Dim-Post: New Opposition Leader
July 31st, 2009 at 2:53 pm by David Farrar
Satire at its best in the Dim-Post:
Citing the importance of robust opposition to a healthy democracy and the Labour party’s poor performance in holding the government to account, the Governor General Sir Anand Satyanand took the unusual step of directly intervening in the affairs of Parliament, making changes to the house that have shocked some, but drawn praise from many political and legal experts.
Emphasising Labour’s lacklustre record and the importance of an opposition party in scrutinising Ministers actions and speaking truth to power, the Governor General dismissed Mr Goff and the rest of his Labour MPs and on the same day swore in ‘Tiberius’, a four year old domestic Grey Goose who will act as opposition leader and sole opposition MP.
Tiberius is a great name for a goose.
The new MP has already made a strong impression on the government and its coalition partners; when Justice Minister Simon Power rose yesterday to introduce his new Search and Surveillance bill he was met with a tremendous quacking, honking sound, made by former Greens co-leader Jeanette Fitzsimons; the sound awoke Tiberius who rose on his hind legs and rustled his six-foot long wings at Mr Power who then withdrew from the Chamber. The bill was defeated and will not proceed to Select Committee.
Heh
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July 31st, 2009 at 3:06 pm
Quiet news day?
Vote:July 31st, 2009 at 3:08 pm
And when it is time to retire the goose can be subjet of a celebrity roast.
Vote:July 31st, 2009 at 3:22 pm
oh fuck, not another goose in the opposition
do you think he’ll team up with Mallard? – (would that be a shag?)
Vote:July 31st, 2009 at 4:03 pm
What’s up hubris, you don’t think it’s funny?
It’s tagged as humour, not news. Lighten up.
It is very good. LOL.
Vote:July 31st, 2009 at 5:15 pm
Lighten up.
Now that’s funny.
In the interests of balance and fairness, this is what a grey goose looks like…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grey_goose
Vote:July 31st, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Aah no, I retract that. It’s a ‘domestic’ grey goose
Apologies to any geese, grey in hue or name, that may have been offended.
Vote:July 31st, 2009 at 5:20 pm
Patrick Starr 3:22 pm,
“oh fuck, not another goose in the opposition.
do you think he’ll team up with Mallard? – (would that be a shag?)”
No, no Patrick. The ‘shag’ was what happened to NZ for nine years under the previous government.
Vote:July 31st, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Shit, was ready to post “mallard” jokes myself, but have been beaten to it.
But, seriously, Trevor would be a far more effective Labour leader than the one they have at the moment.
Although Anas platyrhynchos trevorii may well live in constant apprehension of June 5 coming around each year, which could be a negative factor.
Vote:July 31st, 2009 at 5:52 pm
The caption would also be appropriate… if it was a Duck sitting…
Vote:July 31st, 2009 at 6:25 pm
It’s hard to know whether Goff is Caligula or the horse.
Vote:July 31st, 2009 at 6:47 pm
” old domestic Grey Goose who will act as opposition leader and sole opposition MP.”
Is this the politically correct way of saying the opposition leader is an old grey haired honky?
Vote:July 31st, 2009 at 8:53 pm
@Toad
Them’s fightn’ words Toad
. Anas platyrhynchos trevori would be the more accurate scientific name (if I understand your etymology correctly).
Vote:July 31st, 2009 at 9:26 pm
To me he looks like John Key. Even if he is not sitting …
Vote:July 31st, 2009 at 9:40 pm
Now theres an opposition leader with substance lol.
Vote:July 31st, 2009 at 10:53 pm
Very good Danyl. I don’t often laugh out loud, but that honking line cracked me up.
Funniest thing I’ve heard from a lefty since Clark and Cullen promised to take us into the top half of the OECD.
Vote:July 31st, 2009 at 10:56 pm
And yes, Tiberius’s human equivalent probably would get more column inches than the Old Grey Goff – but Labour’s ratings would drop with every frothing unsubstantiated quack.
Vote:August 1st, 2009 at 6:42 am
I thought the Governor General would have appointed this Grey Goose as leader of the opposition.
Just what the country needs after the last nine years of failed government.
Vote:August 1st, 2009 at 10:17 am
So we can take it as read now that green party policy is to back bully boy mallard in his coups attempt.
Almost interesting… yet still irellivant.
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