Vote Williams and Whale?

September 9th, 2010 at 8:07 pm by David Farrar

Cactus Kate has a brilliant idea:

I have previously endorsed Cameron Brewer as a candidate for the Auckland Supercity. I now add two more endorsements but only if you vote for them together. What the Supercity needs is checks and balances. There can be no greater check and balance for the incumbent candidate “Mayor” Andrew Williams than to elect in Albany, aka Whaleoil.

What genius. Can you imagine it – Williams and the Whale having to sit around the same table for three years. Either they’ll become good mates (unlikely) or the will resemble live episodes of the Jerry Springer show. One could televise Council meetings on a pay per view channel.

Cactus also compares their vital stats:

Age: 51 v 41
Born: Hawkes Bay v Fiji
Weight: 110kgs with body paint, 95 without v fighting weight of 100kgs
Height: Scarcely taller than a parking meter v 5 foot 11
Drugs of choice: Alcohol and various prescription drugs v Melatonin and off depression meds
Mental State: Allegedly mad v certifiably mad
Education: Advanced Marketing Management Diploma from the International Marketing Institute of New Zealand v Whaleoil who hasn’t bothered making one up
Religion: Worships at the Gods of Caroma v Christian
Credit Card: Now only a personal one v no credit
Looks: Chubby preppy cheek v Angry Chopper Read
Spouse: Angry Jane v Angrier Spanish Bride
Work history: Diplomat to country where English is not a first language v IT and security
Drives: Black Nissan Maxima v Whaleoil Truck
Children: 24, 21 and 17 vs 14 and 12
Internet Presence: Hasn’t quite got used to it after 6 days blogging v Dominant
Supercity concept: Hates it v Loves it
Walking Style: wobbly lines utilising entire ratepayer resource of pavement v straight line won’t move for anyone
Favourite Attire: Custom fitted short man’s suit v Whaleoil t-shirt
Current employment: Bludging off the ratepayer v Campaigning to bludge off the ratepayer
Favourite Tipple: Anything on stock at GPK v Only when Cactus is in town
Favourite Hobbie: Gardening with his mate Little Andrew v Gardening on Spanish Bride’s orders with a chainsaw and round-up
Favourite MP: Winston Peters v Crusher Collins
Favourite restaurant: GPK v Daikoku looking down on GPK
Pet Hates: Cameron Slater v Winston Peters and (those two really should have a drink together at GPK sometimes)
Nicknames: Clown/Cock of Campbells Bay, Mad Mayor v Whaleoil
Pets: Cute dog named Rimu v the Black Dog and David Farrar
Favourite Journalist: Late night calls with Jonathan Marshall v Jonathan Marshall……..Finally some common ground
PR/Media handling style: Combative v Combative
Weasel words: “Reducing rates – In the first year as Mayor we reduced the rates increase to 5.9%” v no weasel words
Pressure release: Late night abusive emails v All day abusive internet posts

Whether you’re from the right, the left or the centre – doesn’t the thought of Andrew Williams and Cameron Slater as fellow Albany Councillors for three years tempt you as proof there is karma?

Tags: , , , ,

27 Responses to “Vote Williams and Whale?”

  1. YesWeDid (1,029 comments) says:

    Except of course Whale is all talk and no action, put him on TV or in front of a judge and he is all meek and mild, put him in front of of a computer keyboard and he is all bluster and abuse.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  2. toad (3,669 comments) says:

    Despite my cynicism about Hide’s “Super”City I want it, despite the undemocratic constraints of the CCOs, to be functional and democratic as possible.

    Electing a couple of egotistical, arrogant, uncompromising, and deranged dickheads like Slater and Williams to the Auckland Council will not help in that regard.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  3. MT_Tinman (2,986 comments) says:

    Given a choice between the two I’d vote for Williams.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  4. Steve (4,498 comments) says:

    Right
    And put him on TV like ‘The Nation’ or ‘Q&A’ for 35 seconds is meek and mild then no comment after coz the program is finished.
    ‘The Nation’ is shit and so is the ‘Phomes’ show. You lefties are the keyboard cowbows.
    The so called expert guests are always lefties

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  5. Ross Miller (1,661 comments) says:

    YesWeDid (143) … sounds like an Obama apologist. Will the Dems end up like Williams? Money to be made on ipredict.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  6. Cactus Kate (545 comments) says:

    Mayor Andrew Williams is the new black…..Vote WILLIAMS and WHALE.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  7. toad (3,669 comments) says:

    Cactus, are you actually an anarchist, rather than a neo-lib, at heart? Your post would indicate that you want the Auckland Council to be a failure so you support electing the most dysfunctional candidates.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  8. Cactus Kate (545 comments) says:

    Of course I am an anarchist. It is the Supercity. The beauty of the Supercity is that it doesn’t matter who you elect because all the thinking is done by intelligent people you appoint. Why do you think the lefties are wailing into their teacups?

    The Council therefore can never be a failure as long as it is effective in doing nothing to disturb that process. Having an entirely dysfunctional Council is the best outcome. The last thing you want is an orderly group of Councillors promoting change (left or right). You want them to focus solely on core functions of local government. Which leaves them stuff all to do really.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  9. Fletch (6,021 comments) says:

    According to this family friendly site, Williams answered the best with regard to conservative questions put forward to 6 candidates.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  10. Guy Fawkes (702 comments) says:

    If William loses as I confidently predict. I simply wonder what he will do for cash flow in his own domestic arrangement?

    Has he had is Council Credit Card removed or just properly controlled?

    Does he really drink that much piss? Really that much? FFS he is certainly contributing to the economy with all that GST.

    Oh wait, he doesn’t pay for it personally you say. How does that work?

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  11. Rich Prick (1,542 comments) says:

    If Black Light meets White Light and they cancel each other out and therefore cancel a form of government I say go for it. Less (or better still, no) government is a good thing. Fewer wankers interfering in your life. Witness Christchurch and the waiving of building consents/inspections/certification, if its good enough in a crisis how about at any time?

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  12. Rich Prick (1,542 comments) says:

    “Pressure release: Late night abusive emails v All day abusive internet posts”

    Did like that one though, and there were a few other gems too.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  13. Grizz (500 comments) says:

    “The beauty of the Supercity is that it doesn’t matter who you elect because all the thinking is done by intelligent people you appoint.”

    The same goes for Hospital Boards. The most pointless elections for a most pointless body. A tier of beauracracy that needs elimination.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  14. Danyl Mclauchlan (1,065 comments) says:

    Whether you’re from the right, the left or the centre – doesn’t the thought of Andrew Williams and Cameron Slater as fellow Albany Councillors for three years tempt you as proof there is karma?

    Mostly it makes me think that we shouldn’t be paying for Slater’s sickness benefit; weren’t you spluttering with outrage over some Wellington guy on a welfare benefit a couple organising protests a couple of weeks ago?

    [DPF: No. Do not distort what I said. Mr Easton did not claim he was sick. He said he refuses to look for a job, as he regards political activism as his job. WINZ have presumably been satisfied that Cameron is eligible for the sickness benefit. WINZ should apply the same criteria to Cameron as to any one else on a benefit]

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  15. Lee C (4,516 comments) says:

    All this discussion does for me is indicate what too much champagne does to the limbic system.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  16. hj (6,350 comments) says:

    Here are my two choices:
    http://blog.greens.org.nz/wp-content/uploads/IMG_79692.jpg

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  17. Pete George (22,798 comments) says:

    Super Silly:

    Drinking, lying taunts as mayors get nasty

    Auckland City Mayor John Banks and North Shore Mayor Andrew Williams nearly came to blows at a fiery Super City candidates meeting in a Castor Bay church hall on the North Shore.

    Yesterday, Mr Williams said National Party members attended the meeting to heckle candidates and Mr Banks joined in in the same tone, “making unacceptable comments which I took exception to”.

    “I stood up and stood in front of him and said, ‘How dare you say something like that, in a public forum; what a shocking thing to say to me’,” he said.

    Mr Williams said an accusation from blogger and long-time opponent Cameron Slater that he “staggered clearly drunk” into the meeting late was completely incorrect.

    Mayoral candidate Colin Craig said Mr Banks had a vocal, one-eyed support team who constantly interrupted Mr Williams.

    “It was extremely childish. There were no punches or anything physical involved other than the two were right in each other’s face. It was like two cocks in a cock fight.”

    Mayoral candidate Penny Bright said it was a disgraceful display by Mr Banks and his National Party supporters.

    Are National members really resorting to that sort of pettiness?

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  18. All_on_Red (1,357 comments) says:

    Penny Bright can hardly talk about disgraceful displays. What a hypocrite.
    And Cameron Slater doesnt belong to the National party anymore

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  19. Pete George (22,798 comments) says:

    Are you saying Penny Bright was wrong or just that she shouldn’t complain about being disgraceful?

    “Mayoral candidate Colin Craig said Mr Banks had a vocal, one-eyed support team”

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  20. Captain Neurotic (206 comments) says:

    Do you mean the same Ms Penny Bright who was dragged and arrested screaming from council chambers after she had a tantrum and call the Mayor a dick and has recently had her convictions upheld and appeal dismissed by the SC?

    Wow… Perhaps a more credible witness please?

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  21. bearhunter (859 comments) says:

    As a ratepayer – ie one of those poor fools who is actually paying for this whole foul jamboree – the thought of either of these two odious wastes of space getting a penny of my hard-earned money makes me vomit with rage. Sadly, it wouldn’t surprise me at all to see the voters in Albany elect one of them, demonstrating once again that the whole North Shore should have a wall built around it.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  22. J Mex (184 comments) says:

    “makes me vomit with rage”

    Interesting – and seriously weird.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  23. Murray (8,838 comments) says:

    Whats the third option?

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  24. wikiriwhis business (3,883 comments) says:

    “Penny Bright ”

    What a great name for a brand, novel, movieor song.

    Reeks of success

    Immensly ironic.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  25. Pete George (22,798 comments) says:

    “Penny Bright ”

    We used to do that by soaking them in coke.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  26. Murray (8,838 comments) says:

    This one looks like shes been saturated with coke too Pete.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  27. Tom Gould (141 comments) says:

    Correction:

    Current employment: Bludging off the ratepayer v bludging off the taxpayer
    Nicknames: Clown/Cock of Campbells Bay, Mad Mayor v Whaleoil, Blubber Boy, Blowhole, Psycho Slater

    Other than that, this new dream team just might work …

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.