Not realising it is satire

January 13th, 2014 at 10:00 am by David Farrar

Joshua Drummond wrote a satirical anti-immunisation column (he is very much pro) and the comments are quite hilarious to read as some people did not realise it was satire.

Some highlights:

Vaccination is a lie. 

Plenty of people have tried to tell me different. But I know better.

When I was a child, I got measles and mumps. I’d been vaccinated for both. Oh, sure, some small, logical part of my brain tried to tell me that I’d probably recovered much faster from these illnesses than I would have had I not been vaccinated. But that’s the thing with logic. You can’t trust it. Science is based on logic and look where that’s got us. Genetically engineered centipedechickens from KFC. But I digress. You can’t trust logic. It’s intuition you have to trust. I have intuition coming out my ears. My aura is indigo. My mind is wide, wide open. Information pours in. Splash! Just between us: I’m a bit of a genius. I’ve got a real knack for medical knowledge. The sheeple need someone to free them. And I’ve spend enough time reading medical-sounding articles on various natural health forums to know I can be that person.

I would have thought pretty obvious at this point.

I first realised this when I discovered the Internet had a great deal of information on vaccines that they don’t want you to know. Who’s “they,” you ask? I’ll tell you. It’s them. Your nurse. Your family doctor. The National party. The Labour party. (Possibly not the Conservative party.) The Medical-Industrial-complex. The Great Vaccination Conspiracists. Unscrupulous electricity companies who generate power from the brains of autistic children. It’s all possible. Except for vaccination. Vaccination simply doesn’t work. Ignore the decades of scientific evidence. It’s all fraudulent. It’s all a lie. 

Sounds like the anti-fluoridation brigade!

Vaccination was, supposedly, first performed by Edward Jenner in the 18th century and further developed by Louis Pasteur, who discovered cures for smallpox and rabies, respectively (although I personally find this about as likely as the idea that humans walked on the moon.) Some hail these men as heroes, and their work as saving the lives of millions. The truth is that these men are mass-murderers. Want to know who else used vaccines? The Nazis. They also used fluoride to keep their prisoners docile. I bet the Nazis even fluoridated their vaccines. The banality of evil. 

At this stage, anyone who hasn’t twigged is very gullible!

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22 Responses to “Not realising it is satire”

  1. Colville (1,780 comments) says:

    Unscrupulous electricity companies who generate power from the brains of autistic children.

    Kiwipower!! :-)

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  2. David Garrett (5,152 comments) says:

    Colville: No no, that’s no joke…you see autism is caused by the brain being flooded with information; all neurons firing at once…thus an autistic brain generates ten or twenty times the electricity of yours and mine (well mine anyway; I don’t know about yours)..Granted it is still a tiny amount from each one, but if you hook enough of them up …I’m not sure if they have to be in series of paralell for a meaningful amount of electricity to be generated…

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  3. cha (3,541 comments) says:

    Don’t show them this.

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  4. KiwiGreg (3,129 comments) says:

    Reads like some of the one-issue folks who post here.

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  5. Pete George (21,830 comments) says:

    KiwiGreg – that’s one of the first things that I recognised too. It sounds very familiar.

    Quite often here it’s hard to know if comments are serious or satire.

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  6. RRM (8,997 comments) says:

    Lame, bordering on silly, hard to believe people would bother having a fight in the comments over this.

    Needs more Dim-Post or Civilian…

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  7. Ryan Sproull (6,661 comments) says:

    KiwiGreg – that’s one of the first things that I recognised too. It sounds very familiar.

    Quite often here it’s hard to know if comments are serious or satire.

    An old friend of mine came up with something to describe that, Pete: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poe's_law

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  8. RRM (8,997 comments) says:

    I also like how defensive the author is in the comments :-)

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  9. wrightingright (132 comments) says:

    although I personally find this about as likely as the idea that humans walked on the moon

    lol, seems they have a lot of overlap with those who don’t believe in the moon landing.

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  10. redqueen (347 comments) says:

    When did we shut down all of the looney bins? Seriously, should people like this be considered ‘sane’, not as a matter of difference of opinion? These people seem batshit crazy, or they’re just being satirical themselves?

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  11. wrightingright (132 comments) says:

    David Garrett, I assume then everybody who was in The Matrix was autistic. As they’d have breed them for that to gain the extra electricity generation.

    As for putting the humans in series vs parallel, that depends on if you want to boost the amps or the voltage (probably you’d use a mix of both).

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  12. David Garrett (5,152 comments) says:

    wright: Thanks for that helpful comment…I never was much of a scientist…

    PG: Yes indeed…often difficult to tell with some commenters here..I have been taken seriously a number of times when I thought it was blindingly obvious I was taking the piss…

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  13. edhunter (435 comments) says:

    The Internet making people dumber since 1995.

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  14. ross69 (3,645 comments) says:

    Sounds like the anti-fluoridation brigade!

    Don’t be so pathetic. The majority of councils in NZ don’t allow water fluoridation. By DPF’s logic, these councils are part of a huge conspiracy.

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  15. Pete George (21,830 comments) says:

    Everyone pauses to consider the intent of ross69′s comment.

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  16. J Bloggs (100 comments) says:

    Yes indeed…often difficult to tell with some commenters here..I have been taken seriously a number of times when I thought it was blindingly obvious I was taking the piss…

    DG: Could be worse – it could be the other way around

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  17. southtop (257 comments) says:

    heh
    http://www.numberwatch.co.uk/zealots.htm

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  18. David Garrett (5,152 comments) says:

    bloggs: Quite so! Actually all joking aside…I find the discourse on here to be very informative….in my view the best forum in NZ…When you think you are pretty well informed, but learn something every time you are here, that says quite a lot…

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  19. RightNow (6,350 comments) says:

    “Everyone pauses to consider the intent of ross69′s comment.”

    He’s being doing a brilliant line of parody through his entire commenting career.

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  20. Lance (2,311 comments) says:

    @David Garrett

    Typically 10 watts electricity each brain. Not huge but quite efficient considering how much computing is going on.\

    I know 9 volts will damage neurons so I guess it’s all low voltage, higher current.

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  21. Colville (1,780 comments) says:

    We would get a lot more than 10 watts if we put DPF and LR & C on treadmills hooked to the national grid :-)

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  22. TimG_Oz (883 comments) says:

    Phew. Very glad it was satire. Very similar to the real nutters though

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