Even the Santa parade is hit by the safety police

September 13th, 2012 at 1:00 pm by David Farrar

NZ Herald reports:

The tradition of throwing lollies and squirting water at the crowd has been banished from Christmas parades under health and safety rules enforced by .

Oh Good God. Of course there is some small risk of harm, but let’s use common sense. Has any harm ever actually occured, or is likely to?

There is a big difference between mitigating risk and trying to eliminate it.

rules
* No throwing lollies or gifts to children. Handing them to children is okay.
* No wetting people, with pistols, bombs and cannon.
* Drive floats at walking pace only.
* No passengers under 5 years old.
* No gymnasts doing cartwheels among animal droppings.

Okay that last rule is probably pretty sensible!

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42 Responses to “Even the Santa parade is hit by the safety police”

  1. PaulL (5,981 comments) says:

    No gymnasts doing cartwheels among animal droppings.

    Seems very specific. Handstands OK? Does that mean there is an inspector that will rope of legitimate cartwheel areas, with those cartwheel areas guaranteed to be free of animal droppings. Or does each gymnast make their own decision on whether or not there are animal droppings (and isn’t that something they’d obviously do for themselves anyway, irrespective of any rules that are created?)

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  2. Short Shriveled and Slightly to the Left (786 comments) says:

    “No gymnasts doing cartwheels among animal droppings.”

    how about non-gymnists? better rope them in too

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  3. Lance (2,655 comments) says:

    This is the work of incompetent people.
    The H+S act in no way stipulates this sort of lunacy. It’s just mindless butt covering by those who are employed to advise on H+S and yet have no idea what they are doing.

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  4. MarkS (76 comments) says:

    Why not just cancel Christmas?

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  5. Brian Smaller (4,023 comments) says:

    Why not just cancel Christmas?

    It is an affront to Islam and Muslims, so probably will be banned sooner or later.

    These bureaucrats are sour face, miserable arseholes. I bet they have no joy in their lives at all.

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  6. barry (1,317 comments) says:

    It all stared with the anti smacking rule changes and its just gone on from there.

    Once this sort of idiocy starts theres no limit to the stupidity that people will try. Actually thats wrong – i shouldnt say people because they are actually morons.

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  7. Adolf Fiinkensein (2,903 comments) says:

    It’s them bloody Greens again!

    You just can’t have errant gymnasts squashing them poor little endangered dung beetles and escaping intestinal worms.

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  8. wat dabney (3,769 comments) says:

    What’s so great about the Running of the Bulls in Pamploma is not just the sight of idiots getting gored but the fact that the council recognises it’s none of its damn business to prevent people from freely participating in such an obviously dangerous event.

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  9. Mr_Blobby (173 comments) says:

    “Drive floats at walking pace only.” They haven’t had motorized floats for many years. They did not meet NZTA requirements of being able to be driven at motorway speeds. The floats are now on trailers and towed by cars and Utes. The floats are escorted to and from the storage warehouse by Police. If the Police escort travels to fast, the floats can be damaged as happened many years ago.

    “No passengers under 5 years old.” The younger participants are too small to keep up with the pace or distance of the parade. Only the older children are allowed to walk the parade.

    It sound a bit like the no lolly scramble rule incase some one misses out. Just more PC Bullshit.

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  10. Redbaiter (8,923 comments) says:

    Who really is surprised by this idiocy?

    Damn sure I’m not.

    Its where we’ve been going for years now.

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  11. bka (135 comments) says:

    Mark S
    Santa will be prevented from landing his sleigh on any pitched roof.
    The chimney will no longer be authorised for access.

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  12. flipper (4,068 comments) says:

    So what are they going to do little Jimmy, or to little Beth, if the throw wrapped lollies to the crowd? Stop the parade? Ban them from future paradesd? Ask the Courts to fine them?

    THE less than super ACC (or whatever it calls itself in 2012) should be told to FO and/or get stuffed.

    For so long as we tolerate governmernt by administrative fiat we will continue to suffer from this crap. Time to end it.

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  13. Pete George (23,567 comments) says:

    Bugger, watching gymnasts doing cartwheels among animal droppings is about the only reason I’d go to one of those parades.

    Do they really use real reindeer?

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  14. ben (2,380 comments) says:

    What pisses me off is the health and safety nutters citing common sense. As if it is every one else who is crazy.

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  15. DJP6-25 (1,387 comments) says:

    ‘Health and safety’ , has little to do with keeping people safe. It has a lot to do with providing ‘jobs’ for socialists with BAs in ‘Gender studies, and Art-History.

    cheers

    David Prosser

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  16. James Stephenson (2,180 comments) says:

    As long as they don’t stop me burning an effigy of Len Brown on Bonfire Night, it’s all good.

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  17. kowtow (8,487 comments) says:

    This has come about due to the wests misplaced obsession with human rights.
    Universal declaration then domestic bill of rights and now it’s open slather.Across the board.

    So people who don’t like this petty bullshit should look at the big picture ,because there is one.

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  18. Alan Wilkinson (1,878 comments) says:

    You couldn’t make this stuff up, could you? Unless you are a lobotomised bureaucrat of course.

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  19. IHStewart (388 comments) says:

    ” No wetting people, with pistols, bombs and cannon.”

    Is the cannon bit aimed at the police ?

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  20. Adolf Fiinkensein (2,903 comments) says:

    IHStewart

    Can one surmise there will be no objection to pissing on people from the advantageous height of a float? (Such are the perils of prescriptive rules).

    If Len Brown is going to be among the roadside crowd I’ll volunteer for float duty. Please tell me beforehand on which side of the road he’ll be standing.

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  21. shoreboy57 (140 comments) says:

    Let’s just ban fun

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  22. tom hunter (4,854 comments) says:

    Stop whining.

    Don’t go. Persuade everybody you can not to go – and if you do have to deal with a teary-eyed little munchkin just tell him that the Grinch lives in the Auckland City Council.

    Bare, empty sidewalks along the parade route will mean a change of heart.

    Don’t want to do take such an extreme measure? Well then, this infringement of your freedoms was not as important as you claimed.

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  23. lastmanstanding (1,297 comments) says:

    Now let me see. Who is in charge at Auckland Council. Len Brown Doug McKay. Ahhh is anyone surprised given these clowns of a Mayor and Town Clerk.

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  24. Lee C (4,516 comments) says:

    how about animals doing cartwheels in gymnast’s droppings?

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  25. David Garrett (7,289 comments) says:

    I actually had a conversation today with the guy responsible for this.

    He said that “Concil’s Health and safety advisors” had told him that the lolly scramble was dangerous because kids could run out after lollies and be run over by a float. I asked him what the stats were for children run over – or hurt in any way – in Santa parades in New Zealand’s history. He said he didn’t know; he had never asked. Wouldnt that be the FIRST thing you would ask when some twerp told you “we can’t have lolly scrambles; children might be hurt” ?

    He said he was “going back to his advisors” on the “no water pistols” edict. What happened to actually making a DECISION to reject bullshit advice FFS, and telling said advisors to go and do something more useful? At that point in our discussion Mr Burt had to go, as he had an urgent meeting…

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  26. Redbaiter (8,923 comments) says:

    “Mr Burt had to go, as he had an urgent meeting…”

    Yep, an urgent meeting to waffle about more worthless shit like this.

    Man I am so sick of these fucking drooling idiot bureaucrats in local and central government.

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  27. RRM (9,924 comments) says:

    It is wonderful to see the Kiwiblog right devoting to this serious issue, the attention it deserves.

    :-P

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  28. Big Tim (20 comments) says:

    Please do not confuse this bullsh*t with real health and safety.

    I work in health and safety and regard this as an f*cking embarrassment.

    Real Health and Safety people work on real hazards to try to stop people getting injured or unwell and don’t waste time with this rubbish
    In my opinion the issue here is not H+S but government (both local and central) who employ morons and then listen to them.

    In most serious organisations:
    1. H+S would never make such a stupid idea
    2. Managers would ignore any H+S advisors who did say something so stupid

    In short don’t blame H+S – blame bureaucrats

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  29. David Garrett (7,289 comments) says:

    Big Tim: You said it much better than I…and in fewer words.

    The idea that Mr Burt could simply say “piss off, your advice is crap” and make a decision seemed to be a bit foreign to him…

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  30. adam2314 (377 comments) says:

    The point has to be…

    What else are these Wankers doing apart from this B/S..

    Do WE really need them be in OUR employment ??.

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  31. Steve (North Shore) (4,563 comments) says:

    So there will never be a ‘sonkran’ as they have in the land of smiles?

    Seriously these Council cork soakers need to get a sense of humour and fun

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  32. Pauleastbay (5,035 comments) says:

    I think this is very sensible, manys the time I’ve been attending a Santa parade and a child beside me has had an eye taken out by a “hard jube” biffed by an overzealous Santa elf, think of the kids you heartless bastards.

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  33. liarbors a joke (1,069 comments) says:

    ahh sonkran festival..now thats fun..thais really know how to celebrate !

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  34. RRM (9,924 comments) says:

    The idea that Mr Burt could simply say “piss off, your advice is crap” and make a decision seemed to be a bit foreign to him…

    LOL… This is a COUNCIL… there are no decisions made here… all we do is “facilitate” a process of collecting bits of paper with other people’s signatures on the bottom of them, to cover off all the relevant tick boxes and ensure that responsibility rests with anyone but us. But then I get the feeling you knew that…? ;-)

    There was once a time (LOL, I’m 32, it wasn’t that long ago!) when if the council engineers/checkers wrote me a letter, it would be to ask why I’d used a strange wind pressure coefficient or to tell me that they thought my concrete wall strength calculation on page 34 had a mistake in it, please revise. In other words it was a valuable process of additional checking to make sure my calculations were correct and that the building really was going to stand up.

    These days, the questions are more of the form “Please explain how your proposed bracket detail complies with clause 47 of section B2 of the building code?” or “Please provide a signed producer statement covering the balustrades?” They seem to be more interested in ensuring the Council is not liable for any error or omission, than in helping to ensure the buildings are 100% right.

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  35. adam2314 (377 comments) says:

    How many of these under employed were involved in this report.. ??.

    How many meetings.. ??.

    How many hours did these meetings take up.. ??.

    What are they spending their time on now .. ??.

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  36. adam2314 (377 comments) says:

    Pauleastbay (2,636) Says:
    September 13th, 2012 at 7:05 pm
    I think this is very sensible, manys the time I’ve been attending a Santa parade and a child beside me has had an eye taken out by a “hard jube” biffed by an overzealous Santa elf, think of the kids you heartless bastards

    Did you have the required skills to attend these dangerous undertakings .. ??..
    NO !!..

    Shame on you !!.. Were you prosecuted for not being able to assist those in pain from the atrocities ??

    NO !!.. Shame on the organizers..

    I could go on.. but I am speechless that a man such as you would be so callous as to take young ones to such a Parade.

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  37. mister nui (1,028 comments) says:

    Big Tim said:

    Please do not confuse this bullsh*t with real health and safety.

    I work in health and safety and regard this as an f*cking embarrassment.

    Real Health and Safety people work on real hazards to try to stop people getting injured or unwell and don’t waste time with this rubbish
    In my opinion the issue here is not H+S but government (both local and central) who employ morons and then listen to them.

    In most serious organisations:
    1. H+S would never make such a stupid idea
    2. Managers would ignore any H+S advisors who did say something so stupid

    In short don’t blame H+S – blame bureaucrats

    Honestly Tim, that is a load of shite, or you’re certainly not working with a unionised workforce. Have you actually ever worked on a mega-project?

    The H&S reasons I have seen used to stop work and create work/positions for H&S personnel continue to boggle my mind, and I’ve been in oil and gas for >20 years.

    One of the more stupid recent decisions I saw made by you wallies in H&S, was the banning of elastic sided boots; because they supposedly cause more ankle injuries. So, everyone was made to wear lace-ups, then over a 20 month period, ankle injuries were 30% higher than they were previous to the wonderful edict from H&S. The reason; everyones ankles got weaker, from wearing the lace-ups!

    On a big pipeline we’re currently laying in OZ, we’ve now got people walking in teams across an area “spotting” for snakes, before workers are allowed into a development area – all for $125 an hour. Whoever came up with this scam is onto a winner, it’s not like the snakes aren’t going to come back…. Good work if you can get it!

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  38. Sam Buchanan (501 comments) says:

    I take it it’s OK for disappointed children to throw things at Santa? Or will they be searched before attending?

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  39. Johnboy (16,597 comments) says:

    I’ve never felt a necessity to do cartwheels amongst my animals droppings. Usually just a quiet cigarette and a last few drinks from a nice bottle of wine will do it for it me and ewe. Honestly folks they don’t expect you to do calesthenics! :)

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  40. adam2314 (377 comments) says:

    Sam Buchanan (322) Says:
    September 13th, 2012 at 8:09 pm
    I take it it’s OK for disappointed children to throw things at Santa? Or will they be searched before attending?

    Sam .. Sam.. Take a bow Sam son :-))..

    You must know something.. Of course.. Expand the Empire ..

    All attendees will have to be ticketed.. FREE .. Only available to children who have ” Guardians ” able to produce a Super City Council Certificate of Parade Interests & Social Skills.. ( PISS ) ….

    Checked by Parking Wardens on double time …. Perfect..

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  41. Big Tim (20 comments) says:

    mister nui (797) Says:
    September 13th, 2012 at 7:57 pm

    Honestly Tim, that is a load of shite, or you’re certainly not working with a unionised workforce. Have you actually ever worked on a mega-project?

    To answer your question mister nui – no I work in a factory and most of my experience is in medium to large companies not mega projects.
    I do not on mega projects – I prefer my current job – one of the reasons why is that bureaucracy in large projects gets out of control.
    I am a hazardous substances specialist – i.e. I would be more interested in making sure your oil and gas project didn’t blow up or poison anyone than I would be in the other issues you mention.

    I was not saying that dumbass decisions do not get made by idiots who then claim H+S justifications.
    What I am saying is that people who really try to improve H+S get pissed off by these idiots even more than you. We work on real issues and meantime we are getting a bad reputation because of these idiots.

    I am willing to bet money that on your pipeline project there is someone doing real H+S work. Not having working on a gas pipeline I would have to take a guess what it is, probably that it would be things like ensuring there is no chance of a spark near the flammable gas, ensuring the line is properly earthed to avoid static electricity build-up etc.
    I am willing to bet the poor bastards doing this work are even more pissed off than you about stupid regulations because they are just making the real job tougher.

    P.s. any snake spotting jobs still going ? – I could use a pay rise

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  42. Johnboy (16,597 comments) says:

    You should take up sheep farming Big Tim else I suspect a stroke or coronary within three years! :)

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