The penis is too large

April 18th, 2010 at 12:09 pm by David Farrar

The Waikato Times reports that Phillip Stevens thinks the pictured genitals are too large:

His nine-year-old son had noticed the carvings as they entered the garden. “He asked us `is that a penis?’,” said Mr Stevens. “It was pretty obvious what it was, but as you go on there’s one with big testicles, then there’s one holding it. We tried not to make too big a deal of it, and just told them it was a bit inappropriate.”

He said nude works from European art traditions would not offend him in the same way as the genitalia were of more natural proportions.

So the problem is not having genitals on the carving, but that they were out of proportion!

A definite case of showing that size does matter.

Tags: Fun Things

This entry was posted on Sunday, April 18th, 2010 at 12:09 pm and is filed under Fun Things. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

65 Responses to “The penis is too large”

LeftRightOut (622) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 12:25 pm
It is interesting that he said “…nude works from European art traditions would not offend him in the same way as the genitalia were of more natural proportions.” I wonder if it is an insecurity in primitives that they excessivly proportion dicks and a greater comfort with who they are/were in European artists that they do not feel the need. Compare any carving from a primitive with Michaelangelo’s David; it is not only more natural, it is also quite small. A comfort to men everywhere, I suspect.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
mikeysmokes (269) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 12:40 pm
Envy maybe?
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
pareto (23) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 12:43 pm
another classic case of penis envy.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
RKBee (1,344) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 1:09 pm
Thats why the foreign girls flock to Rotorua and want to experience Maori culture.

They should also put on their itinerary parliament.. where all the members are on display.. plus they can think with theirs.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Sapient (24) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 1:12 pm
Hmmm. Given the size of the sculptures and the average sizes of the real thing, I do not feel inclined to believe that those pictured are over-sized. They are certainly within the normal variation. That he prefers the deliberately undersized, ‘civilized’, Greek versions could say a fair bit about his nature; that he is offended by it says more still. lol.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
tvb (3,315) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 1:22 pm
Perhaps by making it oversize there is an artistic point being made. What a dickhead to worry about this.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Fletch (4,316) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 1:22 pm
The pic above doesn’t actually show them.
You can see some actual pics HEREand HERE.

Not sure if these are the ones he is complaining about, or if there are larger ones.
He will unfortunately probably get called a “prude”, but good on him for speaking out if he is concerned about kids seeing it.
I’m not against nudity in art or anything, but I suppose it all depends upon the appropriateness of where it is displayed – in a gallery, or a public place or whatever.

I don’t think it has anything to do with “penis envy” as some have suggested.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Sapient (24) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 2:16 pm
What is wrong with nudity anywhere that the nudity itself does not create danger? No psychological harm results from nudity, in fact the nudity and sex taboos seem to be rather harmful on the whole. A society that allows nudity is hardly going to break down into social chaos.

Furthermore, how is it inappropriate? Because it offends some people wanting to push their own, potentially harmful, views of morality onto their children? Is not the whole point of this to express culture? The penis is a fertility symbol and is highly associated with power in most societies, in my understanding the Maori culture is no exception.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Fletch (4,316) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 2:32 pm
Sapient, so in your hippy utopia we would all go around naked reclining by the side of gently flowing rivers while feeding each other grapes?

The fact is that we are all sexual beings and said sexual urges are activated (mostly) by the naked form – especially for men viewing women. The human form is becoming more and more stripped judging by music videos, movies, TV, advertising, and magazines, and society is getting more permissive.

The naked form is a beautiful thing, but not being naked all the time.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Rex Widerstrom (4,965) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 2:44 pm
Yes because personally, I can’t glance at a naked woman without immediately having to rush out and ravage someone. Thank goodness there’s never any nudity at the movies, I’m sure women wouldn’t like me upsetting their popcorn and coke whilst in the process of ravaging them.

But back to the carvings… never mind the penises (penii?) look at the length of the tongues!! It’s all a conspiracy to make us feel inadequate, I tells ya!
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Sapient (24) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 2:58 pm
Fletch,

In my hippy utopia the rivers would run with honey and milk, there would be no cancer, and there would be an omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent god. Alas, we live in a less than ideal world and none of the aforementioned are at all likely.

I do not promote everyone running around naked; we (at the least, most of us) do not wear clothes because we have discovered shame, but because they provide an adaptive advantage. While it is true that we are sexual beings, we are not slaves to our lust; as evidenced by your typing here rather than running down the road raping every female you see.

Most nudists do not walk around in a constant state of arousal and most gynecologists do not get a hard on every time they do their job. This is simply because their exposure to flesh has been taken outside of the sexual context. We find the bare flesh so appealing because it has been made so taboo that it is only really encountered in that context. We can be sexually turned on by anything and we can find anything bland, this is all a matter of socialization. Futhermore, we can find the naked form bland when painting it but go home and find our partner stunning; it is all a matter of context of exposure. If one wants to get technical, our arousal depends on both the correct establishing operations and the presence of the discriminative stimulas.

People should not be constrained by what others find offensive or, as is the case here, appealing. I find the cross offensive but one is welcome to wear it, likewise some people find shoes appealing but that does not mean that shoes should be banned. It used to be that just the sight of a bare lower leg could be a strongly appealing sight, but now that is incredibly common and while it may be appealing to many, it is so to a far lesser degree. If a man sees a female nude and cannot constrain himself then it is a testament both to his failure as a person and societies failure as a social mediator.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
noskire (715) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 3:03 pm
Supposedly there are three sizes – large, medium and caucasian.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
James Stephenson (1,476) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 3:14 pm
European art traditions like the Cerne Abbas giant: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cerne_Abbas_giant?
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Caleb (464) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 3:26 pm
i doubt a modern european artist would be given the privledge of displaying art like this in a public park.

seems like maori, pushing it… as normal.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
malcolm (2,000) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 3:30 pm
Yeah good on him for saying something, but I do think he’s a bit of a prude. Nothing is in proportion – they’re a caricature designed to impress and/or scare people.

The fact is that we are all sexual beings and said sexual urges are activated (mostly) by the naked form – especially for men viewing women.

Before we start worrying about a few oversized caricature cocks, something needs to be done about the yummy mummies at the pool. I’m keeping a close eye on the problem. Disgraceful.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Repton (769) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 3:41 pm
European art traditions like the Cerne Abbas giant?

I was thinking we should bring back the old Greek tradition of having herms outside people’s houses.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Kieran_B (75) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 3:46 pm
Thanks James, that article was an entertaining read. The close-up and the part about the Neopagans vs Homer Simpson both made me laugh.

This strikes me as one of the filler local articles that the Waikato Times frequently uses in the absence of a decent news item. A pointless story from a two-bit newspaper.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Rex Widerstrom (4,965) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 3:49 pm
Interesting idea, Repton, but considering that, according to the article, “The male genitals would be rubbed or anointed with olive oil to obtain luck”, couldn’t I just stand outside my own house?
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Kimble (3,696) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 4:08 pm
Too late for a “Thats what she said?”
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Hagues (711) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 4:11 pm
Interesting… Just the other day I was looking at those statues and thinking they must have been running short on wood to make them so small!
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
MIKMS (162) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 4:19 pm
Alot of Maori statutes around the place today have small tikis where the phallus is meant to be – due in part to the happy little missionaries seeing the rather gargantuan objects and deciding to castrate them – there are museums Here in NZ and in other countries now which have drawers containing these particulars in discrete rooms – I doubt Tepapa has any on show…
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Johnboy (10,787) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 4:48 pm
White Guy is standing in the urinal in Jamaica when a big black buck grabs the one next door.
Having heard about these fellers the white guy has a peek and spots that the big black guy has a “W” and a “Y’ tattooed on his dick.
By a strange coincidence the white guy has the same.
It turns out that he has a girlfriend called Wendy and when non erect it spells WY.

He can’t resist and says “Hey Mon I could not help but notice but do you have a girlfriend called Wendy”
“No Mon says the dark guy”. “I show you what my tat spells”.

The Jamaican gives his penis a rub and up comes.

“Welcome to Jamaica, have a happy day”.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
barry (1,317) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 4:51 pm
Ive seen these carvings and they are way out of proportion. I assumed that like many things in maori culture symbolism is important – though why having a horse sized penis is a good symbol I fail to understand. If it was a big brain, then something else, but maybe its this sort of cultural stuff that leads maori to have so many unloved kids – the important thing seems to be to exercise the oversize…………..

These carvings should really also show the small brain that goes with the culture
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
philu (13,393) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 4:56 pm
i’ve dreamed of that being said to me..

phil(whoar.co.nz)
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
philu (13,393) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 4:57 pm
mind you..i have been called a ‘big dick’..

does that count..?

phil(whoar.co.nz)
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Johnboy (10,787) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 4:59 pm
I’ve heard that the pot makes it shrink phil so its only ever going to be in your dreams my boy.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
philu (13,393) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 5:01 pm
i’ve found that pot helps it to swell..eh..?

phil(whoar.co.nz0
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
RKBee (1,344) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 5:12 pm
I think Phillip Stevens must be supporting catholic priests… where all sex is hidden.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Johnboy (10,787) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 5:13 pm
p—”Put it in Phil”.
h—”here it comes”.
i —”inside now”.
l—”Liar”. “Its tiny”.

Smoke more pot!!
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
philu (13,393) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 5:17 pm
i prefer..’small but perfectly formed’..

phil9whoar.co.nz0
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Johnboy (10,787) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 5:25 pm
I have heard that about magpies.
It must be true the bastards are everywhere at the moment.
Still so are the Chinese!
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
bustedblonde (137) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 5:33 pm
not as bigger dick as this one! http://roarprawn.blogspot.com/2010/04/suck-on-this-malteaser.html
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Steve (3,653) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 5:36 pm
im a news alligator you know ..

…i gather the spicy bits…
..nobody reads them but..
..who gives a shit..
.. eh? ..

phool(whore.com)
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Johnboy (10,787) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 5:37 pm
Shit busted. That’s bigger than Lexington Steel and John Holmes combined. Have you squatted on it??

Did it it fit?

Try the mouth next time, should fit no worry!
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Steve (3,653) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 5:38 pm
i eat up big

..bits of news..
..then turn them into shit..

..and swim around in it all day..

phlu(yeehaw.co.nz(
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
krazykiwi (9,188) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 7:02 pm
Meh. Indigenious sculpture and painting have often exagerated sex organs. I suggest Mr Stevens takes the opportunity to teach his kids a bit about cultural art generally, rather than taking a swipe at Maori specifically.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
noodle (151) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 7:28 pm
Humourless, unimaginative people like this father really shouldn’t have kids because the poor kids probably end up as tedious, boring and unnecessary to vibrant society as they are. Ah dear…
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
philu (13,393) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 7:36 pm
so..a xenophobic racist..as well as being an old man..eh..?

kinda sad..aren’t you..?

phil(whoar.co.nz)
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Steve (3,653) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 7:39 pm
Right noodle,

Mr Phillip Stevens is an insecure nutbar that can not explain Maori Art or any ART to his offspring.
10 years of Socialist Shit has caused the wimps to act in his way.

Righto righto, get your hand off it
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Fletch (4,316) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 7:49 pm
noodle, I’m sorry, but so-called “boring”men (yes I said “men”, remember those?) like this guy were and are the backbone of New Zealand, now sadly watered down by limp-wristed Political Correctness and an ‘anything goes’ liberalism, permeated by the malodorous perfume of feminism that still lingers in Helen’s wake. We need more real men to speak their minds, even if you think he’s wrong.

As I said, I’m not opposed to nudity in art, but I’m not sure I’d want to be confronted by this cock and balls whilst wandering through a public Hamilton garden – especially if I had kids with me. You have to consider age-appropriateness.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
philu (13,393) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 8:09 pm
“..permeated by the malodorous perfume of feminism that still lingers ..”

y’know..!..if you look closely at that photo..

..you can see ..surrounding ‘worried-dad’…that cloud ‘permeated by the malodorous perfume of feminism that still lingers..’..

whoar..!..eh..?

phil(whoar.co.nz)
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Ryan Sproull (5,585) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 8:14 pm
The pic above doesn’t actually show them.
You can see some actual pics HEREand HERE.

I see. And do you have any photos of the ones with large penises?

The size of the heads on these statues seem exaggerated also. The whole bodies are out of proportion.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Shunda barunda (2,729) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 8:16 pm
Isn’t the whole phallus thing just a little bit, well, “gay” guys? I mean I can understand why Nigel and Steve might want certain “knobs” in the bathroom but isn’t it a bit silly for the rest of us?

Penis!, he he he eh ha he he heheehehehhehehee!
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Shunda barunda (2,729) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 8:19 pm
“I see. And do you have any photos of the ones with large penises?”

Ryan, that first one looks like some govt funded carver has whacked on a giant “cock-n-balls” for laughs.
You surely can see that?.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
philu (13,393) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 8:20 pm
you appear to ne the only one giggling there..shunda..

phil(whoar.co.nz)
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Shunda barunda (2,729) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 8:22 pm
Don’t lie phil…don’t lie
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Ryan Sproull (5,585) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 8:29 pm
Ryan, that first one looks like some govt funded carver has whacked on a giant “cock-n-balls” for laughs.
You surely can see that?.

Yes, that first one does look like some government-funded carver has whacked on a giant “cock-n-balls” for laughs.

And so does the male human body.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Shunda barunda (2,729) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 8:35 pm
“And so does the male human body.”

Ryan do you need to see a doctor? the “man in the mirror” looking a little out of balance?
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Ryan Sproull (5,585) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 8:45 pm
Ryan do you need to see a doctor? the “man in the mirror” looking a little out of balance?

Well, I can’t see the whole statues from those photos, but like I said, none of the statues are particularly in proportion. My head isn’t as wide as my shoulders – is yours. The cock-and-balls do look ridiculous, but not any more ridiculous than they look on humans in general.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Shunda barunda (2,729) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 9:09 pm
.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Shunda barunda (2,729) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 9:16 pm
my link didn’t work.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Ryan Sproull (5,585) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 9:54 pm
my link didn’t work.

Your full stop, on the other hand, was a complete success.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Shunda barunda (2,729) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 10:19 pm
“Your full stop, on the other hand, was a complete success.”

Yes, after I deleted the failed link it was all I could think of, it was a magnificent picture too.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Brian Smaller (3,835) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 10:31 pm
Ha ha. This joker beter not go on holiday to the Cook Islands. Their version of Tangaroa is known locally as the three legged god. What a plonker.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Brian Smaller (3,835) Says:
April 18th, 2010 at 11:02 pm
Sorry – this post has got me laughing. Perhaps our erstwhile phallusophobe might want to avoid these when he goes on holiday with the kids to that home of western civilisation – Italy (Mind you, Pompeii is in Campania and all Italians know they are a little frisky down there).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Mercury_god.jpg
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Banana Llama (1,105) Says:
April 19th, 2010 at 5:37 am
The only thing i don’t understand is why we havn’t sent an all Maori pole vaulting team to the Olympics.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Ryan Sproull (5,585) Says:
April 19th, 2010 at 9:21 am
Sorry – this post has got me laughing. Perhaps our erstwhile phallusophobe might want to avoid these when he goes on holiday with the kids to that home of western civilisation – Italy (Mind you, Pompeii is in Campania and all Italians know they are a little frisky down there).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Mercury_god.jpg

The moment I saw that, I imagined a chorus of ancient Greeks singing the Benny Hill theme song acapella.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Brian Smaller (3,835) Says:
April 19th, 2010 at 9:33 am
Thanks Ryan – now I have the Benny Hill theme music stuck in my head.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
david (2,305) Says:
April 19th, 2010 at 9:44 am
Whats all the fuss about? Emphasised genitals in art is a common feature among primitive civilisations.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
MT_Tinman (2,228) Says:
April 19th, 2010 at 9:44 am
I noticed when i read this story part of the objection was because in the park were several “Moslem families”.

I hope the stone-age carving imitators make them animated next time.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Dazzaman (1,008) Says:
April 19th, 2010 at 10:45 am
Fletch, it’s this guy who is limp-wristed & probably a little bit bigoted. The council want Maori “art” (to a larger degree then thought it is decorative, though mainly a representation of renowned ancestors & deeds) in the park that’s what they will get, warts (& knobs) ‘n all. Handle it.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
RRM (7,264) Says:
April 19th, 2010 at 11:08 am
Outrageous, really, that the natives do not self-censor their art to suit everyone else’s sensibilities.

Phil should visit Apumoana Marae in Rotorua, the phalli on display there are enough to make your eyes water.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Craig Ranapia (1,911) Says:
April 19th, 2010 at 9:58 pm
Mr Stevens gets a “not achieved” in art history and biology. The hairless pudenda and baby dicks of much Western art I’ve studied and appreciated are anything but “natural” in proportion or appearance. And since I’ve not done a scientific survery of Maori penises, they might be entirely representative — anyone else have any *cough* hard empirical data?
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Shunda barunda (2,729) Says:
April 19th, 2010 at 11:35 pm
Well Craig, apparently all the hoo haa over certain races having large (or not) tallywhackers is all crap. Apparently there is no difference in the average size among all races.

If my kids saw that statue they would be laughing for months, they took 2 weeks to get over “Bonar creek” after driving past.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote
Craig Ranapia (1,911) Says:
April 20th, 2010 at 9:21 am
1) I know – I was just teasing. And to state Craig’s First Law of Breast Implants: Anything more than a handful is a waste.

2) Sometimes, I think kids have much to teach us about… um, putting things in their proper place. So to speak.
Vote: 0 0 You need to be logged in to vote

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Kiwiblog