Mother: “Its not an elf darling. Its a parasitic byproduct of the MMP system in the form of a desperate politician from a very minor party. Do you remember what your father told you to do if you see one?”

Little boy: “Yes mummy. Ignore it and it will eventually go away to die quietly on a gold plated parliamentary pension with perks.”

Mother: That’s right. Good boy. Now who is the donkey this year in the nativity scene? On no, don’t look dear…its Phil Goff.”