The Labour pork barrel update

September 9th, 2013 at 4:00 pm by David Farrar

The aspiring Prime Ministers have been busy with their promises since my last update. In fact I hear on the grapevine that their promises have even started to alarm some of their colleagues, including David Parker who would have to produce an alternate budget that could find it all!

  Cunliffe Jones Robertson
       
Raise taxes on rich pricks Yes No Yes
Living wage for all Govt staff and contractors Yes   Yes
Minimum wage $15/hr Yes   Yes
Full employment Yes   Yes
Living wage for all Yes    
Pacifica TV channel Yes Yes  
Regulate food prices   Yes  
A home for everyone     Yes
Taxi drivers to earn more Yes    
Increase tax rate on trusts Yes    
Subsidies for tree planting Yes    
Repeal all of National’s employment changes Yes   Yes
Expand ban on house purchases to Australians   Yes  
Extend Northern Rail Link to North Port Yes Yes  
Extend Part 6A from vulnerable workers to all workers Yes    
50% female quota for caucus Yes   Yes
Not block the “man ban” if party wants it Yes   Yes
Scrap Kapiti Expressway Yes    
Possibly buy back SOEs Yes    
Possibly keep Super age at 65, not 67 Yes    
Subsidies or “support” for wood processing     Yes
A second cable to the United States     Yes
Extend 2014 target for Treaty settlements to 2020     Yes
Make Police Commissioner apologise to Tuhoe     Yes
National awards within 100 days of election Yes    
Restore Napier to Gisborne rail line Yes   Yes
Tax incentives for regional businesses   Yes  
Change Reserve Bank focus from inflation to employment     Yes
Extend Training Incentive Allowance to beneficiaries     Yes
A living allowance for all students     Yes
Financial Transactions Tax     No
Allowances for post graduate students     Yes
Repeal VSM law     Yes
Relocate government services to Dunedin   Yes  

If you spot or hear a pork promise, let me know so I can keep the list updated!

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57 Responses to “The Labour pork barrel update”

  1. Ian McK (237 comments) says:

    Elucidates what irresponsible, fiscally illiterate will do to get some power, so as to implement their foul agenda. These three rodents are nothing short of evil, even Islam would appear a better option than the doctrine this rubbish spout. And to think, yes, we are paying for this fiasco, and it is not chicken shit either; a damn disgrace, and all to appease leeching unionists and bludgers.

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  2. MPH (18 comments) says:

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

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  3. MPH (18 comments) says:

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

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  4. queenstfarmer (782 comments) says:

    MPH, Robertson’s intention seems pretty clear to me. Otherwise, let’s hear Robertson categorically rule out living allowances for students.

    DPF, I think you need to include raising superannuation for both Cunliffe & Robertson, as this would necessarily follow a raise to the minimum wage (and associated rise in inflation, living costs, etc).

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  5. BeeJay (72 comments) says:

    Truly unbelievable! So unbelievable that it is scary! Are there Kiwis who will be sucked in by the garbage being spouted by these three idiots? I do feel somewhat comforted by the old adage – you can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time! Unless we have produced a few recent generations of absolute fucking idiots!

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  6. Urban Redneck (234 comments) says:

    The last sensible utterance I heard Gareth Morgan say was on TV3 prior to the 2005 election, and it was:

    “Labour have an open cheque book”

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  7. anonymouse (705 comments) says:

    Cunliffe upgraded his $15 min wage to within 100 days of being elected last night
    http://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/PA1309/S00160/leading-labour-in-dunedin-david-cunliffe-speech.htm

    There is a whole lotta “Son, your ego is writing checks your body can’t cash.” going on with this lolly scramble,

    oh, he also added “The Labour Party I lead will be a true red Labour Party” I think this one is added to make DPF eat his words from a few years ago :)

    “His Labour Party is not an anti-business Labour Party, but a party that understands business”
    http://www.kiwiblog.co.nz/2010/07/selling_cunliffe.html

    Yeah right…..

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  8. Fisiani (1,052 comments) says:

    Have any of the candidates pledged to scrap National Standards to placate the teacher unions.

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  9. Pauleastbay (5,035 comments) says:

    MPH how long have you been rostered on by party central?

    Please show me the labour policy regarding more money for taxi drivers. What about more money for all contractors you mong. You like these three prats have no fucking idea.

    Please show me a western country that has full employment.

    A Pacifica TV channel easy, just get two hours of TV from Samoa ,Fiji, Tonga everyday and show it here – but if you have ever been to Samoa you will know that a lot of their TV is from TVNZ anyway . But you wont know this because making comments like you have above shows you know SWFA

    A living wage for all, I like this one, for me to live at my absolute potential I actually need a salary of $457,312.00. I am looking forward to this.

    You are a fuck wit ,sucked in by the promise of some servile little party position should labour ever be elected again. I wouldn’t be holding my breath for my servile little position actually because these three clowns have ensured labour are toast.

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  10. scrubone (3,097 comments) says:

    You forgot “String up John Key by his private parts”.

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  11. Yvette (2,763 comments) says:

    their promises have even started to alarm some of their colleagues

    Which is a point I have tried to make several times
    Which of these promises are actually official Labour Party promises?
    Why are these three fuckwits running around making stuff up, rather than explaining how their skills would best implement conference approved policy

    Whoever is the new leader, he will have to start by explaining which of four alternate policy lists is official – one of the three contenders or the actual party’s.
    Mad bastards.
    Merde

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  12. burt (7,424 comments) says:

    MPH

    There have been a few “new” things announced, largely at a principled level

    If your only principle is win at any cost – then yes they are principled “new” things.

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  13. Black with a Vengeance (1,868 comments) says:

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

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  14. Roflcopter (467 comments) says:

    We don’t want to hear about your problems BwaV

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  15. Pauleastbay (5,035 comments) says:

    A living allowance for all students - high school ( lovin’ it, kids can buy own computer games) or just university bludgers?

    Possibly buy back SOE’s – what with?
    ,>Expand ban on house purchases to Australians - Austraila then goes fuck off Kiwi’s and we get 1/2 a million back here many to go on benefits – good plan.
    Allowance for post graduate students – You’ve been at university all your life go and get a job, clever people will get job offers from Google, fuck wits stay here go to Otago and tell us – if you drink a lot you’ll have lots of sex partners!!!!!! education at its finest.
    Regulate food prices look forward to a GUM store opening near you.
    Restore Gisborne – Napier train line I have a mate in the timber industry who would love this but he has actually done the numbers with the CEO of KiwiRail and knows its a pipe dream.
    minimum wage of $15 fuck it lets make it $123 per hour ,just go for it.

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  16. Pauleastbay (5,035 comments) says:

    The genuine labour supporter ( there is such a thing) must be crying themselves to sleep at night. They know that that this power grab has destroyed any credibility that the greedy party had left.

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  17. Duxton (658 comments) says:

    I hear through the grapevine that Robertson wants to have another look at the regulations covering smoking in public places.

    Apparently he’s comfortable with the general thrust of the law, but wants minor changes to make it legal to suck on a fag in a gay bar.

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  18. JC (948 comments) says:

    DPF has listed 34 wild arse promises from the trio.. I make it 19 from Cunny, 18 from Robby and 6 from Jones.. ergo Jones is closest to a centre left position than the other two.

    JC

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  19. queenstfarmer (782 comments) says:

    @Black with a Vengeance, why have you upgraded your status to shit scared?

    Is it because the leadership candidates have not (yet) announced a policy to price-gouge the poor on their power prices? You know, like the last Labour Government did which you thought was just wonderful?

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  20. Tom Jackson (2,553 comments) says:

    If you don’t love pork, you’re obviously all Muslims.

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  21. PaulL (5,446 comments) says:

    @Tom: congratulations. 1000.

    Is pork a euphemism? In which case, probably many Christians are against a good porking as well.

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  22. davidp (3,585 comments) says:

    >Possibly buy back SOEs

    Are we talking about the Tourist Hotel Corporation, VTNZ, and Government Computing Services here? Because I don’t know how we’ve managed without the government running motels, testing vehicles, and running mainframe computers.

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  23. bhudson (4,741 comments) says:

    @davidp,

    Don’t forget Telecom – we sold off this high performing gem of govt organizations and so it’s no wonder UFB is costing more in Chch and contractors are being laid off

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  24. PaulL (5,446 comments) says:

    NZPost. I want that back. Nothing like owning a big slice of a dying business.

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  25. bhudson (4,741 comments) says:

    @PaulL,

    You got your wish – it was such a stellar performer we could never bear to sell it off, it would seem

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  26. Pauleastbay (5,035 comments) says:

    yellow pages – theres a winner, just ask its present owner

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  27. Sir Cullen's Sidekick (899 comments) says:

    Urban Redneck (198) Says:
    September 9th, 2013 at 4:23 pm

    The last sensible utterance I heard Gareth Morgan say was on TV3 prior to the 2005 election, and it was:

    “Labour have an open cheque book”

    Bro – Labour did win 2005 election on the back of interest free student loans bribe.

    OK National supporters – I think Labour has bought 2014 election with all these promises. The minimum wage of $15 and living wage of $18.40 is enough to wake up all South Auckland bros to come and vote for Labour. John Key is toast in 2014. Watch the next opinion poll and Labour will be just 5 points adrift of National.

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  28. Tom Jackson (2,553 comments) says:

    @Tom: congratulations. 1000.

    lol didn’t notice.

    I’ve got thousands more under my trolling nom de guerre: “Redbaiter”. :)

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  29. Steve (North Shore) (4,536 comments) says:

    I see 2 prostitutes here, Jones is not one of them.
    So I can add for the other two.
    Silent T: Free blowjobs for all males (as long as they have paid their Union Fees)
    Robertson: Free blowjobs for all homosexual males (as long as they vote for me)

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  30. Harriet (5,200 comments) says:

    ‘No’ is said just twice – but there is 60 blank spaces – why arn’t they filled with ‘No’?

    I think they’ll be opening butcher’s shops anytime soon! :cool:

    BTW – up until 1981 – the QLD government did just that – they owned butchers shops!

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  31. davidp (3,585 comments) says:

    PEB>yellow pages – theres a winner, just ask its present owner

    Are we going to have to buy Orcon, the BNZ, Ministry of Works, and the Government Printing Office? Will Peter Jackson sell us back the National Film Unit, or will we have to nationalise it? Because it’ll be pretty odd if the Avatar sequel or some Hobbit films are produced by a government department.

    The promise to scrap the Kapiti Expressway is also strange, since they’re building it now and it’ll be mostly finished by the next election. Maybe “scrap” means that they’re going to take the completed road and demolish it?

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  32. Steve (North Shore) (4,536 comments) says:

    Harriet,
    These guys just can’t say ‘NO’ they are cork soakers, they will sell your mother for a vote

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  33. Michael (913 comments) says:

    Robertson can now have full employment – you create a new student allowance equal to the dole, and enrol every unemployed person in one tertiary course, even if it is basic literacy – and viola, zero unemployment!

    Would cost a lot…

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  34. Pauleastbay (5,035 comments) says:

    I have two main fantasies in my life one has Kate Moss in it, the other is that some 20 year old bimbo impersonating a member of the fourth estate will ask one of these three wankers.

    “Silent T, Tugger, Tubby – can you give us some costings, it’s not an unreasonable question seeing as any middle management slave has to supply costings for minor projects in business and you three plan on giving everyone a house and a job and buying everything in the whole world”

    If I hear that in the next week or so that’ll be me pole vaulting down Queen Street.

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  35. expat (4,050 comments) says:

    Steve nth shore, you seem to have a thing for man on man blow jobs, is it because you is fundie?

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  36. SPC (5,664 comments) says:

    Where is the promise to increase parental leave to 26 weeks?

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  37. Steve (North Shore) (4,536 comments) says:

    expat,
    Hello Grant, what is a fundie?
    Oh you mean one of those devil dodgers? nah man, just a bit straighter than most

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  38. expat (4,050 comments) says:

    Grant?

    So you are straight and a man on man bj fanticist, uhuh.

    Fundie much

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  39. Steve (North Shore) (4,536 comments) says:

    Paul,
    Go with Kate Moss, any 20 year old bimbo has no idea what 4th Estate means – possibly means one estate either side of the 3rd or 5th

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  40. peterwn (3,333 comments) says:

    davidp – By National Film Unit, you mean the film developing and printing plant. Peter Jackson purchased it to stop it being sold overseas – he needed it for his productions. It is now obsolete for movie making as the process is all digital from camera to projector Peter produced the world’s first digital movie clip with a prototype camera. The Government via National Film Archives has purchased it back again probably at little more than scrap value for copying old films of historic value.

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  41. SPC (5,664 comments) says:

    It is Labour policy to have parental leave for 12 months – but to move to 6 months initially and increase it to 12 months over time.

    Thus it should be in the list of policies all 3 aspiring leaders would intend to finance.

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  42. Colville (2,318 comments) says:

    Subsidies for tree planting promised by Cunners?
    Any one have details?

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  43. Fisiani (1,052 comments) says:

    Robertson has accused the NZ Transfusion Service of bigotry to homosexuals for refusing blood donations from people with a high risk of carrying HIV. Does that count as pork or porkies?

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  44. you reap what you sow (41 comments) says:

    This whole episode is a Gold for the Greens and Winston. Is this the best that Labour has? A talentless pornographer, a glib puffball and a graduate of toastmasters and Drama school.

    Labour needs to do better.

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  45. davidp (3,585 comments) says:

    peterwn>davidp – By National Film Unit, you mean the film developing and printing plant.

    The Unit wasn’t just a machine. There were buildings (now Jackson’s Park Road facility?) and staff. These were publicly owned assets that were flogged off to Jackson, who used them to make films such as Lord of the Rings. If the government had made Lord of the Rings, then the profits from that film would have flowed in to the public coffers. We’d all be rich. Also the cast could have included Robyn Malcolm and a bunch of other actors well connected to Labour and the Greens, rather than a lot of foreigners like Elijah Wood and Orlando Bloom. Letting Jackson use these public assets to employ foreigners is tantamount to selling those assets to foreigners. We need to stop providing a job to Elijah Wood, and we certainly don’t want him to buy a house here. Assuming he wanted to, of course.

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  46. lolitasbrother (774 comments) says:

    spew in the gutter, Cunliffe, dog lie down

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  47. lolitasbrother (774 comments) says:

    NZ Nat party policy . win 2014,and as well
    2017

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  48. Fisiani (1,052 comments) says:

    Cunliffe has offered millions to Pike River families on TVNZ

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  49. Ian McK (237 comments) says:

    Jones still wants 1-minute showers, hope they are cold to sate his perverted desire of filthy DVDs.

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  50. expat (4,050 comments) says:

    Only old pervs refer to DVD’s Ian. Everyone else downloads.

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  51. Ian McK (237 comments) says:

    expat: Wearing flax skirts, I would not think Jones could even log into a computer.

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  52. OneTrack (3,350 comments) says:

    Spc – “Thus it should be in the list of policies all 3 aspiring leaders would intend to finance.”

    What is this vampire economics concept called “finance”? Don’t need to think about such bizarre things such as “finance” or “paying or things” when you are trying to get the people who believe in Santa Claus (Labour voters, Green voters and most National voters) to give you the job of your dreams ie big bucks (one of the 1%?) and you get to swan around for 15 months just promising more stuff. And we have a friend? with a printer and he will russel up some more readies if/when we need it. High five.

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  53. David Garrett (7,698 comments) says:

    I have come late to this discussion…real life intervening and all that.

    The policy that had me guffawing the loudest was “higher pay for taxi drivers”…Unlike anyone in the Labour caucus – so far as I know – I have BEEN a taxi driver…both in partnership with someone else 30 years ago, and as a part time casual when I was a student a few years later.

    There are only TWO ways to increase taxi drivers’ pay: 1) Increase fares, and pass that increase on to the driver…so that one impacts on everyone who uses cabs..2) increase the percentage split between owners and operators…If you do that, many owners just won’t see the value in employing a driver to cover the time they don’t want to, or can’t, drive the car…thus doing the driver(s) of that car out of a job.

    If anyone knows a way of increasing taxi drivers’ wages by anything other than either of the above, I would love to hear it.

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  54. Rich Prick (1,750 comments) says:

    These guys make Winston look measured and reasonable. He only got the Gold Card, a bargain by comparision.

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  55. MPH (18 comments) says:

    “DPF: Actually very few of these are established Labour Party policy”. Nonsense. 15 are established policy (either in the 2011 manifesto or announced since 2011), 7 are “new”, and 9 are not really policies at all but statements of principle.

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  56. Fritz (3 comments) says:

    You can add another line now DPF. In Christchurch last night Robertson proposed rent stabilisation controls there for three or four years (1 min in here http://www.radionz.co.nz/audio/player/2568869). So as well as determining the price of our power he is now considering legislating how much landlords can charge for their rentals. I would have thought that a good return on your investment would encourage you to build more rentals there? But he wants the gummint to build them instead.

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  57. dishy (248 comments) says:

    Respect for Fritz – good post for a virgin.

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