Caption Contest

June 14th, 2013 at 2:46 pm by David Farrar

Key the Kiwi

 

Words fail me, Hopefully not you, so make your comments below. As always captions should be funny, not nasty.

Tags: , ,

71 Responses to “Caption Contest”

  1. hmmokrightitis (1,506 comments) says:

    “Its my Captain Mumblefuck headgear, like it?”

    Vote: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 1 You need to be logged in to vote
  2. Manolo (13,327 comments) says:

    Georgina will envy me.

    Vote: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  3. Scott Chris (5,870 comments) says:

    John Kiwi.

    Vote: Thumb up 10 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  4. Dave Stringer (182 comments) says:

    Told you I was a real Kiwi bloke!

    Vote: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  5. Pete George (22,754 comments) says:

    Something like that should be as rare as a unicorn.

    Vote: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1 You need to be logged in to vote
  6. Johnboy (14,911 comments) says:

    “I can always out cockatoo a ginga aussie galah” ! :)

    Vote: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 1 You need to be logged in to vote
  7. OTGO (510 comments) says:

    Top of the pecking order me.

    Vote: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  8. Tristan (63 comments) says:

    Holdor!

    Vote: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  9. jackkerouacsnephew (27 comments) says:

    he is the best Prime Minister in the history of my country,
    he will deAL TO nz fIRST

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  10. jackkerouacsnephew (27 comments) says:

    he is the best Prime Minister in the history of my country,

    Vote: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1 You need to be logged in to vote
  11. cha (3,779 comments) says:

    Best Attenborough voice:

    By some strange evolutionary occurrence, the
    nervous system of this bird’s eyelids is
    connected to its foreskin. Every time it
    winks, it wanks and every time it wanks, it
    winks.

    Vote: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 3 You need to be logged in to vote
  12. Ed Snack (1,733 comments) says:

    NOW will you believe that I’m a real Kiwi ?!??

    Vote: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1 You need to be logged in to vote
  13. tvb (4,196 comments) says:

    He is best Prime Minister by far.

    Vote: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 1 You need to be logged in to vote
  14. Johnboy (14,911 comments) says:

    Didn’t Helen have a bigger one? :)

    Vote: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  15. KiwiGreg (3,169 comments) says:

    Oh you said “I’m a chick head”?

    Vote: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  16. Fox (201 comments) says:

    “John Key auditions for NZ’s Next Male Top Model”

    Vote: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  17. KiwiGreg (3,169 comments) says:

    Knitted by Helen Clark, she signed it and all.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  18. berend (1,631 comments) says:

    “Hi, I’m John Key and I’m the Prime Minster of a serious country.”

    Vote: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  19. skyblue (197 comments) says:

    I now look like David Shearer aka Richard Cranium.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  20. BeaB (2,056 comments) says:

    Shearer is too chicken to wear a hat like this.

    Vote: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  21. Johnboy (14,911 comments) says:

    “Tony Ryall told me I’ll only have to wait six days to have it moved three foot lower”.

    Vote: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  22. Kerikeri (1 comment) says:

    Behold, the rare twin-beaked kiwi!

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  23. Jack5 (4,569 comments) says:

    I’m going as Trevor Mallard – Duck Man.

    Vote: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  24. Colville (2,062 comments) says:

    I saw the photo on Stuff…I thought it would be the Sub Standard using it for a caption contest not here…

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 6 You need to be logged in to vote
  25. RRM (9,427 comments) says:

    Hope for a generation
    Beyond my reach, not beyond my sight

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  26. Johnboy (14,911 comments) says:

    The difference between lefties and righties Colville is that we righties actually have a fuckin sense of humour! :)

    Vote: Thumb up 11 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  27. Cunningham (811 comments) says:

    “First there was Kiwibank, then Kiwirail and now I introduce to you ‘KiwiPM’. Unlike the previous 2, I will not cost the country dearly.”

    Vote: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  28. PaulL (5,872 comments) says:

    Notice how I’ve cunningly camouflaged my tin foil hat, nobody is noticing a thing.

    Vote: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  29. Peter (1,577 comments) says:

    I can look like this and still poll ten times higher than Shearer.

    Vote: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  30. Changeiscoming (135 comments) says:

    See Redbaiter is right I am progressive.

    Vote: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  31. Kiwi Dave (69 comments) says:

    The Prime Minister laughed off claims by the Greens that government scientists had genetically engineered a kiwi sheep.

    Vote: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  32. Judith (7,486 comments) says:

    “don’t laugh, you have no idea how much I’m saving on hair product by wearing this”.

    or

    “if you think this is a big pecker, you should see the size of …………..” (and so on)

    or

    “just because I have bird on my head it should not be taken as an indication I’m feathering my own nest”

    Vote: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 3 You need to be logged in to vote
  33. KiwiGreg (3,169 comments) says:

    Still a better look than the APEC shirt

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  34. KiwiGreg (3,169 comments) says:

    Said the kiwi “would you believe this started out as a wart on my arse?”

    Vote: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  35. Johnboy (14,911 comments) says:

    Gee Judith. Did you get to win “Most likely to fail girl in your class award” for your wit or your width? :)

    Vote: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1 You need to be logged in to vote
  36. Peter (1,577 comments) says:

    John was so confident of his poll ratings, he came dressed as Catherine Delahunty for a laugh.

    Vote: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  37. jawnbc (44 comments) says:

    Light too bright; sticking my head back in the hole.

    Vote: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  38. 2boyz (250 comments) says:

    Like my new ‘winter Weave’!

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  39. coventry (316 comments) says:

    I borrowed this off Nandor

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  40. MajorBloodnok (361 comments) says:

    This one is much warmer than the last codpiece I tried on.

    Vote: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  41. b1gdaddynz (279 comments) says:

    That is why people like him…doesn’t take himself too seriously!

    Vote: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 1 You need to be logged in to vote
  42. Michael (894 comments) says:

    “No, still not making a bigger dick of myself than Shearer does.”

    Vote: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  43. Kleva Kiwi (281 comments) says:

    I can wear this ridiculous hat, and still run the country better than any Labour Hack!

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  44. Viking2 (11,125 comments) says:

    Woody Wood Pecker

    Spy Detail.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFz4BYh9O2E :lol:

    http://www.google.com/webhp?btnG=Google+Search#gs_rn=17&gs_ri=psy-ab&suggest=p&cp=7&gs_id=ap&xhr=t&q=Woody+woodpecker&es_nrs=true&pf=p&output=search&sclient=psy-ab&oq=Woody+w&gs_l=&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_qf.&bvm=bv.47883778,d.aGc&fp=310f72deac444e51&biw=1024&bih=573

    Enjoy.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  45. Keeping Stock (10,092 comments) says:

    “From now on, you will all call me Captain Beaky”

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  46. Shunda barunda (2,965 comments) says:

    “New Kiwi species discovered, strangely, forest & bird declare it of no ‘National’ significance”

    Vote: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  47. Shunda barunda (2,965 comments) says:

    “Newly discovered twin beaked Kiwi said to have more resilience against introduced Australian pests”

    Vote: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  48. Tookinator (204 comments) says:

    “Iusually store it down my trousers….”

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  49. kino flo (81 comments) says:

    Fish guards kiwi.

    Vote: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  50. Andronicus (219 comments) says:

    “Of course I take my job seriously, whatever gave you that idea?”

    Vote: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  51. Dennis Horne (2,059 comments) says:

    Who said I can’t see passed the end of my nose?

    Vote: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  52. Roflcopter (420 comments) says:

    “Goldfish attacks PM while seagull craps on his head.”

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  53. Dennis Horne (2,059 comments) says:

    Cock a doodle do!
    To Shearer: “Boo hoo”
    The public you can’t woo
    ‘Cos you don’t know what to do.

    Vote: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  54. Johnboy (14,911 comments) says:

    Jeeze Dennis. How can you be considered as Poet Laureate of KB with rhymes such as those? :)

    Vote: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  55. marcw (223 comments) says:

    “I just poked my head in to say hello, but they still saw through my cunning plan.”

    Vote: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  56. marcw (223 comments) says:

    “It’s less gay than your red jersey.”

    Vote: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  57. mavxp (493 comments) says:

    John Key announces that in addition to feeding New Zealand’s children breakfast, they will also be clothed with “Goodnight Kiwi” themed outfits, to ensure they are warm during their morning walks to school. He followed this announcement with news that Japanese-designed toilets were to be installed in all NZ primary schools, which includes the feature of wiping their little arses after they poop. David Shearer countered this announcement by stating that Labour would in addition provide the feature-filled toilets to all NZ holmes, since “wiping the parents arses was clearly where government dollars should be spent.”

    Vote: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  58. Dennis Horne (2,059 comments) says:

    @JohnBoy. Quite happy to pass the torch!

    Cock a doodle do!
    Shearer’s in the poo
    Robinson’s in the wing
    And Cunliffe’s still got sting
    I’m John Keywee playing ballyhoo.

    Vote: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  59. wf (371 comments) says:

    Dennis, it doesn’t scan!

    It should read like this:

    Dumpity dumpity dum
    Dumpity dumpity dum
    Di dumpity dum
    Di dumpity dum,
    Di dumpity dumpity dum!

    Lines 1,2 and 5 rhyme, and 3 & 4 also, but with a different rhyme.

    Vote: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1 You need to be logged in to vote
  60. Steve (North Shore) (4,491 comments) says:

    “Hey Shearer, I’m doing this on purpose to show the Labour Party what dickheads look like. Your turn to show us what dickheads look like. What’s that? Sorry could not hear you. You know you can not do that to yourself, well maybe in the Labour Party you can”

    Vote: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  61. Dennis Horne (2,059 comments) says:

    @wf. Is this better?

    Dumpity dumpity dum
    Dumpity dumpity dum
    Di dumpity dum
    Di dumpity dum,
    Di dumpity dumpity dum! :)

    Vote: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  62. Judith (7,486 comments) says:

    Dennis Horne (1,338) Says:
    June 14th, 2013 at 7:49 pm

    —————————–

    I’m sorry, but I think that final line should have more emphasis and end with an added ‘Di dum’, to provide a sort grand ending.

    Vote: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 3 You need to be logged in to vote
  63. Dennis Horne (2,059 comments) says:

    @Judith. Always willing to take lessons, Judith. Actually, wf is wrong. Limerick form is 1,2,5 rhyme; 3,4 rhyme. It’s up to the reader to make it scan, if he can.

    Vote: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1 You need to be logged in to vote
  64. Fletch (6,004 comments) says:

    “I’ve been internalising a really complicated situation in my head”.

    Vote: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  65. Mark (1,360 comments) says:

    John has been voted “dick of the day”by the National Caucus and is required to wear that for 24 hours :)

    Vote: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1 You need to be logged in to vote
  66. KevinH (1,131 comments) says:

    Gee Normie these Greens parties are a riot, especially that funny smelling cake, but heck you can still get fucked.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  67. ChardonnayGuy (1,131 comments) says:

    “Er John, that’s not the funny hat you need to wear if you want to become a Freemason…”

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  68. Shunda barunda (2,965 comments) says:

    Kiwi f@ck head!!

    (that was from my wife) ;)

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  69. SPC (5,334 comments) says:

    Nothing sticks to a unicorn.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  70. duggie (20 comments) says:

    Labour has nitwits, National has knit wit.

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote
  71. Jamescng (1 comment) says:

    “I escaped from my Jesuit minders – hahaha- where is the nearest primary school?”

    Vote: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 You need to be logged in to vote

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.