A more fun political party

March 7th, 2013 at 2:00 pm by David Farrar

A much more fun political party than the one I just blogged on below is the Canadian Rhino Party.

Operating within the tradition of political satire, the ’s basic credo, their so-called primal promise, was “a promise to keep none of our promises.”[1] They then promised outlandishly impossible schemes designed to amuse and entertain the voting public.

And:

The party claimed to be the spiritual descendants of Cacareco, a Brazilian rhinoceros who was elected member of São Paulo‘s city council in 1958, and listed Cornelius the First, a rhinoceros from the Granby Zoo, east of Montreal, as its leader.[4] It declared that the rhinoceros was an appropriate symbol for a political party since politicians, by nature, are “thick-skinned, slow-moving, dim-witted, can move fast as hell when in danger, and have large, hairy horns growing out of the middle of their faces.”

I like their abortion policy:

A candidate named Ted “not too” Sharp ran in Flora MacDonald‘s Kingston and the Islands riding with the campaign slogan “Fauna, not flora“, promising to give fauna equal representation.[8] He also took a stand on abortion (promising, if elected, never to have an abortion) and capital punishment: “If it was good enough for my grandfather, then it’s good enough for me.”

And defence policy:

To strengthen ’s military, Sharp planned to tow Antarctica north to the Arctic Circle. “Once we have Antarctica, we’ll control all of the world’s cold. If another Cold War starts, we’ll be unbeatable.”

And best of all:

Rather than awarding money as prizes in the lottery, the winners would be appointed to the Canadian Senate.

And kudos to Belgium:

Offering to call off the proposed Belgium-Canada war if Belgium delivered a case of mussels and a case of Belgian beer to Rhinoceros “Hindquarters” in Montreal (the Belgian Embassy in Ottawa did, in fact, do this)

The war was due to Tintin having shot a rhinoceros!

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12 Responses to “A more fun political party”

  1. Grant Michael McKenna (1,160 comments) says:

    He didn’t shoot the rhino- he drilled hole in its back, inserted dynamite, and blew it up. Redrawn in later editions to simply frightening the rhino by accident.

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  2. David in Chch (519 comments) says:

    They were a wonderful addition to the Canadian political landscape, sort of like the McGillicuddy Serious Party or Alf’s Imperial Army in NZ.

    I remember that in one election, the Rhinoceros Party came a close second to the winning candidate in one Quebec riding. Their tactic? They ran TWO candidates in the next election, with the same name, so that they split the Rhino vote. Their point was to satirise the whole process, so that actually winning a seat was the last thing they wanted to do. Too bad – it would have been interesting to have had a Rhinoceros Party MP in Parliament.

    They effectively disbanded when the main motivator and driving force (so to speak) behind the party, quit to embark on an international study of what is funny where, the similarities and the differences.

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  3. hinamanu (2,352 comments) says:

    The trouble with these fringe lunacy parties is they don’t understand people want to vote for them to rebel against the establishment. If they don’t want the electorate to vote for them they should simply make social commentaries and not qualify themselves for the voting process

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  4. Graeme Edgeler (3,289 comments) says:

    I think my favorite policy may be this one:

    Adopting the British system of driving on the left; this was to be gradually phased in over five years with large trucks and tractors first, then buses, eventually including small cars and bicycles last.

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  5. David in Chch (519 comments) says:

    Ah, but hinamanu, they were better able to satirise the process as candidates. They would actually show up to the all-candidates meetings, and be given time to speak and debate. It made it easier for them to make their social commentary, and to send up the process. It had much more impact doing it as they did. Otherwise, they would simply have been one of the many other faceless commentators that people largely ignore.

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  6. Rodders (1,755 comments) says:

    a promise to keep none of our promises

    Sounds like NZ First. Baubles anyone?

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  7. ChardonnayGuy (1,207 comments) says:

    I think that it’s sad we don’t have a parody party in New Zealand any more. I propose the Corrective Party of New Zealand, populated by pre Vatican II SM (Sisters of Mercy) Nuns who are dedicated to Spanking, which would ideally suit all the sado-maso-Christians who got strangely excited over the disappearance of Section 59 of the Crimes Act several years ago. All of them could come of the dungeon :) and discuss their barely repressed and sublimated urges to redden rearends for righteousness amongst the ungodded.

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  8. ChardonnayGuy (1,207 comments) says:

    Fundraising wouldn’t be a problem for the Correctives, they could just have a whip around :) :)

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  9. ChardonnayGuy (1,207 comments) says:

    Or, how about the Zombie Party, an entity that stands up (all right, lurches sort of vertically, albeit at an angle) in defence of the rights of that persecuted group, the undead! Each year, thousands of zombies are deaded on our television and movie screens and it has to stop!!! Some of them look (vaguely) human (especially some of the newer ones) and they have human genetic codes!!! Zombie hunting is killing!!! Defend the undead!!!

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  10. Cato (1,095 comments) says:

    You really hate Catholics, don’t you?

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  11. ChardonnayGuy (1,207 comments) says:

    Now who doesn’t have a sense of humour, Cato? Lighten up, dude! :)

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  12. Cato (1,095 comments) says:

    Ok

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