Lighten up

November 24th, 2009 at 12:00 pm by David Farrar

really needs to lighten up sometimes. He proclaims journalism has hit a new low, as blogged about a chicken.

I’m with Big News on this. NRT fails to understand the difference between what a journalist writes for their newspaper, and what they may blog about. Audrey’s story was not published in the NZ Herald. Audrey has done hundreds of hard news political stories. A whimsical blog about an escaped chicken is not a low.

Personally I like press gallery blogs that give us a bit of a light hearted look behind the scenes. I thought Audrey;s blog was very funny. An extract:

The talk of Parliament today has not been Hone Harawira’s future, John Key’s boycott of the Dalai Lama, or Phil Goff ending the 20-year consensus on monetary policy.

What has the whole complex in a frenzy is a chicken on the loose – one I have just captured in image- but only my cellphone.

It is a Leghorn according to the chicken specialists in the Beehive in ministerial offices who have been emailing each other about it all day.

It was let loose a week ago with four other birds by some idiot protestor.

The others have been captured by the SPCA but the fourth one, nicknamed Tegel by the security guards, has eluded capture.

Having worked at Parliament, episodes like that would provide light relief.

Audrey also contributes some chicken crossing the road jokes:

John Key: I haven’t had any advice on that but I’m pretty relaxed about it crossing the road.

Phil Goff: I too have chickens and I know what a difficult decision it can be for chickens when it comes to crossing roads. Labour was perhaps too strict on chickens and we are re-examining our chicken policy, though it should be remembered that it is every chicken’s right to cross the road so long as it does not interfere in the rights of others.

Tariana Turia: In the spirit of manaakitanga, the Maori Party would like to offer a home to the chicken in our offices – after it crosses Bowen St – and its hapu.

Sue Kedgley: Leave it run free range on the mound and give the eggs to Bellamies.

Rodney Hide: Officials have estimated that 108.5 hours have been wasted by the public servants in Wellington gazing out of window onto Bowen St to see the chicken crossing the road. My colleague Heather Roy, the Minister of Consumer Affairs, will deal with it.

Heh, not bad.

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24 Responses to “Lighten up”

  1. slightlyrighty (2,475 comments) says:

    I am reminded of a school in the US where students let loose 3 goats in the school, having first numbered them by painting 1,2 and 4 on them respectively.

    They then watched in amusement as school staff spent all day trying to find goat number 3.

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  2. burt (8,275 comments) says:

    Journalism has hit a new low. There are journalists who publish their rantings via electronic mediums and although they don’t allow comments want to call themself a blog. It is muppets like NRT that pretend to be bloggers when all they really are is slightly tech savy, but still failed MSM style, journalists who can’t tollerate open debate.

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  3. andrei (2,664 comments) says:

    I don’t know about “chickens crossing the road jokes” but I do know about “chickens coming home to roost” and with Nationals foray into racial politics to advance left wing whackery at the expense of working New Zealanders expect them to do just that in the near future.

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  4. georgedarroch (317 comments) says:

    So a silly chicken story is more important than reporting on the progress of a $100 billion ETS?

    New Zealand newsmedia is a farce. Friends who visit NZ ask where the broadsheet newspaper is, and think that the television must be missing reception for the serious channel.

    The problem isn’t that there is some silly news. The problem is that it’s all a joke.

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  5. OECD rank 22 kiwi (2,752 comments) says:

    Looks like No Right Turn needs more red meat in his diet.

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  6. Repton (769 comments) says:

    @slightlyrighty: http://www.snopes.com/college/pranks/livestock.asp

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  7. Repton (769 comments) says:

    Journalism has hit a new low. There are journalists who publish their rantings via electronic mediums and although they don’t allow comments want to call themself a blog. It is muppets like NRT that pretend to be bloggers when all they really are is slightly tech savy, but still failed MSM style, journalists who can’t tollerate open debate.

    Idiot/Savant will probably cry himself to sleep when he learns that he doesn’t have your approval for calling himself a blogger.

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  8. Murray (8,847 comments) says:

    Why did the chicken cross the floor?

    Because the ETS legislation was bollocks.

    No its not funny at all is it. Examine that idea for a bit.

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  9. Chthoniid (2,047 comments) says:

    Piffle, he’s forgotten the Shrek-the-sheep story already.

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  10. tvb (4,430 comments) says:

    The Labour Party announcing its non policy on honest money is LESS newsworthy than a chicken around parliament. On Harawera we just know he will be back, a face saving formula needs to be found – no news there and John Key NOT meeting the Dala Lama – I think Key has spiked that story as well. But why should the Labour Party think their breaking of the 20 year consensus means anything at all. They simply do not matter.

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  11. Bevan (3,924 comments) says:

    Trevor Mallard: “If that f!&ken chicken crosses my path, I’ll knock its f!&ken ead off”

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  12. Komata (1,191 comments) says:

    And as for the watermelons (Sue Kedgely notwithstanding):

    ‘I (I mean we, as members of the green party of Ao -tea-roa New Zealand) will engage in a meaningful dialogue with the unfortunate avian (which does after all have as much right to live as any other creature in Ao-tea-roa New Zealand) in the hope that we might be able to persuade it not to embark on such a dangerous undertaking, but if it should insist on not altering its opinions and views (despite all the information which we will have given it in our attempt to help it see the error of its ways) we, in solidarity with all our avian friends on giaia, will. as a matter of principle, prostrate ourselves in front of it and beg it not to be so foolish, before staging a sit-down in the middle of Molesworth Street to ensure that it is in absolutely no danger as it makes its way across the road to where-ever on this rainbow planet it should want to go, with any small deposits that it should leave en-route being lovingly uplifted, taken home by pushbike and, after being put in an appropriate place, worshipped as a the living-manifestation of a most noble and wonderful creature’

    (subtext: if that wonderful, so very self-aware chicken doesn’t even want to actually cross the road (despite all our efforts) it will of course be ‘persuaded’ to do so – we can’t have undisciplined, thinking for themselves non-conformist chickens outside our control. And, once across the road, (come the revolution – oops – the next election), there will always be ‘the wall’)

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  13. Repton (769 comments) says:

    @Komata: There is a saying: “Brevity is the soul of wit.”

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  14. Komata (1,191 comments) says:

    Repton

    I agree totally – but have you ever actually come across a ‘brief’ ‘green?

    I sometimes wonder if they play some sort of ‘one-upmanship’ game at their gatherings (you know, who can say the most about the least. . )

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  15. Colonel Masters (409 comments) says:

    WRP: Look, sunshine, you know as well as I do, that this so-called chicken is a total and utter fabrication, brought about, if I may so, by some of the sloppiest journalism that this country has ever seen. There was no chicken. There is no chicken, and there will be no chicken. Get your facts straight!

    (moves to walk off)

    Soper: Is that your final word, Mr Peters?

    WRP: (turns around grinning) Oh come on Barry, you should know after all the years you’ve spent in this place that these chicken stories are a nonsense. And if you want to persist in this beat-up, I’ll be instructing my solicitors. Is that why Mr Sainsbury isn’t here today asking these questions?

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  16. Murray (8,847 comments) says:

    They have to all talk at once Komata for fear if they stop and listen they might actually hear what the others are saying.

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  17. georgedarroch (317 comments) says:

    Why did the chicken cross the floor?

    Because the ETS legislation was bollocks.

    That was actually pretty good.

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  18. Sean (301 comments) says:

    Jim Anderton: Its time that we had a wholly New Zealand-owned chicken, run for the benefit of all New Zealanders.

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  19. burt (8,275 comments) says:

    The chicken never crossed the road, NRT just said it did and we all came to DPF’s blog to argue about it.

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  20. francis (712 comments) says:

    I really enjoyed that blog from Audrey – but it was the phonecam cap the made it :) great stuff!

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  21. side show bob (3,660 comments) says:

    A chicken at parliament, would not an ostrich be a more fitting mascot.

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  22. Tassman (234 comments) says:

    Why did dd chicken cross da road? Heh heh hehe, to get a battery..
    At least while it’s getting battered, the citizens are relieved from their usual bashing heh heh heh heh
    You know it’s not ok to abuse your citizens….

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  23. NZTed (38 comments) says:

    Winston Peters: “Here’s the facts. That chicken’s been laying more local eggs than those who frequent the Green Parrot”
    Hone Harawira: “Cook your own damn eggs and stop raping parliamentary grounds you white feathered mother@#%!@% chicken”
    Helen Clark: “Hey Phil, PwNeD! All your chickens belong to me.”
    Twyford: “A chicken by any other electorate would lay the same eggs”

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  24. James (1,338 comments) says:

    Why did the pervert cross the road?

    His dick was stuck in the chicken.

    ;-)

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