Great Kiwi humour
March 13th, 2013 at 2:00 pm by David FarrarA friend and his wife are staying with me. They are back in NZ for a couple of weeks from the UK.
Was very amused to hear of their interaction with Immigration NZ at Auckland Airport.
The Passport Officer noticed he was a returning Kiwi, but his wife was not. She commented that he had been away for a while and asked if he would be having a Kiwi Mince Pie now he is back.
He replied in the affirmative, and she then turned to his wife and asked her if she would let him have a pie when he is in New Zealand, explaining it is the Kiwi thing to do.
She then went one step further and told the wife that in fact she was making it a condition of her entry into New Zealand that she would let him eat a pie while in New Zealand.
My friend was pleased enough with this assistance from Immigration New Zealand, but even more delighted when the Passport Officer became even more supportive and further declared to his wife that her entry conditions now included letting him do whatever he wanted to in New Zealand and asked her to verbally assent to these conditions, to which she did – to his great delight.
I doubt there are many countries where you can have that sort of humourous banter with government officials. It would never happen I suspect in the UK, but it did reflect our very Kiwi humour – gently hassling. And it actually made for a great welcome into NZ (for him anyway!) from the usual boring dross of immigration queues.
Long may it last.
I suspect the only people upset with this exchange will be the humour-impaired or the anti-obesity coalition that keeps trying to get pies banned!
March 13th, 2013 at 2:08 pm
That’s disgraceful from government officials. They should be promoting healthy culturally appropriate food.
Something like puha and pork bones (all meat and fat removed).
Vote:March 13th, 2013 at 2:28 pm
Shame Jones did the same with the Chinese citizen(s) he sponsored and asked for donations to the socialist Labour Party.
Vote:March 13th, 2013 at 2:33 pm
I have had scary moments with humorlessness custom officials. Had particular problems in Vietnam and Ecuador.
Vote:March 13th, 2013 at 2:36 pm
I have always found our Border patrol people to be the friendliest and most engaging and have the same reports from a number of over seas friends and work colleagues over the years.
Vote:By contrast on my many visits to the UK and as a direct descendant of UK stock I have encountered some very rude and surly people of ‘cough’ other former colonies of the turban wearing kind
March 13th, 2013 at 2:48 pm
@lastmanstanding
Vote:I agree about our Bordor patrol – makes a pleasant change from LAX (say).
March 13th, 2013 at 2:54 pm
On the contrary, on my last trip back home, I had a very pleasant exchange with the passport bloke enquiring why I was back after such a long interval, what it was like out here etc etc…quite strange to get a genuinely expressed “welcome home” at the border in both directions…
Vote:March 13th, 2013 at 2:58 pm
@James S – Oh THAT guy, yeah he’s not so bad.
Vote:March 13th, 2013 at 2:58 pm
Wait for Greens to ask for an enquiry into “security lapses” at the border…..and Shearer to support that in principle…..
Vote:March 13th, 2013 at 3:01 pm
A good introduction to NZ.
Pity the Aussies on their border are so anal. Sort of spoils the entry into Australia when they heavy you.
Vote:March 13th, 2013 at 3:09 pm
Hope he was reminded that he must blow on the pie.
Vote:March 13th, 2013 at 3:38 pm
SGA
SFO much much better than LAX!
Vote:March 13th, 2013 at 3:45 pm
I dare say that the wife realised he would be getting 100% beef with no horsey added.
Vote:March 13th, 2013 at 3:45 pm
NZ customs are fantastic….have been greeted with a “welcome home” on a number of occasions, and it really is a nice way to finish a long journey.
On the other hand have often had surly experiences in Aus though to the credit of the customs officers they seem to have improved over the last year or two.
Vote:March 13th, 2013 at 3:58 pm
I must admit I hanker for the days when you’d rock up off the ferry at Dover with a car full of booze and tax-free baccy for the Kent blackmarket (way to fund the ferry tickets for lads football weekender in Belgium) and the driver would wave the British Passports at the fella in the box who would vaguely check the number corresponded to the number of lads in the car…not even handed over, never mind opened…happy days.
Vote:March 13th, 2013 at 4:09 pm
James S>not even handed over, never mind opened
Been there, done that. Several times. Flew in to Amsterdam Schiphol from the UK late one night and found all the immigration counters unmanned. I was first off the plane and a quick walker. I spotted one of the immigration guys across the arrival hall holding a coffee, waved my passport at him, and he indicated that I should just go on through.
NZ immigration were responsible for one of my stranger border experiences. I arrived at Auckland from the UK in 2007. I’d booked my ticket online. The immigration guy wanted to see my ticket. “I don’t have one printed”, I said. “We can’t let foreigners in to the country without one”, he replied. I pointed out that he was holding my NZ passport and therefore he knew that didn’t apply. He turned to a colleague and asked if he’d heard about booking tickets online. He had, but was a little tentative. In the end I opened up my laptop, found the e-mail, and showed him the electronic ticket.
It was all very odd. I believe they wanted to know whether I’d arrived from the UK or the Hong Kong stopover. Surely the best way to do this would be for Air NZ to supply them a list, rather than rely on an open laptop, or a bit of paper that could be forged and printed on any $80 printer.
Vote:March 13th, 2013 at 4:29 pm
Great kiwi schmeh.
Bill Bryson has a similar story about the sense of humour of UK border officials in comparison to U.S. counterparts (who have none.) I don’t think we’re the only nation on earth where people have a sense of humour…
Vote:March 13th, 2013 at 5:16 pm
Yes, great story!
So unlike the Aussie Customs guy we encountered when we went to Brisbane one Christmas – some years ago now – who asked me to unwrap Christmas presents that I had in my luggage for my wife and daughter – who were standing by my side.
We do not look like deadbeats, hippies, low-lifes or any other category of iffy traveller, BTW.
(Well not in my opinion anyway!!)
Vote:March 13th, 2013 at 6:20 pm
“That’s disgraceful from government officials. They should be promoting healthy culturally appropriate food.
Something like puha and pork bones (all meat and fat removed).”
Like tasty Human Brains Pete?
Vote:http://www.heretical.com/cannibal/nzealand.html
March 13th, 2013 at 10:17 pm
Just have to comment that I have had a humorous experience at lax. Young chap hassled me asking whether I was a he/she. Reminded me of getting crap from my mates back here in NZ. Best customs experience I have had.
Vote:March 13th, 2013 at 10:28 pm
This is both good economics and good border security. It’d good economics because it’s likely that the immigration officer is the first New Zealander a visitor will speak to, and first impressions last. I had a similar experience when I immigrated 22 years ago, had dirty rugby boots in the bag and the guy was very funny and very helpful. Just sets the whole thing up. It’s good border security because it breaks the conversation away from yes / no / thank’ee sir to much more subtle things where a well-trained officer can pick up much more.
Anyway, great to hear.
Vote:March 14th, 2013 at 3:04 am
So the joke was “HAHA NEW ZEALANDERS LIKE PIES!?!?!?!” Hilarious.
Don’t get me wrong I’d rather get shitty jokes than the gestapo treatment, but sounds like this guy shouldn’t give up his day job.
Vote:March 14th, 2013 at 11:51 am
I bought a bottle of whisky in Cassablanca , and they customs took it from me in Dubai.
Vote:So I bought another bottle of whisky exiting Dubai to Sydney.
The Australian customs said you can not take that liquid to New Zealand.
He was a Maori fellow, succewssful in the lucky country , and he said ” I look away now, you can have a swig, and then you put the fluid in here, rubbish”.
And I did, a bloody big swig , it lasted until Christchurch, and then I arrived at Christchurch
I said to customs “please do not wake up squirrel from London, he was in the trees and I caught him, but he is tired now”
Please don’t interrupt my squirrel from Hyde park London, he is resting in the luggage.
It took me two hours to get out of NZ customs.
March 14th, 2013 at 12:06 pm
Fun at the border 2.
I walked up to the checkpoint at LAX, and the machine yelled metal .. ,, . beep beep.
A snarling guard told me ” trake off your braces , take off everything metal”
I proceeeded to take off my strides since they had a metal zip.
This dude had a big carbine, it was just in those early days of paranoea about mixing liquids on aeroplanes.
Every ten seconds there was a voice over about not leaving you bags without you for even four seconds.
” Whart in hell are you doing” the Los Angeles snarl said .. ,,
Vote:I replied ” you told me to take off everything metal, so here goes”
This little twenty year old came right up to my face, he said ” if you want a ride in a car , some very dirty accommodation, just keep it up I arrange it for you ”
I said
“Ok you tell me which metal you want me to take off, and which metal is OK, and I will try to do it.”
March 14th, 2013 at 9:46 pm
Re-entering the US after a day trip to Tijuana the customs official wanted me to perform a haka to prove I was a New Zealander.
Vote:March 15th, 2013 at 1:11 pm
Hmmm, when I was back in NZ last month all I got at immigration was a machine to scan my passport. No fun, but nice and efficient.
Vote: