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I may have recently inferred that I thought Hone was a spent force, ready to be consigned to the dustbin of history. But that’s bloging – forceful yet vapid and uninformed opinions passed off as the definitive last word.
I hereby apologise for my previous error and wuld like to suggest now that instead Hone Harawira is going to become a venerable elder-stateman of New Zealand politics.
Well done him for door-knocking his way back into the big whare.
What does it tell you about New Zealand when an overt racist is returned to Parliament with not so much as a wimper from the main stream media.
Tells me that the media is two faced
Tells me that the majority of the Northland Maori are racist
Imagine if you like that a white supremacist stood to a seat in Christchurch. He would be rightly railroaded out of the event. For Hone – nothing
Mana is described as “a left-wing indigenous”. Since when did the left celebrate a party that venerates one group as having a superior status based on birth rights while the remainder are “tauiwi” (foreigners in this land).
“The speeches of the orators were not very interesting, so I took a stroll to a little rising ground at about a hundred yards distance, where a company of natives, better dressed than common, were seated. They had the best sort of ornamented cloaks, and wore in their heads, feathers, which I already knew “commoners” could not afford to wear, as they were only to be procured some hundreds of miles to the south. I therefore concluded these were magnates or “personages” of some kind or other, and determined to introduce myself. As I approached, one of these splendid individuals nodded to me in a very familiar sort of manner, and I, not to appear rude, returned the salute. I stepped into the circle formed by my new friends, and had just commenced a tena koutou, when a breeze of wind came sighing along the hill-top; my friend nodded again, and his cloak blew to one side. What do I see?—or rather what do I not see? The head has nobody under it! A number of heads had been stuck on slender rods, a cross stick being tied on to represent the shoulders, and the cloaks thrown over all in such a natural manner as to deceive any one at a short distance; but a green pakeha, who was not expecting any such matter, to a certainty.
I fell back a yard or two, so as to take a full view of this silent circle, and felt that at last I had fallen into strange company. I began to look more closely at my companions, and to try to fancy what their characters in life had been. One had undoubtedly been a warrior; there was something bold and defiant about the look of the head. Another was the head of a very old man, grey, shrivelled, and wrinkled. I was going on with my observations when I was saluted by a voice from behind with, “Looking at the eds, sir?” It was one of the pakehas formerly mentioned. “Yes,” said I, turning round just the least possible thing quicker than ordinary. “Eds has been a getting scarce,” says he. “I should think so,” says I. “We an’t ad a ed this long time,” says he. “The devil!” says I. “One o’ them eds has been hurt bad,” says he. “I should think all were rather so,” says I. “Oh, no, only one on ‘em,” says he; “the skull is split, and it won’t fetch nothin’,” says he. “Oh, murder! I see, now,” says I. “Eds was werry scarce,” says he, shaking his own “ed.” “Ah!” said I. “They had to tattoo a slave a bit ago,” says he, “and the villain ran away, tattooin’ and all!” says page 56 he. “What?” said I. “Bolted afore he was fit to kill,” says he. “Stole off with his own head?” says I. “That’s just it,” says he. “Capital felony!” says I. “You may say that, sir,” says he. “Good morning,” said I, and walked away pretty smartly. “Loose notions about heads in this country,” said I to myself; and involuntarily putting up my hand to my own, I thought somehow the bump of combativeness felt smaller, or indeed had vanished altogether. “It’s all very funny,” said I.
I walked down into the plain, and saw in one place a crowd of women, boys, and others. There was a great noise of lamentation going on. I went up to the crowd, and there beheld, lying on a clean mat, which was spread on the ground, another head. A number of women were standing in a row before it, screaming, wailing and quivering their hands about in a most extraordinary manner, and cutting themselves dreadfully with sharp flints and shells. One old woman, in the centre of the group, was one clot of blood from head to feet, and large clots of coagulated blood lay on the ground where she stood. The sight was absolutely horrible, I thought at the time. She was singing or howling a dirge-like wail. In her right hand she held a piece of tuhua, or volcanic glass, as sharp as a razor: this she placed deliberately page 57 to her left wrist, drawing it slowly upwards to her left shoulder, the spouting blood following as it went, and from the left shoulder downwards, across the breast to the short ribs on the right side; she then shifted the rude but keen knife from the right hand to the left, placed it to the right wrist, drawing it upwards to the right shoulder, and so down across the breast to the left side, thus making a bloody cross on the breast. And so the operation went on all the time I was there; the old creature all the time howling in time and measure, and keeping time, also with the knife, which at every cut was shifted from one hand to the other, as I have described. She had scored her forehead and cheeks before I came; her face and body were one mass of blood, and a little stream was dropping from every finger: a more hideous object could scarcely be conceived. I took notice that the younger women, though they screamed as loud, did not cut near so deep as the old woman; especially about the face.
This custom has been falling gradually out of use; and when practised now, in these degenerate times, the cutting and maiming is a mere form: slight scratching to draw enough blood to swear by; but, in “the good old times,” the thing used to be done properly. I often, of late years, have felt quite indignant to see some degenerate hussy page 58 making believe with a piece of flint in her hand, but who had no notion of cutting herself up properly as she ought to do. It shows a want of natural affection in the present generation, I think; they refuse to shed tears of blood for their friends as their mothers used to do.
This head, I found on inquiry, was not the head of an enemy. A small party of our friends had been surprised, and two brothers were flying for their lives down a hill-side; a shot broke the leg of one of them and he fell. The enemy were close at hand; already the exulting cry “Na! na! mate rawa!” was heard; and the wounded man cried to his brother, “Do not leave my head a plaything for the foe.” There was no time for deliberation. The brother did not deliberate; a few slashes with the tomahawk saved his brother’s head, and he escaped with it in his hand, dried it, and brought it home. The old woman was the mother, the young ones were cousins: there was no sister, as I heard, when I inquired. All the heads on the hill were heads of enemies, and several of them are now in museums in Europe.
With reference to the knowing remarks of the pakeha who accosted me on the hill on the state of the head market, I am bound to remark that my friend Mr. — never speculated in this “article;” but the skippers of many of the page 59 colonial trading schooners were always ready to deal with a man who had “a real good head,” and used to commission such men as my companion of the morning to “pick up heads” for them. It is a positive fact that some time after this the head of a live man was sold and paid for beforehand, and afterwards honestly delivered “as per agreement.”
The scoundrel slave who had the conscience to run away with his own head after the trouble and expense had been gone to to tattoo it to make it more valuable, is no fiction either. Even in “the good old times” people would sometimes be found to behave in the most dishonest manner. But there are good and bad to be found in all times and places.” http://www.nzetc.org/tm/scholarly/tei-ManPake-c3.html
Since when did the left celebrate a party that venerates one group as having a superior status based on birth rights while the remainder are “tauiwi” (foreigners in this land).
Problem:
* They found anklet bracelets with built-in GPS transceivers were uncomfortable, large and cumbersome to wear.
Solution:
* If they’re that uncomfortable, back to prison – give them the choice.
Problem:
* A smaller ankle bracelet.. …was also impractical. The separate unit “presents a risk of frequently lost and/or damaged equipment. It relies on the offender to remember to take the GPS unit with them when they leave the house.”
Solution:
* If an offender loses or damages the unit – the offender pays for it. If he forgets it: back to jail.
Of course I wouldn’t make any money because these answers contain very few buzzwords.
Clearly you pasted this long extract for a reason. Care to enlighten us on your point?
…..
A. I made a mistake with the editing.
B. It’s funny.
C. It’s my endorsement of Mana’s “indigenous eco socialism”.
Regarding the graphic pictures that, by government decree, will adorn all cigarette packs sold in America, Christopher Buckley writes: “I’m not against the new cigarette labels, but I’m not sure I’m for them. Cigarettes kill – no argument there. So does alcohol. If that pack of Marlboros is going to look like a page from a medical textbook, shouldn’t bottles of Bud carry pictures of car crashes, or cirrhotic livers, or beaten wives? Shouldn’t Big Macs come with photos of early contestants from ‘The Biggest Loser’?” (“Thank you for not warning me about smoking,” June 24).
True dat. But why not also require that graphic warning pictures be draped over government buildings? The Federal Reserve building, for example, might be covered with a huge picture of a graph showing that, since the Fed’s creation, the dollar has lost 96 percent of its value. Truth in advertising would be further promoted if the U.S. Capitol’s exterior featured a supersized photo of Rep. Barney Frank who, after applauding Fannie and Freddie for promoting more home-ownership than would be promoted by the market, proclaimed in 2003 “I want to roll the dice a little bit more in this situation towards subsidized housing.”
And from the roof of the White House to its lawn, let hang ginormous photographs of American troops returning home in body bags from Vietnam, Iraq, and other theaters of war in which Uncle Sam had no business acting.
…”On Saturday, The Press reported that some insurance companies had told red-zone residents they would not cover the replacement cost of a house if it was repairable, even if they had full replacement cover”…..
And here once again we have scummy insurance companies hellbent on ripping off their policy holders. These householders would have signed up for “peace of mind” type policies & gone through the exercise of paying their premiums content in the knowledge that their investment was safe. Safe that is until the other party has to blow the dust of its chequebook & pay out some of the money it has taken under false pretenses.
Not being a lawyer I have no idea of which of their devious clauses written in gobbledegook & hidden in fine print they will be using to escape paying. What can be guaranteed is that the payout will not represent anything resembling what was intimated when the policy was taken out.
Small wonder people take the chance & go without insurance cover.
McCarthy notes an American soldier has successfullyavoid service in Afghanistan on the grounds that he should not be required to fight fellow Muslims. I wonder if all the other US Muslims serving there will ask to come home, or whether non-Muslims might convert to Islam to avoid service.
I don’t often link back to my blog- but I’ve responded to the SST on the claim our wildlife is being pillaged by smugglers. There’s some economics and politics content.
Lipo (7:49am) – “What does it tell you about New Zealand when an overt racist is returned to Parliament with not so much as a wimper from the main stream media….Tells me that the majority of the Northland Maori are racist”
No Lipo – not “the majority”, only the 5611 Mana voters who support the racist Hone (or about 48% of the voters) are racist.
The party’s constitution was released and Mana took the opportunity to broadly sketch party policies.
Maori activist and Treaty lawyer Annette Sykes said that she, lawyer Moana Jackson, unionist Mike Treen, Auckland University law professor Jane Kelsey and social justice campaigner John Minto had been working on them together.
Five specific policies would be on the party’s website by the end of the week but a major one was the party’s cost of living policy, which mooted that GST should come off essential services such as power bills.
The policies wouldn’t be difficult to understand even though intellectuals had written them, Ms Sykes said. “It’s really, really simple. We want equality, we want the poor not to be marginalised.”
It’s good they’ll be easy to understand. That’s fairly important specially in their demo. Personally, I’m against equality and I do want the poor to be marginalised. I’d really like it if the poor and downtrodden would just go away and not be around anymore and I blame them for everything. This is the attitude those “intellectuals” really appear to think, some of we conservatives actually have.
Still munting on about the mental idea to remove universal GST I see, this time it’s power bills. What’s next. No GST on fishing licences and boat gear cuz that’s wot us bros like to do a lot?
If the idiots actually made a suggestion that would actually in the real world improve the lot of the people they claim to represent I’d support it in a flash but they won’t, you watch. Instead they’ll pretend the whole system is simply an inherently oppressive regime and freedom must be won through struggle and hardship.
Instead of the mentals for example addressing the appalling lack of education through multiple generations in their core demo for example. What’s their answer for example, to that? Bet it’s somefink like: no-body wants to teach our kids cuz they is poor and carnt afford to pay the teacher eh so that’s why we just let em wander round and do wut they like so we will fix this not by addressing the attitude in the families but by munting round the edges and increasing the number of teachers in the poor areas. This won’t do a fucking thing to help, but bet that’s what their education policy is, when it comes out in a few days…
P.S. Not to mention calling Minto an “intellectual.”
Thanks, I fear Wilkinson has been captured by the ‘law enforcement is the only way’ crowd.
Smuggling is the inevitable consequence of banning the trade in this wildlife. We’re basically ‘paying’ poachers a bounty to take our wildlife for export. Call me silly, but maybe that’s the policy we should be debating?
Murray – The national anthem of Saudi is Onward Christian Soldiers
… titled as ‘Al Salam Al Malaki’. The words of this national song was written by Ibrahim Khafaji and music composed by Abdul Rahman Al-Khateeb. However, in 1950 this song was adopted as national anthem of Saudi Arabia.
- http://www.123independenceday.com/saudi-arabia/national-anthem.html
puzzled it is an ironic commentary of the fact the Saudi is very happy to let Christians defend despotism from tyranny for them but enforce strict Muslim observation on those troops.
Just heard mental Sue Bradford allege on Monday Politics (RadioLeftWing) that in her considered opinion Thompson’s comments actually do reflect the ethos of those he represents.
Thus again proving the “intellectuals” within Mana are going to be really very funny as they proclaim their “wisdom” over the next few years…
What is described in that article is a bureaucracy choking on its self. The reason for its existence has become obscure & it serves no purpose other than to generate reports for other people in the organisation to digest & regurgitate further reports.
“On Saturday, The Press reported that some insurance companies had told red-zone residents they would not cover the replacement cost of a house if it was repairable, even if they had full replacement coverthis time around.”
Yes..bastards. Im not renewing my contents insurance this time around. Ive been paying for 30 years and have only ever made one claim from the e’quake…and they still havent paid me ! I’ll take the risk thanks very much.
Catch upi starboard not paying for inmsurence means you are the scum of society and should be thrown out on to the streets to die according to the morally superior people who pay premiums.
…yeah but the problem with insurance companies , as Nassak pointed out , they dont like paying out when its required. They put hoops in front of you when you try and claim , add fine print , fuck you around , make you pay ” an excess “.. ( what the fucks that anyway? )..at the end of the day instead of them taking on the risk…I will take on my own. Up ya bum AMI .
I think that Thompson’s astonishing outburts last week reveal something that a lot of workers already know to their detriment that we actually do continue to have an epidemic of bullying in the workplace by people just like Mr Thompson: Big, bluff, domineering, red-faced Pakeha men throwing their weight around as we saw him doing so outrageously on TV the other night [you know, the Campbell Live edited segment that Brian Edwards says is outrageous disgraceful and journalistically unethical, that one...] and that’s actually going on all the time in the workplace, aimed at workers who aren’t journalists, who don’t have that kind of power, who don’t have any ability to fight back, um, and end up losing whatever they do. And I think Mr Thompson has actually revealed the true face, sadly of far too many New Zealand employers and in some ways why should the EMA sack him he’s actually doing us a favour, by portraying the true face of some employers.
Then she says:
He [Thomspon] states over and over again that he is simply reflecting the ethos of his members.
I wonder if there’s anything actionable in there. Sadly doesn’t look like it, but truly reflective of a towering failure to sort reality from all the other stuff that must be going on inside her head. I mean, crikey.
So for those idiots who think it would be a really neaty idea for us to borrow some cash to use in stimulating economic growth: i.e. the entire Liarbore Caucus, have a look at the data after Obama’s $787 billion stimulus package.
That red line doesn’t look very good, does it? I wonder what that one means?
That bit got to me as well Reid, if i framed it like this.
That we actually do continue to have an epidemic of violence in society by people just like Mr Hone Hatfield: Big, bluff, domineering, red-faced brown skinned native throwing their weight around as we saw him doing so outrageously on TV the other night.
I get called a racist.
LOL.
A sullen drop in a sullen swell ten fathoms deep on the road to hell.
This is the amazing thing isn’t it. That not just her but the whole execrable lot of em can’t fucking see it either. All of them think that because they weally weally care and they’re doing it for the poor and without a voice, that this therefore makes anything they think thereby automatically accrue the forces of truth and justice behind it, no matter what they say, about anything.
It’s so fucking mental I can’t even begin to comprehend it, it’s too fucking enormous, like visualising the entire universe, getting a handle on where they come from is just too fucking hard for me. I give up. It’s all over.
I’m just not capable of descending to the depths of their madness without myself succumbing so therefore, for Mana, I’ll never be able to predict what they’re going to do next for I just can’t bring myself to pretend to think like them, I just can’t, it makes me want to puke AND have explosive diarrhea all at the same time so I’m actually quite happy about my decision.
The next time my SF friend tells me about what she just read in the NYT I’m going to send her this.
“If it’s Kansas, Missouri, no big deal. You know, that’s the dance of the low-sloping foreheads. The middle places, right?
…Did I just say that aloud?
David Carr, New York Times.
Yes. Yes you did.
Muhahahahaha – gosh I laughed.
What. An. Asshole.
Stuff like this is fun to remember the next time some leftie tells you that they have friends in the US who feel really excluded by comments from GOP leaders, people indulging in hateful, exclusionary rhetoric that makes them feel as if they’re not real Americans.
…currently leads the headline on Stuff. It has a complete fully-staffed operating room all to itself. Awwwwwwwwwwww.
Now one naturally expects massive TV exposure tonight, probably live interviews with both Walrus and the boy. I expect the PM will be asked in a demanding tone when the 4500 km flight back to its home territory is planning on leaving.
Plus I bet he just changed his name when he became famous – Happy Feet. I mean FFS. His real name is probably something like Dumb Feet but he lied when he told them what his name was.
I mean he can’t be too clever, can he. He started walking away from his mates and didn’t turn around for 4,500 km. That’s not very brainy, is it.
I bet he doesn’t even have a passport either, but you just watch tonight. Awwwwww, isn’t that cutey wooty.
“The Mana Party says it will travel the country promoting its policies over the next six weeks
Maori activist and Treaty lawyer Annette Sykes said that she, lawyer Moana Jackson, unionist Mike Treen, Auckland University law professor Jane Kelsey and social justice campaigner John Minto had been working on them together”
Cant wait for their public meetings. I’ll be there giving the likes of minto an earful with a loudhailer..bit of his own treatment for once.Mana party.. bunch of racist bleating fucktards…here today , gone tomorrow.
Starboard quoted: “Annette Sykes said that she, lawyer Moana Jackson, unionist Mike Treen, Auckland University law professor Jane Kelsey and social justice campaigner John Minto had been working on them together””
Once they meet up with the MOFO himself, Willie Jackson, Matt McCarten et al, it’ll be the biggest gathering of muppets since Jim Henson’s funeral.
“Now one naturally expects massive TV exposure tonight, probably live interviews with both Walrus and the boy.”
Walrus will duck for cover. Doesn’t like being outwitted which is odd-on if he interviews a partially stupefied penguin
..mite even take one of their shitty little te rango flags along to the meet…crap on it then shoot it like that fat dirtbag iti did to the NZ flag. Speaking of iti..havent heard from the fat little porker for a while..wonder if he’s still breathing.
should never have given ‘em a foot in the door. Aussies got the right idea. ( cue gasps of horror from certain handwringing bone carving sickly white liberals on kiwiblog )
Walrus will duck for cover. Doesn’t like being outwitted which is odd-on if he interviews a partially stupefied penguin
Yes it will challenge him Nookin. Hopefully “Happy Feet” will be in a particularly good mood and he won’t harass Walrus and be all difficult. Walrus has probably got the Gaffer out there at the local fish market, right now.
You’re taking your chances starboard. If “Off White with an Attitude” reads your comment you’ll get a right bollocking & a Taniwha will take up residency in your swimming pool.
whats with the selective preaching Wodders..I didnt see you get all offended, object or criticise this loser…
“Black with a Vengeance (214) Says:
June 17th, 2011 at 10:41 am
Hone carries the Guide to Righting Past Wrongs By Means of Cash Settlements
_______________________________________________________________________
and what do you carry ?
Getting Away With It :The White Muthafuckas Guide to Raping Indigenous Land”
“You’re taking your chances starboard. If “Off White with an Attitude” reads your comment you’ll get a right bollocking & a Taniwha will take up residency in your swimming pool.
Be very afraid”
No need to be afraid Starboard- I have learned from Maori ‘Academics’ that Taniwha (unlike Dragons and the Kraken) can be appeased with cash payouts…keep your credit card handy and I’m sure old Horotiu means you no ill harm….
I dare say that should this geographically challenged bird thrive, the next step will be carting the wretched thing back down to Antarctica at vast expense to the taxpayer. I’d lay odds that the dopey bastard will be sea lion tucker within two days of getting back in the water.
News it may be but people get a bit carried away with this nature in all its glory stuff. Over in my neck of the woods it is near impossible to go for a walk along the shore without stepping in seal shit. I think I preferred much of this wildlife when they were endangered.
sure sure Rod..but you chose to pick out my comment and be offened by it , not his…you’re a sickly white liberal Rod ..be gone with you back to the strandard !
why would I regret saying anything? I speak openly and honestly…you will never be left wondering , and thats the best way to be Rod. I might offend the likes of you and milkymike…so what?
Just to wade into this ridiculous debate- I’ve been to the Vatican and Sistine Chapel and I’ve also been to Te Papa. One was mindblowing, the other was overpriced,underwhelming and had fat shirtless men poking their tongues out and seemingly trying to scare me…..I’ll take Catholic art and culture anyday..
Melanesian and Polynesian (Maori among them) art are at the same primitive level.
They produced artifacts of little or no relevance, unless you consider the cannibals feasts an advanced artistic expression.
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term.
The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it
with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One
student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that
if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there
is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more
than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and
death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to
increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the> same,
the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
that, “It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,” and take into
account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be
true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is, therefore,
extinct…… leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
being, which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting, “Oh my God!”
Mikenmild- Built itself did it? I was under the impression that the ever-generous NZ taxpayer would have pumped rather a lot of cash into the ridiculous place….All for the glorification of that magnificent Maori ‘Culture’….
Though I didn’t stick round long enough to see the exhibition detailing that fabulous ‘Cultural’ tradition of drinking Lion Red and bashing your kids to death….
All over the place though many come from a few hard case mates.
Two salmon are desperately swimming upstream to reach the spawning grounds.
Exhausted, one turns to the other and says “Bugger this… Let’s stop here and have a wank.”
You surely wouldn’t begrudge subsidising our national museum? Te Papa is magnificent. I must have missed the exhibition to which you refer. I’m constantly amazed by the range of fantastic objects in the collection. We’re very lucky to have such a place.
“Where do you find these, nasska?”
Well they are not found, they are just there when you are born with a sense of humour.
Now all of you fuddy duddies can fuck off for a cup of tea and don’t read this:
Sperm Education – A new twist on an old joke
The newly born sperm was receiving instructions in conception from the instructor.
“As soon as you hear the siren, run for the tunnel and swim in a straight line until you get to the entrance of a damp cavern. At the end of the cavern you will find a red, sticky ball which is the egg.
Address it and say, “I’m a Sperm.” She will answer, I’m the Egg.” From that moment on you will work together to create the embryo. Do you understand?”
The sperm nodded affirmatively and the instructor said, “Then, good luck!”
Two days later, the sperm is taking a nap when he hears the siren. He wakes up immediately and runs to the tunnel.
A multitude of sperm swim behind him. He knows he has to arrive first. When he nears the entrance to the cavern, he looks back and sees that he is far ahead of the other sperm.
He is able to swim at a slower pace but does approach
the red, sticky ball.
When, at last, he reaches the red, sticky ball, he smiles and says, “Hi, I’m a sperm.”
The red sticky ball smiles and says, “Hi. I’m a tonsil.”
I love you – any chance of a shag later?
I love you so much – I really do want that shag you know.
I love you with all my heart – any chance of a blowjob thrown in with the shag?
I love you with all my heart and soul – and swallow please?
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to The Warehouse. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women – she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Warehouse Store Manager.
Dear Mrs. Smith,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store.. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. J.Smith are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
1. Feb 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s trolleys when they weren’t looking.
2. March 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. March 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.
4. March 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away? This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. April 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
6. May 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
7. June 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sizes of funnels.
8. June 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’
9. June 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a foetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’ And last, but not least:
10. June 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.
“Longknives-You surely wouldn’t begrudge subsidising our national museum?”
Not at all if it were indeed a ‘National Museum’… I regularly visit the Auckland Museum and find it a fascinating place, It showcases Maori, Pacific and European cultures, has a magnificent war museum and and seems to have a balanced and accurate perspective on History. Sadly Te Papa seems determined to re-write and brainwash New Zealanders with another recently fabricated version….
I think you have Te Papa wrong. I often go there. As is the way with kids, I usually see the same things – Awesome Forces and Bush City. The big exhibitions are really good too.
Wish I could go to the Ak one more – it”s really good.
June 27th, 2011 at 6:05 am
First…
Vote:Another day living the dream
June 27th, 2011 at 7:17 am
I may have recently inferred that I thought Hone was a spent force, ready to be consigned to the dustbin of history. But that’s bloging – forceful yet vapid and uninformed opinions passed off as the definitive last word.
I hereby apologise for my previous error and wuld like to suggest now that instead Hone Harawira is going to become a venerable elder-stateman of New Zealand politics.
Well done him for door-knocking his way back into the big whare.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 7:49 am
What does it tell you about New Zealand when an overt racist is returned to Parliament with not so much as a wimper from the main stream media.
Vote:Tells me that the media is two faced
Tells me that the majority of the Northland Maori are racist
Imagine if you like that a white supremacist stood to a seat in Christchurch. He would be rightly railroaded out of the event. For Hone – nothing
June 27th, 2011 at 7:51 am
The racists threaten to spread their message of hate around the country. It will be all in vain. No-hopers and losers will get nowhere. http://msn.nzherald.co.nz/politics/news/article.cfm?c_id=280&objectid=10734723
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 7:54 am
Mana is described as “a left-wing indigenous”. Since when did the left celebrate a party that venerates one group as having a superior status based on birth rights while the remainder are “tauiwi” (foreigners in this land).
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 7:58 am
” ‘Ed’s”
“The speeches of the orators were not very interesting, so I took a stroll to a little rising ground at about a hundred yards distance, where a company of natives, better dressed than common, were seated. They had the best sort of ornamented cloaks, and wore in their heads, feathers, which I already knew “commoners” could not afford to wear, as they were only to be procured some hundreds of miles to the south. I therefore concluded these were magnates or “personages” of some kind or other, and determined to introduce myself. As I approached, one of these splendid individuals nodded to me in a very familiar sort of manner, and I, not to appear rude, returned the salute. I stepped into the circle formed by my new friends, and had just commenced a tena koutou, when a breeze of wind came sighing along the hill-top; my friend nodded again, and his cloak blew to one side. What do I see?—or rather what do I not see? The head has nobody under it! A number of heads had been stuck on slender rods, a cross stick being tied on to represent the shoulders, and the cloaks thrown over all in such a natural manner as to deceive any one at a short distance; but a green pakeha, who was not expecting any such matter, to a certainty.
Vote:I fell back a yard or two, so as to take a full view of this silent circle, and felt that at last I had fallen into strange company. I began to look more closely at my companions, and to try to fancy what their characters in life had been. One had undoubtedly been a warrior; there was something bold and defiant about the look of the head. Another was the head of a very old man, grey, shrivelled, and wrinkled. I was going on with my observations when I was saluted by a voice from behind with, “Looking at the eds, sir?” It was one of the pakehas formerly mentioned. “Yes,” said I, turning round just the least possible thing quicker than ordinary. “Eds has been a getting scarce,” says he. “I should think so,” says I. “We an’t ad a ed this long time,” says he. “The devil!” says I. “One o’ them eds has been hurt bad,” says he. “I should think all were rather so,” says I. “Oh, no, only one on ‘em,” says he; “the skull is split, and it won’t fetch nothin’,” says he. “Oh, murder! I see, now,” says I. “Eds was werry scarce,” says he, shaking his own “ed.” “Ah!” said I. “They had to tattoo a slave a bit ago,” says he, “and the villain ran away, tattooin’ and all!” says page 56 he. “What?” said I. “Bolted afore he was fit to kill,” says he. “Stole off with his own head?” says I. “That’s just it,” says he. “Capital felony!” says I. “You may say that, sir,” says he. “Good morning,” said I, and walked away pretty smartly. “Loose notions about heads in this country,” said I to myself; and involuntarily putting up my hand to my own, I thought somehow the bump of combativeness felt smaller, or indeed had vanished altogether. “It’s all very funny,” said I.
I walked down into the plain, and saw in one place a crowd of women, boys, and others. There was a great noise of lamentation going on. I went up to the crowd, and there beheld, lying on a clean mat, which was spread on the ground, another head. A number of women were standing in a row before it, screaming, wailing and quivering their hands about in a most extraordinary manner, and cutting themselves dreadfully with sharp flints and shells. One old woman, in the centre of the group, was one clot of blood from head to feet, and large clots of coagulated blood lay on the ground where she stood. The sight was absolutely horrible, I thought at the time. She was singing or howling a dirge-like wail. In her right hand she held a piece of tuhua, or volcanic glass, as sharp as a razor: this she placed deliberately page 57 to her left wrist, drawing it slowly upwards to her left shoulder, the spouting blood following as it went, and from the left shoulder downwards, across the breast to the short ribs on the right side; she then shifted the rude but keen knife from the right hand to the left, placed it to the right wrist, drawing it upwards to the right shoulder, and so down across the breast to the left side, thus making a bloody cross on the breast. And so the operation went on all the time I was there; the old creature all the time howling in time and measure, and keeping time, also with the knife, which at every cut was shifted from one hand to the other, as I have described. She had scored her forehead and cheeks before I came; her face and body were one mass of blood, and a little stream was dropping from every finger: a more hideous object could scarcely be conceived. I took notice that the younger women, though they screamed as loud, did not cut near so deep as the old woman; especially about the face.
This custom has been falling gradually out of use; and when practised now, in these degenerate times, the cutting and maiming is a mere form: slight scratching to draw enough blood to swear by; but, in “the good old times,” the thing used to be done properly. I often, of late years, have felt quite indignant to see some degenerate hussy page 58 making believe with a piece of flint in her hand, but who had no notion of cutting herself up properly as she ought to do. It shows a want of natural affection in the present generation, I think; they refuse to shed tears of blood for their friends as their mothers used to do.
This head, I found on inquiry, was not the head of an enemy. A small party of our friends had been surprised, and two brothers were flying for their lives down a hill-side; a shot broke the leg of one of them and he fell. The enemy were close at hand; already the exulting cry “Na! na! mate rawa!” was heard; and the wounded man cried to his brother, “Do not leave my head a plaything for the foe.” There was no time for deliberation. The brother did not deliberate; a few slashes with the tomahawk saved his brother’s head, and he escaped with it in his hand, dried it, and brought it home. The old woman was the mother, the young ones were cousins: there was no sister, as I heard, when I inquired. All the heads on the hill were heads of enemies, and several of them are now in museums in Europe.
With reference to the knowing remarks of the pakeha who accosted me on the hill on the state of the head market, I am bound to remark that my friend Mr. — never speculated in this “article;” but the skippers of many of the page 59 colonial trading schooners were always ready to deal with a man who had “a real good head,” and used to commission such men as my companion of the morning to “pick up heads” for them. It is a positive fact that some time after this the head of a live man was sold and paid for beforehand, and afterwards honestly delivered “as per agreement.”
The scoundrel slave who had the conscience to run away with his own head after the trouble and expense had been gone to to tattoo it to make it more valuable, is no fiction either. Even in “the good old times” people would sometimes be found to behave in the most dishonest manner. But there are good and bad to be found in all times and places.”
http://www.nzetc.org/tm/scholarly/tei-ManPake-c3.html
June 27th, 2011 at 8:00 am
hj
Clearly you pasted this long extract for a reason. Care to enlighten us on your point?
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 8:02 am
Cambodia in 1975?
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 8:07 am
@ DPF – you must be humbled by all the publicity
http://www.stuff.co.nz/dominion-post/news/5195146/More-surgery-today-for-Happy-Feet
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 8:08 am
If I had friends in the right places, I’m sure I could make tonnes of money as a consultant.
http://www.stuff.co.nz/technology/5194933/GPS-tracking-for-offenders-shelved-again
Problem:
* They found anklet bracelets with built-in GPS transceivers were uncomfortable, large and cumbersome to wear.
Solution:
* If they’re that uncomfortable, back to prison – give them the choice.
Problem:
* A smaller ankle bracelet.. …was also impractical. The separate unit “presents a risk of frequently lost and/or damaged equipment. It relies on the offender to remember to take the GPS unit with them when they leave the house.”
Solution:
* If an offender loses or damages the unit – the offender pays for it. If he forgets it: back to jail.
Of course I wouldn’t make any money because these answers contain very few buzzwords.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 8:09 am
When John Campbell whas going on about an unlivable house that was rated green, did he mean it was in the green zone or it was green stickered?
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 8:14 am
Perhaps he thought it was something to do with Metiria Turei…
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 8:24 am
Nah, seriously; he is completely misrepresenting the scope of both systems if he implies that either has anything to do with sanitation or livability.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 8:32 am
hj
Clearly you pasted this long extract for a reason. Care to enlighten us on your point?
Vote:…..
A. I made a mistake with the editing.
B. It’s funny.
C. It’s my endorsement of Mana’s “indigenous eco socialism”.
June 27th, 2011 at 8:41 am
How about special visability vests for offenders, with a code (eg s/l 500986 = shoplifter #ect. C/m = conman, r/p = rapist, f|/.. = flasher)?
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 8:55 am
hj,
You’re idea reminds me of this recent post:
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 9:00 am
hj own site, off you go.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 9:02 am
Sonny
Or the Capitol could be decorated with large images of dead Iraqi and Afghan children.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 9:12 am
IV2, thanks for the morning laugh.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 9:23 am
From TVNZ 7.17am Today
…”On Saturday, The Press reported that some insurance companies had told red-zone residents they would not cover the replacement cost of a house if it was repairable, even if they had full replacement cover”…..
And here once again we have scummy insurance companies hellbent on ripping off their policy holders. These householders would have signed up for “peace of mind” type policies & gone through the exercise of paying their premiums content in the knowledge that their investment was safe. Safe that is until the other party has to blow the dust of its chequebook & pay out some of the money it has taken under false pretenses.
Not being a lawyer I have no idea of which of their devious clauses written in gobbledegook & hidden in fine print they will be using to escape paying. What can be guaranteed is that the payout will not represent anything resembling what was intimated when the policy was taken out.
Small wonder people take the chance & go without insurance cover.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 9:26 am
Small wonder people take the chance & go without insurance cover.
Indeed, they may well have been better off putting the money in the bank…
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 9:27 am
DPF – How about an auto truncate of say 15 or 20 lines?
With a link at the end.
I don’t know if it’s possible, but it would be nice.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 9:33 am
An interesting read: http://www.nationalreview.com/articles/270484/our-sharia-compliant-afghan-war-andrew-c-mccarthy
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 9:39 am
The national anthem of Saudi is Onward Christian Soldiers Manolo.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 9:50 am
Manolo
McCarthy notes an American soldier has successfullyavoid service in Afghanistan on the grounds that he should not be required to fight fellow Muslims. I wonder if all the other US Muslims serving there will ask to come home, or whether non-Muslims might convert to Islam to avoid service.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 9:58 am
I don’t often link back to my blog- but I’ve responded to the SST on the claim our wildlife is being pillaged by smugglers. There’s some economics and politics content.
http://sciblogs.co.nz/chthonic-wildlife-ramblings/2011/06/26/nz-wildlife-being-pillaged-by-smugglers-really/
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 9:59 am
Lipo (7:49am) – “What does it tell you about New Zealand when an overt racist is returned to Parliament with not so much as a wimper from the main stream media….Tells me that the majority of the Northland Maori are racist”
No Lipo – not “the majority”, only the 5611 Mana voters who support the racist Hone (or about 48% of the voters) are racist.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 10:10 am
It’s good they’ll be easy to understand. That’s fairly important specially in their demo. Personally, I’m against equality and I do want the poor to be marginalised. I’d really like it if the poor and downtrodden would just go away and not be around anymore and I blame them for everything. This is the attitude those “intellectuals” really appear to think, some of we conservatives actually have.
Still munting on about the mental idea to remove universal GST I see, this time it’s power bills. What’s next. No GST on fishing licences and boat gear cuz that’s wot us bros like to do a lot?
If the idiots actually made a suggestion that would actually in the real world improve the lot of the people they claim to represent I’d support it in a flash but they won’t, you watch. Instead they’ll pretend the whole system is simply an inherently oppressive regime and freedom must be won through struggle and hardship.
Instead of the mentals for example addressing the appalling lack of education through multiple generations in their core demo for example. What’s their answer for example, to that? Bet it’s somefink like: no-body wants to teach our kids cuz they is poor and carnt afford to pay the teacher eh so that’s why we just let em wander round and do wut they like so we will fix this not by addressing the attitude in the families but by munting round the edges and increasing the number of teachers in the poor areas. This won’t do a fucking thing to help, but bet that’s what their education policy is, when it comes out in a few days…
P.S. Not to mention calling Minto an “intellectual.”
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 10:11 am
Chthnoiid
Like your post. Politicians love to take imaginary problems and promise tougher penalties.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 10:25 am
Hj that old book you cite is pure gold, thanks for posting that.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 10:40 am
London’s best home:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2007919/Move-Buckingham-Palace-Furious-locals-massive-underground-extension-mystery-owner-Londons-incredible-home.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2007978/Amazing-video-Jacob-Langston-captures-moment-shark-jumps-surfer-Florida-beach.html
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 10:42 am
@mikenmild
Thanks, I fear Wilkinson has been captured by the ‘law enforcement is the only way’ crowd.
Vote:Smuggling is the inevitable consequence of banning the trade in this wildlife. We’re basically ‘paying’ poachers a bounty to take our wildlife for export. Call me silly, but maybe that’s the policy we should be debating?
June 27th, 2011 at 10:45 am
Murray – The national anthem of Saudi is Onward Christian Soldiers
… titled as ‘Al Salam Al Malaki’. The words of this national song was written by Ibrahim Khafaji and music composed by Abdul Rahman Al-Khateeb. However, in 1950 this song was adopted as national anthem of Saudi Arabia.
Vote:- http://www.123independenceday.com/saudi-arabia/national-anthem.html
June 27th, 2011 at 10:56 am
puzzled it is an ironic commentary of the fact the Saudi is very happy to let Christians defend despotism from tyranny for them but enforce strict Muslim observation on those troops.
Do try to think a little less literally.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 11:06 am
Intelligence operations in the US:
http://quantumpranx.wordpress.com/a-hidden-world-growing-beyond-control/
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 11:16 am
Reid 10:40 am
Well … His name was jump, the shark.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 11:24 am
Just heard mental Sue Bradford allege on Monday Politics (RadioLeftWing) that in her considered opinion Thompson’s comments actually do reflect the ethos of those he represents.
Thus again proving the “intellectuals” within Mana are going to be really very funny as they proclaim their “wisdom” over the next few years…
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 11:27 am
Do you have a clicky link for that Reid?
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 11:33 am
Lol – Puzzled, you should start sending corrections to The Onion, they say a lot of things that might not be correct…
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 11:33 am
Here i will share something interesting with you.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Augmented_reality
The silver bullet for the entertainment dinosaurs, good luck stopping “IP theft” when that is integrated into sunglasses.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 11:34 am
reid @ 11.o6am
What is described in that article is a bureaucracy choking on its self. The reason for its existence has become obscure & it serves no purpose other than to generate reports for other people in the organisation to digest & regurgitate further reports.
A lot like the Ministry of Women’s Affairs.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 11:44 am
He’s going to be a busy man PIA.
Who took irony out back and shot it anyway?
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 12:13 pm
“On Saturday, The Press reported that some insurance companies had told red-zone residents they would not cover the replacement cost of a house if it was repairable, even if they had full replacement coverthis time around.”
Yes..bastards. Im not renewing my contents insurance this time around. Ive been paying for 30 years and have only ever made one claim from the e’quake…and they still havent paid me ! I’ll take the risk thanks very much.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 12:18 pm
Exactly nasska which is a bit of a worry considering its role and function within the US security apparatus, isn’t it…
Do you have a clicky link for that Reid?
Banana:
Vote:http://www.radionz.co.nz/national/programmes/ninetonoon/audio/2492251/politics-from-the-left-and-from-the-right.asx
June 27th, 2011 at 12:19 pm
Catch upi starboard not paying for inmsurence means you are the scum of society and should be thrown out on to the streets to die according to the morally superior people who pay premiums.
Apparently to make insurance companies rich.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 12:24 pm
…yeah but the problem with insurance companies , as Nassak pointed out , they dont like paying out when its required. They put hoops in front of you when you try and claim , add fine print , fuck you around , make you pay ” an excess “.. ( what the fucks that anyway? )..at the end of the day instead of them taking on the risk…I will take on my own. Up ya bum AMI .
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 12:30 pm
Thanks very much Reid.
Hopefully she doesn’t drive me to drink.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 12:36 pm
About 11:30m in it starts…
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 12:50 pm
Sue Bradford this morning on radio:
Then she says:
I wonder if there’s anything actionable in there. Sadly doesn’t look like it, but truly reflective of a towering failure to sort reality from all the other stuff that must be going on inside her head. I mean, crikey.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 1:03 pm
So for those idiots who think it would be a really neaty idea for us to borrow some cash to use in stimulating economic growth: i.e. the entire Liarbore Caucus, have a look at the data after Obama’s $787 billion stimulus package.
That red line doesn’t look very good, does it? I wonder what that one means?
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 1:10 pm
That bit got to me as well Reid, if i framed it like this.
That we actually do continue to have an epidemic of violence in society by people just like Mr Hone Hatfield: Big, bluff, domineering, red-faced brown skinned native throwing their weight around as we saw him doing so outrageously on TV the other night.
I get called a racist.
LOL.
A sullen drop in a sullen swell ten fathoms deep on the road to hell.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 1:11 pm
Up ya bum AMI
We went past one of their bulidings the other day, looks like it has “taken one for the team”
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 1:21 pm
Trip to the RRC for that racist Bradford is in order: “Big, bluff, domineering, red-faced Pakeha men throwing their weight around”
To throw it right back at the fucking bitch it tells us a lot about her. Not much about anything else.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 1:25 pm
Sounds like it’s a draw between Hone and Alisdair – both bullies.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 1:25 pm
Good, drop both of them off a cliff, everyones happy/.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 1:30 pm
No can’t draw that conclusion on the facts I’m afraid, mm.
Hone is, for sure. Thompson, nuh uh.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 1:39 pm
Manolo and Mikenmild- Personally I found Andrew McCarthy a lot funnier in Weekend at Bernies….
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 2:07 pm
Sue Bradford: “Big, bluff, domineering, red-faced Pakeha men throwing their weight around”
Vote:The hypocrisy, it burns!
June 27th, 2011 at 2:18 pm
The hypocrisy, it burns!
This is the amazing thing isn’t it. That not just her but the whole execrable lot of em can’t fucking see it either. All of them think that because they weally weally care and they’re doing it for the poor and without a voice, that this therefore makes anything they think thereby automatically accrue the forces of truth and justice behind it, no matter what they say, about anything.
It’s so fucking mental I can’t even begin to comprehend it, it’s too fucking enormous, like visualising the entire universe, getting a handle on where they come from is just too fucking hard for me. I give up. It’s all over.
I’m just not capable of descending to the depths of their madness without myself succumbing so therefore, for Mana, I’ll never be able to predict what they’re going to do next for I just can’t bring myself to pretend to think like them, I just can’t, it makes me want to puke AND have explosive diarrhea all at the same time so I’m actually quite happy about my decision.
Quite a relief, really.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 2:32 pm
Well, well, well.
The next time my SF friend tells me about what she just read in the NYT I’m going to send her this.
Yes. Yes you did.
Muhahahahaha – gosh I laughed.
What. An. Asshole.
Stuff like this is fun to remember the next time some leftie tells you that they have friends in the US who feel really excluded by comments from GOP leaders, people indulging in hateful, exclusionary rhetoric that makes them feel as if they’re not real Americans.
Bye bye NYT – and all the rest.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 2:47 pm
Good classic movies about newspapers.
http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2011/06/beyond-page-one-5-underrated-newspaper-movies/240934/#slide1
Isn’t that interesting…
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 2:52 pm
Cactus Kate has confirmed her application for Act Party candidacy
http://keepingstock.blogspot.com/2011/06/is-cactus-acts-prickly-solution-part_27.html
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 3:00 pm
Important fluffy alert:
http://www.stuff.co.nz/environment/5195192/Emperor-penguin-comes-through-surgery
…currently leads the headline on Stuff. It has a complete fully-staffed operating room all to itself. Awwwwwwwwwwww.
Now one naturally expects massive TV exposure tonight, probably live interviews with both Walrus and the boy. I expect the PM will be asked in a demanding tone when the 4500 km flight back to its home territory is planning on leaving.
Just forget about Chch.
That’s not important, anymore.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 3:09 pm
Plus I bet he just changed his name when he became famous – Happy Feet. I mean FFS. His real name is probably something like Dumb Feet but he lied when he told them what his name was.
I mean he can’t be too clever, can he. He started walking away from his mates and didn’t turn around for 4,500 km. That’s not very brainy, is it.
I bet he doesn’t even have a passport either, but you just watch tonight. Awwwwww, isn’t that cutey wooty.
It’s not fair.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 3:16 pm
I2 – good on her, I think she’ll add something positive to parliamanet and it sounds like she’s taking a very sensible approach – unsurprisngly.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 3:42 pm
“The Mana Party says it will travel the country promoting its policies over the next six weeks
Maori activist and Treaty lawyer Annette Sykes said that she, lawyer Moana Jackson, unionist Mike Treen, Auckland University law professor Jane Kelsey and social justice campaigner John Minto had been working on them together”
Cant wait for their public meetings. I’ll be there giving the likes of minto an earful with a loudhailer..bit of his own treatment for once.Mana party.. bunch of racist bleating fucktards…here today , gone tomorrow.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 3:46 pm
Starboard quoted: “Annette Sykes said that she, lawyer Moana Jackson, unionist Mike Treen, Auckland University law professor Jane Kelsey and social justice campaigner John Minto had been working on them together””
Once they meet up with the MOFO himself, Willie Jackson, Matt McCarten et al, it’ll be the biggest gathering of muppets since Jim Henson’s funeral.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 3:49 pm
That is so cruel and harsh.
Approved.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 3:59 pm
“Now one naturally expects massive TV exposure tonight, probably live interviews with both Walrus and the boy.”
Vote:Walrus will duck for cover. Doesn’t like being outwitted which is odd-on if he interviews a partially stupefied penguin
June 27th, 2011 at 4:00 pm
..mite even take one of their shitty little te rango flags along to the meet…crap on it then shoot it like that fat dirtbag iti did to the NZ flag. Speaking of iti..havent heard from the fat little porker for a while..wonder if he’s still breathing.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 4:05 pm
starboard, he’s probably boning up on his te reo in anticipation of the big trial. Urewera 17 and all that.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 4:19 pm
should never have given ‘em a foot in the door. Aussies got the right idea. ( cue gasps of horror from certain handwringing bone carving sickly white liberals on kiwiblog )
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 4:24 pm
Walrus will duck for cover. Doesn’t like being outwitted which is odd-on if he interviews a partially stupefied penguin
Yes it will challenge him Nookin. Hopefully “Happy Feet” will be in a particularly good mood and he won’t harass Walrus and be all difficult. Walrus has probably got the Gaffer out there at the local fish market, right now.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 4:33 pm
You’re taking your chances starboard. If “Off White with an Attitude” reads your comment you’ll get a right bollocking & a Taniwha will take up residency in your swimming pool.
Be very afraid.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 4:35 pm
Anyone see the taniwha item on 60 Minutes last night?
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 4:37 pm
aw wait til milkymike and rodders get a view..will be howls of outrage and diatribe..venomous spitting and hissy fits..
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 4:44 pm
Theres a boo hoo moment for all.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 4:52 pm
Prime time cartoons?
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 4:55 pm
No, it just reviewed various taniwha cases from the past few years
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 4:55 pm
Comedy Channel 10?
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 5:20 pm
starboard @ 4.37pm said “aw wait til milkymike and rodders get a view…”
Not at all. You will recall what I objected to was this
http://www.kiwiblog.co.nz/2011/06/general_debate_17_june_2011.html#comment-843346
If objecting to that sort of language makes me a Maori nationalist in your eyes, then so be it.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 5:25 pm
taniwha belongs in disneyland . Anyone who honestly believes in such a thing should be locked away for a very long time.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 5:31 pm
whats with the selective preaching Wodders..I didnt see you get all offended, object or criticise this loser…
“Black with a Vengeance (214) Says:
Vote:June 17th, 2011 at 10:41 am
Hone carries the Guide to Righting Past Wrongs By Means of Cash Settlements
_______________________________________________________________________
and what do you carry ?
Getting Away With It :The White Muthafuckas Guide to Raping Indigenous Land”
June 27th, 2011 at 5:31 pm
Important fluffy alert update:
Currently listening to the Head of Gastroenterology at Wgtn Hospital who operated, being interviewed by Mary Wilson – “Happy Feet” is… perking up.
Hooray.
Isn’t that good.
I’m sure TV will have the pics, probably more than once. I’m going to tape the whole thing, tonight.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 5:35 pm
starboard – Indeed, because “Black with a Vengeance” is clearly an offensive troll and wants attention (DFTT)
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 5:35 pm
“You’re taking your chances starboard. If “Off White with an Attitude” reads your comment you’ll get a right bollocking & a Taniwha will take up residency in your swimming pool.
Be very afraid”
No need to be afraid Starboard- I have learned from Maori ‘Academics’ that Taniwha (unlike Dragons and the Kraken) can be appeased with cash payouts…keep your credit card handy and I’m sure old Horotiu means you no ill harm….
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 5:45 pm
reid
I dare say that should this geographically challenged bird thrive, the next step will be carting the wretched thing back down to Antarctica at vast expense to the taxpayer. I’d lay odds that the dopey bastard will be sea lion tucker within two days of getting back in the water.
News it may be but people get a bit carried away with this nature in all its glory stuff. Over in my neck of the woods it is near impossible to go for a walk along the shore without stepping in seal shit. I think I preferred much of this wildlife when they were endangered.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 5:47 pm
sure sure Rod..but you chose to pick out my comment and be offened by it , not his…you’re a sickly white liberal Rod ..be gone with you back to the strandard !
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 5:52 pm
Has any one seen or heard from Luc Hansen?
Vote:Dont say we scared him off ?
Or is he using a new sign in ?
or is he holidaying in Afganastan still?
June 27th, 2011 at 5:53 pm
starboard – you don’t appear to regret saying it though
http://www.kiwiblog.co.nz/2011/06/general_debate_18_june_2011.html#comment-843904
and btw I don’t follow The Standard .
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 5:54 pm
Good idea: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/educationnews/8600063/Bright-students-to-get-20000-to-train-as-teachers.html. Note the focus on core skills. No funding for teaching of interpretive dance, twilight golf etc
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 5:56 pm
lilman @5.52pm- Luc was here last week (Mossad haven’t caught up with him yet
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 6:01 pm
Rodders
Don’t keep reminding starboard of those offensive posts.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 6:01 pm
why would I regret saying anything? I speak openly and honestly…you will never be left wondering , and thats the best way to be Rod. I might offend the likes of you and milkymike…so what?
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 6:06 pm
starboard
You want to make offensive comments and pretend they’re true. Don’t be too surprised if you get called on it occasionally, even on Kiwiblog.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 6:10 pm
The taniwha is just Maori fiction used by some iwi to extort money from gullible parties. Plain highway robbery, in other words.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 6:11 pm
The Chinese spread their wings: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/china-business/8598998/Enter-the-dragon-to-save-the-euro.html
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 6:15 pm
Send Mossad to Northcote
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 6:16 pm
Manolo
Just another ancient superstition, like catholicism.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 6:18 pm
“offensive comments and pretend they’re true”
..pretend they’re true?…do show me some of these alleged untrue comments please.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 6:21 pm
Right, but at least Catholicism has inspired a wealth of fine art and culture. On the other hand, what is the Stone Age people’s legacy?
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 6:21 pm
Sigh…check Rodders’s links above.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 6:23 pm
Manolo
Don’t think Maori are in the stone age, actually. BTW, ever been to Te Papa.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 6:41 pm
Just to wade into this ridiculous debate- I’ve been to the Vatican and Sistine Chapel and I’ve also been to Te Papa. One was mindblowing, the other was overpriced,underwhelming and had fat shirtless men poking their tongues out and seemingly trying to scare me…..I’ll take Catholic art and culture anyday..
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 6:44 pm
Longknives
You found the free entry to Te Papa a bit steep?
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 6:50 pm
Manolo..how dare you call the natives stone aged !
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 6:56 pm
I see the Kahui case aint gona go away…the useless father did it..throw the book at the prick.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 7:02 pm
Melanesian and Polynesian (Maori among them) art are at the same primitive level.
Vote:They produced artifacts of little or no relevance, unless you consider the cannibals feasts an advanced artistic expression.
June 27th, 2011 at 7:03 pm
HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term.
The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it
with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One
student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that
if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there
is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more
than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and
death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to
increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the> same,
the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
that, “It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,” and take into
account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be
true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is, therefore,
extinct…… leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
being, which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting, “Oh my God!”
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY “A”.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 7:06 pm
Vote:(where do you find these, nasska?)
June 27th, 2011 at 7:11 pm
Mikenmild- Built itself did it? I was under the impression that the ever-generous NZ taxpayer would have pumped rather a lot of cash into the ridiculous place….All for the glorification of that magnificent Maori ‘Culture’….
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 7:14 pm
Though I didn’t stick round long enough to see the exhibition detailing that fabulous ‘Cultural’ tradition of drinking Lion Red and bashing your kids to death….
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 7:15 pm
Rodders
All over the place though many come from a few hard case mates.
Two salmon are desperately swimming upstream to reach the spawning grounds.
Vote:Exhausted, one turns to the other and says “Bugger this… Let’s stop here and have a wank.”
June 27th, 2011 at 7:16 pm
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 7:22 pm
Longknives
You surely wouldn’t begrudge subsidising our national museum? Te Papa is magnificent. I must have missed the exhibition to which you refer. I’m constantly amazed by the range of fantastic objects in the collection. We’re very lucky to have such a place.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 7:32 pm
Milkymike..te papas just a guilt ridden symbol of sickly white bureaucrats in wellington..
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 7:36 pm
@longknives – I think some people conveniently forget that Te Papa receives taxpayer funding in the region of $23.5 million per year.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 7:38 pm
Te Papa only gets $23.5 million? Should be more.
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 7:45 pm
@longknives – have you changed your moniker?
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 7:45 pm
“Where do you find these, nasska?”
Well they are not found, they are just there when you are born with a sense of humour.
Now all of you fuddy duddies can fuck off for a cup of tea and don’t read this:
Sperm Education – A new twist on an old joke
The newly born sperm was receiving instructions in conception from the instructor.
“As soon as you hear the siren, run for the tunnel and swim in a straight line until you get to the entrance of a damp cavern. At the end of the cavern you will find a red, sticky ball which is the egg.
Address it and say, “I’m a Sperm.” She will answer, I’m the Egg.” From that moment on you will work together to create the embryo. Do you understand?”
The sperm nodded affirmatively and the instructor said, “Then, good luck!”
Two days later, the sperm is taking a nap when he hears the siren. He wakes up immediately and runs to the tunnel.
A multitude of sperm swim behind him. He knows he has to arrive first. When he nears the entrance to the cavern, he looks back and sees that he is far ahead of the other sperm.
He is able to swim at a slower pace but does approach
the red, sticky ball.
When, at last, he reaches the red, sticky ball, he smiles and says, “Hi, I’m a sperm.”
The red sticky ball smiles and says, “Hi. I’m a tonsil.”
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 7:52 pm
What men really mean:
I love you – any chance of a shag later?
Vote:I love you so much – I really do want that shag you know.
I love you with all my heart – any chance of a blowjob thrown in with the shag?
I love you with all my heart and soul – and swallow please?
June 27th, 2011 at 8:07 pm
thx nasska
and here are a few more…
Vote:http://www.angelfire.com/ct2/funnyfacts/menwant.html
June 27th, 2011 at 8:17 pm
Rodders, send that to the commy bitch Bradford, dare ya!
Vote:June 27th, 2011 at 8:22 pm
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to The Warehouse. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women – she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Warehouse Store Manager.
Dear Mrs. Smith,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store.. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. J.Smith are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
1. Feb 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s trolleys when they weren’t looking.
2. March 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. March 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.
4. March 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away? This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. April 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
6. May 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
7. June 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sizes of funnels.
8. June 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’
9. June 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a foetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’ And last, but not least:
10. June 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.
So, please don’t bring him back.
The Manager.
Vote:June 28th, 2011 at 7:15 am
Apologies for wrongly posting it under today’s Vote for Change. Here is more appropriate:
What are the chances this savage animal is a bludger, either unemployed or a sickness beneficiary?
Vote:http://www.stuff.co.nz/dominion-post/news/national/5195191/Man-charged-after-baby-hurt-during-fight
June 28th, 2011 at 7:57 am
Manolo
Statistically, you could well be right. His ‘occupation’ might be released after he appears in court.
Vote:June 28th, 2011 at 4:30 pm
“Longknives-You surely wouldn’t begrudge subsidising our national museum?”
Not at all if it were indeed a ‘National Museum’… I regularly visit the Auckland Museum and find it a fascinating place, It showcases Maori, Pacific and European cultures, has a magnificent war museum and and seems to have a balanced and accurate perspective on History. Sadly Te Papa seems determined to re-write and brainwash New Zealanders with another recently fabricated version….
Vote:June 28th, 2011 at 4:35 pm
Longknives
I think you have Te Papa wrong. I often go there. As is the way with kids, I usually see the same things – Awesome Forces and Bush City. The big exhibitions are really good too.
Wish I could go to the Ak one more – it”s really good.
Vote: