Peter the Xmas Elf Caption Contest

December 5th, 2009 at 7:20 pm by David Farrar

Dunne The Christmas Elf

Enter your captions below. As usual, funny not nasty.

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58 Responses to “Peter the Xmas Elf Caption Contest”

  1. Rod (180 comments) says:

    That’s no elf. It’s Grumpy the Dwarf from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Where are the others? Oh, I know Happy was at the cricket.

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  2. slightlyrighty (2,475 comments) says:

    That’ll teach me for not reading the fine print on the coalition agreement!!!

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  3. littlebluedroid (22 comments) says:

    Well it’s not the prime ministers chair, or the speakers chair, or even the finance ministers chair, but it will do….. for now

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  4. Hurf Durf (2,860 comments) says:

    What? This? This is what John Key said I had to do to get a Cabinet position. I hope he isn’t lying this time.

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  5. Gooner (995 comments) says:

    If I just push a little harder, who brought the loo paper.

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  6. dad4justice (8,302 comments) says:

    Poor possum Pete should consult a shrink, as he looks like he is suffering bad from low elf esteem.

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  7. Gooner (995 comments) says:

    What’s that John? You’ll wipe my $58,000 debt from 2005 if I wear this outfit?

    Done.

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  8. philu (13,393 comments) says:

    dunne tries on his leaders’ outfit..

    for his new medieval-party..

    phil(whoar.co.nz)

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  9. philu (13,393 comments) says:

    dunne tries out a new facade..

    phil(whoar.co.nz)

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  10. philu (13,393 comments) says:

    dunne:..”..mm!!..wollen tights..!”

    phil(whoar.co.nz)

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  11. noskire (842 comments) says:

    Global recession forces a lower budget for filming of The Hobbit.

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  12. philu (13,393 comments) says:

    dunne:..’if that knight thinks he’s going to ride me..!”

    phil(whoar.co.nz)

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  13. Blue Coast (165 comments) says:

    At last in the right party. All our polices suit this party and its the first chance for me to out myself. Always loved being a friend of the fairies.

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  14. philu (13,393 comments) says:

    dunne:..’this medieval longdrop leaves a bit to be desired..”

    phil(whoar.co.nz)

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  15. Fisiani (1,047 comments) says:

    I’m Dunne and out

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  16. philu (13,393 comments) says:

    dunne:..’what a guy has to do to get an invite to keys’ xmas bash..”

    phil(whoar.co.nz)

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  17. philu (13,393 comments) says:

    dunne:..’oh no..!..here comes brownlee..!..dressed like a fairy princess..!”

    phil(whoar.co.nz)

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  18. philu (13,393 comments) says:

    dunne:..”if that frog fingers me again..i’m gonna crack him one..!”

    phil(whoar.co.nz)

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  19. philu (13,393 comments) says:

    dunne:..”rams’ balls dumplings for lunch..!”..

    phil(whoar.co.nz)

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  20. Political Busker (231 comments) says:

    Pay your child support or Father Christmas will get you.

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  21. noodle (151 comments) says:

    “I’m going to find the dirty rotten bastard who organised this fucking fiasco and stick my bleeding piles where his sun doesn’t shine. What do you mean, in a nice, sensible, egalitarian and finely considered way? “

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  22. Put it away (2,880 comments) says:

    Peter was finally convinced to get a hearing aid after an embarassing situation arising from a telephone call offering him the job of “Health Minister”

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  23. getstaffed (9,186 comments) says:

    “See my clothes – Green Red and Blue. So offer me a portfilio and I’ll vote with you”

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  24. Rex Widerstrom (5,354 comments) says:

    D4J: “low elf esteem” I LOLed :-D

    “I knew the qualification for a reindeer was a red nose… but who knew the entry requirements for an elf was a brown one?!”

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  25. Fletch (6,479 comments) says:

    Don we now our gay apparel,
    fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la.

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  26. Peter (1,723 comments) says:

    Puritanical white mofo colonialist elf.

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  27. getstaffed (9,186 comments) says:

    Anyone heard of the Tiger Woods Index (TWI)? Note related to the jokes above. This index is quite cool. It’s a Google-derived measure of what people are interested in vs what the MSM think should be interesting.

    It’s essentially a ratio, calculated by taking the general Google hit count for a term, and dividing it my the number of News site hits for the same term. Here are some examples:

    1. “David Farrar” kiwiblog: 79,200 – 1 = 79,200 !!!
    2. Climategate: 28,400,000 – 2,930 = 9693
    3. Afghanistan: 143,000,000 – 154,145 = 928
    4. Obama: 202,000,000 – 252,583 = 800
    5. Tiger Woods: 22,500,000 – 46,025 = 489
    6. Gordon Brown: 12,300,000 – 37,021 = 332
    7. Climate change: 22,200,000 – 68,419 = 324
    8. Sally Bercow: 25,000 – 86 = 290
    9. John Key: 201,000 – 1420 = 142
    10. David Cameron: 545,000 – 4837 = 113

    The higher the ratio, the less the MSM think the topic is important. The lower it is the more it’s being pushed by the [online] MSM. Not sure what measuing stick Google uses to determing which sites are searched for ‘news’, but this index is kinda interesting regardless.

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  28. getstaffed (9,186 comments) says:

    .. ooops. Wrong thread. Sorry.

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  29. pentwig (240 comments) says:

    When I asked to be rid of the fools, I meant the phool whoar

    Not dunne whore

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  30. Rich Prick (1,719 comments) says:

    I’ve rocked back and forward, and I still can’t break the suction. Bugger.

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  31. Sam (502 comments) says:

    Where’s my assistant! I said Robin Hood – not a frickin elf. The Minister for Inland Revenue should dress as Robin Hood!!

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  32. Robert Black (423 comments) says:

    “Wow these herbal party pills really do work!”

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  33. Inventory2 (10,398 comments) says:

    So how come I’m the only one that turned up for the United Future caucus fancy-dress Christmas party? Oh, that’s right ……

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  34. Robert Black (423 comments) says:

    “Holy shit! That’s the last time I do mushrooms with the Dalai Lama!”

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  35. Michaels (1,318 comments) says:

    If mummy dresses me like this anymore I’m just going to scream.

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  36. Pete George (23,676 comments) says:

    “I hate my hair being flattened like this.”

    (BTW I wouldn’t have recognised him)

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  37. Robert Black (423 comments) says:

    “Hi-de-hi little boys and girls. Come in and take your clothes…I mean coats off.”

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  38. Andrew W (1,629 comments) says:

    “Well, Key got to be Santa cos he gets to hand out all the lollies”

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  39. Adolf Fiinkensein (2,913 comments) says:

    Now, where the hell is that money machine at the bottom of the garden?

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  40. Simon (757 comments) says:

    I steal from the general population and give to the rich. It is called carbon tax.

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  41. OECD rank 22 kiwi (2,753 comments) says:

    “At least I can claim this costume on MP expenses”.

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  42. OECD rank 22 kiwi (2,753 comments) says:

    “I am Gaia, goddess of destruction. Present your children for de-carbonisation.”

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  43. alex Masterley (1,523 comments) says:

    Bloody piles!

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  44. Manolo (14,018 comments) says:

    “No, no, no. I borrowed this outfit from Nick Smith.”

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  45. Guy Fawkes (702 comments) says:

    Guess who has been put in charge of ‘Elf an Safety. He’s been Dunne up like a kipper, or Arbroath Smokie.

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  46. Simon (757 comments) says:

    Climate scientist to ride to Carbonhagen to rescue earth.

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  47. DRHILL (121 comments) says:

    Peter Dune Finds Second Job to Pay for MP Expenses

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  48. Richard Hurst (868 comments) says:

    Little boy: “Mummy that elf looks funny. What’s wrong with him?”

    Mother: “Its not an elf darling. Its a parasitic byproduct of the MMP system in the form of a desperate politician from a very minor party. Do you remember what your father told you to do if you see one?”

    Little boy: “Yes mummy. Ignore it and it will eventually go away to die quietly on a gold plated parliamentary pension with perks.”

    Mother: That’s right. Good boy. Now who is the donkey this year in the nativity scene? On no, don’t look dear…its Phil Goff.”

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  49. noskire (842 comments) says:

    Would post this under GD if there was one today <a href="http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/bdwViyLPQrjfuA1A"Merry Xmas from JK".

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  50. noskire (842 comments) says:

    Sorry, stuffed up the link. Just copy and paste the bit in the quotes your browser address bar.

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  51. kaya (1,360 comments) says:

    The new Elf Minister, finally! A position with some respect!

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  52. AndyC (28 comments) says:

    The new minister for Elf and Safety inspects ARTA’s latest open wagon.

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  53. Dolan (4 comments) says:

    I’m gonna sack that bloody press secretary… I said put out a release on my human genome quote, not put me in fleece on a firkin Gnome float!

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  54. Dirty Rat (504 comments) says:

    It aint easy being Green when Turai sits on your face

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  55. RRM (10,001 comments) says:

    This isn’t the fence…

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  56. getstaffed (9,186 comments) says:

    RRM – that 2x +ve’s from me in a day. Sheesh!

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  57. RRM (10,001 comments) says:

    getstaffed – discussing politics can be fun AND productive when people aren’t slagging each other off in some kind of ongoing, juvenile flame war…

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