Bullshit Names
Staff at Remarkables Primary School are set to adopt some remarkable job titles when it opens next year.
Teachers will be known as “expedition leaders”, while the school receptionist will become the “director of first impressions”.
Oh God.
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December 9th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
I used to be a data entry operator at Inland Revenue. My job title was “Revenue Assessment Officer”.
December 9th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
In my day “expedition leaders” kept order with the cane and for serious offences a boy would removed from the “learning pod” and sent to the “learning community leaders cave” for a thrashing.
They didn’t have 45 million dollar Positive behaviour plans for schools in those dark days and had to make do with the limited resources they had on hand.
December 9th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
Will the Janitor become a ‘Fellow For Fixing F***ups’?
December 9th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
Quick, pass the bucket!! er, I mean the happy, handy receptacle.
December 9th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
Who is going to be the minister for silly walks for the love of god!
December 9th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
Phil Goff – Leader of the Opposition
December 9th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
Phil Goff – “Expedition” Leader of the Opposition
December 9th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
Looks like the influence of Tim Shadbolt here.
December 9th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA morons.
my kids are so going to private school when i have them.
December 9th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
what a loat of Sanitation Engineering
December 9th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
The report doesn’t actually make it clear if Christian or first names are to be used as well or not
December 9th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
This is of course PC krap inpired by the location at the foot of the Remarkables.
Once again it leaves the kids of South Auckland with little to look up to
December 9th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
I’m sure you intended to say ‘Oh Good’ and missed out an ‘o’.
Seriously. Do you have a specific objection or are you just in picky mood?
December 9th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
The receptionists at F&P Healthcare have been Directors of First Impressions since ages ago…
December 9th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
I’m sure he didn’t.
December 9th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
More PC bull – no doubt to make the little ‘darlings’ feel more up to date rather than having to refer to teachers as, well, teachers.
Last week we had a principal promoting pupils calling the teacher by their Christian name, and now this.
There seems to be the continual push to deny our past; even the good stuff, and move evermore into the more ‘enlightened’ future. Of course the kids seem to be the ones whom this stuff is directed at – no surprises there!
More progressive crap!
December 9th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
At least it will bring the into line with the “petroleum transfer technicians” and the “grocery ex-filtration facilitators” and the “Burger assembly technicians”.
December 9th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
Where the hell are the parents?, if this is not an issue that makes them storm the chief expedition leaders office then nothing will.
December 9th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
I had a job at the New Plymouth Museum one summer. The title was—I kid you not—Student and/or fixed-term part-time ticket ripper.
Say what you like about the New Plymouth District Council: they sure don’t mess around with “self-esteem-booster” job titles.
December 9th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
That would be “make an unsheduled large scale visitation to discuss issues of mutual missunderstanding” BB.
December 9th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Leonidas – what’s a “grocery ex-filtration facilitator”, I can’t work that one out…
December 9th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
Checkout operator. I should have written it as exfiltrate, being the opposite if infiltrate
December 9th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
Um, yeah, it’s crap, but I can’t see why it’s “PC”. That would be supposing it was not PC to call teachers “teachers”.
December 9th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
Time for some serious increase in cannabis raids in that area!
December 9th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
I think it’s amusing and there’s nothing wrong with it. Sounds like fun, really.
A teacher by any other name would spell as inaccurately?
December 9th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
What a load of bollocks. But so long as the teaching is up to scratch (and no-one seems to be suggesting it isn’t) WHO CARES?
I don’t really believe this is the fourth horseman of the PC apocalypse.
December 9th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
“PC” is code for “It’s different and I don’t like it”.
December 9th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
And there’s me thinking all this time it was short for “politically correct”.
Besides, what’s “different” about being called a teacher?
December 9th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
Are you sure you’re on the right website?
December 9th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
I doubt the kids will actually appreciate this. They have pretty good bullshit filters that they don’t lose till they grow up, go out in the world, join the workforce, and find they have to sit in meetings where this type of crap is spouted every day.
I generally refuse to attend meetings (and the looks of abject horror mixed with uncompreheding disbelief, as though I’d just said I’d shagged a donkey on their boardroom table, are something to behold) because so much time is wasted with such nonsense.
But those who are forced to attend such things and listen to this crap get spouted sit there like the crowd watching the Emperor parade by, knowing he’s stark naked but no one willing to be the little boy who points it out.
When a teacher walks in a class and says “I’m your expedition leader” the kids will fall about laughing. When some CEO walks into a boardroom and says it (and trust me, one will any day now) the staff will politely applaud.
And thus we synergise the communication of diversified team leaders so as to achieve the key performance indicator of adequate sustenance durinmg mandated downtime (aka we listen to this bullshit so we can afford to buy our lunch).
December 9th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
With titles like that they’ll be demanding an increase in wages and director salaries!
December 9th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
“Besides, what’s “different” about being called a teacher?”
Teacher; is a Victorian anachronism which reflects the male dominated school environment designed to repress the student and consign them to a future on the factory floor…it doesn’t fit well for New Zealand’s glittering hight-tech future in a post ETS world
December 9th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
oh yeah, everyone knows that.
You’re having us on right?
December 9th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
Simon says originated from Latin, the Latin version was “Cicero dicit fac hoc”. This means “Cicero says do this”. Cicero was a famous ancient philosopher, statesman, lawyer, political theorist, and Roman constitutionalist.
A recent psychological study found that the game can be a healthy way to help children to improve self-control and restraint of impulsive behavior.
The game exists in a number of non-English speaking countries. for example: in Japanese, “Kongen befaler” (“the king commands”) in Norwegian, “Kapteeni käskee” (“the captain commands”) in Finnish, “老師話” (“the teacher says”) in Cantonese – ‘the teacher says”? – oh, shit – we’ve gone full circle.
December 9th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
School is Greek for free time. With an education like this i see a lot of “free time” in some peoples future.
December 9th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
I wouldn’t be suprised to hear in the future that some of the expeditioners are being forced to touch the expedition leaders “pleasure apendage”.
December 9th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
Le Grande Fromage (67) Says: I wouldn’t be suprised to hear in the future that some of the expeditioners are being forced to touch the expedition leaders “pleasure apendage”.
Serious allegations. Quoted for 5.02am reference.
December 9th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
So when do the expedition leaders find out what planet they are on?
December 9th, 2009 at 6:03 pm
Hey Llew…yes I’m having you on…the tragedy is, they’re serious FFS
December 9th, 2009 at 9:19 pm
Next thing our prisons will be going down the same path.
It’s not a prison, it’s a Readjustment and Reflection Pod, and Wardens shall be referred to as Directors of Lasting Impressions.
Showering will still be called Time to Share the Love, though.
December 9th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
When growing up, our next door neighbour said that he worked at the garbalogical gardens… he drove a bulldozer at the tip!
December 10th, 2009 at 6:15 am
Cash-strapped, pommie-from-Doncaster-managed Nelson Marlborough Institute of Technology now has, I kid you not, a “Learning Journey Manager”. Your tax dollars hard at work….just for bureaucrats.
Seriously you can’t make this shite up.