Trevett’s Labour Leadership Awards

September 12th, 2013 at 11:00 am by David Farrar

Some amusing awards from Claire Trevett:

The Artful Dodger award for picking pockets: 
David Cunliffe. Grant Robertson announced the living wage – five minutes later Cunliffe did too. Shane Jones announced Pasifika TV – five minutes later Cunliffe did too. Robertson made a joke about boy bands. It was Cunliffe’s by the next day. Shane Jones announced regional development measures including a rail link to Marsden Pt. The next day, Cunliffe announced a package suspiciously similar.

Is there any pledge DC hasn’t matched?

The John Banks award for greatest transmogrification: 
David Cunliffe for his leap from the business-friendly face of Labour to waving a bunch of “socialist red” roses around and singing paeans from the Workers’ Songbook.

John Wayne award for straight shooting: 
Grant Robertson for bluntly pointing out Shane Jones could not win, however successful he was in the polls. Shane Jones for saying of the Greens: “I am going to harvest and find my votes in Middle Earth – not flat earth. …

Merry Wives of Windsor award for playing hard to get: 
Andrew Little, Raymond Huo, David Parker. Each camp has tried to claim them, but they have continued to refuse to say whom they are backing.

Woody Allen Zelig award for best human chameleon: 
David Cunliffe. In 2011, he morphed into a character from bro’Town to fit into the audience at the flea markets. The sequel came at the Whangarei hustings meeting when he tried out his Maori styles, complete with the use of “eh” to end sentences.

Joni Mitchell award for best rendition of Both Sides Now: 
Su’a William Sio for signing Shane Jones’ nomination form, but supporting David Cunliffe.

Son of a Preacher Man award for best evangelical performance: 
David Cunliffe, who is the son of a preacher man, for his campaign launch and his vibrato a la Martin Luther King “this little town” soliloquy at Blackball. In fact, for his entire campaign.

I understand Martin Luther Cunliffe is now the term used by his opponents to deride him!

Where’s Wally? pantomime award: 
Robertson, for telling Seven Sharp his partner Alf was too busy to be at the pub for the interview just before the camera caught Alf at another table. He’s behind you, Grant!

I suspect that episode may come back to haunt Grant, unless he is claiming that Alf was there without his knowledge!

Shane Jones award for out Jones-ing Jonesy: 
Patrick Gower, 3News: “It’s gonna be Cunliffe’s butchery in the caucus room next Tuesday if he gets the job.”

The blood bath may not be immediate, but could be awesome.

Hellers’ award for biggest pork barrel: 
All three.

Which makes taxpayers the loser no matter who wins!

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33 Responses to “Trevett’s Labour Leadership Awards”

  1. PaulL (5,776 comments) says:

    Hmm. Claire’s not biased then? Interesting that most awards paint Cunliffe in a negative light, although arguably that also reflects reality.

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  2. YesWeDid (1,003 comments) says:

    The Labour leadership campaign has been a huge disappointment to political journalists and right wing bloggers.

    Rather than a Labour party tearing itself apart the leadership process has reinvigorated the party faithful and offered three candidates who have been articulate and good humoured.

    The publicity generated over the last few weeks will give whoever wins on Sunday a massive boost.

    National strategists must be hating every minute of it.

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  3. Ian McK (237 comments) says:

    Robertson is a typical homosexual, they are as deceitful as lesbians, and possible as vile and dangerous.

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  4. PaulL (5,776 comments) says:

    @YesWeDid: Agree completely. In fact, it’s been so successful that I think Labour should do things of this nature on a quarterly basis to remind all NZers exactly what sort of policies a successful Labour government would expect to implement. I think it’s going over a treat with voters, and it’s important to connect the things that motivate the base/party faithful to the things that the general public see the party as standing for.

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  5. PaulL (5,776 comments) says:

    @Ian McK: you are so far over the line that I’m not sure you can see the line from where you’re standing. Do you really believe the crap that you spout? Try replacing the word “homosexual” with any other group of individuals you might like, and read your sentence again. And think a little bit about why most people in the modern age think it wrong to stereotype people based on their membership of a group.

    (this message brought to you by my belief that tolerating stupidity and prejudice allows it to continue unchallenged)

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  6. radvad (620 comments) says:

    PaulL
    What is your explanation for Robertson’s statement? Was he mistaken or did he lie? If it is the latter why did he lie? Could it mean that deep down he is not comfortable with his sexuality? Again I ask, why?

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  7. greenjacket (347 comments) says:

    @YesWeDid. Damn – you rumbled us. Behind closed doors us National supporters have been hating every minute of this public Labour leadership battle. If Labour did this more often we’d be really really worried.

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  8. Pete George (21,826 comments) says:

    Soon the new leader will be Whipping caucus into shape.

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  9. PaulL (5,776 comments) says:

    @radvad: I don’t really need an explanation. At the risk of parodying myself, he’s a politician, they all lie? More likely the various people who tell him that his sexuality is an issue have him running scared, so he did the wrong thing when placed on the spot because he didn’t want pictures of his partner to be the lead story on the news that night. And then they were anyway. I suspect he wishes he hadn’t done it.

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  10. Alan (915 comments) says:

    In abstract political terms, of course this process has been good for Labour.

    It’s reconnected the mps to the members who now feel they have some skin in the game; it’s put them on Tv and in magazines. No publicity is bad publicity. The right wing may hate them, but they hated them before this started, no change.

    Turnout is going to decide the election, a raised profile for labour helps them.

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  11. thedavincimode (6,130 comments) says:

    radvad

    Maybe you should a remedial course in venn diagrams 101.

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  12. jaba (2,069 comments) says:

    to an extent, @yeswedid is correct .. I understand membership is up (therefore cash) and “their people” have been given an opportunity to engage with the MPS especially the 3 BEST they have aspiring to be leader. I fully understand that BUT:
    1/ if those 3 are the best they have then Labour is doomed. The No1 contender is hated by about 50% of his colleagues and has an ego that will destroy his political ambitions .. can’t help himself. The no2 contender is a proffesional polititian who has has had every dollar paid/spent on him by that taxpayer .. and is gay (sorry but that will be an issue) and no3 is too “interesting” to be PM. When I see him on telly, the 1st thing he does when appraoched by a female is to look at her tits .. check it out one day.
    2/ the factions .. you need a Clark/H2 combo to squeeze the life out of the crazy ones and keep them in-line. Cunliffe could try that but???

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  13. BeeJay (65 comments) says:

    I think that on reflection the Labour Party must be wishing that they had never changed the process for choosing the parliamentary leader. They have effectively and publicly exposed how truly weak they are as a political force. Many loyal party members must be cringing by now at the very poor quality of the potential leaders that they have. They will by now be asking themselves – “is this it?” I’m afraid it is, people. Whoever wins selection, D, G or S, will be responsible (and held accountable) for at least another 4 years in limbo, holding hands with their Green Australian mate and his group of looneys!

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  14. Ross12 (930 comments) says:

    YesWeDid

    All this exercise has shown is that Labour is devoid of real leadership talent.

    I said at the start ( after a couple of days of the circus) that Shane Jones had an opportunity to do well if not win the contest by sticking to broad political issues , explain what was required from a leadership point of view and not get involved in the pork barrel politics that the other two were playing. But Jones couldn’t help himself and tried playing the man ( with his comments about Key ) instead of sticking to intelligent debate.
    All three have failed.

    Alan
    There are “exceptions to every rule”. In this case I don’t think the publicity has helped Labour, especially when you consider how much the MSM ( even the well known left leaning parts of it) have been laughing at the circus.

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  15. Alan (915 comments) says:

    “When I see him on telly, the 1st thing he does when appraoched by a female is to look at her tits .. check it out one day.”

    Is that a problem? I do that as well, most guys do. Frankly I’m a bit suspicious of people that don’t.

    “There are “exceptions to every rule”. In this case I don’t think the publicity has helped Labour, especially when you consider how much the MSM ( even the well known left leaning parts of it) have been laughing at the circus.”

    I think the media coverage has actually been pretty soft; Shane Jones was in Womans Day after all.

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  16. thedavincimode (6,130 comments) says:

    No publicity is bad publicity.

    Alan, not sure I agree with you there. A central pillar of labour tactics has been to paint Key as a slimeball who can’t be trusted. They have been unrelenting in that respect. They are now in a very public process to select a new leader. If there was any doubt before, there can be none now: that new leader will be a slime-ball who can’t be trusted. They should have tried a while longer to try and keep that in the bag.

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  17. thedavincimode (6,130 comments) says:

    edit

    I should have added that the info was already out there going back a number of years for most to draw the conclusion about slimey, sleazey and pornsey, but all this campaign has done is focus attention on their deficiencies and remind people that nothing has changed and that in this respect, there is really nothing to choose between them.

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  18. Rich Prick (1,323 comments) says:

    Sorry YesWeDid, all it did was lay bare the extent to which Labour has covered off almost every personality disorder with its leader candidates. And the party must have cringed watching the pork fly.

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  19. Chuck Bird (4,415 comments) says:

    @PaulL

    @Ian McK: you are so far over the line that I’m not sure you can see the line from where you’re standing. Do you really believe the crap that you spout? Try replacing the word “homosexual” with any other group of individuals you might like, and read your sentence again. And think a little bit about why most people in the modern age think it wrong to stereotype people based on their membership of a group.

    (this message brought to you by my belief that tolerating stupidity and prejudice allows it to continue unchallenged)

    So Paul you think it is always wrong to stereotype people based on their behaviour?

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  20. ross69 (3,645 comments) says:

    If only Labour had the talent that National has…I give you Judith Collins as a shining example. LMAO

    When John Key decides to pull the plug, or has the plug pulled for him, the Tories will be very nervous at the thought of a defunct tax lawyer (Collins) or Bill English – who failed spectacularly as leader in a previous life – leading the party.

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  21. double d (219 comments) says:

    haha too bloody funny.
    I see this as a win win campaign.
    If Cunners wins, Labour will lose votes so fast (after an initial bump up as you would expect) as his MLC personality starts to shine through. His intellectual superiority complex, his arrogance, his theatrical nonsense (watch how he drops his ….chin …. when questioned on camera and also drops his voice to give off the practiced gravitas (hours in front of the mirror practicing and even more hours admiring himself)).
    If Robertson wins, Labour will also shed votes as the Waitakere man can just not identify with the kind of person he is. Michie was right, rightly or wrongly, NZ is not yet ready for a gay PM and the swing voters will not go with Labour when they have a safe set of hands at the tiller in JK.
    Happy days.

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  22. PaulL (5,776 comments) says:

    @Chuck: no, I don’t. Have you stopped beating your wife yet? (It’s known as a loaded question. Wikipedia has some things to say about it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loaded_question. It’s considered to be a logical fallacy)

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  23. Chuck Bird (4,415 comments) says:

    Okay Paul, I take it you are saying or implying individuals that everyone or nearly is born either heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual?

    If so, that is very much like a loaded question.

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  24. Tom Jackson (2,261 comments) says:

    Robertson is a typical homosexual, they are as deceitful as lesbians, and possible as vile and dangerous.

    You are Ross from Friends and I claim my prize!

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  25. Ian McK (237 comments) says:

    Chuck Bird: These deviants being mentioned are not born this way, it is a filthy way of life they have chosen, and they know nothing other than depravity.

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  26. Tom Jackson (2,261 comments) says:

    These deviants being mentioned are not born this way, it is a filthy way of life they have chosen, and they know nothing other than depravity.

    I know. I hate Amway too.

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  27. Chuck Bird (4,415 comments) says:

    @Ian McK

    My view is that like most human behaviour is a combination of genetics and environment. A person may be born with a predisposition to be an alcoholic. They have a choice to drink or not drink. However, they do not have a choice to drink socially.

    I do not lose sleep over what they do in private but I have a problem with the amount of influence such a small but vocal group has.

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  28. PaulL (5,776 comments) says:

    I believe that’s the accepted wisdom at present Chuck – born not made. I’m sure there are some people who are by choice – as one colleague of mine used to say about one of our mutual friends “he’s not really gay, he’s just not fussy and knows where he can get some most easily.” But I believe for most people they’re attracted to who they’re attracted to. I guess arguably the not fussy ones are bisexual.

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  29. PaulL (5,776 comments) says:

    @Ian McK: you’re still being offensive, and it’s still well beyond reasonable opinion. I don’t really even get what you’re saying, and it doesn’t stand up to any rational analysis.

    These deviants being mentioned are not born this way

    I believe the evidence is that many are in fact born gay.

    it is a filthy way of life

    This really makes no sense. Being a lesbian is not filthy that I can tell. I guess you could argue that homosexual sex is dirty if you’re not into a bit of anal, but I’m pretty sure they wash afterwards, and apparantly lots of straight people like a bit of anal from time to time too.

    they have chosen,

    See above, it’s not a choice

    and they know nothing other than depravity.

    Most gay people I know aren’t defined by their sexuality. They are normal people who happen to be gay. Like some people are redheads, or short, or lots of other things. I’m sure some of them are filthy and depraved, as are some straight people. But the reason we don’t stereotype is that if you picked a gay person at random, and compared them to a straight person at random, the fact that they’re gay would predict very little about the differences and similarities between those people (other than the obvious sexual preference – which isn’t a stereotype but a fact).

    In short, you’re wrong, you’re obviously wrong, and you’re apparently too stupid to know that you’re wrong. I’m surprised you can even operate a computer.

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  30. GPT1 (2,043 comments) says:

    I actually saw the Seven Sharp close up and at the end of the clip they were having a bit of a chit chat (I’d pretty much switched off by then) about how Robertson had introduced Alf later and they were just having some fun given they noticed on the play back that Alf was in the background buying a beer as Robertson said he wasn’t there. As I say I wasn’t listening overly closely but there may have been an explanation along the lines of he hadn’t expected Alf to be there – did anyone see the whole thing? I really can’t face going back and watching it.

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  31. Bob R (1,253 comments) says:

    ***Shane Jones announced Pasifika TV – five minutes later Cunliffe did too.***

    Presumably they will also be offering Pasifika council seats too? It seems the sad reailty of multiculturalism is that you need to have separate tv, separate seats etc?

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  32. OneTrack (1,977 comments) says:

    Ross69 @3:00

    Steven Joyce
    Judith Collins
    Bill English
    Simon Bridges
    Tony Ryall
    Amy Adams

    without even thinking about it. National are spoiled for choice. Labour have no choice. If The left win, Russell Norman will be the de-facto PM.

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  33. Ian McK (237 comments) says:

    Get it right, Alf popped into a dyke to puff on a fag, Robertson did not see his big red pull up at the venue awaiting his return, so did not realise he was on the premises. After puffing away on his fag, Alf left the dyke with gay abandon, sneaked down a back passage, entered his big red, and rode into the night with gay abandon. Don’t you think we are being hard on Robertson telling porkies!

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