Prince Philip
May 30th, 2011 at 9:00 am by David FarrarPrince Philip is 90 next month. To commemorate, the Independent has his 90 best soundbites. Some wonderful extracts:
3. “Deaf? If you’re near there, no wonder you are deaf.” Said to a group of deaf children standing near a Caribbean steel drum band in 2000.
5. “You managed not to get eaten then?” To a British student who had trekked in Papua New Guinea, during an official visit in 1998.
7. “How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?” Asked of a Scottish driving instructor in 1995.
17. “There’s a lot of your family in tonight.” After glancing at business chief Atul Patel’s name badge during a 2009 Buckingham Palace reception for 400 influential British Indians to meet the Royal couple.
20. “Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?” To a wheelchair-bound Susan Edwards, and her guide dog Natalie in 2002.
22. “I would like to go to Russia very much – although the bastards murdered half my family.” In 1967, asked if he would like to visit the Soviet Union.
46. “You have mosquitoes. I have the Press.” To the matron of a hospital in the Caribbean in 1966.
54. “Can you tell the difference between them?” On being told by President Obama that he’d had breakfast with the leaders of the UK, China and Russia.
75. “They’re not mating are they?” Spotting two robots bumping in to one another at the Science Museum in 2000.
He is a national treasure.
Tags: Humour, Prince Philip
May 30th, 2011 at 9:17 am
I think he has a definite sense of humour. Some of those are pearlers. I am all for people saying what they think.
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 9:26 am
Yes, slitty eyes jokes are what we want in our Head of State’s consort repartee.
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 9:28 am
International treasure more like – splendid.
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 9:29 am
And now there is a film The Prince’s Speech: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zH2Cf2GPrVc
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 9:36 am
Whats your claim to fame Will? Got any combat time, were you serving on a destroyer off Crete duing the invasion? Any reason at all that we should value your opinion above his? you children and grandshilfern served their country at all? Have you an your family worked for charities up to and well beyond retirment age? Have you founded and given your name to an award desgined to give young people a sense of responsibility to themselves and their communities?
Have you taken the unmittigated shit of whiney little snots who have done nothing of note your entire live and shruged it off Will?
What have you got Will?
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 9:56 am
Haha very funny. Got to love a good sense of humour
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 9:56 am
He once said “The Daily Express is a bloody awful newspaper”. A Giles cartoon (in the Express) showed Lord Beaverbrook (then owner) being marched off to the Tower of London saying “At least he [reads] it or he would not know it was a bloody awful newspaper”.
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 10:03 am
@Murray – my guess is Will wasn’t born to a ridiculously privileged family where he is elevated to positions that are way way above where his natural ability would normally carry him. As for military service, I would also guess that Will has probably got a relative or two in his past who probably died a miserable death in a trench in some forgotten field and hasn’t made it to the grand old age of 90 and is covered in medals proclaiming how bloody wonderful he is.
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 10:09 am
Have to feel sorry for the bloke – the media is hanging on his every word just waiting for the next ‘clanger.’
It was also obvious that he really wanted to get a taste of the Guinness that was poured for him when the Queen visited the Guinness brewery recently. Poor bugger – he likes a beer and yet he had to pass it up.
Even the messiah Obama tipped one down when he had the chance a week or so later.
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 10:13 am
Ronald Reagan also got in some good ones in his time
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 10:17 am
Met, and had a short chat with, the greasy Greek many years ago.
Came across as a right tosser.
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 10:24 am
Will wasn’t born to a ridiculously privileged family
Neither was Phillip – unless of course Lizzy married her brother….
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 10:28 am
Tossers galore lining up -!
Vote:I liked the one about the anorexic’s dog.
How un-PC is that, Haha.
May 30th, 2011 at 10:30 am
He joined the navy at 18 and wnet to war of his own choice while a teenager yesyoudidn’t. As you point out, he was not required to do this by virtue of his birth, but he did. I did not ask about Wills family service, this is New Zealand EVERYONE has family who served, I asked what HIS claim to fame was.
Like you he has nothing in history that entitles him to look down on or sneer at someone who has dedicted his life to the serive of others.
I see you decided to focus on the miltary service and sneer at that as well but you did not address the other aspects that i brought up. Whats the matter too hard for you address the question, or do you think that its clever enough just to sneer at those who have military service? You might what to check what country you live in. Miltiary service is a feature of kiwi families. Its not going to gwet you points to sneer at it.
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 10:35 am
Bloody hell Murray. You aren’t related by any chance are you?
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 10:38 am
YesWeDid>and hasn’t made it to the grand old age of 90 and is covered in medals proclaiming how bloody wonderful he is
Phillip is NZ’s one and only Field Marshal: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Field_Marshal_%28New_Zealand%29
It seems odd that the US currently have no 5 star officers and haven’t since WW2, but NZ has one. That should be worth a medal or two.
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 10:38 am
Every time he opens his mouth there is a strong chance he is going to put his foot in it. But having said that, he does add colour to an otherwise dull family. Once he goes, I think Prince Harry has shown himself as a definite contender for being the provider of clangers. Re: The Duke’s war service, although I do not ever wish for me or my sons to be in the armed services, I do admire the veterans of past and present battles for their bravery.
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 10:38 am
The one about the Robots is funny – how the fuck could anyone take offense at that?
And does anyone disagree about the press being like mosquitoes?
The poor bugger has to make endless chit chat to an endless parade of people and even the slightest slip up is reported forever.
Vote:I wonder how anyone here would fear under such scrutiny?
May 30th, 2011 at 10:45 am
He is bloody 90 years old and product of his time. Not sure if many of you bashers have ever spoken to a 90 year old, but they all basically say the first thing that they think of and usually quite funny. But DPF is a republican, so I guess that must be the spin.
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 10:53 am
@Murray & Bevan – Philips wasn’t some commoner before he married (the future) Queen Elizabeth he was a member of the exiled Greek royal family, so yes he was born to ‘privilege’.
As for ‘the other aspects’ you bought up – do you mean his charities? Hell, what else is he meant to do with his life?
As for sneering at military service, get a grip, I’m sneering at the romantic image of military service that you seem to embrace, there is nothing romantic about war. I hope my children and their grandchild never have to fight in a war, now that would be something to celebrate.
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 10:55 am
@jackryab – he hasn’t always been 90! He’s spent his entire life making a fool of himself.
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 11:00 am
When you are married to the most powerful woman in the world you can say what want. Prince Philips asides are mere trifles, palace humour that is to amuse not offend.His humour may rub sensitive types the wrong way, but there is no malice intended. He is a warm caring man with a wicked sense of humour.
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 11:01 am
@YesWeDid
Vote:As opposed to you who has never made a fool of him/herself!
May 30th, 2011 at 11:02 am
What KevinH wrote
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 11:09 am
Tossers lining up to show how with it they are by having a go at an honest and funny 90 year old hero who is still doing his bit,unlike most of the lefty, progressive, sandal wearing, humourless arseholes sounding off here.
God Save the Queen.
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 11:12 am
Some great ones in there:
“”You’re not wearing mink knickers, are you?” Philip charms fashion writer Serena French at a World Wildlife Fund gathering in 1993. ”
“What about Tom Jones? He’s made a million and he’s a bloody awful singer.” Response to a comment at a small-business lunch about how difficult it is in Britain to get rich.
“I thought it was against the law these days for a woman to solicit.” Said to a woman solicitor.
If it doesn’t fart or eat hay, she isn’t interested.” Of his daughter, Princess Anne.
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 11:13 am
There was a moment before the wedding started where we clearly missed Phil saying something filthy by a matter of seconds.
HM the Queen – disgusted look, turns her back on hubs to speak to someone else.
Vote:HRH Phil – big dumb grin on his face.
May 30th, 2011 at 11:15 am
Bob R
I recall that at some charity concert – maybe that Queen’s thingy they do every year – he once actually asked Tom Jones if he gargled with rocks. Classic.
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 11:29 am
I think that one is mentioned on the list
Some more gems:
“Aren’t most of you descended from pirates?” In the Cayman Islands, 1994.
“I wish he’d turn the microphone off!” The Prince expresses his opinion of Elton John’s performance at the 73rd Royal Variety Show, 2001.
“A few years ago, everybody was saying we must have more leisure, everyone’s working too much. Now that everybody’s got more leisure time they are complaining they are unemployed. People don’t seem to make up their minds what they want.” A man of the people shares insight into the recession that gripped Britain in 1981.
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 11:31 am
@Murray & Bevan – Philips wasn’t some commoner before he married (the future) Queen Elizabeth he was a member of the exiled Greek royal family, so yes he was born to ‘privilege’.
Really? Just how much privilege is there when you are exiled?
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 11:41 am
“God Save the Queen.”
Hear hear Kowtow. Thank God we have a bloody good bloke like Philip as our head of states spouse.
Imagine if the traitors had their way and we got a President Helen for example with her boring whatis name as consort.
Long live the Monarchy!
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 12:01 pm
53. “People think there’s a rigid class system here, but dukes have even been known to marry chorus girls. Some have even married Americans.” In 2000.
Ha ha ha ha.
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 1:04 pm
I have a lot of time for Philip, Duke of Edinburgh.
He did say what he thought, and perhaps in more discreet company he still does. He’s a bit like the family grumpy old uncle who barks and hummphs away.
A niece of mine met him in England a few years ago. She was watching her son at a sports event, and yelling her encouragement, and a voice behind her said: “You sound like a typical, sports-mad Kiwi mother.”
She looked around to see who was speaking, and to whom. The duke was standing there beside her on his own, not a flunky or lackey in sight.
She said they talked amiably for about 10 minutes, and that several times he expressed his regard for New Zealand’s fighting record, particularly in WW 2, and how much he liked New Zealand and New Zealanders.
She was surprised. She almost converted to being a monarchist.
Philip was born to the Greek royal family, who were the poor cousins of the Danes and the Hesses and the wealthier Battenbergs (Mountbattens). There wasn’t a lot of ‘privilege’.
His family was exiled while he was still a baby. He was more German than Greek, but he grew up in France and England.
Now, you could wonder about his Uncle Louis’ (Mountbatten) machinations that got him to marrying the young Princess Elizabeth. But apparently she fell for him as a 13 year-old.
I have met old New Zealand sailors who knew the young Lieutenant Mountbatten. A couple of things: despite his German origins and German relatives he never shirked anything, and even long after the war he still remained in contact with them, and sometimes was ‘a voice in the right ear’ for some, as one told me.
He might not have been the world’s best father, husband, or even human being, but as jackryan wrote before, he is a product of his time.
And one quote that probably wasn’t in the Express: It refers to the New Zealand prime minister Sid Holland, who when the Queen and Philip visited in 1953-54, was seen constantly with them.
David Lange, in his My Life (from which I lift the quote) tells the story of when the Queen and the duke were in New Zealand again he introduced Holland’s son, Eric, to them. Lange said that the duke turned to the Queen and muttered: ‘Bloody old Sid.”
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 1:36 pm
Like most of David Lange’s better stories I suspect it’s so good because he made it up.
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 1:46 pm
…As for military service, I would also guess that Will has probably got a relative or two in his past who probably died a miserable death in a trench in some forgotten field and hasn’t made it to the grand old age of 90 and is covered in medals proclaiming how bloody wonderful he is.
Yup, Trevor De Cleene died a miserable death in the trenches of the Fourth Labour government! Don’t think he got any medals, but he was a good free market man and many people thought he was bloody wonderful.
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 2:00 pm
FYI, Murray, I was in 10th Air Training Squadron in high school. Although wanting to join the RNZAF (when there was still an AF), I could not pass the medical due to my hearing. Both my grandfathers fought in the World Wars, but either of them would have made better NZ Head of State consorts than that boorish twat.
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 2:06 pm
Prince Phillip strikes me as one of those people who has an opinion on everything but does not spend much time actually listening. He is basically fairly ill informed despite having met quite a considerable number of interesting and well informed people. He has had a pretty good life but did not expect to be thrust into the support role for his wife the Queen quite so soon. That must have irked at times.
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 2:43 pm
Ill informed about what?
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 3:11 pm
Will, are you related to Trevor de Cleene?
In the 60s he and some other candidates for Parliament came to my high school for a question-and-answer session with senior pupils — sixth formers, as they were called then.
I asked a particularly ‘curly’ question (I can’t remember what, now, and I found out later that it was ‘curly’ because a teacher told me it was). Trevor was the only one to treat the question and me seriously.
Years later I was interviewing him and he recalled me, and my question. I was surprised.
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 3:44 pm
Phillip…
Vote:Having met him many times and been involved in NZ activities (from 1974) in which he featured….. let me just say that Phillip Mountbatten and his first born, Charles, are birds of the feather…..
May 30th, 2011 at 3:50 pm
Bob R
“58. “I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing.” Addressing a group of industrialists in 1961. “
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 3:59 pm
A British Paul Henry. Good on him.
I remember the Duke’s comment after a visit to the old chicken shed that was Wellington Airport: “We went to Wellington, but it was closed.”
I like to think he’d be amused by the Wellywood sign.
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 4:14 pm
“When you are married to the most powerful woman in the world you can say what want. ”
I’m not sure who that is, probably Oprah. Sure as shit it’s not our Queen.
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 4:54 pm
I suspect you’ll eat your words when the soldiers storm your bedroom at 3 o’clock tomorrow morning KiwiGreg. Enjoy your last hours. Bwahahahaahahahahahah.
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 6:07 pm
FYI, Murray, I was in 10th Air Training Squadron in high school………………
Too easy Murray, sadly like Jamie Lee-Ross proclaiming he’s taken flying lessons, not quite there if you know what I mean.
I think it would be nearly 90 years since Phil actually gave a fuck , – wonderful – just says whats on his mind. The missus must cringe
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 6:21 pm
@TripeWryter Aye, that was him.
Vote:May 30th, 2011 at 7:39 pm
Trevor de Cleene. What an intellect. What a pleasure to listen to him in the 1980s when part of the reforming Labour government. He used logic, argument and common sense in dealing with NZ’s not insignificant economic problems post Muldoon. As Minister of Revenue NZ went from fiscal deficit to fiscal surplus for the first time in decades. He is missed today.
The current crop of Labour MPs are not anywhere near matching his contribution to NZ.
Vote:May 31st, 2011 at 8:08 am
You know if ACT is looking for a third new candidate, Prince Phillip would be perfect. He’s a rich, elderly, socially awkward racist. He’s even used to standing in the shadow of his more powerful partner so no problem with the nats. Match made in heaven I say.
Vote:May 31st, 2011 at 8:14 am
60. “Well, you didn’t design your beard too well, did you? You really must try better with your beard.” To a young fashion designer at a Buckingham Palace in 2009.
68. “Ah, so this is feminist corner then.” Joining a group of female Labour MPs, who were wearing name badges reading “Ms”, at a Buckingham Palace drinks party in 2000.
Good stuff
Vote:May 31st, 2011 at 8:40 am
@ Innocent bystander,
Who is r8cist?
Vote:May 31st, 2011 at 5:24 pm
Gotta love that bloke!
Vote:June 1st, 2011 at 11:50 am
Obviously not an exhaustive list. I couldn’t find the one where Prince Philip said promoting tourism was equivalent to national prostitution. That would be one of his more insightful comments (and would have been especially apt for NZ).
Vote: