Guest Post: A Pyrrhic Victory

April 4th, 2012 at 11:00 am by David Farrar

A guest post by :

Can Do Campbell Newman has a huge problem with his enormous victory in the Queensland State election. He now has to try and keep 78 ambitious politicians in line when many of them must know they will be one term wonders. Everyone will want a job and those who end up being about as active as the guys who are doing some sort of road works at the end of our street and have been doing whatever it is for almost two years now will be mischief makers.

The LNP will have to hire the Gabba for the caucus meetings while Labor can have theirs in a phone box.

Labor has hit rock bottom and their only way now is up.

The result is typical of the sort of outcome you get with an FPP system.. There are no winners, practically no Opposition and all Campbell’s little puppies will be pooping on the floor and weeing on the carpet.

Can Do was a major in the Army and was nicknamed Noddy because he got up to a few tricks. He is also an authoritarian who doesn’t listen to anyone and expects everybody to have their kit spick and span and their gear in pristine order.

His attempt to keep his huge team under control promises to be an interesting sight.

Campbell will indeed have no effective opposition from other parties, so the opposition will come from within his own party. I know from experience of National’s 1990 landslide win, that some of your new MPs are not that well suited to be MPs. In seats that you never expected to win, the nomination often goes to whomever wants it. So Campbell will have some difficult MPs to deal with.

The good news for him though it that short of being found to be having an incestous affair with four nuns, Campbell will get a second term. Even a third term at this stage looks likely as Labor will need a lot of time to go from seven MPs to the 45 needed to govern.

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12 Responses to “Guest Post: A Pyrrhic Victory”

  1. Shazzadude (468 comments) says:

    The effect of the Katter Party combined with OPV greatly exacerbated the margin of Labour’s loss. In normally safe Labor seats like Logan and Ipswich, the Katter Party took such a large bite of the vote that those seats went to the LNP, and this happened throughout North Queensland as well.

    I think the ones under the guns will be the rural LNP MPs. The LNP’s caucus now has a huge Brisbane presence, (I believe for the first time Brisbane/Gold Coast MPs represent a majority of the LNP’s caucus) and with Newman as leader I think we will see a few city v country stoushes, especially with the Katter Party there. Even if they’re only a caucus of two, Bob Katter federally will create enough noise in an appeal to rural Queensland.

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  2. Adolf Fiinkensein (2,685 comments) says:

    “Labor has hit rock bottom and their only way now is up.”

    Oh no it ain’t!

    They are still to lose the by-election for Bligh’s seat.

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  3. RightNow (6,350 comments) says:

    Excellent post, made me laugh from start to finish. The author is clearly a master of satire and sets the scene from the beginning with the sarcastic use of Pyrrhic victory.

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  4. GPT1 (2,043 comments) says:

    If the nuns are hot and he’s not being incestuous it will probably not hurt him

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  5. s.russell (1,486 comments) says:

    I think it is dangerous to assume that the scale of this year’s victory guarantees a future one. Voters are fickle, and will punish Campbell’s Govt just as thoroughly if it proves a bad one.
    I recall the widespread assumption that Labour could not possibly lose the 1975 election in NZ because its majority was so large…. and of course, it did lose, by a landslide.

    [DPF: Labour in 1972 won by 7% and the Oppn had 32 out of 87 seats. LNP in 2012 won by over 20% and the Oppn has 7 out of 89 seats. I think it would need a massive scandal to get them back in after one term]

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  6. mikenmild (8,925 comments) says:

    Good point RN, does Freedman know what a ‘Pyrrhic victory’ actually means?

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  7. tom hunter (4,012 comments) says:

    I pointed out some weeks ago that Mr Freedman often uses “clever” phrases that he actually does not understand and hence misapplies.

    It’s almost like someone yelling fire in a crowded bag of soundbites!

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  8. DJP6-25 (1,236 comments) says:

    I hope he can manage things well enouth that they get four terms at least. What’s bad for Labor is good for Queensland.

    cheers

    David Prosser

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  9. Alan Wilkinson (1,798 comments) says:

    I’m confused. How much of this post is Freedman and how much is Farrar – including the headline and the misnamed “Pyrrhic Victory”? And if it is all Freedman, why is part of it apparently an unattributed quote?

    [DPF: The guest post is quoted in italics. My comments are not]

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  10. nasska (9,579 comments) says:

    Unfortunately Tom, Mr Freedman has not made the transition from third rate journalism to fifth rate guest blog posting without difficulty. I feel that most of the problem lies in the absence of sub editors who would normally rewrite the crap so as to remove the more obvious instances where the Queen’s English is mangled beyond recognition.

    This is probably one of those rare cases where a lack of capital letters & a liberal dosing of ellipses could actually improve the legibility of the wafflings.

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  11. Put it away (2,888 comments) says:

    “Nice problem to have” would be a better title. Sad attempt to see a silver lining in an unmitigated bloodbath. Amusing if you’re laughing at freedman, not with him.

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  12. thor42 (781 comments) says:

    If only the Labour Party in NZ had been as decimated as the one in Queensland. The 27 seats they have here is about 26 too many for my liking.
    I **desperately hope** they don’t win the 2014 election.

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