A poor call by the ACT staffer, must have been a nous-free day. It’s the sort of thing you might say to a group of friends but to post it on Facebook – hello, kind of dumb.

All’s fair in love, war and politics as the saying goes.

I include Maori in my definition of kiwi.

Her soul arrives in heaven and she is shocked to be met by Phil Goff. “Welcome to Heaven,” says Goff. “St Peter is on sabbatical and he asked me to fill in for him.”

Slightly taken aback, the woman nods. “Now, being a democratic type I don’t like this whole top-down decision-making thing St Peter has imposed,” Goff says, “so I’ve implemented a new system. You get to see heaven and hell, then you can choose where you want to spend eternity”.

“Isn’t that a bit presumptuous?” asks the voter. “Well,” replies Goff, “if my time on earth taught me one thing, it’s that I don’t stay in the top job for very long so I’d better try and change things as quickly as I can.”

“Okay,” says the voter. “So, show me around.”

Goff escorts her to the elevator and she goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and she finds herself on the edge of a pristine forest. In the distance some people are working at jobs they clearly enjoy, while others – obviously just finished work – are counting vast piles of money and buying whatever they want. Everyone seems well fed and happy. The only noise to be heard is the twittering of birds and a faint piece of classical music carried on the breeze.

Goff seats her at a table and she is offered lobster, champagne and caviar. Also present is the Devil, who really is very friendly, appears extremely knowledgeable and reassures the voter that her every need will be personally met by Satan.

They are having such a good time that, before she realises it, it is time to go. Everyone gives her a big hug and waves while the elevator rises.

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven. So 24 hours pass with the voter joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before she realises it, the 24 hours have gone.

Then Goff says “Well then, you’ve spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity.” She reflects for a minute, then the voter answers: “Well, I would never have said it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell.”

So Goff escorts her to the elevator and she goes down, down, down to Hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and she is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. People are dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. In the distance behind the smoke stacks is a WINZ office, with a laughing demon turning away the desperate poor.

The Devil has left for a job at the UN, and over the low moans of the populace the loudspeakers are booming with the whining drone of Charles Chauvel interspersed with the barely coherent rantings of Trevor Mallard.

“I don’t understand,” the voter says. “It was all so idyllic just yesterday!”

“Simple,” Goff replies. “Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted for us!”

Falloon would have good cause to talk to the PSA. That sounds like harassment.

23 percent of native forest still stands, that mean we cut and burnt down 77 percent.
I dont think we should intrude anymore on our ative forests, thats what will happen if we start mining th best three areas that are protected atm.

Buggerlugs”Hope you’re walking. Or those carbon offsets will be costing you a fortune.”
If you think its deisel in my deisel tank, dream again buddy!

Oh well; I’m pleased to report that my life has not been unduly affected by said ban

Some facts: Approx 25% of NZ is covered in Native Forest out of of 30% total Forest coverage

Murray, I dont particularly want to add creedence to menace’s post but where do you think all our farm & pasture came from? Do you think it was always like that? Do you think that Pinus Radiata is a Native species?

Mr Mallard then said that MPs receive tip offs all the time.

I responded that the issue was not about Mr Chauvel receiving tip-offs, but his judgement in using material like this as he had done in the past. I said that trying to score political points off a staffer’s facebook profile was a low blow, and Mr Chauvel’s use of it effectively was enabling facebook stalking.

Mr Mallard then deleted my message and banned me for three months. He claimed I had said something that if repeated, would see me banned for good. I’m not sure which point was so objectionable, as I haven’t had a response from Mr Mallard explaining how he took offence.

Hope you’re walking. Or those carbon offsets will be costing you a fortune.

and you came in flailing about.. with no sense of humour.

Well covered I thought

The production of meat is a bigger problem than cars, and i eat fuck all of it, yet am still strong enough to climb big mountains with my ABOVE AVERAGE SIZE MANS BODY.

And on this subject i do get angry yes, im sure i could bate you up a subject that would do the same to you but im not into attacking inderviduals and that typical right wing arse hole shit that goes on in here.

I wil go of the grid one day too mate, less money i pay for your standards that way, not that i pay fuck all for them as it is, mind you i keep onthe right side of the law at all times.

Or are you all just piss and wind?