Two bits of amusement

March 24th, 2010 at 10:04 am by David Farrar

The Herald reports:

Mallard cleverly tricked National MPs into not objecting to leave for a motion congratulating Tertiary Education Minister for getting his degree some two decades ago.

It was very amusing. The Govt did drop the ball on this one, and Labour deserved their fun.

The actual motion moved was to congratulate Steven Joyce on getting his degree conferred 21 years after he started it.

The is in fine form with its version of the Government’s mining policy:

  • Amendment to Crown Minerals Act prohibits Energy Minister Gerry Brownlee from yelling ‘I’d like to open up her schedule four’ whenever an attractive aide enters the Cabinet room.
  • Streamlined process for consents to make it easier for everyday New Zealanders to operate their own open pit cast mines or surgically excavate their back yards.
  • State Services Commission enquiry to find out who keeps adding ‘unobtanium’ to the list of rare minerals detected in Mt Aspiring.

  • $4 million dollars for extensive exploration of Coromandal focusing on area where lost his beloved teddy-bear ‘Mister Wookie’ while on a day walk as a child.

The Mister Wookie one especially just cracks me up.

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24 Responses to “Two bits of amusement”

  1. Dirty Rat (504 comments) says:

    It was the funniest thing I had seen in ages.

    The look on Gerrys face was priceless

    http://www.stuff.co.nz/blogs/opinion/columnists/3498039/Sporting-Joyce-proves-the-value-of-his-time-spent-studying-animal-behaviour

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  2. big bruv (12,328 comments) says:

    At eight thousand dollars a minute to run the crèche that is Parliament I would think that these arrogant wankers might bury their sense of entitlement for a while and get on with running the fucking country.

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  3. Dirty Rat (504 comments) says:

    maybe we should get rid of MMP Big Bruv, go back to First Past the Post.

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  4. Murray (8,835 comments) says:

    Ho ho ho yes yes this is highly fucking amusing on our dime.

    Has Mallard not heard that freeloaders are going to made to get jobs or what? AS bb said thats an expensive fucking joke DPF. Maybe if you and out politicaisn didn’t treat our politcal system as some kind of juvenile game of one up man ship we might be less unipressed with this sort of bullshit school yard behaviour. (Appologies to actual schoolyard bullies for comparing you to politicians)

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  5. big bruv (12,328 comments) says:

    “maybe we should get rid of MMP Big Bruv, go back to First Past the Post.”

    Now you are talking Rat!

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  6. excusesofpuppets (133 comments) says:

    On our dime blah blah blah, grow up. Opposition is always going to try these things, if anything it made watching parliament entertaining yesterday.

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  7. Dirty Rat (504 comments) says:

    who would you support then Big Bruv ?

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  8. big bruv (12,328 comments) says:

    “who would you support then Big Bruv ”

    Ah!…..there is the fatal flaw in my argument.

    I could not vote for Labour

    I could not vote for Neville Key

    I could not vote for the idiot MP from Epsom and his mid life crisis.

    I can no longer vote for the Bill and Ben party….

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  9. Nigel (503 comments) says:

    Great idea FPP, gerrymandered electorates & pork barrel politics, awesome concept if you like that stuff. Personally I think it’s proponents either have short memories or are to young to remember how bad FPP really was in NZ.

    Mallard looked like all his Christmas’s had come at once, it was actually incredibly funny & they were pretty good jokes. Though his mouth is faster than his brain :).

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  10. Jeff83 (765 comments) says:

    Fricken hillerous. Also proof again that Lockwood Smith I would say is the greatest speaker of the house since way back when.

    As for wasting the houses time, when the opposition oppose most of the policies that in parliament at the moment they will try and use any way to delay their implementation.

    Are you applying your reasonings to what the Republicans have done in the US?

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  11. Jeff83 (765 comments) says:

    I can no longer vote for the Bill and Ben party….

    Heard they had a falling out with Family First.

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  12. MIKMS (163 comments) says:

    I totally support the venture to find Mr Brownlee’s Teddy bear “Mr Wookie” – we need to get the SIS on this at once regardless of expense :p

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  13. Murray (8,835 comments) says:

    fuck you excusesofpuppets if you think its somehow clever to piss away other peoples money. This not how our parliament has operated until comparatively recently. I have yet to see a single school group go it and observe without coming out and saying they weren’t allowed to behave like that.

    And it IS our dime you dipshit. We pay for it.

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  14. Adolf Fiinkensein (2,668 comments) says:

    I wonder how the illiterate and nasal Mallard himself would stack up to some academic investigation.

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  15. Dirty Rat (504 comments) says:

    Adolf.

    Mallard did, he stated that it was very close to his own, however, Mallard is not Minister of Tertiary Education, nor is he in line as the next Minister of Finance.

    Which was his point

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  16. Michaels (1,317 comments) says:

    Just like we paid for Labour’s fucking “bus trip” Murray!!!

    How many businessman (oh and fucking woman) sit around the board table taking the piss out of each other?
    I’ve never seen it happen, they are to busy getting on with business, and isn’t that what these dipshits are supposed to be doing???

    AND…. Although I don’t want to see a return of FPP, I’d rather see that than MMP. And if for no other reason but to get rid of the Greens.

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  17. Inventory2 (9,788 comments) says:

    Dirty Rat – you’re right. But you overlook the fact that if the government changed at 2pm today, Mallard would be the Minister of Education

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  18. peterwn (2,933 comments) says:

    Best one since ‘Kiwi’ Keith Holyoake’s honorary degree. A Students Association said that the Education Department should have given Keith an honorary School Certificate first. In fairness to the late Sir Keith, education opportunities then were not what they are now, and if he had today’s education opportunities (or even 1960′s opportunities) he would no doubt would have obtained School Certificate if not some higher qualification.

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  19. lyndon (330 comments) says:

    Which was his point

    There was the matter that Joyce might not have been allowed to mess around trying to work out what his degree was if funding was rigorously based on completed courses.

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  20. Dirty Rat (504 comments) says:

    I liked the bit about the numerous government night classes he took in that 21 year time frame.

    Nah, heads up to Joyce he took it in good stride, Lockwood was superb putting Garret and Gerry in their places,

    but Gerry Brownlee ….. ha ha ha h a ha the face of rage

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  21. Rex Widerstrom (5,124 comments) says:

    The DimPost is particularly brilliant… well done Danyl.

    As for Joyce… well geez, I went to university, found it an enormous w**k fll of enormous w**kers, and couldn’t wait for it all to end. When it did, I considered myself to have the qualification for which I’d studied and passed all the prerequisites.

    I thought the idea of putting on a cape (did one have to change in a phonebox and wear matching underpants on the outside, I wondered) to be an optional ceremony for the swotty blouses.

    Years later I received a snotty letter from the University asking, basically, “do you want this bloody thing or not?” and listing that years cape-wearing dates. They didn’t seem too happy when I said “put it in the mail” but I got it nonetheless. So now the scroll (which I lost years ago) reads something like “for study in X, was awarded in X + a whole lot of years…” and just serves to confuse everyone when they ask (on employment applications and the like) when I “earned” the qualification.

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  22. Dirty Rat (504 comments) says:

    Have to disagree, sorry Rex

    One of my regrets was not doing a graduation ceremony, having been at one with my partner.

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  23. Rex Widerstrom (5,124 comments) says:

    How come, Dirty Rat? I never liked school prizegivings and it all seemed very much like that, but with stupid costumes.

    I recall they forced me to remain at secondary school till the day UE was formally handed out even though I was due to start an RNZ announcer training course two days before. So of course when I was forced to parade up on stage to be handed a daft bit of paper I took the opportunity to tell them to stick it up their arse :-D

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  24. calendar girl (1,108 comments) says:

    I’m glad that you felt amused, DFP. It must be a beltway thing though, as many outsiders regard games involving Parliament’s archaic procedures as frivolous distractions from the serious business of governance.

    I regarded Mallard and Hughes yesterday as simply indulging in puerile attempts at humour. Their smugness and sense of intellectual superiority reminded me of Cullen. If their 30 minutes of buffonery had a redemming virtue, it was to confirm my relief that I no longer have to endure the arrogant Cullen’s presence in the house.

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