Great Dim-Post
Speculation on the future career of Labour politician Judith Tizard ended today with an announcement from Helen Clark that she would be taking the ousted Auckland Central MP to the United States with her this August, when she travels to New York to take up her new job as head of the United Nations Development Program.
It had been rumoured that Tizard would stand as a Labour Party candidate in Clark’s Mt Albert electorate, return to Parliament as a list MP or even run for mayor of Auckland’s supercity. Those rumours were quashed today with the news of her departure for New York. Clark advised that she has not yet informed Tizard about her upcoming move, as the prospect of such a long journey would only frighten and confuse her. Tizard will be leaving a month before Clark, as US Department of Agriculture regulations state that Tizard – who was Minister of Auckland, as well as Associate Minister for Arts and Transport – must spend at least a month in quarantine before she can enter the US.
Heh
Sources close to Helen Clark warn that Tizard will no longer have the same care-free lifestyle in New York as she did in Auckland or Wellington.
‘Judith was unsupervised a lot of the time,’ said a former staff member in Clark’s department. ‘Although she spent most of the day sleeping on a couch by the window in Helen’s office she would also roam around the beehive, wandering into diplomatic lunches and state dinners where she would delight guests by performing tricks, such as begging for food or rolling over and playing dead.’ …
Clark is understood to have purchased an automatic feeder to prevent Tizard from starving during her absence. At a preset time every morning and evening the device will dispense a serving of Swiss liquer chocolates into a bowl. It also fills her dish with Vueve Cliquot when Tizard presses her nose against a panel on the side of the machine.
Read the whole thing.
March 27th, 2009 at 9:45 am
Classic!
March 27th, 2009 at 10:07 am
Priceless, I wonder if Judith will throw a hissy fit like the Irish Prime Minister did with his nude portraits, oh I do hope so.
March 27th, 2009 at 10:08 am
Rumour has it that Nick Smith is heading for the ambassadors residence in Moscow, he can also measure global warming while there.
March 27th, 2009 at 10:21 am
Oh Jacob! Aren’t you the wit! Half or fuck, I’m not sure which, or is it both?
March 27th, 2009 at 10:42 am
Ouchies.
expat, jacob is actually a very clever plant by John Key.
He replaces Trevor Mallard.
March 27th, 2009 at 10:48 am
Just making sure KB is first with all the political news.
Those russians just love engineers, some of their previous leaders started their careers in engineering, except Stalin of course, who was a trainee priest. They will no doubt all be familiar with Smiths work on landslides.
March 27th, 2009 at 10:49 am
JVH- Once more spews his bile.
Doubt if the real name is Hartog.
Think of another specimen of amoebic pond kijfe
March 27th, 2009 at 11:21 am
The contrast, the contrast!
Gotta love the willingness of regulars here to rip the shit out of any opposition politician they don’t like and at the same time deride and smear someone who gives one of their favourites a serve. The Kiwiblog experience. 100% Pure.
March 27th, 2009 at 11:23 am
The whining, the whinging!
Didums.
Gotta despise the paid hacks who sit in their own filth and fling muck about like a reatarded four year old. So desperately need in need of hug yet too repelant to ever be given one.
March 27th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
Bahahahaha!
That’s awesome.
March 27th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
Greenfly you are as relevant as your party. And hero worshiping JVH shows why you have no longer any input in the direction NZ is going. All good.
Nuff said
March 27th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
Greenfly – it’s a right wing circle jerk, seriously what do you expect?
March 27th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
Geeeez Dont the Socialists hate good humour. the only humour they understand is theirs Pity nobody else gets their jokes.
Good post Dim Post Wonder is Mr Helen Clark will have a cosy job lined up for him at a NY Uni. No doubt there is a shortage of Associate Professors
He can wander the hallowed halls and visit the adjourning ‘small rooms’ to his hearts content
March 27th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
gd – quite possibly. He has already been published in NY:
http://www.compass.auckland.ac.nz/pages/viewmemberpublication.php?member=85
March 27th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
gd – quite possibly! He has already been published in NY:
http://www.compass.auckland.ac.nz/pages/viewmemberpublication.php?member=85
March 27th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Peter Davis is a full professor. He would be unlikely to step back to an Associate Prof role.
March 27th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
bharmer
he may be a full Professor in little ole NZ but methinks at a NY Uni an Associate role may best fit his credentials
March 27th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
If its a right wing jerk circle why are you guys the most prolific posters?
March 27th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
Murray excuse moi!!!!!!!
March 27th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
Murray (2683) 2 1 Says:
March 27th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
If its a right wing jerk circle why are you guys the most prolific posters?
Because we have both hands free for typing!
March 27th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
If its a right wing jerk circle why are you guys the most prolific posters?
Murray, that number beside your name says otherwise.
March 27th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
“Because we have both hands free for typing!”
Typing? – or holding on to your raincoat in the middle of the circle
March 27th, 2009 at 8:08 pm
LOL. Helens girlfriend is a dag. :nod:
March 27th, 2009 at 9:34 pm
This Coronation Street type saga is a pretty instructive lesson in loyalty Labour Party style.
Tizard ranked XX on the Labour Party list was clearly good enough at the time of the election to make it back into parliament thru the back door if they had polled a couple of % points more over their abismal showing.
Now it appears they are moving heave on earth to ensure its ‘no way Hosay’.
I suspect the Tizard dynasty is not at all amused. Decades of service to the Labour Party clearly count for nought.
Chardoney swillers of the world unite for you know not what the new day might bring.
Hawkins, Horomia, Robertson and others whose contributions are so memorable that I’ve forgotten your names should start looking over their shoulders (or at least hire food tasters).
March 27th, 2009 at 11:39 pm
Judith being quarantined as foreign pussy is none too subtitle. Well done Dim Post
Purrrrrr. Eweeee.
March 27th, 2009 at 11:50 pm
I presume H2 will also be going to New York?
March 28th, 2009 at 5:29 am
H2 is not going to New York and I am not surprised Peter Davis is also not going. The leaves the field wide open for Judith, though god knows what she will do , probably act as her eyes and ears and go to functions Helen does not wish to attend and do other minor tasks for the great one – organising the laundry, keeping the kitchen stocked, supervise the cleaning staff, watering the pot plants, dusting the teddy bears on the great-one’s bed, making minor purchases such as stockings and make-up.
March 28th, 2009 at 6:35 am
greenfly-grow a sense of humour. Danyl mostly leans to the left but will ruthlessly take the piss whenever he sees a good opportunity and lets face it, Judith Tizard is a target rich topic!