This will get me banned in Pakistan

November 19th, 2011 at 1:35 pm by David Farrar

The Guardian reports:

Guardians of linguistic purity have long warned against the pernicious impact that text messaging may have on the young, but Pakistan officials have taken such concerns to a new extreme by demanding that mobile phone operators block all text messages using offensive words.

With a creativity and dedication to the task unusual for local officialdom, the country’s telecoms regulator has issued a list of more than 1000 words and phrases which will be banned.

After serious deliberation and consultation, officials from the Telecommunication Authority (PTA) have come up with more than 50 phrases using the word “fuck” and 17 involving “butt”.

The list includes several apparently innocuous words and phrases, including “flatulence”, “deposit” and “fondle”. Others would likely only make sense to frustrated teenagers.

Among the more printable terms are “strap-on”, “beat your meat”, “crotch rot”, “love pistol”, “pocket pool” and “quickie”.

The officials’ flair for the task was apparent, with prohibition embracing more figurative language, such as “flogging the dolphin”, and 51 terms with the suffix “ass” – although only one variation of the word ‘arse’. There were 17 variants on “tit” and 33 on “cock”, with officials managing to produce eight obscenities involving the word “foot”.

I’ve managed to get hold of a full list of the 1,109 words or phrases banned in Pakistan. They are included over the break.

Would be fun having a job where you have to know all the dirty words so you can ban them.

There should be a competition for who can write the best short-story that involves all 1,109 words!

1. A.S.S.

2. ANAL

3. ANAL ANNIE

4. ANAL SEX

5. ANALANNIE

6. ANALSEX

7. ANUS

8. ARSE

9. ASS

10. ASS BAGGER

11. ASS BLASTER

12. ASS CLOWN

13. ASS COWBOY

14. ASS FUCK

15. ASS FUCKER

16. ASS HOLE

17. ASS HOLES

18. ASS HORE

19. ASS JOCKEY

20. ASS KISS

21. ASS KISSER

22. ASS KLOWN

23. ASS LICK

24. ASS LICKER

25. ASS LOVER

26. ASS MAN

27. ASS MONKEY

28. ASS MUNCH

29. ASS MUNCHER

30. ASS PACKER

31. ASS PIRATE

32. ASS PUPPIES

33. ASS RANGER

34. ASS WHORE

35. ASS WIPE

36. ASSBAGGER

37. ASSBLASTER

38. ASSCLOWN

39. ASSCOWBOY

40. ASSFUCK

 

 

 

41. ASSFUCKER

42. ASSHOLE

43. ASSHOLES

44. ASSHORE

45. ASSJOCKEY

46. ASSKISS

47. ASSKISSER

48. ASSKLOWN

49. ASSLICK

50. ASSLICKER

51. ASSLOVER

52. ASSMAN

53. ASSMONKEY

54. ASSMUNCH

55. ASSMUNCHER

56. ASSPACKER

57. ASSPIRATE

58. ASSPUPPIES

59. ASSRANGER

60. ASSWHORE

61. ASSWIPE

62. ATHLETES FOOT

63. ATHLETESFOOT

64. AXING THE WEASEL

65. B HARD

66. BACK DOOR

67. BACK DOOR MAN

68. BACKDOOR

69. BACKDOORMAN

70. BACKSEAT

71. BAD ASS

72. BAD FUCK

73. BADFUCK

74. BALL LICKER

75. BALL SACK

76. BALLLICKER

77. BALLSACK

78. BANGING

79. BARELY LEGAL

80. BARELYLEGAL

81. BARF

 

 

 

82. BARF FACE

83. BARFACE

84. BARFFACE

85. BASTARD

86. BAZONGAS

87. BAZOOMS

88. BEASTALITY

89. BEASTIALITY

90. BEAT OFF

91. BEAT YOUR MEAT

92. BEATOFF

93. BEAT-OFF

94. BEATYOURMEAT

95. BI SEXUAL

96. BIATCH

97. BIG ASS

98. BIG BITCH

99. BIG BITCH

100. BIG BUTT

101. BIGASS

102. BIGBASTARD

103. BIGBUTT

104. BISEXUAL

105. BI-SEXUAL

106. BITCH

107. BITCHES

108. BITCHIN

109. BITCHY

110. BITE ME

111. BITEME

112. BLACK OUT

113. BLACKOUT

114. BLOW JOB

115. BLOWJOB

116. BONER

117. BOOBIES

118. BOOBS

119. BOODY

120. BREAST

121. BREAST JOB

122. BREAST LOVER

 

 

 

123. BREAST MAN

124. BREASTJOB

125. BREASTLOVER

126. BREASTMAN

127. BUDWEISER

128. BULL CRAP

129. BULL DIKE

130. BULL DYKE

131. BULL SHIT

132. BULLCRAP

133. BULLDIKE

134. BULLDYKE

135. BULLSHIT

136. BUMBLE FUCK

137. BUMBLEFUCK

138. BUMFUCK

139. BUNGHOLE

140. BUTCH BABES

141. BUTCH DIKE

142. BUTCH DYKE

143. BUTCHBABES

144. BUTCHDIKE

145. BUTCHDYKE

146. BUTT BANG

147. BUTT FUCK

148. BUTT FUCKER

149. BUTT FUCKERS

150. BUTT HEAD

151. BUTT MAN

152. BUTT PLUG

153. BUTT STAIN

154. BUTTBANG

155. BUTT-BANG

156. BUTTFACE

157. BUTTFUCK

158. BUTT-FUCK

159. BUTTFUCKER

160. BUTT-FUCKER

161. BUTTFUCKERS

162. BUTT-FUCKERS

163. BUTTHEAD

 

 

 

164. BUTTMAN

165. BUTTPIRATE

166. BUTTPLUG

167. BUTTSTAIN

168. CAMEL TOE

169. CAMELTOE

170. CARPET MUNCHER

171. CARPETMUNCHER

172. CARRUTH

173. CHERRY POPPER

174. CHERRYPOPPER

175. CHICK SLICK

176. CHICKSLICK

177. CLAM DIGGER

178. CLAM DIVER

179. CLAMDIGGER

180. CLAMDIVER

181. CLIT

182. CLITORIS

183. COCK

184. COCK BLOCK

185. COCK BLOCKER

186. COCK COWBOY

187. COCK FIGHT

188. COCK KNOB

189. COCK LICKER

190. COCK LOVER

191. COCK NOB

192. COCK QUEEN

193. COCK RIDER

194. COCK SMITH

195. COCK SUCKER

196. COCK TAIL

197. COCK TEASE

198. COCKBLOCK

199. COCKBLOCKER

200. COCKCOWBOY

201. COCKFIGHT

202. COCKHEAD

203. COCKKNOB

204. COCKLICKER

 

 

 

205. COCKLOVER

206. COCKNOB

207. COCKQUEEN

208. COCKRIDER

209. COCKS MAN

210. COCKSMAN

211. COCKSMITH

212. COCKSUCER

213. COCKSUCKER

214. COCKTAIL

215. COCKTEASE

216. COCKY

217. CONDOM

218. COPULATE

219. CORN HOLE

220. CORNHOLE

221. CRACK PIPE

222. CRACK WHORE

223. CRACKPIPE

224. CRACKWHORE

225. CRACK-WHORE

226. CRAP

227. CRAPPY

228. CREAMY

229. CROTCH

230. CROTCH JOCKEY

231. CROTCH MONKEY

232. CROTCH ROT

233. CROTCHJOCKEY

234. CROTCHMONKEY

235. CROTCHROT

236. CUM

237. CUM BUBBLE

238. CUM FEST

239. CUM JOCKEY

240. CUM QUAT

241. CUM QUEEN

242. CUM SHOT

243. CUMBUBBLE

244. CUMFEST

245. CUMJOCKEY

 

 

 

246. CUMM

247. CUMMING

248. CUMQUAT

249. CUMQUEEN

250. CUMSHOT

251. CUNNILINGUS

252. CUNT

253. CUNT FUCK

254. CUNT FUCKER

255. CUNT LICKER

256. CUNTFUCK

257. CUNTFUCKER

258. CUNTLICKER

259. CYBER SEX

260. CYBER SLIMER

261. CYBERSEX

262. CYBERSLIMER

263. DAHMER

264. DAMN

265. DAMN IT

266. DAMNIT

267. DATNIGGA

268. DEAP THROAT

269. DEAPER

270. DEAPTHROAT

271. DEEP THROAT

272. DEEPER

273. DEEPTHROAT

274. DEFECATE

275. DEPOSIT

276. DEVIL

277. DICK BRAIN

278. DICK FART

279. DICK FOR BRAINS

280. DICK HEAD

281. DICK LICK

282. DICK LICKER

283. DICK LIKCER

284. DICK WAD

285. DICK WEED

286. DICKBRAIN

 

 

 

287. DICKFORBRAINS

288. DICKHEAD

289. DICKLESS

290. DICKLICK

291. DICKLICKER

292. DICKMAN

293. DICKWAD

294. DICKWEED

295. DIKE

296. DILDO

297. DIP STICK

298. DIPSTICK

299. DIRTY HO

300. DIXIE DIKE

301. DIXIE DYKE

302. DIXIEDIKE

303. DIXIEDYKE

304. DO ME

305. DOGGIE STYLE

306. DOGGIESTYLE

307. DOGGY STLYE

308. DOGGYSTYLE

309. DOME

310. DONG

311. DOPE

312. DRAG QUEEN

313. DRAGQUEEN

314. DRAGQWEEN

315. DRIP DICK

316. DRIPDICK

317. DRUNK

318. DRUNKEN

319. DUMB ASS

320. DUMB BITCH

321. DUMB FUCK

322. DUMBASS

323. DUMBBITCH

324. DUMBFUCK

325. EASY SLUT

326. EASYSLUT

327. EAT ME

 

 

 

328. EAT PUSSY

329. EATBALLS

330. EATME

331. EATPUSSY

332. EJACULATE

333. ERECTION

334. EVL

335. EXCREMENT

336. F.U.C.K.

337. FACE FUCKER

338. FACEFUCKER

339. FAGGOT

340. FAGOT

341. FAIRY

342. FANNY FUCKER

343. FANNYFUCKER

344. FART

345. FAST FUCK

346. FASTFUCK

347. FAT ASS

348. FAT FUCK

349. FAT FUCKER

350. FATASS

351. FATFUCK

352. FATFUCKER

353. FATSO

354. FELLATIO

355. FEMME

356. FINGER FOOD

357. FINGER FUCK

358. FINGER FUCKER

359. FINGERFOOD

360. FINGERFUCK

361. FINGERFUCKER

362. FIST FUCK

363. FIST FUCKER

364. FISTFUCK

365. FISTFUCKER

366. FISTING

367. FLASHER

368. FLATULENCE

 

 

 

369. FLOGGIN THE DOLPHIN

370. FONDLE

371. FOOT FUCK

372. FOOT FUCKER

373. FOOT LICKER

374. FOOTACTION

375. FOOTFUCK

376. FOOTFUCKER

377. FOOTLICKER

378. FOOTSTAR

379. FORE SKIN

380. FORESKIN

381. FORNICATE

382. FOUR 20

383. FOUR TWENTY

384. FOUR20

385. FOURTWENTY

386. FREAK FUCK

387. FREAKFUCK

388. FREAKY FUCKER

389. FREAKYFUCKER

390. FREE FUCK

391. FREEFUCK

392. FUCK

393. FUCK BAG

394. FUCK BUDDY

395. FUCK FACE

396. FUCK FEST

397. FUCK FREAK

398. FUCK FRIEND

399. FUCK HEAD

400. FUCK HER

401. FUCK IT

402. FUCK KNOB

403. FUCK ME

404. FUCK ME HARD

405. FUCK MONKEY

406. FUCK OFF

407. FUCK PIG

408. FUCK THEM

409. FUCK WHORE

 

 

 

410. FUCK YOU

411. FUCKA

412. FUCKABLE

413. FUCKBAG

414. FUCKBUDDY

415. FUCKED

416. FUCKED UP

417. FUCKEDUP

418. FUCKER

419. FUCKERS

420. FUCKFACE

421. FUCKFEST

422. FUCKFREAK

423. FUCKFRIEND

424. FUCKHEAD

425. FUCKHER

426. FUCKIN

427. FUCKIN A

428. FUCKIN NUTS

429. FUCKIN RIGHT

430. FUCKINA

431. FUCKING

432. FUCKING A

433. FUCKING BITCH

434. FUCKING NUTS

435. FUCKINGBITCH

436. FUCKINNUTS

437. FUCKINRIGHT

438. FUCKIT

439. FUCKKNOB

440. FUCKME

441. FUCKMEHARD

442. FUCKMONKEY

443. FUCKOFF

444. FUCKPIG

445. FUCKWHORE

446. FUCKYOU

447. FUDGE PAKCERS

448. FUN FUCK

449. FUNFUCK

450. FUUCK

 

 

 

451. G UNIT

452. GANG BANG

453. GANG BANGER

454. GANGBANG

455. GANGBANGER

456. GAY

457. GAY ASS

458. GAY MUTHA FUCKIN QUEER

459. GAY PRIDE

460. GAYMUTHAFUCKINWHORE

461. GENITAL

462. GET IT ON

463. GETITON

464. GIEHN

465. GIVE HEAD

466. GIVEHEAD

467. GLAZED DONUT

468. GLAZEDDONUT

469. GO TO HELL

470. GOD DAMED MUTHA FUCKA

471. GOD DAMIT

472. GOD DAMN

473. GOD DAMNED

474. GOD MANIT

475. GODDAMIT

476. GODDAMN

477. GODDAMNED

478. GODDAMNES

479. GODDAMNIT

480. GODDAMNMUTHAFUCKER

481. GONORREHEA

482. GONZAGAS

483. GOOK

484. GOT JESUS

485. GOT2HAVEIT

486. GOTOHELL

487. G-UNIT

488. HAND JOB

489. HANDJOB

490. HARD ON

491. HARDER

 

 

 

492. HARDON

493. HAREM

494. HE HATE ME

495. HEAD FUCK

496. HEAD LIGHTS

497. HEADFUCK

498. HEADLIGHTS

499. HEHATEME

500. HELL NO

501. HELL YES

502. HELLNO

503. HELLYES

504. HEN HOUSE

505. HENHOUSE

506. HERPES

507. HERSHEY HI WAY

508. HERSHEYHIGHWAY

509. HERSHEYHIWAY

510. HERSHY HIGH WAY

511. HO MO

512. HOBO

513. HOLE

514. HOLE STUFFER

515. HOLESTUFFER

516. HOMO

517. HOMO BANGERS

518. HOMO SEXUAL

519. HOMOBANGERS

520. HOMOSEXUAL

521. HONKERS

522. HONKEY

523. HOOKER

524. HOOKERS

525. HOOTERS

526. HORE

527. HORNEY

528. HORNY

529. HORSESHIT

530. HOSE JOB

531. HOSEJOB

532. HOSER

 

 

 

533. HOSTAGE

534. HOT DAMN

535. HOT PUSSY

536. HOT TO TROT

537. HOT2TROT

538. HOTDAMN

539. HOTPUSSY

540. HOTTOTROT

541. HUSSY

542. HUSTLER

543. ID10T

544. IDIOT

545. IDOIT

546. IN THE ASS

547. IN THE BUFF

548. INGIN

549. INSEST

550. INTER COURSE

551. INTER RACIAL

552. INTERCOURSE

553. INTERRACIAL

554. INTHEASS

555. INTHEBUFF

556. JACK THE RIPPER

557. JACKASS

558. JACKOFF

559. JACKTHERIPPER

560. JAP

561. JAP CRAP

562. JAPCRAP

563. JERK OFF

564. JERKOFF

565. JESUS CHIRST

566. JESUSCHRIST

567. JISM

568. JIZ

569. JIZ JUICE

570. JIZIM

571. JIZJUICE

572. JIZZ

573. JIZZIM

 

 

 

574. JOINT

575. JUGGALO

576. JUGS

577. K MART

578. KILL

579. KILLER

580. KILLING

581. KISS ASS

582. KISSASS

583. KKK

584. KMART

585. KNOCKERS

586. KOON

587. KOTEX

588. KRAP

589. KRAPPY

590. KUM

591. KUM BUBBLE

592. KUM QUAT

593. KUMBUBBLE

594. KUMBULLBE

595. KUMQUAT

596. KUNT

597. KY

598. KY JELLY

599. LACTATE

600. LADY BOOG

601. LAID

602. LAP DANCE

603. LAPDANCE

604. LESBAIN

605. LESBAYN

606. LESBIAN

607. LESBIN

608. LESBO

609. LEZ

610. LEZ BE

611. LEZ BE FRIENDS

612. LEZBE

613. LEZBEFRIENDS

614. LEZBO

 

 

 

615. LEZZ

616. LEZZO

617. LICK ME

618. LICKER

619. LICKME

620. LIMP DICK

621. LIMPDICK

622. LIMY

623. LIVE SEX

624. LIVESEX

625. LOLITA

626. LOOSER

627. LOTION

628. LOVE BONE

629. LOVE GOO

630. LOVE GUN

631. LOVE JUICE

632. LOVE MUSCLE

633. LOVE PISTOL

634. LOVE ROCKET

635. LOVEBONE

636. LOVEGOO

637. LOVEGUN

638. LOVEJUICE

639. LOVEMUSCLE

640. LOVEPISTOL

641. LOVEROCKET

642. LOW LIFE

643. LOWLIFE

644. LUBE JOB

645. LUBEJOB

646. LUCKY CAMEL TOE

647. LUCKYCAMMELTOE

648. MAMS

649. MAN HATER

650. MAN PASTE

651. MANHATER

652. MANPASTE

653. MARY JANE

654. MARYJANE

655. MASTABATE

 

 

 

656. MASTABATER

657. MASTER BLASTER

658. MASTERBATE

659. MASTERBLASTER

660. MASTRABATOR

661. MATTRESS PRINCESS

662. MATTRESSPRINCESS

663. MEAT BEATTER

664. MEATBEATTER

665. MOLEST

666. MOLESTER

667. MOLESTOR

668. MONEY SHOT

669. MONEYSHOT

670. MOTHER FUCKER

671. MOTHER LOVE BONE

672. MOTHERFUCK

673. MOTHERFUCKER

674. MOTHERLOVEBONE

675. MUFF

676. MUFF DIVE

677. MUFF DIVER

678. MUFF LICKER

679. MUFFDIVE

680. MUFFDIVER

681. MUFFIN DIVER

682. MUFFINDIVER

683. MUFFLIKCER

684. MURDER

685. MUTHA FUCKER

686. NAKED

687. NASTY BITCH

688. NASTY HO

689. NASTY SLUT

690. NASTY WHORE

691. NASTYBITCH

692. NASTYHO

693. NASTYSLUT

694. NASTYWHORE

695. NEON DEON

696. NIG

 

 

 

697. NIGER

698. NIGGA

699. NIGGER

700. NIPPLE

701. NIPPLE RING

702. NIPPLERING

703. NIT TIT

704. NITTIT

705. NO FUCKING WAY

706. NO SEX

707. NOFUCKINGWAY

708. NOOKIE

709. NOONER

710. NUDE

711. NUT FUCKER

712. NUTFUCKER

713. OICU812

714. ON THE RAG

715. ONTHERAG

716. ORGASM

717. ORGY

718. OU812

719. OUI

720. P I M P

721. PEARL NECKLACE

722. PEARLNECKLACE

723. PECKER

724. PEE

725. PEEP SHOW

726. PEEPSHOW

727. PEEPSHPW

728. PENETRATION

729. PENIS

730. PENTHOUSE

731. PERIOD

732. PHQUE

733. PIMP

734. PIMP SIMP

735. PIMPED

736. PIMPER

737. PIMPJUIC

 

 

 

738. PIMPJUICE

739. PIMPSIMP

740. PISS

741. PISS HEAD

742. PISSED

743. PISSER

744. PISSHEAD

745. PLAY BOY

746. PLAY GIRL

747. PLAYBOY

748. PLAYGIRL

749. POCKET POOL

750. POCKETPOOL

751. POLACK

752. POON TANG

753. POONTANG

754. POOP

755. POOPER

756. POOR WHITE TRASH

757. POORWHITETRASH

758. POPIMP

759. PORCH MONKEY

760. PORCHMONKEY

761. PORN

762. PORN FLICK

763. PORN KING

764. PORN PRINCESS

765. PORNFLICK

766. PORNKING

767. PORNO

768. PORNPRINCESS

769. PREMATURE

770. PRICK

771. PRICK HEAD

772. PRICKHEAD

773. PRIMETIME

774. PROSTITUTE

775. PUBIC

776. PUBIC LICE

777. PUBICLICE

778. PUD

 

 

 

779. PUD BOY

780. PUDBOY

781. PUDD

782. PUDD BOY

783. PUDDBOY

784. PUN TANG

785. PUNTANG

786. PURINA PRINCESS

787. PURINAPRICNESS

788. PUSSY

789. PUSSY CAT

790. PUSSY EATER

791. PUSSY FUCKER

792. PUSSY LICKER

793. PUSSY LIPS

794. PUSSY LOVER

795. PUSSY POUNDER

796. PUSSYCAT

797. PUSSYEATER

798. PUSSYFUCKER

799. PUSSYLICKER

800. PUSSYLIPS

801. PUSSYLOVER

802. PUSSYPOUNDER

803. PUTT PIRATE

804. PWT

805. QUEEF

806. QUEER

807. QUICKIE

808. RAE CARRUTH

809. RAPE

810. RAPIST

811. REAR END

812. REAR ENTRY

813. REAREND

814. REARENTRY

815. RECTUM

816. RED LIGHT

817. REDLIGHT

818. REEFER

819. RENT A FUCK

 

 

 

820. RENTAFUCK

821. RETARD

822. RETARDED

823. RIBBED

824. RIM JOB

825. RIMJOB

826. ROACH

827. ROBBER

828. S AND M

829. S&M

830. SAMCKDADDY

831. SANDM

832. SATAN

833. SCHLONG

834. SCREW

835. SCREW YOU

836. SCREWYOU

837. SCROTUM

838. SEMEN

839. SEX

840. SEX FARM

841. SEX HOUND

842. SEX HOUSE

843. SEX KITTEN

844. SEX POT

845. SEX SLAVE

846. SEX TO GO

847. SEX TOY

848. SEX TOYS

849. SEX WHORE

850. SEXFARM

851. SEXHOUND

852. SEXHOUSE

853. SEXKITTEN

854. SEXPOT

855. SEXSLAVE

856. SEXTOGO

857. SEXTOY

858. SEXTOYS

859. SEXUAL

860. SEXWHORE

 

 

 

861. SEXY

862. SEXY BIATCH

863. SEXY BITCH

864. SEXY MOMA

865. SEXY SLIM

866. SEXYMOMA

867. SEXY-SLIM

868. SHAG

869. SHAGGIN

870. SHAGGING

871. SHAWTYPIMP

872. SHIT

873. SHIT DICK

874. SHIT EATER

875. SHIT FACE

876. SHIT FOR BRAINS

877. SHIT FUCK

878. SHIT FUCKER

879. SHIT HAPPENS

880. SHIT HEAD

881. SHIT OUT OF LUCK

882. SHIT STAIN

883. SHIT4BRAINS

884. SHITDICK

885. SHITEATER

886. SHITFACE

887. SHITFORBRAINS

888. SHITFUCK

889. SHITFUCKER

890. SHITHAPENS

891. SHITHAPPENS

892. SHITHEAD

893. SHITOUTOFLUCK

894. SHITS

895. SHITSTAIN

896. SHITTER

897. SHITTING

898. SHITTY

899. SHORT FUCK

900. SHORTFUCK

901. SHOWTIME

 

 

 

902. SIX SIX SIX

903. SIXSIXSIX

904. SIXTY 9

905. SIXTY NINE

906. SIXTY9

907. SIXTYNINE

908. SKANK

909. SKANK BITCH

910. SKANK FUCK

911. SKANK WHORE

912. SKANKBITCH

913. SKANKFUCK

914. SKANKWHORE

915. SKANKY BITCH

916. SKANKY WHORE

917. SKANKYBITCH

918. SKANKYWHORE

919. SKIN FLUTE

920. SKINFLUTE

921. SKUM

922. SKUM BAG

923. SKUMBAG

924. SLANT

925. SLANT EYE

926. SLANTEYE

927. SLAVE

928. SLAVE DRIVER

929. SLAVEDRIVER

930. SLEEZE BAG

931. SLEEZE BALL

932. SLEEZEBAG

933. SLEEZEBALL

934. SLIDE IT IN

935. SLIDEITIN

936. SLIME

937. SLIME BALL

938. SLIME BUCKET

939. SLIMEBALL

940. SLIMEBUCKET

941. SLUT

942. SLUT WEAR

 

 

 

943. SLUT WHORE

944. SLUTS

945. SLUTT

946. SLUTTING

947. SLUTTY

948. SLUTWEAR

949. SLUTWHORE

950. SMACK DADDY

951. SMACK THE MONKEY

952. SMACKTHEMONKEY

953. SMAGMA

954. SMART ASS

955. SNATCH

956. SNATCH PATCH

957. SNATCHPATCH

958. SNIPER

959. SNOT

960. SODOMITE

961. SODOMY

962. SON OF A BITCH

963. SONOFABITCH

964. SONOFBITCH

965. SPANK THE MONKEY

966. SPANKTHEMONKEY

967. SPERM

968. SPERM BAG

969. SPERM HEARDER

970. SPERM HERDER

971. SPERMACIDE

972. SPERMBAG

973. SPERMHEARDER

974. SPERMHERDER

975. SPIC

976. SPICK

977. SPIT

978. SPITTER

979. SPLIT TAIL

980. SPLIT TIAL

981. SPLITTAIL

982. STAGG

983. STRAP ON

 

 

 

984. STRAPON

985. STRINGER

986. STRIP CLUB

987. STRIPCLUB

988. STROKE

989. STROKING

990. STUPID

991. STUPID FUCK

992. STUPID FUCKER

993. STUPIDFUCK

994. STUPIDFUCKER

995. SUCK

996. SUCK DICK

997. SUCK ME

998. SUCK MY ASS

999. SUCK MY DICK

1000. SUCK MY TIT

1001. SUCK OFF

1002. SUCKDICK

1003. SUCKER

1004. SUCKME

1005. SUCKMYASS

1006. SUCKMYDICK

1007. SUCKMYTIT

1008. SUCKOFF

1009. SUICIDE

1010. SWIGN DIXX

1011. SWING DIXX

1012. SWINGIN DIXX

1013. SWINGING DICKS

1014. SYPHILIS

1015. TAMPON

1016. TESTICLE

1017. TESTICLES

1018. THIRD EYE

1019. THIRD LEG

1020. THIRDEYE

1021. THIRDLEG

1022. THREE SOME

1023. THREESOME

1024. TIT

 

 

 

1025. TIT BIT NIPPLY

1026. TIT FUCK

1027. TIT FUCKER

1028. TIT FUCKIN

1029. TIT JOB

1030. TIT LICKER

1031. TIT LOVER

1032. TITBITNIPPLY

1033. TITFUCK

1034. TITFUCKER

1035. TITFUCKIN

1036. TITJOB

1037. TITLICKER

1038. TITLOVER

1039. TITS

1040. TITTIES

1041. TITTY

1042. TONGETHRUSTER

1043. TONGUE

1044. TONGUE THRUSTER

1045. TONGUE TRAMP

1046. TONGUETHRUST

1047. TONGUETRAMP

1048. TOUNG THRUSTER

1049. TOUNGE BALLER

1050. TOUNGE THRUST

1051. TRAILER TRASH

1052. TRAILERTRASH

1053. TRAMP

1054. TRI SEXUAL

1055. TRIPLE X

1056. TRIPLEX

1057. TRISEXUAL

1058. TROJAN

1059. TROTS

1060. TUNNEL OF LOVE

1061. TUNNELOFLOVE

1062. TURD

1063. TWO BIT WHORE

1064. TWO ON ONE

1065. TWOBITWHORE

 

 

 

1066. UNFUCKABLE

1067. UP THE ASS

1068. UP THE BUTT

1069. UPSKIRT

1070. UPTHEASS

1071. UPTHEBUTT

1072.

1073.

1074.

1075. URINATE

1076. URINE

1077. UTERUS

1078. VAGINA

1079. VAGINAL

1080. VD

1081. VIBRATER

1082. VIBRATOR

1083. VIRGIN

1084. VIRGIN BREAKER

1085. VIRGINBREAKER

1086. VULVA

1087. WAYSTED

1088. WEENIE

1089. WET SPOT

1090. WETSPOT

1091. WHACKER

1092. WHISKEY DICK

1093. WHISKEYDICK

1094. WHISKY DICK

1095. WHISKYDICK

1096. WHITE TRASH

1097. WHITETRASH

1098. WHORE

1099. WHORE FUCKER

1100. WHORE HOUSE

1101. WHOREFUCKER

1102. WHOREHOUSE

1103. WIGGER

1104. WILLIE WANKER

1105. WILLIEWANKER

1106. WUUTANG

 

 

 

1107. XXX

1108. YELLOW MAN

1109. YELLOWMAN

 

Tags: ,

24 Responses to “This will get me banned in Pakistan”

  1. Manolo (13,774 comments) says:

    Pakistan is a failed state and a shit-hole, anyway.
    A ban to that miserable and barren place should be worn like a badge of honour.

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  2. noskire (842 comments) says:

    Budweiser is banned. Agree with that. Terrible beer.

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  3. Elaycee (4,392 comments) says:

    Jeez – 1072 / 1073 and 1074 must be REALLY bad for them to be omitted…

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  4. Johnboy (16,554 comments) says:

    Hell I might grow a beard, get a rag for my head and head off to Rawalpindi seeing as anything to do with sheep is OK with the Prophet (PBUH). :)

    Even camels are OK as long as you don’t get the hots over their toes. :)

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  5. Johnboy (16,554 comments) says:

    Winston would be in trouble over there. Shortfucks are banned! :)

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  6. Johnboy (16,554 comments) says:

    Hone could be big time in Pakistan. Just like his house White trash is banned. :)

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  7. Viking2 (11,471 comments) says:

    We have our own list of course. Only applies to the media currently. Banks, Brash, strange,Key etc.
    More to come when Key gets told to stop swearing.
    Then we of course will have to become celibate for the suited ones.

    And wine will go. That puts DPF in a spot of bother all round.

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  8. nasska (11,510 comments) says:

    Johnboy

    I understand that in the land of the Prophet foreplay involves tickling the goat under the chin.

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  9. Johnboy (16,554 comments) says:

    Anything to do with goats is good Nasska they’re not on the list.

    Cats are out though. See 788 to 802.

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  10. tas (625 comments) says:

    905. SIXTY NINE

    A banned number; LOL.

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  11. Johnboy (16,554 comments) says:

    They wouldn’t let Scotty in see 876. :)

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  12. dog_eat_dog (780 comments) says:

    1103. WIGGER

    Pakistan…is worried…about middle class white kids dressing like early 90s gangsta rappers?

    Too bad they didn’t ban Whatthefuckistan.

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  13. wat dabney (3,756 comments) says:

    They’ll have to invent new euphemisms.

    I’m so ashamed. My mum caught me shaking hands with Shane Jones.

    You didn’t know she was a Winston Peters? So how did you feel when she asked you for money afterwards?

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  14. Put it away (2,878 comments) says:

    All that’s going to happen is that the kids will memorise the list positions of the most useful ones and use the numbers as shorthand, thus allowing even more naughty words per txt.

    891 673s.

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  15. Bed Rater (239 comments) says:

    Please, can we have a referral here from one of the other main NZ political blogs,

    something like the following would be great:

    Meanwhile, DPF blogs
    “909. SKANK BITCH

    910. SKANK FUCK

    911. SKANK WHORE

    912. SKANKBITCH

    913. SKANKFUCK

    914. SKANKWHORE

    915. SKANKY BITCH”

    Indeed.

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  16. Johnboy (16,554 comments) says:

    Loosen up Bed Rater. Its a lazy Saturday afternoon. It will all be different next Saturday!

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  17. noskire (842 comments) says:

    Strange they didn’t ban rag head.

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  18. Put it away (2,878 comments) says:

    10 – 40 could be labour’s party list

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  19. PaulL (5,981 comments) says:

    Seems a bit weird to me. You ban “ASS” then you need to ban “ASS FUCKER” “ASS BANDIT” “ASS HORE” (for those with poor spelling). In an IT sense, once you banned ASS, you couldn’t use any of those words anyway, because they all contain ASS.

    So, in short, not only are they idiots for attempting to ban bad language, they’re incompetent idiots.

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  20. davidp (3,581 comments) says:

    Meanwhile, in Saudi Arabia the religious police are busy:

    “Women unveiling their eyes in public in Saudi Arabia will be forced to fully cover up their faces if their eyes are found to be seditious, according to the Gulf Kingdom’s most feared Islamic law-enforcement group.”

    http://www.emirates247.com/news/region/women-with-seditious-eyes-must-cover-up-2010-11-14-1.317325

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  21. Johnboy (16,554 comments) says:

    Scotty’s ex wife probably had seditious eyes I suspect.

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  22. Steve (4,562 comments) says:

    Whale Oil Beef Hooked

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  23. Thrash Cardiom (298 comments) says:

    Seems a bit weird to me. You ban “ASS” then you need to ban “ASS FUCKER” “ASS BANDIT” “ASS HORE” (for those with poor spelling). In an IT sense, once you banned ASS, you couldn’t use any of those words anyway, because they all contain ASS.

    But if you ban “ASS” then you also are banning “association”, “associate”, “assassins”, “assure” and a whole lot of other words. It’s the old “scunthorpe” problem.

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  24. Thrash Cardiom (298 comments) says:

    It’s doomed to fail anyway. Either they’ll do the numbers as someone else has pointed out or use other words. Probably making up their own.

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