Peter the Xmas Elf Caption Contest
Enter your captions below. As usual, funny not nasty.
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58 Responses to “Peter the Xmas Elf Caption Contest”
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December 5th, 2009 at 7:25 pm
That’s no elf. It’s Grumpy the Dwarf from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Where are the others? Oh, I know Happy was at the cricket.
December 5th, 2009 at 7:28 pm
That’ll teach me for not reading the fine print on the coalition agreement!!!
December 5th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
Well it’s not the prime ministers chair, or the speakers chair, or even the finance ministers chair, but it will do….. for now
December 5th, 2009 at 7:58 pm
What? This? This is what John Key said I had to do to get a Cabinet position. I hope he isn’t lying this time.
December 5th, 2009 at 8:04 pm
If I just push a little harder, who brought the loo paper.
December 5th, 2009 at 8:05 pm
Poor possum Pete should consult a shrink, as he looks like he is suffering bad from low elf esteem.
December 5th, 2009 at 8:07 pm
What’s that John? You’ll wipe my $58,000 debt from 2005 if I wear this outfit?
Done.
December 5th, 2009 at 8:10 pm
dunne tries on his leaders’ outfit..
for his new medieval-party..
phil(whoar.co.nz)
December 5th, 2009 at 8:12 pm
dunne tries out a new facade..
phil(whoar.co.nz)
December 5th, 2009 at 8:14 pm
dunne:..”..mm!!..wollen tights..!”
phil(whoar.co.nz)
December 5th, 2009 at 8:14 pm
Global recession forces a lower budget for filming of The Hobbit.
December 5th, 2009 at 8:16 pm
dunne:..’if that knight thinks he’s going to ride me..!”
phil(whoar.co.nz)
December 5th, 2009 at 8:16 pm
At last in the right party. All our polices suit this party and its the first chance for me to out myself. Always loved being a friend of the fairies.
December 5th, 2009 at 8:19 pm
dunne:..’this medieval longdrop leaves a bit to be desired..”
phil(whoar.co.nz)
December 5th, 2009 at 8:20 pm
I’m Dunne and out
December 5th, 2009 at 8:20 pm
dunne:..’what a guy has to do to get an invite to keys’ xmas bash..”
phil(whoar.co.nz)
December 5th, 2009 at 8:22 pm
dunne:..’oh no..!..here comes brownlee..!..dressed like a fairy princess..!”
phil(whoar.co.nz)
December 5th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
dunne:..”if that frog fingers me again..i’m gonna crack him one..!”
phil(whoar.co.nz)
December 5th, 2009 at 8:25 pm
dunne:..”rams’ balls dumplings for lunch..!”..
phil(whoar.co.nz)
December 5th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
Pay your child support or Father Christmas will get you.
December 5th, 2009 at 9:14 pm
“I’m going to find the dirty rotten bastard who organised this fucking fiasco and stick my bleeding piles where his sun doesn’t shine. What do you mean, in a nice, sensible, egalitarian and finely considered way? “
December 5th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
Peter was finally convinced to get a hearing aid after an embarassing situation arising from a telephone call offering him the job of “Health Minister”
December 5th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
“See my clothes – Green Red and Blue. So offer me a portfilio and I’ll vote with you”
December 5th, 2009 at 9:51 pm
D4J: “low elf esteem” I LOLed
“I knew the qualification for a reindeer was a red nose… but who knew the entry requirements for an elf was a brown one?!”
December 5th, 2009 at 9:58 pm
Don we now our gay apparel,
fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la.
December 5th, 2009 at 10:55 pm
Puritanical white mofo colonialist elf.
December 5th, 2009 at 11:07 pm
Anyone heard of the Tiger Woods Index (TWI)? Note related to the jokes above. This index is quite cool. It’s a Google-derived measure of what people are interested in vs what the MSM think should be interesting.
It’s essentially a ratio, calculated by taking the general Google hit count for a term, and dividing it my the number of News site hits for the same term. Here are some examples:
1. “David Farrar” kiwiblog: 79,200 – 1 = 79,200 !!!
2. Climategate: 28,400,000 – 2,930 = 9693
3. Afghanistan: 143,000,000 – 154,145 = 928
4. Obama: 202,000,000 – 252,583 = 800
5. Tiger Woods: 22,500,000 – 46,025 = 489
6. Gordon Brown: 12,300,000 – 37,021 = 332
7. Climate change: 22,200,000 – 68,419 = 324
8. Sally Bercow: 25,000 – 86 = 290
9. John Key: 201,000 – 1420 = 142
10. David Cameron: 545,000 – 4837 = 113
The higher the ratio, the less the MSM think the topic is important. The lower it is the more it’s being pushed by the [online] MSM. Not sure what measuing stick Google uses to determing which sites are searched for ‘news’, but this index is kinda interesting regardless.
December 5th, 2009 at 11:11 pm
.. ooops. Wrong thread. Sorry.
December 5th, 2009 at 11:18 pm
When I asked to be rid of the fools, I meant the phool whoar
Not dunne whore
December 6th, 2009 at 12:50 am
I’ve rocked back and forward, and I still can’t break the suction. Bugger.
December 6th, 2009 at 1:17 am
United future flip-flops on policy to ban hero parade?
December 6th, 2009 at 1:58 am
Where’s my assistant! I said Robin Hood – not a frickin elf. The Minister for Inland Revenue should dress as Robin Hood!!
December 6th, 2009 at 6:37 am
“Wow these herbal party pills really do work!”
December 6th, 2009 at 6:51 am
So how come I’m the only one that turned up for the United Future caucus fancy-dress Christmas party? Oh, that’s right ……
December 6th, 2009 at 7:13 am
“Holy shit! That’s the last time I do mushrooms with the Dalai Lama!”
December 6th, 2009 at 7:17 am
If mummy dresses me like this anymore I’m just going to scream.
December 6th, 2009 at 7:21 am
“I hate my hair being flattened like this.”
(BTW I wouldn’t have recognised him)
December 6th, 2009 at 7:24 am
“Hi-de-hi little boys and girls. Come in and take your clothes…I mean coats off.”
December 6th, 2009 at 7:39 am
“Well, Key got to be Santa cos he gets to hand out all the lollies”
December 6th, 2009 at 7:40 am
Now, where the hell is that money machine at the bottom of the garden?
December 6th, 2009 at 7:57 am
I steal from the general population and give to the rich. It is called carbon tax.
December 6th, 2009 at 8:26 am
“At least I can claim this costume on MP expenses”.
December 6th, 2009 at 8:33 am
“I am Gaia, goddess of destruction. Present your children for de-carbonisation.”
December 6th, 2009 at 9:52 am
Bloody piles!
December 6th, 2009 at 10:52 am
“No, no, no. I borrowed this outfit from Nick Smith.”
December 6th, 2009 at 10:53 am
Guess who has been put in charge of ‘Elf an Safety. He’s been Dunne up like a kipper, or Arbroath Smokie.
December 6th, 2009 at 11:24 am
Climate scientist to ride to Carbonhagen to rescue earth.
December 6th, 2009 at 11:41 am
Peter Dune Finds Second Job to Pay for MP Expenses
December 6th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
Little boy: “Mummy that elf looks funny. What’s wrong with him?”
Mother: “Its not an elf darling. Its a parasitic byproduct of the MMP system in the form of a desperate politician from a very minor party. Do you remember what your father told you to do if you see one?”
Little boy: “Yes mummy. Ignore it and it will eventually go away to die quietly on a gold plated parliamentary pension with perks.”
Mother: That’s right. Good boy. Now who is the donkey this year in the nativity scene? On no, don’t look dear…its Phil Goff.”
December 6th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Would post this under GD if there was one today <a href="http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/bdwViyLPQrjfuA1A"Merry Xmas from JK".
December 6th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
Sorry, stuffed up the link. Just copy and paste the bit in the quotes your browser address bar.
December 6th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
The new Elf Minister, finally! A position with some respect!
December 6th, 2009 at 5:38 pm
The new minister for Elf and Safety inspects ARTA’s latest open wagon.
December 7th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
I’m gonna sack that bloody press secretary… I said put out a release on my human genome quote, not put me in fleece on a firkin Gnome float!
December 7th, 2009 at 6:35 pm
It aint easy being Green when Turai sits on your face
December 7th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
This isn’t the fence…
December 7th, 2009 at 6:44 pm
RRM – that 2x +ve’s from me in a day. Sheesh!
December 7th, 2009 at 6:50 pm
getstaffed – discussing politics can be fun AND productive when people aren’t slagging each other off in some kind of ongoing, juvenile flame war…