Garth George proposes gay marriage to John Key
Garth George writes in the Herald:
It comes as no surprise that John Key and National remain top of the political pops a year into their reign. That’s pretty much all down to Mr Key, a Prime Minister the like of whom we have never seen.
I have met almost every prime minister since Sid Holland led the first National Government elected in 1949, and none of them resembles today’s incumbent.
Now I quite like John Key myself, but this sounds like a serious boy crush. Garth should just ask Bronagh directly if she is okay with him dating John also.
But that really sums up Mr Key. He is a man of the people, as yet unspoiled by the poisonous atmosphere of power politics, and in spite of his position and spectacular wealth remains one of us.
He is every bit at home in the company of a class of primary schoolkids as he is with the man and woman in the street, or in the company of the world’s high and mighty. He is amiable, engaging, good-natured, highly intelligent, humorous and, most of all, unaffected.
You feel comfortable in his presence; there is no “side” to him, no insistence on protocol, no efforts to protect him from the hoi polloi. And one of his most attractive traits, which he makes no effort to hide, is his unbridled enthusiasm for, and utter delight in, being Prime Minister.
Garth is right that Key has not changed greatly since becoming PM. Many media have remarked on this.
The enthusiasm for the job may well be part of his popularity, as it does not come across as enthusiasm for power in its own right. Helen Clark often said she enjoyed the job massively, but her public persona was almost that it was an obligation she had to endure to make life better for us all.
Unlike so many of our leading politicians in recent times, he has not graduated from the schoolroom or the lecture hall or the law office into politics, but has achieved significant personal success in the real world.
Thus he is short on theory and long on practice, and his readiness to admit to making a mistake or an error of judgment, so rare in politics, is just another quality appreciated by us Kiwis. He doesn’t U-turn; he simply closes one door and opens another.
Umm, I’m not sure calling a u-turn a nicer name, means it is not a u-turn!
Where I do agree, is that Key does not see a compromise as a sign of weakness. His commercial background has him seeing it as how you make progress.
Nor is he – as so many wealthy people are – miserly. He is reported to give freely to charitable causes, and insists on paying for his wife to accompany him when he has to travel overseas.
As a proud New Zealander, this makes me cringe. He is our Prime Minister, the chief executive of our nation’s business amounting to much more than $100 billion. He is, by private business standards, paid a pittance in salary and expenses.
As our principal face to the world, he should always travel in style, first class all the way, and should be able to take his wife, and even family, with him if he chooses – all at the Government’s expense.
And he should also be able to have an annual triumph, with the government paying for four sacrificial white bulls, and giving him the right to execute his chief opponent he has vanquished. Also one slave to be supplied to whisper “Respica te, hominem te memento” in his ear.
Mr Key is an avid fan of the All Blacks, a frequent attendee at their games and a regular, potently encouraging presence in their dressing room.
He just sneaks in to gaze at Dan Carter in his jockeys.
This is a political stratagem of astounding brilliance. For if the All Blacks win the World Cup on October 20, 2011, New Zealanders will be in such a state of euphoria that National will stroll over the line in early in November.
If John is betting the entire election on the All Blacks winning the Rugby World Cup, that must be why he has promised Richie McCaw a Knighthood, if the All Blacks win 
November 5th, 2009 at 8:36 am
My pet name for John Key is Jandle,
it’s South African for flip flop!
November 5th, 2009 at 8:41 am
Garth’s to late didn’t Danyl marry John in the jacuzzi yesterday?
November 5th, 2009 at 8:48 am
I’m not so good with big words, but isn’t a perverse pleasure at how outraged the writers of the Standard and Red Alert are reading that column, the very definition of schadenfreude?
November 5th, 2009 at 8:54 am
Tim; “schadenfreude?” = the mandate of the lefty blog pits Standard and Red Alert.
November 5th, 2009 at 8:54 am
“It comes as no surprise that John Key and National remain top of the political pops a year into their reign. That’s pretty much all down to Mr Key, ”
Bollocks, he forgot the contributions of Clark Cullen and whathisname… leader of the labour party, Fred or something wasn’t it?
Meh who can remember.
November 5th, 2009 at 8:56 am
God help National if the Blacks don’t make it to the finals.
November 5th, 2009 at 9:00 am
Hahahaha! I can’t believe the headline either, shit. If Garth doesn’t actually want to marry, maybe he could just start a cult?
November 5th, 2009 at 9:00 am
John Key already had his triumph earlier this year:
http://img2.scoop.co.nz/stories/images/0811/1a69aaed31e7b45ca130.jpeg
November 5th, 2009 at 9:00 am
garth george was on the panel on nat-rad the other day..
part of the format of the show..is where the host asks the panellists ‘what’s on your mind..?’
(which you’d think guests would be prepared for..eh..?..this is the bit where ‘they earn their pay’..as it were..)
but for the second time in a row…george just blew the host off..
the time before he had answered with ‘hair’….as being what is on his mind..
thereby leaving host hanging..(‘dead-air-alert!’..)
(he also on that occaison proclaimed loudly/proudly..
that since 9/11…he had watched read no other news..save for the hour and a half he spends each day reading the front section of the herald..(!)
(he must be quite a slow reader..eh..?..)
this time his answer was simple and to the point..
‘nothing’..
(he did a sorta mumbled follow-up about age meaning there was nothing in his head..)
this time the host was more prepared..and moved quickly to the other guest..
now..i tell you all this..’cos i am amazed by the proud/willfull ignorance of ‘what is happening’..of the george..
i found his dropping the nat-rad host in the water..twice in a row..’funny’ in a radio ‘do’s and don’ts kinda way..
and that we really must consider the source of this hymn of praise to key..
(and yep..!..’boy-crush’ is pretty much on the money..)
this evaluation/praise is coming from a mind..steeped (for many years) in (only) the front section of the herald..
and that contains..(in the words of the owner..’cos of age;..)..
..’nothing’…
phil(whoar.co.nz)
November 5th, 2009 at 9:00 am
Well Garth is in because Rodney’s asking for a divorce.
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10607375
Of course Key is ‘relaxed’ about it.
November 5th, 2009 at 9:23 am
I propose 10 apis bulls be slaughtered to honour our Great leader on his anniversary
Steps should be taken to find a site for a suitable mausoleum . it may be too early , but construction would take some decades
November 5th, 2009 at 10:24 am
I was going to suggest putting ten ACT party members to the sword, but now that ACT has become the entitled party is there ten party members left ?
November 5th, 2009 at 11:01 am
I do not like Key gambling so much on the All Blacks.
I was there amongst the flour bombs to see Hewson get that final penalty kick in 1981, which I believe did more for the National Party than any army of protesters could ever do. But if that kick had veered away then I believe we would have had “a shiver looking for a spine to run up” as prime minister.
John Key; do not bet too highly on the All Blacks.
November 5th, 2009 at 11:18 am
Hole the election BEFORE the final. If the All Blacks lose the doom and gloom would be too much.
November 5th, 2009 at 11:57 am
Also one slave to be supplied to whisper “Respica te, hominem te memento” in his ear.
Didn’t Rodney just apologise for attempting something very much like that?
November 5th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
I bet he’s glad he’s not been compare to Mac Daddy now.
November 5th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
Wtf are you on? there’s no post on this at the standard.
November 5th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
The writers’ll read it though. Well…some of them.
November 5th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
black paul (3) Vote: 0 0 Says:
November 5th, 200
oohhh speak of the devil…a strandardnite surfaces…
November 5th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
Leeches, black paul, leeches for Gods sake before it’s too late!!
November 5th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
None of this will matter until he can do something about unemployment. Unlike Australia ours continues to spike up. 16,000 last quarter plus Rodneys 700 Auckland council workers next year.
November 5th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
What’s a strandardnite? Sounds like a long walk in the dark.
On the subject of words, there are quite a few words to describe deriving pleasure from something that’s only happening in your imagination, but “schadenfreude” isn’t one of them.
November 5th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
MikeNZ – Jandal is also Kiwi for flip flop. Note the spelling. It comes from combining the words Japanese and sandal.
November 5th, 2009 at 9:42 pm
I well remember poor old Garth waxing lyrical about one Helen Clark before and after her election win over Jenny.
But when he turns, oh boy, he turns.
Right now he’s turned for Key.
We could say he’s a turnkey
November 5th, 2009 at 10:07 pm
garth and john up a
tree, em ay ess tee you arr bee
aye tee eye enn gee
November 6th, 2009 at 12:24 am
I find it staggering people pay Garth George to write for a living, I’d gladly pay twice as much for my herald if they ensured it was “Garth free”…