General Debate 26 January 2013

January 26th, 2013 at 8:00 am by Kokila Patel
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71 Responses to “General Debate 26 January 2013”

  1. Colville (1,769 comments) says:

    Everyone is off watching the cricket?

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  2. Pete George (21,799 comments) says:

    For non cricket entertainment, Labour’s civil war has blown up again at The Standard. Accusations of lies, author versus author (faction versus faction).

    Summary: “His talk of a rift in the Labour Party is crap.” (Yeah, right).

    The action: http://thestandard.org.nz/tell-the-truth/

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  3. Andrei (2,429 comments) says:

    Hmmm, common sense spoken in Russian, the English speaking world has lost its way of course, English being a maleable language where words the marriage can be redefined at will and gender is a social construct

    Patriarch Kirill of Moscow and all Russia has come vigorously against “liberal” anthropocentric philosophies.

    “The issue is not those pinpricks that theomachists are trying to inflict on the body of the Church through their various actions. The issue is the future of the world,” the Patriarch said at the 21st International Christmas Conference in Moscow on Thursday.

    Mankind would not survive without the moral values “that God put into human nature,” he said.

    Nor would it survive if it goes for the “liberal concept” that each human being is “an alpha and omega, that he is authorized to decide what is good and what is evil, that he can not only decide on his own future but also has the right to exercise any influence he likes on the world surrounding him,” the Patriarch said.

    “What the Church does today with support from its numerous allies – intellectuals, teachers and so on – means accomplishing the main task that faces people, the task of preserving human civilization,” he said.

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  4. hj (5,677 comments) says:

    Productivity down, unemployment up in Britaiin. Greenies holding up developers and too many restrictions on immmigration (of course).

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  5. Keeping Stock (9,788 comments) says:

    @ Colville – yep. Does anyone know the Afrikaans word for “choke”?

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  6. MT_Tinman (2,790 comments) says:

    Andrei, that ain’t sense, common or otherwise.

    It simply says “We know best what’s good for you, you know nothing.”

    Maybe it was the translation.

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  7. wat dabney (3,434 comments) says:

    Hmmm, common sense spoken in Russian…Patriarch Kirill of Moscow and all Russia has come vigorously against “liberal” anthropocentric philosophies.

    The same Patriarch Kirill who “heartily congratulated” Alexander Lukashenko [""the last true remaining dictatorship in the heart of Europe""] for winning the Belarusian presidency in 2010…?

    Links with the KGB…

    Smuggling tobacco…

    Wearing a $20,000 Swiss watch and then having it airbrushed out of photographs

    That Patriarch Kirill?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kirill_I_of_Moscow

    Oh but this hypocritical statist thug is a “Christian”, so that’s okay.

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  8. Andrei (2,429 comments) says:

    Yes Wat, Patriarch Kirill does meet with some pretty dodgy people at times

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  9. flipper (3,268 comments) says:

    In view of Labour’s (and the red melons) promised, more intrusiuve approach to the economy, …..some thoughts to start the day. :)

    The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
    - Mark Twain

    A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
    - Thomas Jefferson

    We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
    - Aesop
    :)
    By the way.. I thought J. Key’s speech on land and the RMA was excellent.

    Now, can we just take steps to ensure that the “consent” fraternity and the petty little worms in local government do not subvert the intent?

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  10. Fletch (5,719 comments) says:

    Hmmm, common sense spoken in Russian

    And even more common sense from Russia as they are likely to ban anyone promoting homosexuality to children.

    The Duma passed the bill in the first of three readings by 388 votes to one, and applause rippled through the chamber. “We live in Russia, not Sodom and Gomorrah,” United Russia deputy Dmitry Sablin said before the vote. “Russia is a thousands-years-old country founded on its own traditional values – the protection of which is dearer to me than even oil and gas.”

    The law targets those who promote homosexuality to children, and is designed to bolster family values, according to the MPs who proposed it.

    Similar legislation has been passed in several Russian regions over the past two years, including the city of St Petersburg, and now the bill looks set to take hold nationwide. The law envisages fines of up to 5,000 roubles (£100) for individuals, 50,000 (£1,000) for public officials and 500,000 roubles (£10,000) for organisations who are found to be engaging in gay propaganda.

    The law will forbid “holding visual events with the participation of homosexuals in places accessible to children”, as well as “approval of homosexual links on television or radio during times when children could be watching”.

    Which is as it should be. I have nothing against adults doing whatever they like, but promoting it to children is not on; especially with the high rates of drug abuse, suicide, depression, and disease that characterise the gay lifestyle. Not to mention a lower lifespan. Why should children be subjected to that?

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  11. noskire (797 comments) says:

    SOUTH AFRICA require 8 runs from 1.0 over.

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  12. noskire (797 comments) says:

    Bugger.

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  13. Pete George (21,799 comments) says:

    Great finish and good on SA but the Black Caps have to take a lot out of the series, they won it and competed to the last ball in their loss.

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  14. Pete George (21,799 comments) says:

    Matthew Hooton writes in NBR on Labour heading to another meltdown.

    Since the November conference, writers at The Standard have demanded that despite Mr Shearer having the overwhelming support of caucus – and well above the 60% threshold required for him to automatically keep his job – he should put his leadership to a vote of party members and union affiliates this February.

    To pressure him, a false rumour was spread in recent days that Mr Shearer planned to announce this weekend a membership and union vote. The motivation is because most Standardistas are confident he would lose.

    Mr Shearer has a big speech this weekend. He would be well advised to throw some red meat to his far left to settle them down a bit. But the subversion by Mr Cunliffe’s supporters will continue all year. There is another meltdown ahead.

    And that was written before last night’s blowtorches were lit.

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  15. noskire (797 comments) says:

    J.J. Abrams set to direct the next Star Wars. It will only stand a chance if he can figure out a way to bring Darth Vader back – perhaps clone him?

    http://www.stuff.co.nz/entertainment/film/8223180/J-J-Abrams-to-direct-Star-Wars

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  16. Sofia (778 comments) says:

    Fletch – I have nothing against adults doing whatever they like, but promoting it [homosexuality] to children is not on; especially with the high rates of drug abuse, suicide, depression, and disease that characterise the gay lifestyle. Not to mention a lower lifespan. Why should children be subjected to that?
    _______________

    You’d tend to be against gay adoption then, Fletch, which is what the gay marriage bill is just pre-runner?

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  17. Fletch (5,719 comments) says:

    Yes, I would be against gay adoption.
    The Spanish did an in-depth look at all the different studies a few years back and concluded that it was not a good idea.

    In light of a pending vote in the Spanish Senate on same-sex marriage HazteOir, together with the Spanish Forum for the Family and the Institute for Family Policy, has published and distributed an in-depth report on the effects that being raised by same-sex parents has on a child. The report, entitled “Report on Infantile Development in Same-Sex Couples” and available only in Spanish at this time, gathers and compares information from a vast number of studies carried out on the issue.

    HazteOir, concerned by the apparent unquestioning acceptance in Spain of homosexual adoption, hopes that the wide array of information provided in the report and its extensive bibliography will prove to the Senate that homosexual parentage is harmful for children.

    The president of HazteOir stated, in light of the findings of the report: “In no way can a couple of persons of the same sex be judged suitable for adopting a child. Considering the findings of this vast bibliography we are obliged to protect the minor and say that same-sex couples must not be allowed to adopt children.”

    The report contests that the majority of the studies carried out which have concluded in favour of same-sex parenthood betray an egregious lack of scientific rigour. Most of the studies show a strong bias to one side.

    To prove this the report analyzes the nature of the individuals who have been responsible for the various studies carried out thus far, demonstrating that the vast majority are either homosexuals themselves, or active in the gay-rights movement. Into this category fall all six of the six most prominent psychologists of the American Psychological Association, which, unsurprisingly is one of the organizations most strongly and vocally in favour of homosexual adoption.

    In compiling and comparing the available data from these studies, as well as more objective studies, the team of first-class psychologists and sociologists which penned the HazteOir report have noted prominent and disturbing trends.

    Among children raised by same-sex couples, the report notes a significant increase in low self-esteem, stress, confusion regarding sexual identity, an increase in mental illness, drug use, promiscuity, STD’s, and homosexual behaviour, amongst others. Furthermore, the report shows that statistics have brought to light the fact that same-sex relationships betray a much higher instance of separation and break-up than heterosexual relationships, increasing the likelihood that the child will experience familial instability.

    The Spanish Association of Pediatrics firmly backs up the findings of the report, stating that a “family nucleus with two fathers or two mothers is clearly dangerous for the child”.

    If you can read Spanish, the report is here – http://www.fides.org/spa/approfondire/2005/spagna_noesigual.html

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  18. Viking2 (10,703 comments) says:

    Mr Woodhouse is the first Dunedin-based National Party minister.

    He is married with three daughters.
    By Audrey Young Email Audrey

    Can anyone tell me if this is correct. Pete maybe?
    I would have thought Norm Jones was ahead of this but not sure if he was a cabinet minister. Probably too “robust” perhaps.

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  19. Viking2 (10,703 comments) says:

    Its true that we never learn from history.

    Grant Spencer indicated the bank was considering measures to regulate bank lending and reduce the risk of a housing bubble, with a public consultation document to be released in March. One of the more controversial measures could involve the introduction of loan value ratio restrictions which would limit the ability of banks to lend buyers up to 100 per cent of a property’s value.

    The banks. lawyers and their customers are and will always be smarter than the rule makers. There will be plenty of ways around this. Was before when 60% was the rule and will continue to be. Idiots in the asylum who think that rules govern commerce.

    arrrgh.

    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10861518

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  20. Viking2 (10,703 comments) says:

    At the same time, Prime Minister John Key reiterated his Government’s determination to force councils to open up land for new houses, which it hopes will ease the pressure on record prices.

    He effectively threatened to legislate if councils do not do what the Government wants in order to get more houses built more cheaply.

    “If councils aren’t able to change their planning processes, then the Government would have to get a lot more proactive because we are very serious about resolving this issue.”

    Councils planning processes are hide bound by the resource management Act tha Key has been promising for at least 6 years to change.
    —————————————–
    The man ain’t a leader he is a flake. The sooner he quits the better.

    He can take one of those Air NZ planes along with the thousands of others who have left since he told us he was going to stop that happening. He has no idea at all, along with some many of his overated pumped over promtoed colleagues.

    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10861518

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  21. wat dabney (3,434 comments) says:

    Fletch,

    And even more common sense from Russia as they are likely to ban anyone promoting homosexuality to children.

    You advocate state censorship and the prosecution of free speech.

    “Teachers ‘may face the sack’ under human rights laws if they refuse to promote gay marriage in schools ”

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2268056/Teachers-face-sack-refuse-promote-gay-marriage-schools.html

    Remember, Fletch supports the state’s right to do things like this.

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  22. Pete George (21,799 comments) says:

    Viking – covered by the ODT:

    Mr Woodhouse yesterday became the first National Party MP to become a minister while living in the city. Others who were born in Dunedin had gone on in other electorates in New Zealand, in the days of first-past-the-post, to subsequently become ministers.

    There have been three previous National MPs in the city – the late Sir James Barnes served two terms from the snap 1951 election until 1957, the late Richard Walls served one term, 1975-78, and Katherine Rich was a list MP from 1999 until 2008.

    http://www.odt.co.nz/news/dunedin/243349/blue-tie-timely-present-mp

    Norm Jones was MP for Invercargill. That isn’t a suburb of Dunedin (yet).

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  23. Fletch (5,719 comments) says:

    wat, is putting pornographic magazines in brown paper and up high on a shelf out of the reach of children also against free speech? or are you in favour of them being able to read these?

    How about the censoring of movies, or the “R” rating of movies that prevent children from going to see them. Is that against free speech as well? The State has the right, nay, the responsibility of protecting our youngest members of society from adult perversions.

    And comparing the actions of one state against another is a strawman argument. You may as well compare NZ’s laws against the laws of Iran (where homosexuals are hung). If Britain follows the path they are on now, we may end up with a civilisation such as that depicted in Brave New World.

    “That’s a charming little group,” he said, pointing.
    In a little grassy bay between tall clumps of Mediterranean heather, two children, a little boy of about seven and a little girl who might have been a year older, were playing, very gravely and with all the focussed attention of scientists intent on a labour of discovery, a rudimentary sexual game.

    “Charming, charming!” the D.H.C. repeated sentimentally.
    “Charming,” the boys politely agreed. But their smile was rather patronizing. They had put aside similar childish amusements too recently to be able to watch them now without a touch of contempt. Charming? but it was just a pair of kids fooling about; that was all. Just kids.

    [...]

    Then, turning to his students, “What I’m going to tell you now,” he said, “may sound incredible. But then, when you’re not accustomed to history, most facts about the past do sound incredible.”

    He let out the amazing truth. For a very long period before the time of Our Ford, and even for some generations afterwards, erotic play between children had been regarded as abnormal (there was a roar of laughter); and not only abnormal, actually immoral (no!): and had therefore been rigorously suppressed.

    A look of astonished incredulity appeared on the faces of his listeners. Poor little kids not allowed to amuse themselves? They could not believe it.
    “Even adolescents,” the D.H.C. was saying, “even adolescents like yourselves …”
    “Not possible!”
    “Barring a little surreptitious auto-erotism and homosexuality–absolutely nothing.”
    “Nothing?”
    “In most cases, till they were over twenty years old.”
    “Twenty years old?” echoed the students in a chorus of loud disbelief.
    “Twenty,” the Director repeated. “I told you that you’d find it incredible.”

    ~ Aldous Huxley, Brave New World

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  24. Viking2 (10,703 comments) says:

    Thanks Pete.

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  25. Harriet (4,010 comments) says:

    Yes – Gays can love and nuture a child, but that is not enough to develop a child into an adult.

    With two gay males -or two females- a child misses out on the other half of the life long parenting experiance.

    Two gays and a child phsycologist is not a parenting model – not even a fourth order model. More importantly – it is not a childhood!

    No child ‘modeling’ calls for two gay males as parents – nor does it call for two straight males either!

    If straight males are mature enough to understand that, then one would think that gay males could too! :cool:

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  26. Rowan (1,728 comments) says:

    Bad luck for the Black Caps, Still a great result to win the ODI series in SA though and to come within one ball of a clean sweep

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  27. Fletch (5,719 comments) says:

    Good article in Canada Free Press about where Obama’s intentions toward the dismantling of the 2nd Amendment are leading America:

    Tyranny is coming in America, despite the fact that more than half of her citizens are too deluded, arrogant, or stupid to see it. If Obama’s policy processes continue unchecked, America will experience cataclysmic civil unrest; again, unfathomable to most Americans, this is precisely what Obama intends.

    The words of this President are so rife with fraud and deceit that good people simply cannot believe anyone appearing so benevolent could possibly be so bad. At this juncture I would ask the question, Do you believe that the President really wants to have an open and honest discussion with the American people about the “problem” of violence and the misuse of guns in crime?

    Has he ever followed through on conducting an open and honest discussion with the American people about anything? So we have our answer.

    A second question might be this: Do you believe that the President will alter his long-standing belief that no American should own a gun after this discussion is over? The third and final question, assuming the answers to the first two questions are “no,” is Might the training of American military and police in guerilla warfare techniques coupled with manuals in the “How to” of gun confiscation be an indicator of where this “discussion” is really going?

    If the answer to that one is “yes,” then have Americans just been convinced into thinking that the President is “open” to changing his thinking, and is “transparent” enough not to have a hidden agenda?

    Obama, with the eager cooperation of the American press and the anti-gun lobby, are creating the perception of Second Amendment proponents as manifestly evil. Not misguided, not wrong – but evil. As such, he will set the stage for all “reasonable” Americans to support the wholesale dismantling of the Second Amendment, and if this means wholesale firearms confiscation and the bloodshed to which this will no doubt give rise, so much the better. This will give him legitimacy in his move of declaring martial law – in fact, he will have “no choice,” so it will appear.

    This will be, as we’ve seen in so many other nations, the move across the threshold into totalitarian rule. We must never forget that this is a person who grew up studying and admiring Mao, Lenin, Stalin, and Castro – men who murdered hundreds of millions in their ascent to total dominion over their respective nations. Just this week, it was reported that a former senior military staffer revealed Obama’s new litmus test for top military brass: Can they give the order to fire on American citizens?

    http://www.canadafreepress.com/index.php/article/52657

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  28. Manolo (12,618 comments) says:

    What sort of scum would do this to a child? http://www.stuff.co.nz/dominion-post/news/8225953/Boy-in-state-care-gets-Nazi-tattoo

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  29. Reid (15,513 comments) says:

    Excellent infographic on the cost of war:
    http://demonocracy.info/infographics/usa/cost_of_war/cost_of_war.html

    France frustrated by Assad’s refusal to drop dead:
    http://www.presstv.ir/detail/2013/01/25/285425/france-says-things-not-moving-in-syria/

    This is about the Russian-Iran-Syria connection with China on the sidelines but on the side of that alliance. This is butting against the US-Israeli requirement to remove Syria to isolate and ultimately attack Iran. The UK and France are with the US. This won’t therefore go away but it can’t go forward, either.

    Dreamliner could be a disaster for Boeing, it already is, really:
    http://apnews.myway.com/article/20130125/DA41431O0.html
    http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/01/25/us-boeing-dreamliner-idUSBRE90M0ZO20130125

    I read a question on another blog about the cracked windscreen on a Dreamliner which is never mentioned, they only talk about the batteries. But he wondered if it maybe pointed to fuselage weaknesses. An interesting possibility I thought.

    This is one the ME regimes that supports the West. Good, aren’t they:
    http://rt.com/news/princess-torture-bahrain-detention-665/

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  30. krazykiwi (9,188 comments) says:

    I knew it: Scientists confirm man flu exists and men suffer more than women from colds.

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  31. nasska (9,489 comments) says:

    krazykiwi

    You’ve been spotted! :)

    Ref: https://www.dropbox.com/s/rcgrg0rwn041mr8/krazykiwi.jpg

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  32. hinamanu (2,352 comments) says:

    What a great interview with Kim Dotcom

    The US added charges because they can’t extradite him

    Kim Dotcom Wants to Encrypt Half the Internet – This guy is taking on the Feds

    http://www.dailypaul.com/271976/kim-dotcom-wants-to-encrypt-half-the-internet-this-guy-is-taking-on-the-feds?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+dailypaul%2FFClq+%28The+Daily+P.Au.L+-+Peace%2C+Gold%2C+Liberty+Forever%29&utm_content=FaceBook&utm_term=Ron+Paul

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  33. liarbors a joke (1,069 comments) says:

    Manolo (8,859) Says:
    January 26th, 2013 at 12:57 pm

    What ? Shes on a benefit, lost her kid to state care and is an import from Iran ? Back ya go sweetheart and take ya feral with ya.

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  34. wat dabney (3,434 comments) says:

    Fletch,

    The State has the right, nay, the responsibility of protecting our youngest members of society from adult perversions.

    The point remains that the state can and will also use such powers in ways you don’t approve of. The example being Britain where the same reasons you trot out are used to justify enforcing gay propaganda.

    If gay propaganda ends up being forced on NZ school children you can have no complaint; proponents will just repeat your own words back to you: It’s just state creating a better society.

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  35. Pete George (21,799 comments) says:

    ‘Arkonaut’ on Labour – “This is no way to run a political party.”
    http://yournz.org/2013/01/26/arkonaut-on-labour/

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  36. Reid (15,513 comments) says:

    Great visualisation of the big US bank exposures to derivatives which shows just how toxic they are and also shows just how dangerous untrammelled greed is given that what has caused this mess, which will be socialised, is a relative pittance in donations to get law makers re-elected while a small group of people reap the absolutely massive profits, just look at the link. That’s why this happened. And yet the journos in the US or even in this country have never bothered to connect those dots have they. No, much better to talk about local celeb goings on. That’s much more relevant and important.

    http://demonocracy.info/infographics/usa/derivatives/bank_exposure.html

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  37. Left Right and Centre (2,388 comments) says:

    The Phoenix want to move from the Caketin to Newtown Park.

    ????

    Are they insane!! It seats 1 000 or something and anyway it’s a piece of shit place for them to play. You might as well call fulltime on the Phoenix in Wellington now with that kind of suggestion coming from them.

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  38. Andrei (2,429 comments) says:

    Another from the department of “you’ve gotta be kidding me”.

    Lego accused of racism with Star Wars set

    Austria’s Turkish community said the model was based on Hagia Sophia mosque in Istanbul and that the accompanying figures depicted Asians and Orientals as people with “deceitful and criminal personalities.”
    The Turkish Cultural Community of Austria released a statement calling for Lego to apologise for affronting religious and cultural feelings.
    The anger was provoked by “Jabba’s Palace”, a model of the home of Jabba the Hutt from Lego’s Star Wars product range based on the blockbusting series of science fiction films.

    um Hagia Sophia (Holy Wisdom in Greek) was built as a Christian Cathedral so why aren’t Christian’s religious and cultural feelings. affronted by the fact this fellow called it a Mosque?

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  39. Manolo (12,618 comments) says:

    Broken link, Andrei.

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  40. liarbors a joke (1,069 comments) says:

    Greed…

    http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/crime/8224591/Former-Maori-All-Black-guilty-of-300k-theft

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  41. Andrei (2,429 comments) says:

    Broken link, Andrei.

    here

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/austria/9820517/Lego-accused-of-racism-with-Star-Wars-set.html

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  42. Manolo (12,618 comments) says:

    The sins of the flesh: http://dailycaller.com/2013/01/25/emails-show-fbi-investigating-sen-bob-menendez-for-sleeping-with-underage-dominican-prostitutes/

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  43. cha (3,529 comments) says:

    Neither a dead girl or a live boy Manolo so he’ll be sweet.

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  44. Left Right and Centre (2,388 comments) says:

    Andy Murray finally beats the old man at a grand slam.

    Who’s winning the final? Will Mr Aussie Open get off ‘Scot free’? Or will it be Murray in a hurry over the superb Serb?

    If Murray wins… he’ll add the Aussie to his US Open win… a pattern emerges of winning everything else except Wimbledon…. and a delicious irony for the Brits. If he could only win the French as well going into Wimbledon… hey, it’s not unrealistic now. That would be agonizing… everything else but his ‘home’ venue.

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  45. Left Right and Centre (2,388 comments) says:

    How many seconds into the first round will it take Francois Botha to KO SBW?

    If SB wins…. would that possibly be either the luckiest result in sports history, or the dirtiest jack up?

    I’d like to see a good fight so I think SBW should stick to pros in their 50s at least. 44… why, Francois is a veritable spring chicken!!

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  46. RRM (8,988 comments) says:

    Are there any real blokes on here able to advise whether used engine oil from a car is good as chain oil for a chainsaw?

    (I have found mixed reviews on the internet, from people vehemently opposed to those who’ve done it for a lifetime, and everything in between.)

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  47. Griff (6,263 comments) says:

    Does not stick as well as the real thing
    also contains acid and particles that will shorten the life of your chain
    not recommended if you like to keep a sharp saw

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  48. liarbors a joke (1,069 comments) says:

    False economy using sump oil. Will ruin ya chain. Stick to the chainbar oil.

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  49. Longknives (4,039 comments) says:

    Left Right and Centre-

    Novak will destroy the Scotsman in straight sets. He is absolutely unstoppable at the moment (well until he bumps into Nadal on clay…)

    As for the legendary Sonny Bill Williams (Who somewhat dubiously claims to be the greatest since Ali), my men in the know (boxing connections) tell me that Sonny wouldn’t have taken this fight unless some ‘arrangement’ had been made. The White Buffalo is reportedly strapped for cash..

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  50. nasska (9,489 comments) says:

    RRM

    Chain bar oil contains gum arabic which sticks to the moving parts as Griff pointed out. Nick down to your friendly farm supply store, eg Farmlands…..Aegis recycled oil is fairly cheap and IMHO as good as any.

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  51. nasska (9,489 comments) says:

    WAITAKERE CITY – OLYMPICS 2020
    In an attempt to influence the members of the international Olympic
    committee on their choice of venue for the games in the year 2020, the
    organisers of Waitakere City’s bid have already drawn up an itinerary and
    schedule of events. A copy has been leaked and is reproduced below.

    OPENING CEREMONY.
    The Olympic flame will be ignited by a petrol bomb thrown by a native of the
    city (preferably from the New Lynn area), wearing the traditional balaclava.
    The flame will be contained in a large chip van situated on the roof
    of the stadium.

    THE EVENTS.
    In previous Olympic games, Waitakere’s competitors have not been
    particularly successful. In order to redress the balance, some of the
    events have been altered slightly to the advantage of local athletes.

    100 METRES SPRINT.
    Competitors will have to hold a video recorder and microwave oven (one in
    each arm) and on the sound of the starting pistol, a police dog will be
    released from a cage 10 yards behind the athletes.

    100 METRES HURDLES.
    As above but with added obstacles (ie. car bonnets, hedges, gardens,
    fences, walls etc.).

    HAMMER THROW.
    Competitors in this event may choose the type of hammer (claw, sledge etc)
    The winner will be the one who can cause the most grievous bodily harm
    to members of the public within the time allowed.

    FENCING.
    Entrants will be asked to dispose of as much stolen silver and
    jewellery as possible in 5 mins.

    SHOOTING.
    A strong challenge is expected from the local men in this event. The
    first target will be a moving police van. In the second round,
    competitors will aim at a post office clerk, bank teller or Securitas
    style wages delivery man.

    BOXING.
    Entry to the boxing will be restricted to husband and wife teams, and will
    take place on a Friday night. The husband will be given 15 pints of Lion Red
    while the wife will be told not to make him any tea when he gets
    home. The bout will then commence.

    CYCLING TIME TRIALS.
    Competitors will be asked to break into the Kelston Boy’s bike shed
    and take an expensive mountain bike owned by some mummy’s boy from the
    country on his first trip away from home. All against the clock.

    CYCLING PURSUIT.
    As above but the bike will be owned by a visiting member of the Australian
    rugby team, who will witness the theft.

    MODERN PENTATHLON.
    Amended to include mugging, breaking and entering, flashing, joyriding and
    arson.

    THE MARATHON.
    A safe route has yet to be decided, but the competitors will be issued with
    sharp sticks and bags with which to pick up litter on their way round the course.

    SWIMMING.
    Competitors will be thrown off a bridge over the Whau Creek. The first
    three survivors back will decide the medals.

    MENS 50KM WALK.
    Unfortunately this will have to be cancelled as the police cannot guarantee
    the safety of anyone walking the streets of Waitakere City.

    GYMNASTICS.
    Will now be held in an abandoned meat works, and will include carcass
    vaulting and swinging from meat hooks.

    RHYTHMIC GYMNASTICS.
    All competitors will be graded on their ability to sway drunkenly to Metallica

    RELAY.
    Involves four competitors removing an appliance of their choice from a house
    in New Lynn and getting back to Henderson using at least four stolen cars.

    WRESTLING.
    The rules will now specify that competitors must be topless and jelly will be involved.

    BASEBALL.
    Requires contestants to line up with steel baseball bats. The medal will be
    awarded to the last man standing.

    DISCUS.
    Will be decided by which contestant can get a hubcap off a Holden and
    throw it to his mate the fastest.

    ROWING.
    The 500 metre skull will be changed to the 500 litre skull and promises to
    be the most hotly contested event. Many, many, many athletes are currently in training.

    THE CLOSING CEREMONY.
    Entertainment will include formation rave-dancing by the members of the
    Titirangi Health in the Community anti-drug campaigners, synchronised
    rock throwing and music by the Henderson Community Choir. The Olympic
    flame will be extinguished by someone dropping an old washing machine
    onto it from the top floor of the block of flats next to the stadium.
    The stadium will be then boarded up before the local athletes break into
    it and remove all the copper piping and the central heating boiler.

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  52. Griff (6,263 comments) says:

    A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, “Jeff proposed to me an hour ago.”

    “Then why are you so sad?” her mother asked.

    “Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn’t even believe there’s a hell.”

    Her mother replied, “Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we’ll show him how wrong he is.”

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  53. nasska (9,489 comments) says:

    Q. What’s the difference between a lesbian & a killer whale?

    A. Twenty kilos & a flannel shirt.

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  54. pollywog (1,153 comments) says:

    More cricket news…

    EX WEST INDIAN CRICKETER FRANKLYN ROSE GETS BEATEN TO A PULP OUTSIDE HIS AUCKLAND HOME BY 4 WHITE MUTHAFUCKAZ.

    Why is that not MSM worthy?

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  55. Viking2 (10,703 comments) says:

    Whale has a serious discussion going here.

    http://www.whaleoil.co.nz/2013/01/what-will-john-keys-legacy-be/

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  56. nasska (9,489 comments) says:

    Off White with an Attitude.

    …”Why is that not MSM worthy?”…..

    Regrettably such omissions are the result of Political Correctness…..if a cricketer got ‘the bash’ from four Pasifikans it couldn’t be reported in case the suntanned ones ended up with hurt feelings.

    Consequently in the interests of fairness incidents such as you describe have to be ignored too.

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  57. Griff (6,263 comments) says:

    Pollywog you over your little melt down then.?
    Not by much I see you vocab has not improved in your break.
    Here is the mainstream media on you little story from last year
    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10848190..
    I agree with you whites bashing a black guy is newsworthy unlike blacks bashing a white guy that is just normal

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  58. Steve (North Shore) (4,318 comments) says:

    RRM, bit like the rockhounds who cut rocks with a diamond blade and use old oil/kero.
    Use non flamable oil, like in transformers.
    Oil is oil and it’s use is to lubricate and remove wear particles, hence oil change in an engine.
    So chains wear out and can be replaced, the bar wears as well.
    Use good new oil

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  59. Viking2 (10,703 comments) says:

    http://mediacdn.disqus.com/uploads/mediaembed/images/422/1047/original.jpg

    Hat tip whaleoil

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  60. MT_Tinman (2,790 comments) says:

    RRM (6,180) Says:
    January 26th, 2013 at 6:54 pm
    Are there any real blokes on here able to advise whether used engine oil from a car is good as chain oil for a chainsaw?

    Used sump oil for years when I was doing a bit of commercial felling.

    Filtered it fairly well and it worked perfectly fine.

    The main saws I used at the time were Lombard and Zenoa (not Xenoa, an inferior saw) and had no trouble with either using a greaseable, rolling tip bar (well greased at all times).

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  61. Scott Chris (5,675 comments) says:

    Are there any real blokes on here able to advise whether used engine oil from a car is good as chain oil for a chainsaw?

    Don’t. The chain oil auto feed filter gets blocked so you end up with a dry chain. Bitter experience.

    But a good sticky synthetic engine oil works fine in my experience.

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  62. liarbors a joke (1,069 comments) says:

    Chainsaws are for men scottchris…what do you know about them ? I mean..arent you…one of..well, you know..

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  63. Rodders (1,790 comments) says:

    evenin’ starboard…

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  64. Griff (6,263 comments) says:

    http://news.ninemsn.com.au/national/2013/01/26/08/00/qld-residents-prepare-for-storm-tides

    Aussie seems to be getting hit with extreme weather. This time its rain

    We last saw the result of a king high tide and storm surge when sandy hit new york.

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  65. liarbors a joke (1,069 comments) says:

    Evening Rodders…hows the fissure..

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  66. Rodders (1,790 comments) says:

    No problems to report, thanks…how’s the IBS?

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  67. Judith (5,660 comments) says:

    Fissures, IBS? Ouch!
    Is this a meeting of the Proctologist Society?
    ;-)

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  68. Rodders (1,790 comments) says:

    ;)

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  69. chiz (1,095 comments) says:

    Scientists make discovery of earth-shattering importance:

    The European debt crisis is threatening millions of jobs, undermining the common European currency and causing civil unrest. Now two researchers have identified another disturbing consequence: the crisis may be skewing the results of the annual Eurovision Song Contest.

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  70. Scott Chris (5,675 comments) says:

    I mean..arent you…one of..well, you know..

    In your dreams laj, but if you’re looking for a date why not try Harriet. He’s a repressed homosexual too.

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  71. pollywog (1,153 comments) says:

    oh bullshit nasska!

    if it was a former nz rugby/cricket player overseas itd be reported.

    fuck political correctness!…dude spent days in hospital FFS!!!

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