Dim Post on McCully and China
June 20th, 2010 at 4:14 pm by David FarrarSuperb as usual:
Foreign Minister Murray McCully has been severely reprimanded by Chinese Ambassador Zhang Limin for exercising poor judgement when using his Ministerial credit card, the Chinese Embassy announced today.
Previously Prime Minister John Key has defended McCully’s $2000 laundry bill and high alcohol expenditure but the Chinese Ambassador has overruled Key’s position, calling McCully’s spending ‘unseemly and non-magnificent’, and issuing a formal reprimand of the Foreign Minister.
‘We feel the Minister’s level of decadence is inappropriate and counter-revolutionary,’ the Ambassador announced. ‘This behaviour is not acceptable from Party functionaries and will not be tolerated.’
McCully has accepted the censure and thanked the Ambassador for his criticism. ‘Only through the wisdom of his Excellency can I reform my thoughts and become a better servant,’ McCully told reporters, speaking from a pool of mud outside his home where he has kneeled prostrate since receiving the rebuke yesterday. ‘I am chastened but also joyful and eternally grateful.’ …
… ‘We thank McCully for his good and faithful assistance in enlightening Dr Norman’s speech,’ the Ambassador said in his statement. ‘With great perseverance and skillful self-discipline the Snail will once again enjoy the favor of the Dragon.’
To ensure widespread coverage of the censure Chinese Embassy officials decreed that publication of the statement was mandatory for all media outlets. The Dim-Post is joyful to be of service in this matter.
I trust all blogs will comply with the mandatory reporting.
Tags: China, Dim-Post, Humour, Murray McCully, Russel Norman, Satire
June 20th, 2010 at 5:01 pm
As is becoming recognised in economic circles Australia is a province of China and New Zealand is a suburb of Australia.
Vote:June 20th, 2010 at 5:06 pm
No,no, no. Things are a changing. The mandarin of Australian Politics has fallen from grace.
Vote:New National anthems all round.
For Australia. GOD SAVE AUSTRALIA.
AND FOR US ADVANCE WER’E HERE.
June 20th, 2010 at 6:22 pm
Good stuff..and given China’s apparent support for our bid for a seat on the UN security council (what was the price for that support I wonder?), likely not too far from the truth in future..or am I just being cynical?
Vote:June 20th, 2010 at 10:51 pm
Yeah Russel we are a country of free speach… so shut up.
Vote:June 20th, 2010 at 11:03 pm
was that a new benchmark set in craven-grovelling..there..by mccully…?
phil(whoar.co.nz)
Vote:June 20th, 2010 at 11:24 pm
Phool:
Leaving aside the awkward question of library closing times… didn’t you realise this was a satirical thread?
Vote:June 21st, 2010 at 10:03 am
Russel Norman was way out of line for his pathetic protest. Truly bad form, and a disservice to NZ. China is an important trade partner, and will not become a free country over-night. They have already come a long way in the last 50 years and they wont turn on a dime – patience is required. We must be pragmatic about where NZ sits in the world and do what we can to ensure *NZ* people have good, safe, prosperous, lives. And this means working with China, not against them. If Russel wants to help the Tibetans then he should move to Tibet and help build some schools and teach them English or something useful like organic farming.
How China manages it’s own affairs and problems are it’s business – and they seem to do a fairly good job in many areas and have loads of their own issues to bother about fixing – such as widepsread poverty, maintaining social cohesion with a rapidly developing middle class, pollution, corruption and so on.
I don’t see Russel complaining about every disputed territory, every country with some form of suppression of media freedoms. And as far as freedom of speech – where was he when the Labour-Green government passed the Electoral Finance Act? So it’s only OK to pontificate on other peoples control freak governments, but when you do it it’s justified because of a few Exclusive Brethren funded pamphlets exposing your policies as nonsense before the election?
Vote:June 21st, 2010 at 11:53 am
How China manages it’s own affairs and problems are it’s business
I think his point is that they should be Tibet’s affairs, but they got invaded.
Vote:June 21st, 2010 at 8:45 pm
V2 – I understand that the mandarin in the Australia province is in disgrace. The world has been advised that it is an internal matter to China and that comments about the situation are not constructive to the resolution of the issue. It is understood that the situation will be resolved shortly by the resumption of provincial control by a more market orientated figurehead. To date the internal transfers of (mineral) wealth have not been effected.
Sorry for the delay in this update but I had trouble finding a suitable safe PC to post from.
Vote:July 14th, 2010 at 12:02 pm
Brilliant piece….and uncomfortably true. The Grand Plan is for a multi-polar world economy, with China rising . That’s why they got the Olympics. Will get worse once China upvalues its Yuan to true value. Grand plan is for China to dominate the Pacific economis…..with Australia as its mine and NZ as the milking shed. Bad idea. An alliance of Australia and NZ should dominate this region – in a nice way – instead.
Vote:Of course, if China does take us over, there’s already lots of mainland Chinese immigrants in ANZ to run the bureaucracies and relay instructions in Mandarin.