it crumble..?
(i doubt they’ll make it to the election..)
(and to those who doubt these words..
..i’ve been right about this thing up unitil now..eh..?
http://whoar.co.nz/?s=meltdown&paged=4
(the first warning i posted about this happening was on august 6th 2006..)
..and it is a long long way away from bottoming yet..eh..?
phil(whoar.co.nz)
[DPF: 10 demerits for offtopic. There is now a daily general debate, so I am going to be tougher on people trying to push threads off topic]
September 19th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
John Key was the driver in the speeding motorcade.
I once saw John Key eat a baby
September 19th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
“..should we start a sweepstake..?”
phool ;who could we trust, Helen or Winston to hold the money?
September 19th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
where have our mainstream media been..eh..?
asleep at the wheel..?..or what..?
all those highly-paid (that grates!) ‘experts/pundits’..
none of them having a fucken clue..
(i have 160 stories/warnings in that ‘meltdown’ category..
..they had nothing..)
and the joke is..
they still expect us to believe/listen to them..
phil(whoar.co.nz)
September 19th, 2008 at 9:05 pm
“..Philip Ure is John Key’s love-child!..”
i want my inheritance..!
daddy..!
phil(whoar.co.nz)
September 19th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
any handout will do………….
September 19th, 2008 at 9:16 pm
you’re a sad/bitter man..star a.k.a. ‘dull glow’..
do you need a hand up ya..?
y’know..!..it might cheer you up..!
phil(whoar.co.nz)
September 19th, 2008 at 9:25 pm
hey dipshit. I’m doing just fine. I’m not the one budging off the taxpayer.
…I’ve offered to give you a “hand up”…
..but you asked for another “handout”
you’re just a parasite
September 19th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
and you are just such a sweetie..!
..i just want to tickle you/chuck you under the chin.!
..just to hear you giggle..
phil(whoar.co.nz)
September 19th, 2008 at 10:47 pm
Phil, I always read your comments since I know that amongst the ideology there are often gems to be found. However matey I’m finding it rather tiresome to have you constantly claim to be the sole oracle with respect to the current financial issues.
Do you really think that some of us haven’t been aware for many years of what’s now playing out? Personally phil I’d put my sources and history and understanding of the financial issues up against yours any day – I saw it coming long before 2006 believe me. The reason I don’t talk about it much here is because I’m happy to abide by the blog owner’s subject choices.
Personally I think DPF misses extremely significant events in the international arena, since his focus is on domestic issues, which he does better than anyone in this country. Fair enough. If DPF chooses to open up a thread on Georgia or any other current relevant international issue then watch me go. However until that happens I’m happy to remain silent and inject what I can when I can within the boundaries of blogosphere decorum.
Personally I’ve not bothered to open a blog myself since others with time and dedication do it far better than I can and so all I do is point people to certain issues when the matter arises. However you’ve done exactly that and good on you. I understand you really want to push your own barrow as do others here. Very understandable.
However it wastes a lot of valuable attention airtime wading through irrelevant comments that boil down to ‘I told you so.’ Who gives a fuck phil?
What would be useful are solutions. You’ve got a lot of people who read these comments and it would be useful to them if you explained what the useful investments would be, what they can practically do given your understanding of the situation or even what the next stages are going to be. For example, personally I knew about Lehman’s a month ago and as probably everyone now finally realises the Derivative shit is about to hit the fan. What’s your analysis of that?
You get the point I’m sure. You’re a very bright guy, work with us phil, we are *not* the enemy.
My entry:
John Key planted a small IED on Hulun’s plane door blowing it open. The papers that were lost forever out the door included a full disclosure of the Spencer Trust and its purpose and intentions and the only copy of its accounting records which were only kept on hard copy. The fact this occurred has prevented Winston from clearing his good name in the face of this recent media beatup and is precisely why the SFO is currently of the opinion that Winston’s testimony is complete bollocks.
September 19th, 2008 at 11:37 pm
Phule
“..i just want to tickle you/chuck you under the chin.!”
It can be arranged. – but I dont know about the ‘giggle’
September 20th, 2008 at 12:31 am
“..everyone now finally realises the Derivative shit is about to hit the fan. What’s your analysis of that?..”
apart from this is the really scary one..?..worth trillions…?..makes the insurance company/aig one look like a minnow..?.
..with enormous international obligations/implications..?
..and that it is a system so complex..even those working in it don’t understand how it works..?
..aside from that….
..i don’t know much..
,,and sheesh..!..after yelling about this..(and being ignored)..for two years..surely i’m allowed a brief ‘i told you so’ window of opportunity..?
..what do i think will happen next..?
..what i think will happen next is that we will finally see the (promised) trickle-down effect in action..
..(except it won’t be the chimera of promised ‘trickle-down from the taxes-cut rich/wealth for the masses..
..that never really happened eh..?..that neo-con con..?
..what we will see is the trickle down of poverty..
..as the/this contagion spreads down to street level..
..i don’t share the official confidence in our aussie banks..
..i reported on whoar about 10 months ago..a warning from the aussie reserve bank.
..warning of the australian commercial banks’ exposure to the sub-prime problem..’should it unravel’..
..well..it has certainly unravelled..eh..?
..and i would guess that ‘dangerous’ exposure is still there..?
..and why do you think (’smart’) people are fleeing to gold..?
..on other levels..large sections of the retail trade are dead in the water…
..the/our age of (mindless) consumerism is over..
..so..the impact/pain from that is obvious..
..house values will stop being coy..
..and will seriously head south..
..and then..personal credit will start to be called in..
.and those people who are stretched..
..will start popping like rubber bands..
..it is going to get very ugly..
..and we are heading into a whole new age..
..those who have lived since the second world war..have lived in a period of relative no-change..
.i mean..we have i-pods..and a decent body of music to play on them..
..but aside from peripherals like that..
..we have lived in static times..
..this is now all changing..
phil(whoar.co.nz)
September 20th, 2008 at 12:43 am
I used to read phils posts too but cant be arsed any more. Its getting/is/has been?..eh!..tedious..!
This is a great link:
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/business/insane-greed-still-best-way-to-make-money%2c-say-experts-200809191268/
September 20th, 2008 at 12:44 am
Phule
A few things you may want to consider before you offer to tickle/chuck me under my chin:
I am 107 kg… – and my waist is only 34”. (therefore my weight is not just in my cock!)
Whilst I am only 1.8m tall I have had a life of playing rugby, competitive boxing, representing NZ in ocean racing on two occasions (gained my silver ferns) and I actively participate in the sport of tramping/hunting.
You, on the other hand are a druggie, a convict, a welfare bludger and do nothing but sit in front of your computer slagging off at people!
What chance do you honestly believe you have In tickling/chucking me under the chin?
September 20th, 2008 at 12:56 am
He was getting all homoerotic on you Pat.
September 20th, 2008 at 12:58 am
JOhn Key once voted Labour
September 20th, 2008 at 1:45 am
“..and that it is a system so complex..even those working in it don’t understand how it works..?”
If everyone who CAN know how it works DOESNT know how it works, then all your your hysterical end of the world fantasies are just pessimism because you dont know that it doesnt work.
You see how logic works?
September 20th, 2008 at 2:16 am
John Key gave Bill Clinton a box of cigars.
September 20th, 2008 at 2:22 am
The character of Colonel Walter E. Kurtz in the movie “Apocalypse Now” is based on John Key.
September 20th, 2008 at 2:34 am
I’ve only scrolled through the entries, and some of them are excellent. Here is mine, for good measure:
John Key poisoned Phar Lap.
September 20th, 2008 at 2:57 am
John Key secretly pays for the one way airline fares to Australia for hard working New Zealanders thus depriving them of their birth right to live in the socialist workers paradise of New Zealand.
September 20th, 2008 at 3:01 am
John Key recommended Sarah Palin to John McCain.
September 20th, 2008 at 3:21 am
Philu
That
whoarwhoosh was Philu’s credibility (did he ever have any?) going up in flames!Exhibit A:
Earth to Dr Phil?
Record profits… despite the largest write offs.
Exhibit B:
Banks solvency not at risk.
Earth to Dr Phil… are you still there?
September 20th, 2008 at 3:25 am
Ouch – my eyes! Looks like the edit function timed out.
September 20th, 2008 at 4:19 am
John Key would have fed sheep brains to average, hardworking NZ cows resulting in a hypothetical, back of the envelope, pro-rata death toll from mad cow disease derivative, CJD of around 2,000,000 average, hardworking kiwis.
Evil, rich bastard.
Vote Labour First, the party who believes pro-rata might be an affirmative action group for promoting the consumption of bush honey.
September 20th, 2008 at 6:41 am
John Key has at least 4 Patio Heaters at his houses/flats.
Therefore he is almost certainly responsible for the huge Ozone Hole just re-discovered.
Not Forgetting Global warming, and chronic Climate Change.
He however cannot be credited for the best Ski Conditions on Ruapehu.
That was HC, the Ice Queen!
September 20th, 2008 at 7:16 am
John Key worked on Manhatten,
so he’s responsible for killing 150,000 innocent Japanese AND for starting the cold war.
September 20th, 2008 at 7:43 am
“..That whoar whoosh was Philu’s credibility (did he ever have any?) going up in flames!..”
nosty/aka..that stalking lawyer guy..
..we..as a country..are living on overseas credit..we currently need to borrow/roll-over $60 billion in overseas loans..all the time..
..just to stay afloat…
(are you still with me nosty..?..)
gee..!..i wonder what would happen should the international meltdown..
(let’s not forget this is just beginning..hold on to your hats..!..here come ‘the derivatives’..!)..
..i wonder what would happen if we weren’t seen as such a good risk any more..?..or if that credit all just dried up..?
..eh nosty..?
..and gee..!..you are one of the ones who has been dissing my predictions/early-warnings of this..for the past two years..eh..?
..so..how much weight do you really think we should give your words..?
..phil(whoar.co.nz)
September 20th, 2008 at 8:12 am
broken record philu.
you just keep waiting for the breakdown of modern capitalism and see how much bene you get paid then. how much free healthcare. how much free acc. how much free education. fucking loser.
John Key is an oppressor of socialist/green/wymyn friendly comrades..eh.
September 20th, 2008 at 10:21 am
Thanks phil for playing with us, most appreciated. I think one of the major current issues in the financial system is the fact that most reserve banks are reacting to it as if liquidity is the root cause which it isn’t. The root cause is lack of confidence, specifically between banks. When banks don’t lend to each other they don’t lend to anyone else either. If this lack of confidence issue is not addressed at a global level we risk capital lending grinding to a halt with all the attendent consequences.
Secondly if the derivatives market collapses, pension funds and insurance companies will take losses large enough to put them out of business many times over. Suddenly millions of mostly western elderly retirees who’ve lost their earning power will be completely broke.
September 20th, 2008 at 10:52 am
“..if the derivatives market collapses, pension funds and insurance companies will take losses large enough to put them out of business many times over. Suddenly millions of mostly western elderly retirees who’ve lost their earning power will be completely broke…”
yeah..
this is what i wrote in may 2007..
“..the real scary thing about kiwisaver..is that .(as gareth morgan noted)..that these super-funds are not government guaranteed..
so..in the event of..(say bad investment decisions/choices)..causing a fund to go belly-up…?
the punters lose their money…
and of course..a general great-depression style global economic meltdown..?
i don’t know..maybe/possibly driven/exacerbated by something like..(oh!..i dunno..?..um..?) the consequences of/from global warming/climate-change..?
well..once again..tough bikkies for us punters…!..eh..
if that pile of paper money should ‘blow away’..that’d be it..!..eh..?
(something to think about..!..eh..?..)”..
http://whoar.co.nz/2007/of-courseyou-know-what-the-really-scarysuss-thing-is-aboutwith-this-kiwisaver-schemeeh/
phil(whoar.co.nz)
September 20th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Phil(u)seless:
Your original claim:
My response:
Two links to rebut your position including this: Three of Australia’s big five banks have just posted record profits and two of them are earning as much as they were in 2006 despite the largest write offs for some years.
It’s telling that your 7:43 response doesn’t address Australia at all. You change the subject completely. This leads me to believe that you have been caught out bullshitting again.
Hmmm… I’m not about to disclose my investment strategies to a drug-fucked wreck, but let’s just say that I trust my judgment and have the results to prove it. Now you, on the other hand Phil. What is your claim to investment expertise?
September 20th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
He’s an expert in commodities.
Codral mainly.
And cash crops.
September 20th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
John Key knows the cure for ALL chronic and acute diseases such as the Common Cold, Influenza, AIDS,TB, Hepatitis,Diabetes,Malaria, Heart attack, Hangover, Erectile dysfunction, PMT etc, but will sell this great medical knowledge only to a cohort of American FreeMason Jews who are ex-employees of Merrill Lynch, for trillions of dollars. Anyone suffering or who has suffered form one or more of the above-named maladies, will be banned from any further free health care in glorius nation of New Zild.
September 21st, 2008 at 6:14 am
John Key developed the All Blacks’ “conditioning programme”.
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:25 pm
John Key didn’t properly declare his Tranz Rail shares and was thus caught out by an intrepid TV ‘journalist’…
Oh wait…