Duck v Whale
Felix Marwick at NewstalkZB reports:
It seems cash as well as pride will be on the line in a cycle race between Labour MP Trevor Mallard and right wing blogger Cameron Slater.
The two will go head to head in Auckland later this month with both antagonists already talking up their chances online.
It has now got to the stage where money is involved.
Blogger and potential ACT candidate Cathy Odgers is offering to put $1,000 on Mr Slater to win.
Trevor Mallard’s asking if she’s prepared to take the bet to $2,000, and is confident he and his colleagues will be able to match it.
Readers may recall I also pledged $1,000 to charity based on the race outcome. The Crippled Children’s Society (CCS) if Trevor wins and the Mental health Foundation if Cameron wins.
The race looks to be on Sunday 21 August in Auckland.
Sadly our stupid nanny state gambling laws means it is illegal for anyone but the TAB to run a book on the outcome of the race. It is even illegal for iPredict to do a futures market on the race. It would be fascinating to see what the market prediction would be.
I’d have to say that Trevor would be considered the favourite and Cameron the underdog.
Trevor is basically a professional full-time cyclist, an amateur part-time blogger and an occasional MP. He did the 160 km Taupo cycle race in under 5 hours in 2009. Off memory he was in the top 5% of cyclists for his age group.
Cameron got on a bicycle around three months ago for the first time in 10+ years. Now Cameron has been training pretty hard, doing 20 km rides most days. But Trevor used to be able to do 20 kms in around half an hour. Whale does have a slight advantage with the course being local to him.
Now of course the big factor is Trevor’s bike crash and broken bones. If Trevor had not had his injury, it wouldn’t even be a contest. What we don’t know is to what extent Trevor is still injured. The crash was just over four and a half months ago which normally would be enough time to rebuild some of the leg muscles etc. And I suspect his overall level of fitness is still pretty good.
So in two and a half weeks we’ll find out whether Trevor remains king of the road, of if the underdog manages to beat the man he calls the cripple. The only thing certain is that the winner will gloat!
August 3rd, 2011 at 1:59 pm
Sub 5 for Taupo is a good time, in anyones book. Whale will struggle, but then thats not the point – hes already won. Which is the point.
Hatepe Hill sorts out the men from the boys. Should have used it as a hill climb challenge, or substituted Albany Hill. Go Whale
August 3rd, 2011 at 2:05 pm
hmmokrightitis is quite right, the whale has already won, by goading Mallard into this.
Won’t matter if the whale is 2 hours behind, he is still the winner in this particular battle.
Mallard just wants to try and put a spin on his loss, by making out it is all about charity. BOLLOCKS>>>
August 3rd, 2011 at 2:09 pm
Not in Trevor’s wildest dreams would he be able to ride 20km in 30 mins solo. Possibly in a bunch he might be to average 40km/h but i would doubt he would keep that up for 30 minutes and that is a far cry from being able to do that solo (and as a footnote I have competed at World Ironman champs so I would like to think I know a thing or two about cycling)
[DPF: Trevor has not claimed that. I estimated that based on his Taupo cycle time. Your point on solo vs race is well made]
August 3rd, 2011 at 2:10 pm
A bit late for Trev to come back on Cactus with a raising of the stake. He obviously didn’t have any confidence at the time but is now feeling good about himself and wants to raise the ante.
August 3rd, 2011 at 2:10 pm
What do you call a cross between Cameron Slater and Trevor Mallard?……… Moby Duck (yes i know I’m repeating myself)
I quite like Trev, even though I don’t support his party, so I’m looking forward to seeing Whale Oil Blubber.
August 3rd, 2011 at 2:19 pm
Bugger the duck. C’mon the Whale.
August 3rd, 2011 at 2:30 pm
It’s amazing how far that regular daily 20km commuting type riding will go fitness wise. If support riders arenot allowed then Cam just has to suck wheel the whole way and smash Trev in a final sprint.
August 3rd, 2011 at 2:38 pm
Duck buggering, thats illegal isnt it, or is it part of the entry criteria for Labour?
Race should be the race of truth, timetrial, even though I suspect they are using roadies and not TT bikes.
Can you imagine the uproar from the left, and the SubStandard in particular, if the Duck crashed and broke something – again? Bound to be a RWNJ conspiracy in there somewhere
August 3rd, 2011 at 2:38 pm
Mallard will lose. Fucking Labour cunt retards, they can’t ride a bicycle any more than they can run the economy. Cameron is the honest one here and that is why he will win.
August 3rd, 2011 at 2:57 pm
Whatever the outcome it was sporting of Whale to take on the Duck in a cycle race, a sport which obviously the latter excels in.
Whales original response to the challenge involved a few rounds in the boxing ring as well which Daffy declined with indecent haste.
August 3rd, 2011 at 3:26 pm
Daigotsu, your level of intelligence and perception is truly astounding.
August 3rd, 2011 at 3:27 pm
Elaycee (835) Says:
August 3rd, 2011 at 2:19 pm
Bugger the duck. C’mon the Whale.
Do you mean Duck buggers whale
or Whale buggers duck.
Either way I just cannot conjure up a nice image.
August 3rd, 2011 at 3:36 pm
“Readers may recall I also pledged $1,000 to charity based on the race outcome. The Crippled Children’s Society (CCS) if Trevor wins and the Mental health Foundation if Cameron wins.”
That made me lol
August 3rd, 2011 at 3:52 pm
I thought there was a part 2, and that was clay-bird shooting at a range…
Is that not so…?
August 3rd, 2011 at 4:27 pm
@Viking2 (4,617) – well spotted.
I could have suggested that Whale becomes a quacker smacker / duck stuffer / bill filler / duck plucker / thug slugger – it all means the same.
It would be poetic justice if quacker gets several punctures and the Whale just gets on and takes the money….
Or Whale could simply take a leaf out of Daffy’s book and just whack him when he isn’t looking.
August 3rd, 2011 at 4:39 pm
Go the Whale!
August 3rd, 2011 at 5:04 pm
As both are suckers of the taxpayer tit I’d like both to lose but on reflection I’ll cheer for Trev – at least he works part time.
August 3rd, 2011 at 5:06 pm
A bike pump thru the Ducks spokes will work wonders!
Go Whale!
August 3rd, 2011 at 5:08 pm
I would be impressed if Daffy could maintain an average 40kph for 1/2 even on a flat course. I told whale to avoid a course with hills, I mean hills not upward slopes as only legs with pain memory can avoid a blow out
August 3rd, 2011 at 5:14 pm
Mallard vs Slater, with that boozy lawyer from Singapore dipping her “Me too!” oar in.
All that this stupid stunt illustrates, is the mentality of political blogging-types…
August 3rd, 2011 at 5:27 pm
Trevor was still limping quite badly around Parliament this afternoon.
August 3rd, 2011 at 5:27 pm
Sub 5-hours is a very respectable time for Taupo. Even in a Peloton or pace-line, your legs have to do the work. Especially on the hills.
There’s no question Whale will lose the race. The only question is by how much?
For the record, I dislike Whale and Mallard equally. But I love cycling.
August 3rd, 2011 at 5:45 pm
@gump, actually I like them both equally but given I haven’t met either of them that isn’t a surprise. I totally agree with DPF that this would be a great event to place a bet on. I wouldn’t write the Whale off purely on the ground he is one of the most determined person’s I have ever encountered. I am guessing he has done a lot of research on cycling and has found someone who actually understands the sport and has been listening to the advice they have been giving him.
Anyone know the course they are doing that would be interesting. Might have to gab my camera bag and pack the camera’s.
Is the blond person sending up a bottle of Champers for the podium ?
August 3rd, 2011 at 5:55 pm
He has indeed IH; a cycle shop in Mt Eden has given him a racing bike, and lots of advice. He’s lost a truckload of weight, and his blog-posts have been right on the money lately, which suggests that the exercise has helped him in other ways. As you say he is determined; some would argue it’s more bloody-mindedness though.
All power to the Whale!
August 3rd, 2011 at 6:04 pm
I would be keen to watch .. and the blonde chick should supply a bottle or two since the “win” was forced by the bloggers “union”.
August 3rd, 2011 at 6:34 pm
IV2
” it’s more bloody-mindedness though.”
Couldn’t have said it better. Will try to photo the event if I find out the course and will share photos with you. However if the boss decides we are going to work or going fishing it will kill my ability to do so. Work because like you ( I assume ) we are a small business and work comes first. The reward for that is that fishing comes second to work and when the boss says we are going fishing, we are going fishing.
August 3rd, 2011 at 6:51 pm
I don’t know what Trevor’s mobility is like on bike, but it is still pretty poor off it. He hobbles, can’t even twist properly to make it past someone in a tight coridoor. Injury was very bad, almost had hip replaced.
August 3rd, 2011 at 6:55 pm
we are a small business and work comes first. The reward for that is that fishing comes second to work and when the boss says we are going fishing, we are going fishing.
Don’t forget the other reward.
You still sleep with the boss.
August 3rd, 2011 at 8:14 pm
Based on the fact that Mallard is supposed to be the campaign chief for the ” we hate the productive” party and Cam has managed to goad this twat into a massive distraction I reckon it is already a massive win for the Whale.
The only note of caution I would add is that Cam should probably put some form of strengthening down the length of his arms. Possibly some wooden dowling or some form of alumininium piping. If he does not those angel hair noodle arms of his will undoubtedly fail and he will end up smashing that enormous head into his handlebars.
Those of us who know him well often refer to him as T-rex because of the head-arm situation.
And yes dickhead, I have booked a hotel and will travel down from the Far North to be at the startline with you.
August 3rd, 2011 at 8:39 pm
DPF you don’t want to go down this road. As you know I requested you give me a lifetime ban. Do it. This is unbecoming of you. And if by some miracle I ever do make it, you don’t want people like me wanting to take revenge out on yourself.
Make a judgment call, like a real man, lifetime ban or accept my comments.
None of this awaiting moderation shit.
I have been posting here for what five years now, maybe more.
[DPF: As you requested you do have a lifetime ban. You have multiple logins. I thought they were all disabled, but this one slipped through. Have a nice life]
August 4th, 2011 at 4:14 am
A bike race? Oh God, and will they go sup coffee in the mall afterwards like the women they are?
Come on boys get out yr knuckle dusters- back ally punch up, best of three, hopefully drunk. Could go either way.
August 4th, 2011 at 7:11 am
…and Whale is a full time slob
August 4th, 2011 at 7:32 am
Lets hope Whalegrease doesnt have a heart condition
August 4th, 2011 at 3:34 pm
I can see we will soon be looking at another inept performance from the duck. Good old Locky put him in his place yesterday and boy did he squirm. He is now back on his nest counting what is left of his plucked feathers.
August 4th, 2011 at 10:18 pm
I’ve done Taupo sub 5hrs a few years back. That required serious training, and Mallard is clearly VERY fit to have achieved such a benchmark. He will wipe the road with Whale blubber I’m afraid.