Selfish

June 2nd, 2013 at 7:42 am by David Farrar

Simon Day at Stuff reports:

A father-son bonding session planned by a North Island primary school was cancelled after a single mother demanded to be included.

Two “Band of Brothers” seminars were arranged by Matakana School to help fathers get more involved in their sons’ lives, and as a forum for dads to share their issues. One session was for dads and another was for fathers and sons. A solo mum wanted to attend but was told she couldn’t because her presence would inhibit discussion. She was told a mother and son seminar was planned for later in the year.

“We really just wanted an opportunity for the guys to open up and chat, and they wouldn’t particularly want to do if there were females around – which I think is understandable,” said principal Darrel Goosen.

The woman’s son was welcome at the second seminar and the guest speaker offered a specific session with her and her son but she continued to insist on attending, Goosen said, so the school board decided to cancel the event.

How incredibly selfish.

“In hindsight we realise we may have offended some single parents, for which we apologise, as this was never our intention,” said a school note to families.

It’s not the school that should be apologising.

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57 Responses to “Selfish”

  1. Manolo (13,399 comments) says:

    Sign of the times in today’s politically correct NZ.
    Ignore the complaint and go ahead with the bonding session, instead of apologising, you school board cowards.

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  2. Andrei (2,506 comments) says:

    But but but – this is so unfair to the kids who have two moms and all the other wacky “non traditional family set ups”.

    After all it is important in this day and age to make sure that the lunatics remain firmly in charge of the asylum and part of that is to pander to the “gender is a social construct” crowd.

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  3. Dave Stringer (183 comments) says:

    Wot Andrei said

    but a bit more tongue in cheek :-)

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  4. Chuck Bird (4,686 comments) says:

    Andrei, is spot on but here is another thought.

    What would happen if the first night was a mother and daughter night and a solo father wanted to come with his daughter?

    It is nice to see DPF agrees with Bob McCoskrie on some things.

    I wonder if the woman is a widow or if she even knows who the father is. It would not surprise me if she was the type who blocked access.

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  5. radvad (666 comments) says:

    Agree with Andrei.
    This school is waaaay behind the times. Didn’t they know that fathers are sooooo last century and have been replaced by parent 1 & 2. How long before “son” and “daughter” morphs into “gender neutral offspring” or some similar nonsensical term?

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  6. Martin Gibson (227 comments) says:

    This sounds like something the Ministry of Men’s Affairs would intervene in . . . oh that’s right, the rudder’s jammed in one direction when it comes to taxpayer-funded outrage, steering us merrily around in ever-decreasing circles toward a lint coloured Marxist sameness.

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  7. Paulus (2,503 comments) says:

    Stupid woman – what good is she doing to her son and other children ?

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  8. Nukuleka (217 comments) says:

    Be prepared for much more of this absurdity as the radical feminist agenda that was behind the same sex marriage law gains more and more momentum. Fathers and men in general will continue to be pushed further and further into the background. That, sad to say, is the basic tenet of the radical feminist agenda. We reap what we sow.

    The same sex marriage debate was always a lesbian issue.

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  9. Lloyd (125 comments) says:

    That is a Board of Trustees without balls. Whoops, I mean, integrity.

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  10. kowtow (7,653 comments) says:

    Don’t know why any “progressive” would complain.

    This is just “progress” in full flow.

    From single parent families to schools arranging bonding sessions,the whole thing is a mess. Well done ,you’ve wrecked a once strong,proud, functioning society.

    As the Good Book says You reap as you sow.

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  11. slightlyrighty (2,496 comments) says:

    As a Dad who would welcome such an event, this board and this woman should hang their heads in shame.

    The importance of a Dad or father figure in a boys life in integral in his upbringing. We have forgotten this as the role of a father becomes more and more marginalised. What does this woman do on fathers day? I hope this woman is treated with the contempt she deserves to be, especially by those fathers who have missed out.

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  12. Scott Chris (5,893 comments) says:

    Well done ,you’ve wrecked a once strong,proud, functioning society.

    It’s a linguistic tradition to space one’s punctuation correctly.

    Some people have so little respect these days.

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  13. iMP (2,247 comments) says:

    Yup. Being male is now banned in NZ. Here is a really good macho Rant! Bullrush, feminist lesbians, and eunuchs who take their wive’s surname. Give me strength.

    http://conzervative.wordpress.com/2013/06/02/no-male-thanks-were-genderless-nz/

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  14. Scott Chris (5,893 comments) says:

    Incidentally, I’ve heard a rumour that the only reason why the session was cancelled was because this woman and her unfortunate child were the only confirmed attendees.

    Apparently all the Dads were too busy to attend.

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  15. Urban Redneck (234 comments) says:

    Fathers play a quintessential role in the sound development of both boys and girls. Unfortunately today, in our sordid appetite for trophy children and big E equality, the closest thing some children will come to having a father was a turkey baster filled with semen.

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  16. davidp (3,540 comments) says:

    >“We really just wanted an opportunity for the guys to open up and chat, and they wouldn’t particularly want to do if there were females around

    Are their really blokes around who are unable to “open up and chat” if there are women around? What is wrong with them? Are they Raj from The Big Bang Theory or something?

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  17. Colville (2,085 comments) says:

    Real bonding sessions…and you can even take your daughter!

    http://www.deerstalkers.org.nz/hunts/

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  18. Nostalgia-NZ (4,918 comments) says:

    Who is being precious here, good luck to her for wanting to attend – wouldn’t have bothered me if I was one of the fathers and more particularly so as the boy would have been otherwise unable to attend. Sound like a bunch of closed minded idiots ready to exclude a child from some activities because of an absent father.

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  19. Chuck Bird (4,686 comments) says:

    Has anyone asked John Key what he thinks about this? He seems to have an opinion on all social issues. That make it appear that he thinks is opinions counts more than the peasants he is meant to represent.

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  20. The Scorned (719 comments) says:

    Its stupid left wing PC crap….but don’t try and conflate the liberalizing of gay marriage with this sort of huffy butt-insky socialist BS….two very different things. Gay marriage in itself forces nothing upon no one…it simply releases artificial and immoral restraints upon peoples rights and heightens equality before the state and the law.

    If this Woman has the backing of some State force behind her then it most certainly is wrong.

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  21. RightNow (6,676 comments) says:

    I was thinking this was a case of the woman being selfish all the way up until I read the comment from the psychologist:

    “I understand where the mother is coming from. The implications are that that child will feel incredibly left out if they are the only child without a dad who is going to a seminar like that.”

    Yes, sad for the sons with fathers that didn’t get to go, but also sad for the son without a father to go with him. Not an easy situation, but I think the school would have been better to allow the woman to go with her son.

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  22. kowtow (7,653 comments) says:

    scoot cras @927

    Punctillious prat.

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  23. Kimble (4,383 comments) says:

    If I beat my child or was psychologically bullying him I sure would want to attend this event to make sure he didnt have an opportunity to say anything!

    Of course, I don’t beat my child or bully him. I reckon it would take someone of a particularly selfish and domineering personality to do that.

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  24. Nukuleka (217 comments) says:

    ‘…but don’t try and conflate the liberalizing of gay marriage with this sort of huffy butt-insky socialist BS….two very different things. Gay marriage in itself forces nothing upon no one’

    This is naive nonsense. You’ve been hoodwinked by the radical lesbian mafia.

    Fast forward 10 years till primary and secondary schools hold their annual compulsory ‘lesbian mother and daughter’ evenings. D’you reckon “fathers” or men in any guise are going to be welcomed? Of course not.

    Father/ son and Mother/ daughter evenings in schools have been going on for yonks with no arguments whatsoever and only positive outcomes for the kids and parents involved. It is no coincidence whatsoever that an issue like this has now arisen within the climate of same sex marriage.

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  25. Michael (896 comments) says:

    I have to ask – where is the dad of this child? Shouldn’t he be the one going to the father/son thing.

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  26. RRM (9,478 comments) says:

    Somehow there is a connection between this solo mum and gay marriage??!?

    Well bugger me! :-)

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  27. gump (1,491 comments) says:

    Perhaps the problem is that schools shouldn’t be running these types of events.

    A privately run seminar would be entitled to restrict its audience.

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  28. Dennis Horne (2,059 comments) says:

    There was once an old pansy called Chwis
    Who talks like a fool with a lis’
    Smart arse teaches wanking and grammar
    About all he can drive with his “hammer”
    And grateful students say: “Yes Miss”.

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  29. radvad (666 comments) says:

    Quote of the day

    “We have become a weak reactionary society like a flock of sheep all herding if anyone barks.”

    http://conzervative.wordpress.com/2013/06/02/no-male-thanks-were-genderless-nz/#more-37865

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  30. kowtow (7,653 comments) says:

    RRM @1030

    Yes there’s a direct connection between this and bum marriage. The progressives call it “equality.”

    The rest of us call it insanity.

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  31. Harriet (4,534 comments) says:

    Economic difficulties:

    ■In America, among families with dependent children, only 8.3 per cent of married couples were living below the poverty line, compared to 47.1 percent of female-headed households.

    ■Also in the US, a nationally representative sample found this: “In 2005, the median income for married couples was $66,067, which was $35,000 more than the median income for single mothers, $19,000 more than that of single fathers, $43,000 more than that of single women, and $24,000 more than that of single men. Married couples made up 79 percent of the highest quintile income and 17.9 percent of the lowest income quintile.”

    ■In Australia, a recent study of 500 divorcees with children five to eight years after the separation found that four in five divorced mothers were dependent on social security after their marriages dissolved.

    ■Figures from Monash University’s Centre for Population and Urban Research show that family break-up, rather than unemployment, is the main cause of the rise in poverty levels in Australia.

    ■A joint report from AMP Life and Canberra University’s National Centre for Social and Economic Modelling says that divorce leaves both partners worse off economically, but women tend to experience the biggest fall in disposable income.

    And this one:

    ■A recent US study “found that by far the ‘biggest factor’ associated with child poverty in a county is the proportion of households headed by unwed mothers with children under 18 years of age.” They established that every 1 percentage-point increase in these households correlates with a 1.2 percentage-point increase in the county’s child-poverty rate.

    http://www.billmuehlenberg.com/2013/05/17/the-facts-on-fatherlessness-part-one/

    http://www.billmuehlenberg.com/2013/05/17/the-facts-on-fatherlessness-part-two/

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  32. Harriet (4,534 comments) says:

    “….but don’t try and conflate the liberalizing of gay marriage with this sort of huffy butt-insky socialist BS….two very different things….”

    Give quiche a chance and it will become meat and three veg?…..LOL! :cool:

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  33. Scott Chris (5,893 comments) says:

    Yeah, well while we’re on the subject of grammar, in order to work phonetically, a limerick has to scan.

    Hint: It’s to do with the number of syllables in each line.

    Such as:

    There was an old weirdo called Dennis,
    Who wouldn’t know irony if irony was a cricket bat and he was a gentle full toss :mrgreen:

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  34. liarbors a joke (1,069 comments) says:

    ..well you wouldn’t know how to be a father scott chris, being a confirmed homosexual and all..run along , the men folk are discussing important issues.

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  35. mandk (824 comments) says:

    Interesting to see on Stuff that almost 350 comments have been posted already, and that the huge majority of commenters are appalled by the actions of this woman and, more importantly, the moral cowardice that caused the school to cave in.

    Dare one hope that we are beginning to see the start of a fight back against political correctness and the disgraceful anti-father bias that has infected life?

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  36. Dennis Horne (2,059 comments) says:

    An attempt at a limerick by whittle Chwis
    Tying to be a real man, to take the piss
    A couple of lines is all he can do
    Mincing like a lady dodging some poo
    Everyone please send whittle Chwis a big kiss.

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  37. Tautaioleua (289 comments) says:

    This is disgusting. Schools are flooded with female teachers, female receptionists, female principals, most boards of trustees co-opt female representatives if none were elected by the ballot, heck even school cleaners are more likely to be female.

    And the one event for boys and their fathers is canned because of the opinion of one parent? sack the board of trustees for God sake.

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  38. gump (1,491 comments) says:

    Is “Band of Brothers” related to the Christian men’s group of the same name?

    Because I’d be unhappy if state funded public school resources were being used by groups wanting to proselytize.

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  39. Redbaiter (7,643 comments) says:

    Does it bother you that the whole school system proselytises for the progressive / left liberal political pardigm? Jesus you obsessive secularists are a trying bunch of sanctimonious log in the eye arsewipes.

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  40. tvb (4,210 comments) says:

    Where is the father of the child?? Obviously the useless slag got pregnant without regard for how the child is to be raised. Bet she is on welfare.

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  41. wreck1080 (3,735 comments) says:

    Welcome to the ridiculousness world of school parent politics.

    There is an equally ridiculous issue going on at my childs school just now. I just laugh and it is clear the feminisation of schooling is at fault.

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  42. KevinH (1,132 comments) says:

    ” a solo mother wanted to attend”

    What’s the problem? The woman is a solo mum who is prepared to attend, congratulations to her for showing enough concern for her son by taking the time to attend. Shame on the school for cancelling.

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  43. Kimble (4,383 comments) says:

    What’s the problem?

    A solo father would be able to attend without disrupting the events planning.

    The ‘solo’ has NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

    Would a father be welcome at a mums and daughters event? How might the presence of a male affect the discussion?

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  44. Dennis Horne (2,059 comments) says:

    This rule is really such a bum
    For those poor men without a son
    What on Earth are they to do?
    Say to teacher, Boohoo hoo?
    Decision’s made when they did come.

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  45. OneTrack (2,624 comments) says:

    “Would a father be welcome at a mums and daughters event? How might the presence of a male affect the discussion?”

    But that is “different”

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  46. gump (1,491 comments) says:

    @Redbaiter

    The only thing that bothers me is you. So please keep your “religion” where it belongs.

    Our nation is secular in character. Our school system should reflect that.

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  47. Right of way is Way of Right (1,129 comments) says:

    I find this woman’s stance to be incredibly offensive! What is she so afraid of in men bonding and passing on knowledge, standards, ethics, values?

    In tribal societies, men have often been the repository of such values, but as we become more and more marginalised, we will lose these societal norms, and all of us will be poorer as a result.

    Someone, somewhere in that school, please, take a stand, tell this woman that it is ‘Mens Business’ and tell her to butt out. Find a trusted friend, uncle, grandfather to stand ‘in loco parentis’ and give us back our sacred bond with our sons!

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  48. Colville (2,085 comments) says:

    650 comments on the Stuff story about this.

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  49. Dennis Horne (2,059 comments) says:

    Stroppy woman fighting to cover her guilt
    The hairs on her chest will not wilt
    Striving to show sonny needs no father
    Even thought he’d probably rather
    To see the milt of what he’s built.

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  50. Andronicus (219 comments) says:

    I’d bet this woman is a Maori hairy legged lesbian, hand wringing, tree hugging, bed wetting, do gooding Labour voting trade union delegate

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  51. Left Right and Centre (2,825 comments) says:

    Aren’t you a bit surprised that the school didn’t see this coming? No anticipation?

    And since schools are woman dominated…. really, they didn’t see this coming?? hahaha…. you can only laugh….

    The practical solution is to simply hold it privately and tell Mum to fuck off… she’s not invited, so moan to Susan Devoid about it.

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  52. itstricky (1,580 comments) says:

    I’d bet this woman is a Maori hairy legged lesbian, hand wringing, tree hugging, bed wetting, do gooding Labour voting trade union delegate

    I’d bet this guy is a white, wrinkled, bald, bed wetting, cynical ACT voting rich prick.

    Ew look, everyone can play this game!

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  53. Fentex (867 comments) says:

    If I felt it my place to bitch about anyone in this story it’d be the fathers – why is it a school has to remind and organize them to spend time and attention on their children?

    And what is the issue fathers and sons present such that a school feels a need to address it? Do the people getting angry here ever berate schools for going beyond the simple remit of teaching the 3-Rs? Surely for many the consistent position would be for the school to keep it’s nose out of parenting all together.

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  54. Liberal Minded Kiwi (1,563 comments) says:

    It only took Andrei how many seconds to attribute this to the gay marriage law change. Will he roll this out when something else happens? If we have another earthquake or something will this also be the wrath of God?

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  55. Kea (11,878 comments) says:

    Be prepared for much more of this absurdity as the radical feminist agenda that was behind the same sex marriage law gains more and more momentum.

    The war is won. Our feminist masters are just tidying up a few details.

    Even the sceptical KB folk have been taken in and still support the “women as victims” myth, as they jump on their high horses to play the white knight in shining armour. A few more men in this country need to stop and think with their big heads and see they are being played.

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  56. Kea (11,878 comments) says:

    Here’s ya problem ….

    Fentex (213) Says:
    June 3rd, 2013 at 10:54 pm
    If I felt it my place to bitch about anyone in this story it’d be the fathers

    Yep, it is the MANS FAULT, for fucks sake what a nation of pussy whipped grovelling wimps.

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  57. mumzee72 (8 comments) says:

    You selfish selfish woman and that poor boy you’re raising. How embarrassing for him! Woman fight for equality and you can’t give these guys one night. It’s not there fault you’re a solo mum and do you not have any male friend that could stand in or have you nagged them away.

    This attitude gives all us mums a bad name. I’d so support a plan to get the guys talking just like I’d support a girls group … oh that’s coffee

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