Caption Contest

June 14th, 2013 at 2:46 pm by David Farrar

Key the Kiwi

 

Words fail me, Hopefully not you, so make your comments below. As always captions should be funny, not nasty.

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71 Responses to “Caption Contest”

  1. hmmokrightitis (1,586 comments) says:

    “Its my Captain Mumblefuck headgear, like it?”

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  2. Manolo (13,571 comments) says:

    Georgina will envy me.

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  3. Scott Chris (6,058 comments) says:

    John Kiwi.

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  4. Dave Stringer (188 comments) says:

    Told you I was a real Kiwi bloke!

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  5. Pete George (23,474 comments) says:

    Something like that should be as rare as a unicorn.

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  6. Johnboy (16,059 comments) says:

    “I can always out cockatoo a ginga aussie galah” ! :)

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  7. OTGO (544 comments) says:

    Top of the pecking order me.

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  8. Tristan (63 comments) says:

    Holdor!

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  9. jackkerouacsnephew (27 comments) says:

    he is the best Prime Minister in the history of my country,
    he will deAL TO nz fIRST

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  10. jackkerouacsnephew (27 comments) says:

    he is the best Prime Minister in the history of my country,

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  11. cha (3,943 comments) says:

    Best Attenborough voice:

    By some strange evolutionary occurrence, the
    nervous system of this bird’s eyelids is
    connected to its foreskin. Every time it
    winks, it wanks and every time it wanks, it
    winks.

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  12. Ed Snack (1,848 comments) says:

    NOW will you believe that I’m a real Kiwi ?!??

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  13. tvb (4,360 comments) says:

    He is best Prime Minister by far.

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  14. Johnboy (16,059 comments) says:

    Didn’t Helen have a bigger one? :)

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  15. KiwiGreg (3,244 comments) says:

    Oh you said “I’m a chick head”?

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  16. Fox (206 comments) says:

    “John Key auditions for NZ’s Next Male Top Model”

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  17. KiwiGreg (3,244 comments) says:

    Knitted by Helen Clark, she signed it and all.

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  18. berend (1,704 comments) says:

    “Hi, I’m John Key and I’m the Prime Minster of a serious country.”

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  19. skyblue (209 comments) says:

    I now look like David Shearer aka Richard Cranium.

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  20. BeaB (2,118 comments) says:

    Shearer is too chicken to wear a hat like this.

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  21. Johnboy (16,059 comments) says:

    “Tony Ryall told me I’ll only have to wait six days to have it moved three foot lower”.

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  22. Kerikeri (1 comment) says:

    Behold, the rare twin-beaked kiwi!

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  23. Jack5 (5,051 comments) says:

    I’m going as Trevor Mallard – Duck Man.

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  24. Colville (2,261 comments) says:

    I saw the photo on Stuff…I thought it would be the Sub Standard using it for a caption contest not here…

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  25. RRM (9,826 comments) says:

    Hope for a generation
    Beyond my reach, not beyond my sight

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  26. Johnboy (16,059 comments) says:

    The difference between lefties and righties Colville is that we righties actually have a fuckin sense of humour! :)

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  27. Cunningham (840 comments) says:

    “First there was Kiwibank, then Kiwirail and now I introduce to you ‘KiwiPM’. Unlike the previous 2, I will not cost the country dearly.”

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  28. PaulL (5,965 comments) says:

    Notice how I’ve cunningly camouflaged my tin foil hat, nobody is noticing a thing.

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  29. Peter (1,699 comments) says:

    I can look like this and still poll ten times higher than Shearer.

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  30. Changeiscoming (184 comments) says:

    See Redbaiter is right I am progressive.

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  31. Kiwi Dave (86 comments) says:

    The Prime Minister laughed off claims by the Greens that government scientists had genetically engineered a kiwi sheep.

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  32. Judith (8,534 comments) says:

    “don’t laugh, you have no idea how much I’m saving on hair product by wearing this”.

    or

    “if you think this is a big pecker, you should see the size of …………..” (and so on)

    or

    “just because I have bird on my head it should not be taken as an indication I’m feathering my own nest”

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  33. KiwiGreg (3,244 comments) says:

    Still a better look than the APEC shirt

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  34. KiwiGreg (3,244 comments) says:

    Said the kiwi “would you believe this started out as a wart on my arse?”

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  35. Johnboy (16,059 comments) says:

    Gee Judith. Did you get to win “Most likely to fail girl in your class award” for your wit or your width? :)

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  36. Peter (1,699 comments) says:

    John was so confident of his poll ratings, he came dressed as Catherine Delahunty for a laugh.

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  37. jawnbc (81 comments) says:

    Light too bright; sticking my head back in the hole.

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  38. 2boyz (260 comments) says:

    Like my new ‘winter Weave’!

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  39. coventry (321 comments) says:

    I borrowed this off Nandor

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  40. MajorBloodnok (361 comments) says:

    This one is much warmer than the last codpiece I tried on.

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  41. b1gdaddynz (279 comments) says:

    That is why people like him…doesn’t take himself too seriously!

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  42. Michael (904 comments) says:

    “No, still not making a bigger dick of myself than Shearer does.”

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  43. Kleva Kiwi (288 comments) says:

    I can wear this ridiculous hat, and still run the country better than any Labour Hack!

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  44. Viking2 (11,412 comments) says:

    Woody Wood Pecker

    Spy Detail.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFz4BYh9O2E :lol:

    http://www.google.com/webhp?btnG=Google+Search#gs_rn=17&gs_ri=psy-ab&suggest=p&cp=7&gs_id=ap&xhr=t&q=Woody+woodpecker&es_nrs=true&pf=p&output=search&sclient=psy-ab&oq=Woody+w&gs_l=&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_qf.&bvm=bv.47883778,d.aGc&fp=310f72deac444e51&biw=1024&bih=573

    Enjoy.

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  45. Keeping Stock (10,290 comments) says:

    “From now on, you will all call me Captain Beaky”

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  46. Shunda barunda (2,977 comments) says:

    “New Kiwi species discovered, strangely, forest & bird declare it of no ‘National’ significance”

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  47. Shunda barunda (2,977 comments) says:

    “Newly discovered twin beaked Kiwi said to have more resilience against introduced Australian pests”

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  48. Tookinator (221 comments) says:

    “Iusually store it down my trousers….”

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  49. kino flo (82 comments) says:

    Fish guards kiwi.

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  50. Andronicus (219 comments) says:

    “Of course I take my job seriously, whatever gave you that idea?”

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  51. Dennis Horne (2,388 comments) says:

    Who said I can’t see passed the end of my nose?

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  52. Roflcopter (455 comments) says:

    “Goldfish attacks PM while seagull craps on his head.”

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  53. Dennis Horne (2,388 comments) says:

    Cock a doodle do!
    To Shearer: “Boo hoo”
    The public you can’t woo
    ‘Cos you don’t know what to do.

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  54. Johnboy (16,059 comments) says:

    Jeeze Dennis. How can you be considered as Poet Laureate of KB with rhymes such as those? :)

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  55. marcw (243 comments) says:

    “I just poked my head in to say hello, but they still saw through my cunning plan.”

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  56. marcw (243 comments) says:

    “It’s less gay than your red jersey.”

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  57. mavxp (479 comments) says:

    John Key announces that in addition to feeding New Zealand’s children breakfast, they will also be clothed with “Goodnight Kiwi” themed outfits, to ensure they are warm during their morning walks to school. He followed this announcement with news that Japanese-designed toilets were to be installed in all NZ primary schools, which includes the feature of wiping their little arses after they poop. David Shearer countered this announcement by stating that Labour would in addition provide the feature-filled toilets to all NZ holmes, since “wiping the parents arses was clearly where government dollars should be spent.”

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  58. Dennis Horne (2,388 comments) says:

    @JohnBoy. Quite happy to pass the torch!

    Cock a doodle do!
    Shearer’s in the poo
    Robinson’s in the wing
    And Cunliffe’s still got sting
    I’m John Keywee playing ballyhoo.

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  59. wf (426 comments) says:

    Dennis, it doesn’t scan!

    It should read like this:

    Dumpity dumpity dum
    Dumpity dumpity dum
    Di dumpity dum
    Di dumpity dum,
    Di dumpity dumpity dum!

    Lines 1,2 and 5 rhyme, and 3 & 4 also, but with a different rhyme.

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  60. Steve (North Shore) (4,546 comments) says:

    “Hey Shearer, I’m doing this on purpose to show the Labour Party what dickheads look like. Your turn to show us what dickheads look like. What’s that? Sorry could not hear you. You know you can not do that to yourself, well maybe in the Labour Party you can”

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  61. Dennis Horne (2,388 comments) says:

    @wf. Is this better?

    Dumpity dumpity dum
    Dumpity dumpity dum
    Di dumpity dum
    Di dumpity dum,
    Di dumpity dumpity dum! :)

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  62. Judith (8,534 comments) says:

    Dennis Horne (1,338) Says:
    June 14th, 2013 at 7:49 pm

    —————————–

    I’m sorry, but I think that final line should have more emphasis and end with an added ‘Di dum’, to provide a sort grand ending.

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  63. Dennis Horne (2,388 comments) says:

    @Judith. Always willing to take lessons, Judith. Actually, wf is wrong. Limerick form is 1,2,5 rhyme; 3,4 rhyme. It’s up to the reader to make it scan, if he can.

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  64. Fletch (6,294 comments) says:

    “I’ve been internalising a really complicated situation in my head”.

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  65. Mark (1,479 comments) says:

    John has been voted “dick of the day”by the National Caucus and is required to wear that for 24 hours :)

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  66. KevinH (1,217 comments) says:

    Gee Normie these Greens parties are a riot, especially that funny smelling cake, but heck you can still get fucked.

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  67. ChardonnayGuy (1,199 comments) says:

    “Er John, that’s not the funny hat you need to wear if you want to become a Freemason…”

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  68. Shunda barunda (2,977 comments) says:

    Kiwi f@ck head!!

    (that was from my wife) ;)

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  69. SPC (5,595 comments) says:

    Nothing sticks to a unicorn.

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  70. duggie (27 comments) says:

    Labour has nitwits, National has knit wit.

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  71. Jamescng (1 comment) says:

    “I escaped from my Jesuit minders – hahaha- where is the nearest primary school?”

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