Good Greens

July 6th, 2012 at 10:00 am by David Farrar

The PM commented a few days ago that the tend to call for an inquiry every week or so. Listener journo Toby Manhire did the numbers and found they had called for 18 or so inquiries in the last year and a bit. This then led to a story by Claire Trevett which included:

In My Big Fat Greek Wedding, the bride-to-be’s father Gus Portokalos’ cure-all for the injuries, rashes and afflictions that befall his family is a squirt of Windolene glass cleaner.

Sore back? Pimple? Broken marriage? Windex.

The Green Party’s version of Windex is, as Prime Minister John Key took some delight in pointing out earlier this week, the call for an inquiry. …

Key’s mockery of the Greens’ severe case of inquiry-itis has had the desired effect of reducing the potency of any calls the Greens might make in future by consigning them to the status of a punchline.

On Wednesday night after the earthquake struck near New Plymouth, most Twitter users tweeted about trying to find pants before running outside or condiment jars falling over.

Green MP Holly Walker had bigger issues on her mind: “Anyone else concerned about the offshore oil rigs in Taranaki?”

Sure enough, in response the jokes started rolling in about how long it would take for the Greens to call for an inquiry into whether the earthquake was caused by either a) fracking, or b) John Key or c) the tremors from all those other inquiry reports landing all at once.

The Greens have responded with a press release:

The Greens have been criticised by Prime Minister John Key, who said, ‘The Greens call for an inquiry on virtually anything.’

The remark prompted immediate calls from the Green Party for an inquiry, which would focus on why the Greens call for so many inquiries. …

The Green Party announced it would convene a working group to determine the make-up of the inquiry committee, which would then report to the national executive before December. Once the gender-balanced committee was selected its first task would be to draft its terms of reference. Those would be ready sometime in the new year and the committee would report its draft by July.

The committee will not be headed by Paula Rebstock or Dame Margaret Bazley.

Sources within the Green Party predicted that the inquiry would probably be a whitewash, with its recommendations ignored. A subsequent inquiry into why the inquiry was ignored was likely. The Green Party would not approach Margaret Bazley or Paula Rebstock to lead the subsequent inquiry.

Very good. When you are getting beaten up for something, humour can absolutely be the best defence.

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24 Responses to “Good Greens”

  1. David Garrett (6,995 comments) says:

    I agree – very good. It’s either Kevin Hague – a thoroughly good bloke – or one of their new intake. The others are completely bereft of humour.

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  2. Manolo (13,518 comments) says:

    Sheer lunatics and avowed communists, the Luddites will continue their economic crusade against New Zealand.

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  3. graham (2,332 comments) says:

    Well, yes, humour is a great defence. The problem is, I look at this and wonder if it’s really a joke.

    “Once the gender-balanced committee was selected …” Honestly, you’re trying to say that’s a joke? Sounds exactly like the Greens to me …

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  4. pmofnz (22 comments) says:

    “Good Greens”

    There are no such things.

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  5. East Wellington Superhero (1,151 comments) says:

    WTF? Good?

    Good political tactics maybe. But it lacks integrity. Their response fails to address criticisms levelled at the Greens, and it’s hoovered up by the useless media.

    And Graham makes a good point too.

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  6. Grendel (993 comments) says:

    the media will play into this and let it slide (liek DPF is doing). its not uncommon, group has a goofy/dodgy way of doing things, makes a joke about themselves doing that, still continue to be as goofy as ever, everyone laughs it off now becuase its a joke, and they get to go back under the radar.

    the greens are all about wasting tax payer money on enquiries, and making sure things are gender balanced just becuase (as well as advocating looking beyond the ‘pakeha concept’ of one person one vote).

    dont trust the greens when they are being upfront about their views, trust them even less when they are trying to make a joke, as it means they are hiding something even worse than the usual stuff they are upfront about.

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  7. Other_Andy (2,576 comments) says:

    Aren’t they a laugh and a half…
    Now for some Pol Pot jokes.

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  8. capitald (72 comments) says:

    I actually enjoyed their press release too…. never thought I’d enjoy a Greens Press release!

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  9. mikenmild (11,247 comments) says:

    EWS
    What criticisms?

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  10. East Wellington Superhero (1,151 comments) says:

    @ mikenmild

    That their on-going requests for inquiries is into everything brings in to question their credibility. Rather than answer such a criticism seriously, let’s make a joke instead.

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  11. RRM (9,784 comments) says:

    Inquiries are a waste of time.

    Partizan ideological rhetoric is a much better way of getting to the bottom of any matter.

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  12. mikenmild (11,247 comments) says:

    Oh, so seeking inquiries really is a concern. I thought that criticism was a joke by the PM. Maybe DPf could make it another performance measure for opposition parties though. What would be the Goldilocks zone for the number of inquiries requested each year?

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  13. Lance (2,628 comments) says:

    Good to see the Greens are able to laugh at themselves.
    Less lemon sucking, more humour.
    BTW I always thought that was Winston Peters only redeeming feature.

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  14. alex (302 comments) says:

    Its incredible that the mere mention of the Greens, no matter what the context, can send plenty of regular commenters on this site into a frenzy of anger.

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  15. Daigotsu (454 comments) says:

    Unfunny bullshit by a bunch of lefty wankers

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  16. Viking2 (11,368 comments) says:

    The greens and their drum banging in picture. Luv it.

    http://screencast.com/t/lJh9h6Shl

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  17. Pete George (23,436 comments) says:

    alex – some people feel threatened by common sense or by a different viewpoint.

    I don’t always agree with their means of addressing things and the degree they want to address things but the Greens make a valuable contribution to parliament and political debate.

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  18. mikenmild (11,247 comments) says:

    Daigotsu is striving to prove alex’s point, I see.

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  19. david (2,552 comments) says:

    Probably seemed hilarious after a session on nettle juice

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  20. slightlyrighty (2,471 comments) says:

    It made me smile!

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  21. The Scorned (719 comments) says:

    Pete George…only if you think advocating for polices that can only deliver more poverty and human misery, mainly to the most desperate in society, counts as a “valuable contribution”

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  22. kyotolaw (52 comments) says:

    This smells of Dimpost – his wife works as a flack for them now…

    Certainly the humour has a familiar ring to it…

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  23. adamsmith1922 (890 comments) says:

    There are no ‘Good Greens’, it is an oxymoron

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  24. Nick K (1,223 comments) says:

    And they want to be government. Bunch of clowns.

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