Clever Fijian media

April 20th, 2009 at 2:00 pm by David Farrar

I like how the Fijian media is protesting military censorship of their stories. They are running totally banal stories, to make a point.

We have this story about a man catching a bus:

IN what is believed to be the first reported incident of its kind, a man got on a bus yesterday.

“It was easy,” he said.

“I just lifted one leg up and then the other and I was on”.

Daily Post reporters found witnesses willing to confirm the happening.

“Yes”, said one who asked to remain anonymous, “I saw him get on the bus”.

Superb. It’s like The Onion. And this story about watching paint dry:

PAINT has apparently dried on his old couch, Max reports.

Given the job of painting the couch, Max was excited at the prospect of the paint drying.

But when asked how it dried, he was nonplussed.

“It just went on wet, but after about four hours, it started to dry”.

“That was when I realised, paint dries,” the young scholar observed.

Fiji Daily Post asked Max if he intended to do more painting.

“Oh yes,” he replied, “I like watching paint dry.”

And a more recent story:

It’s official: a man went out.

Neighbours reported that they saw him go out last night.

‘I thought he was just mad’, a woman opined while asking to remain anonymous.

Another neighbour said he saw him open his door about ten o’clock.

‘Arreh, he went out’, he added.

It’s a very clever way of reminding readers that they are being censored.

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10 Responses to “Clever Fijian media”

  1. getstaffed (9,189 comments) says:

    Hilarious! I wonder how long it will be before banality becomes sedition?

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  2. gazzmaniac (2,319 comments) says:

    Maybe the Australian media (and NZ media) could start reporting like that. They might be more objective and relevant.

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  3. Brian Smaller (4,028 comments) says:

    I thought you were quoting stories from the Dom Post.

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  4. Grant Michael McKenna (1,157 comments) says:

    In South Africa during the apartheid years reports would read that “Mr X spoke to men in blue clothes and then left” and so on.

    Blue clothes= uniformed police, of course…

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  5. radar (319 comments) says:

    There is nothing wrong with what is happening in Fiji. Adolf said so.

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  6. John Ansell (874 comments) says:

    Brilliant.

    I’m sure Bananarama and his thugs will see the funny side.

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  7. tvb (4,255 comments) says:

    Of course following the passing of the Electoral Finance Act Helen Clark wanted the media to publish similar stories like “Helen Clark spoke to a crowd of people who gave her rapt applause”, over and over and over again.

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  8. slijmbal (1,223 comments) says:

    Very smart, very funny – satire to be admired especially under the local junta.

    My opinion of Fijian media just grew enormously.

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  9. wikiriwhis business (3,883 comments) says:

    This was how NZ was going to be if Lairbour got back in yet they protest Fiji

    Goffs a bitch!

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  10. TheMaster (8 comments) says:

    Ditto

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