General Debate 27 June 2011

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Manolo

Just another ancient superstition, like catholicism.

Right, but at least Catholicism has inspired a wealth of fine art and culture. On the other hand, what is the Stone Age people’s legacy?
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June 27, 2011 6:21pm
mikenmild

Sigh…check Rodders’s links above.
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June 27, 2011 6:21pm
mikenmild

Manolo

Don’t think Maori are in the stone age, actually. BTW, ever been to Te Papa.
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June 27, 2011 6:23pm
Longknives

Just to wade into this ridiculous debate- I’ve been to the Vatican and Sistine Chapel and I’ve also been to Te Papa. One was mindblowing, the other was overpriced,underwhelming and had fat shirtless men poking their tongues out and seemingly trying to scare me…..I’ll take Catholic art and culture anyday..
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June 27, 2011 6:41pm
mikenmild

Longknives

You found the free entry to Te Papa a bit steep?
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June 27, 2011 6:44pm
starboard

Manolo..how dare you call the natives stone aged !
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June 27, 2011 6:50pm
starboard

I see the Kahui case aint gona go away…the useless father did it..throw the book at the prick.
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June 27, 2011 6:56pm
Manolo

Melanesian and Polynesian (Maori among them) art are at the same primitive level.
They produced artifacts of little or no relevance, unless you consider the cannibals feasts an advanced artistic expression.
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June 27, 2011 7:02pm
nasska

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term.

The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it
with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One
student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that
if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there
is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more
than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and
death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to
increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the> same,
the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
that, “It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,” and take into
account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be
true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is, therefore,
extinct…… leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
being, which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting, “Oh my God!”

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY “A”.
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June 27, 2011 7:03pm
Rodders

😀
(where do you find these, nasska?)
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June 27, 2011 7:06pm
Longknives

Mikenmild- Built itself did it? I was under the impression that the ever-generous NZ taxpayer would have pumped rather a lot of cash into the ridiculous place….All for the glorification of that magnificent Maori ‘Culture’….
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June 27, 2011 7:11pm
Longknives

Though I didn’t stick round long enough to see the exhibition detailing that fabulous ‘Cultural’ tradition of drinking Lion Red and bashing your kids to death….
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June 27, 2011 7:14pm
nasska

Rodders

All over the place though many come from a few hard case mates.

Two salmon are desperately swimming upstream to reach the spawning grounds.
Exhausted, one turns to the other and says “Bugger this… Let’s stop here and have a wank.”
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June 27, 2011 7:15pm
Rodders

😉
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June 27, 2011 7:16pm
mikenmild

Longknives

You surely wouldn’t begrudge subsidising our national museum? Te Papa is magnificent. I must have missed the exhibition to which you refer. I’m constantly amazed by the range of fantastic objects in the collection. We’re very lucky to have such a place.
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June 27, 2011 7:22pm
starboard

Milkymike..te papas just a guilt ridden symbol of sickly white bureaucrats in wellington..
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June 27, 2011 7:32pm
Elaycee

@longknives – I think some people conveniently forget that Te Papa receives taxpayer funding in the region of $23.5 million per year.

😉
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June 27, 2011 7:36pm
mikenmild

Te Papa only gets $23.5 million? Should be more.
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June 27, 2011 7:38pm
Elaycee

@longknives – have you changed your moniker?

😉
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June 27, 2011 7:45pm
Steve

“Where do you find these, nasska?”
Well they are not found, they are just there when you are born with a sense of humour.

Now all of you fuddy duddies can fuck off for a cup of tea and don’t read this:

Sperm Education – A new twist on an old joke

The newly born sperm was receiving instructions in conception from the instructor.

“As soon as you hear the siren, run for the tunnel and swim in a straight line until you get to the entrance of a damp cavern. At the end of the cavern you will find a red, sticky ball which is the egg.

Address it and say, “I’m a Sperm.” She will answer, I’m the Egg.” From that moment on you will work together to create the embryo. Do you understand?”

The sperm nodded affirmatively and the instructor said, “Then, good luck!”

Two days later, the sperm is taking a nap when he hears the siren. He wakes up immediately and runs to the tunnel.

A multitude of sperm swim behind him. He knows he has to arrive first. When he nears the entrance to the cavern, he looks back and sees that he is far ahead of the other sperm.

He is able to swim at a slower pace but does approach
the red, sticky ball.

When, at last, he reaches the red, sticky ball, he smiles and says, “Hi, I’m a sperm.”

The red sticky ball smiles and says, “Hi. I’m a tonsil.”
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June 27, 2011 7:45pm
nasska

What men really mean:

I love you – any chance of a shag later?
I love you so much – I really do want that shag you know.
I love you with all my heart – any chance of a blowjob thrown in with the shag?
I love you with all my heart and soul – and swallow please?
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June 27, 2011 7:52pm
Rodders

thx nasska 🙂

and here are a few more…
http://www.angelfire.com/ct2/funnyfacts/menwant.html
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June 27, 2011 8:07pm
Steve

Rodders, send that to the commy bitch Bradford, dare ya!
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June 27, 2011 8:17pm
Elaycee

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to The Warehouse. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women – she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Warehouse Store Manager.

Dear Mrs. Smith,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store.. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. J.Smith are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

1. Feb 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s trolleys when they weren’t looking.

2. March 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. March 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.

4. March 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away? This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. April 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

6. May 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

7. June 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sizes of funnels.

8. June 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’

9. June 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a foetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’ And last, but not least:

10. June 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.

So, please don’t bring him back.

The Manager.
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June 27, 2011 8:22pm
Manolo

Apologies for wrongly posting it under today’s Vote for Change. Here is more appropriate:

What are the chances this savage animal is a bludger, either unemployed or a sickness beneficiary?
http://www.stuff.co.nz/dominion-post/news/national/5195191/Man-charged-after-baby-hurt-during-fight
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June 28, 2011 7:15am
mikenmild

Manolo

Statistically, you could well be right. His ‘occupation’ might be released after he appears in court.
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June 28, 2011 7:57am
Longknives

“Longknives-You surely wouldn’t begrudge subsidising our national museum?”

Not at all if it were indeed a ‘National Museum’… I regularly visit the Auckland Museum and find it a fascinating place, It showcases Maori, Pacific and European cultures, has a magnificent war museum and and seems to have a balanced and accurate perspective on History. Sadly Te Papa seems determined to re-write and brainwash New Zealanders with another recently fabricated version….
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June 28, 2011 4:30pm
mikenmild

Longknives

I think you have Te Papa wrong. I often go there. As is the way with kids, I usually see the same things – Awesome Forces and Bush City. The big exhibitions are really good too.

Wish I could go to the Ak one more – it”s really good.
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June 28, 2011 4:35pm

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