David Thorne strikes again

October 14th, 2012 at 8:50 pm by David Farrar

I bet you many others have wanted to do this. David Thorne in response to HR asking him to complete a self-evaluation form:

Yes, I looked at it. Then I flipped it over and used the blank pages to draw pictures of Simon performing oral sex on a whale. Please find attached.

There seemed little point going through the embarrassing and transparent process of writing down what an exceptional employee I am in the hope of receiving some form of monetary based pat on the head. It might be suggested that someone working in the HR department of an agency with a total of eight other employees would have a vague working knowledge of who those employees are and how exceptional, average or piss-poor they are at their job. Especially if she has sat in on every weekly production meeting for the last year and her only other role is to design forms and make people fill out forms.

¬†As such, accepting that you already know how dreadful I am to have around, the fact that I haven’t been fired yet must speak volumes for the quality of my work and a big raise is probably in order.

HR insisted he fill it in, and so he did to great comic effect as you’ll see at the link.

Tags: ,

9 Responses to “David Thorne strikes again”

  1. F E Smith (3,302 comments) says:

    Without doubt 27bslash6 is one of my favourite websites.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  2. Johnboy (14,998 comments) says:

    I was going to look at it till I read the comment above! :)

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  3. Kevin (1,122 comments) says:

    That is hilarious. I have to fill at least two of the loathsome things in every year and sometimes more often. I wish I was indispensable enough to get away with that.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  4. Johnboy (14,998 comments) says:

    Your a menial then Kevin?

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  5. davidp (3,540 comments) says:

    A similar site: http://www.dontevenreply.com/

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  6. Mary Rose (393 comments) says:

    I’ve copied an old one every year, word for word, for several years now. As we don’t get any training, for instance, the question on training needs is pointless.
    I think they are just collected and filed straight into the shredder, as you never hear anything till the next one comes round.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  7. Lee C (4,516 comments) says:

    My employer (a ‘respected’ tertiary education provider ) loves this kind of shit. It’s a fascinating experience having to effectively reapply for your own job each year because you are on a limited term of employment, worrying about job-security and whether the mortgage can be paid every Christmas, and at the same time being bombarded by ‘feel-good’ internal media releases telling us about the trials and tribulations of those in secure, highly paid jobs at the top of the tree. HR is just their bitch, sending you requests for your own ‘performance reviews’ periodically (like every month – i mean, what the f**k impacts us on a monthly basis like that – meteorite strikes?), between requests to fill out ‘staff surveys’ so they can then twist the 99% negative responses into a ‘positive’ spin.

    Yet here I am at KB, water-carrier to the utilitarian utopia, bemoaning my lot. Like anyone gives a f**k – so much for ‘education’, it evidently didn’t make me any smarter, secure, or better paid …:0).

    Boo hoo, I suppose. Better get working on that Performance review again, if I know what’s good for me.

    Good thing I have masochistic tendencies.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  8. slightlyrighty (2,496 comments) says:

    Brilliant. But not as good as missing Missy.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  9. Lee C (4,516 comments) says:

    Mind you, I am rubbish at what I do, it’s probably just as well I stay under the radar. Yes. That’s what I’ll do….

    My favourite bit was the Action Plan – but then, I love humour which makes the victim have to work out where it’s coming from.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.