fantastic

By tradition, the couple spent their first night together in the
family’s historic house. The bride’s Grandmother saw her
sneaking down the stairs later that night, and asked where she
was going. “I left my gloves in the library, Grand-MaMa, and it’s
important that I have them.”

“Oh you youngsters !” the Grandmother sighed. “You march
yourself right back upstairs and grab hold of him with your
bare hands, just like I grabbed your Grandfather!”

A good lesson

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Bob’s wife caught him blow-drying his pecker this morning and asked him what the hell he was doing?

Apparently, “heating up your breakfast” was not the right answer

“A car forced me off the road into a Kingdom Hall,” she said.

“Did you get any witnesses?” I asked.

“Yes,” she said, “About sixty five fatalities and twelve injured.”

Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.

Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.

Squirrel who runs up woman’s leg will not find nuts.

Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.

Man who runs in front of car gets tired, man who runs behind car gets exhausted.

Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.

War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

It takes many nails to build a crib but only one screw to fill it.

Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.

Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who fish in other man’s well often catch crabs.

Finally CONFUCIUS DID SAY. . …

“A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood!”

Walking through the mall the surprised wife looked up and noticed her husband was no where

around and she was very upset because they had a lot to do.

She used her cell phone to call her husband because she was so upset, to ask him where he was.

The husband in a calm voice said, honey remember the jewelry store we went into 5 years ago

where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we could not afford and I told you that

I would get it for you one day.

His wife said crying, yes I remember that jewelry store.

He said, well I’m in the bar next to it.

“At your ripe age, what would you prefer to get -Parkinsons or Alzheimer’s?”

The wise one answered,

“Definitely Parkinsons. Better to spill half an ounce of wine than to forget where you keep the bottle!”

I want kids to succeed and be happy.
They have a different agenda.

A surge in foreign deposits with the Reserve Bank has sparked claims it may be printing money, in an attempt to take the heat out of the Australian dollar.

Central bank purchases of Australian dollars are seen as one reason for its strength, with up to 23 of the official institutions from around the globe including the currency in their portfolios.

In research published on Wednesday, UBS strategist Gareth Berry said there was “compelling” evidence to suggest the RBA had taken the unusual step of meeting central bank demand in direct off-market transactions, which would dampen the currency’s strength.

Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/business/markets/is-rba-printing-money-to-weaken-dollar-20121107-28y2s.html#ixzz2BWVCAABf

http://www.smh.com.au/business/markets/is-rba-printing-money-to-weaken-dollar-20121107-28y2s.html

The real world does not work to politically correct rules. You only have limited success socially engineering kids, even in such a rigidly controlled environment watched over by wild eyed shrill socialists (teachers).

About the only thing that does reflect the real world, is the bullying.

“Of course gays dress well. They didn’t spend all that time in the closet doing nothing.”

lol

You are preparing them for a society that does not exist, if they are too sheltered. Kids are cruel little shits, but I suspect nature made them that way for a reason.

You will note my ideas are much more fun than yours