Best opening sentences

November 23rd, 2013 at 12:00 pm by David Farrar

The Listener has their ten favourite opening sentences from news reports. They’re very good. They include:

  • Sweden’s Ice Hotel has been ordered by the National Housing Board to install fire alarms, despite being made completely out of frozen water.
  • Firefighters have warned of the dangers of driving into a petrol forecourt when your car is on fire.
  • Swino, the boozy feral pig that shot to international fame after drinking 18 cans of beer, starting a fight with a cow and causing chaos at an Australian campsite, has died in a car accident.
  • A gay man tried to poison his lesbian neighbours by putting slug pellets into their curry after he was accused of kidnapping their three-legged cat.
  • A German student created a major traffic jam in Bavaria after making a rude gesture at a group of Hell’s Angels motorcycle gang members, hurling a puppy at them and then escaping on a stolen bulldozer.

I think the last one is my favourite.

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5 Responses to “Best opening sentences”

  1. jcuk (668 comments) says:

    I agree :)

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  2. nickb (3,686 comments) says:

    These are fucking gold!

    My favourite is the first one, because its so believable. It could be the Auckland Council

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  3. wikiriwhis business (3,883 comments) says:

    Swino…what a pig haha

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  4. wikiriwhis business (3,883 comments) says:

    Those gays are angry units

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  5. Longknives (4,690 comments) says:

    “Boy trapped in refrigerator eats own foot”

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