Good Greens

The PM commented a few days ago that the tend to call for an inquiry every week or so. Listener journo Toby Manhire did the numbers and found they had called for 18 or so inquiries in the last year and a bit. This then led to a story by Claire Trevett which included:

In My Big Fat Greek Wedding, the bride-to-be’s father Gus Portokalos’ cure-all for the injuries, rashes and afflictions that befall his family is a squirt of Windolene glass cleaner.

Sore back? Pimple? Broken marriage? Windex.

The Green Party’s version of Windex is, as Prime Minister John Key took some delight in pointing out earlier this week, the call for an inquiry. …

Key’s mockery of the Greens’ severe case of inquiry-itis has had the desired effect of reducing the potency of any calls the Greens might make in future by consigning them to the status of a punchline.

On Wednesday night after the earthquake struck near New Plymouth, most Twitter users tweeted about trying to find pants before running outside or condiment jars falling over.

Green MP Holly Walker had bigger issues on her mind: “Anyone else concerned about the offshore oil rigs in Taranaki?”

Sure enough, in response the jokes started rolling in about how long it would take for the Greens to call for an inquiry into whether the earthquake was caused by either a) fracking, or b) John Key or c) the tremors from all those other inquiry reports landing all at once.

The Greens have responded with a press release:

The Greens have been criticised by Prime Minister John Key, who said, ‘The Greens call for an inquiry on virtually anything.’

The remark prompted immediate calls from the Green Party for an inquiry, which would focus on why the Greens call for so many inquiries. …

The Green Party announced it would convene a working group to determine the make-up of the inquiry committee, which would then report to the national executive before December. Once the gender-balanced committee was selected its first task would be to draft its terms of reference. Those would be ready sometime in the new year and the committee would report its draft by July.

The committee will not be headed by Paula Rebstock or Dame Margaret Bazley.

Sources within the Green Party predicted that the inquiry would probably be a whitewash, with its recommendations ignored. A subsequent inquiry into why the inquiry was ignored was likely. The Green Party would not approach Margaret Bazley or Paula Rebstock to lead the subsequent inquiry.

Very good. When you are getting beaten up for something, humour can absolutely be the best defence.

Comments (24)

Login to comment or vote