Poor Michael Jackson
March 8th, 2013 at 3:40 pm by David FarrarMeagan Dillon of Northern Territory News reports:
A MAN charged with having sex with a pet pig called Michael Jackson on a Territory island has appeared in a Darwin court.
The 35-year-old man, who cannot be named for legal reasons, sat in the dock at Darwin Magistrates Court charged with having sexual intercourse with an animal and indecent behaviour in public in November last year.
The NT News understands Michael Jackson had to be shot following the incident at Alyangula, on Groote Eylandt.
Why did they shoot the pig? Would have been better to shoot the guy!
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March 8th, 2013 at 3:46 pm
Now that’s what I call makin’ bacon.
Vote:March 8th, 2013 at 3:56 pm
Clearly the Aussies have a pig rape culture.
Vote:March 8th, 2013 at 4:05 pm
Anyone remember the picture that was doing the rounds a few years ago of that unfortunate guy that got crushed by a boulder whilst making love to a chicken?
Vote:March 8th, 2013 at 4:12 pm
Not a good day for the pig, really.
Vote:March 8th, 2013 at 4:14 pm
Will we see pigs added to the same sex marriage act………………
Sorry – same GENDER marriage act.
Vote:March 8th, 2013 at 4:37 pm
The guy doesn’t get named for legal reasons, but the pig does and gets shot as well?
Vote:March 8th, 2013 at 4:41 pm
The relevant section of the Tongan Criminal Offences Act used to read:
136.”Whoever shall be convicted of the abominable crime of … bestiality with any animal shall be liable at the discretion of the Court to be imprisoned for any period not exceeding 10 years and such animal may be killed by a public official”
As some wag had it, not only did you go to jail, but your girlfriend got shot!
Sadly the the words after ” not exceeding 10 years…” in the last line were repealed in 1990…
Vote:March 8th, 2013 at 4:47 pm
Sounds almost Islamic… get raped, then executed as an adultress…
Or maybe the pig was the instigator? Anything’s possible, remember the 12-year-old led Graham Capill on…
Vote:March 8th, 2013 at 4:53 pm
Maybe they were worried the pig would talk!
Vote:March 8th, 2013 at 5:05 pm
RRM: Did she lead him on? I thought one of his defences was “consent”…despite the mongrel being well aware from his legal training – and career as a prosecutor – that 12 year olds cannot give consent…There are also “other aspects” of Capill’s case that make him a prime candidate for Rule .303, but those aspects are subject to suppression orders…in this particular case, well justified suppression orders..
Come on Russell! Make a complete f**k of yourself again, and argue to the contrary….
Vote:March 8th, 2013 at 5:13 pm
Don’t blame it on the pig..
Blame it on the boogie.
Vote:March 8th, 2013 at 5:18 pm
Well obviously Billie Jean was not his lover…
Vote:March 8th, 2013 at 5:22 pm
Must have been one charming mofo pig!
Vote:March 8th, 2013 at 5:24 pm
Squeal, 2boyz, worried he’d squeal…
Vote:March 8th, 2013 at 5:28 pm
Disturbingly too, Aussie’s Board of Film Classification passed a docco about zoophilia entitled “Donkey Love” for screening at the Oz Underground film festival last year, despite scenes of actual human/animal paraphilia. Why do the Australians have to make it so easy for us to take the mickey…:)
Vote:March 8th, 2013 at 5:30 pm
In my opiniuon sexual deviancy is a medical rather than a criminal situation. Down here in Christchurch we had a perfectly recognised teacher shooting video up womans dresses. Well my point is if I want a woman I would say ” take off your clothes woman” and they usually do. I don’t think we need to be to be to paranoid about fundamental sexual problems as long as people are not truly harmed. I mean for Gods sake if someone shoot a video up my pants all they see is a small cock,worst underpants, boring
Vote:March 8th, 2013 at 5:32 pm
Ahem…the supposition is that the pig was a sow……with a name like Michael, maybe it was a Boar that just adored anal sex. Fits right in with the current cause célèbre of same sex er…sex.
Vote:March 8th, 2013 at 5:34 pm
Oh and one would hope that it was wearing lipstick.
Vote:March 8th, 2013 at 5:34 pm
Of course Miss Michael had to die. No-one buys a pig in a poke.
To those laughing about Aussies, what about the old goldfields road in Otago – the Pig Root? (The miners may have misspelled it “route”)
Vote:March 8th, 2013 at 5:36 pm
Wahine! disgraceful! go and cleanse yourself woman…
Vote:March 8th, 2013 at 5:51 pm
Why’d they shoot the pig? I can only assume that whatever he was doing was more than just having sex.
Vote:March 8th, 2013 at 6:16 pm
If you have ever met an Australian woman, you’ll be in a position to understand this gentleman’s actions!
Vote:March 8th, 2013 at 6:53 pm
David G, you snorted, admit it…
Vote:March 8th, 2013 at 7:11 pm
Now what really happened to Michael Jackson the pig? Shot but what happened to the pig?
Vote:Where is the pork? On the dinner table? Burried at sea?
Who started first? the guy or the pig? Some wierdo put the lipstick on the pig and the guy just went with the flow – free root
March 8th, 2013 at 7:36 pm
Porking?
Vote:March 8th, 2013 at 8:02 pm
Anyone see the irony with Michael Jackson getting molested? The words re-incarnation and karma spring to mind.
Although in saying that I don’t believe Michael Jackson was a child molester so it actually wouldn’t be karma.
Vote:March 8th, 2013 at 8:50 pm
…but if they cooked the pig with garam masala and ginger, it could be korma.
Vote:March 8th, 2013 at 9:06 pm
new packaging label:
‘No pig(s) called Michael Jackson, were shot, destroyed or even rooted in the making of this bacon.’
Vote:March 8th, 2013 at 9:28 pm
@Nostalgia. Ah, Nosty, still wide of the mark, old chap. Still trying to make a silk purse outs of a sow’s ear…
Vote:March 8th, 2013 at 9:50 pm
Whose pig was it? That’s all that matters.
Hilarious, which is why it was reported – except of course for the point that it is (accordingly to the law) morally ok to kill and eat the pig, indeed it is ok to strap the pig down in a laboratory and test chemicals on it.
… but somehow a crime to stick one’s penis into it. Work that into your moral compass. Does the pig have rights, or is it ok to have crimes which are about “ew we don’t like people doing that sort of thing because it makes us feel squeamish”. In which case, the gates are open for a long list of all sorts of behaviour to be criminalised, like urolagnia and coprophagia (don’t google it if you find bestiality squeamish, you wont be able to eat for hours).
I doubt removing such a victimless crime would result in a sudden rush of bestiality.
The guy might be strange, he might be a bit sad, but it’s no reason to waste money and time engaging the criminal justice system with it, unless it wasn’t his pig, in which case it was a property crime (conversion). Moreover, it’s simply morally wrong to give someone a criminal record for doing something that doesn’t harm anyone else.
Of course David, you’re showing your real communist credentials joking it would have been better to shoot the guy – you couldn’t get away with that joke if it was an obese ethnic minority lesbian with a mental illness now could you?
Vote:March 8th, 2013 at 10:23 pm
@David Garrett 5:05 pm
You up for Rule .303 re Capill, David?
That would get two arseholes out of circulation.
Vote:March 8th, 2013 at 11:03 pm
Yeah, way to bring down a relatively amusing thread Toad.
Vote:March 9th, 2013 at 12:05 am
Its a shame the pig had to be shot…. no doubt The Truth would have been running an exclusive interview with it..
Vote:March 9th, 2013 at 12:39 am
This story is based on events in a suburb of Wellington in the 1970′s … (apparently a descendant was conceived) but it cannot be made public until the embargo on the official papers expires. The original NZ Truth had the story but Crown legal action forced them to withdraw the issue before it was on sale.
Vote:March 9th, 2013 at 9:38 am
@toad: Not for the first time, you have confirmed your status as a complete moron.
Not that we really needed the confirmation….
Vote:March 9th, 2013 at 1:01 pm
Aussie pig would be safer than a ChCh gayboy!
http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/health/8402842/Syphilis-back-with-a-vengeance
Vote:March 9th, 2013 at 3:39 pm
John, you really didn’t just write what I thought you did…ick.
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