The secret diary of David Cunliffe

writes:

MONDAY

That’s why I’m announcing that a Labour government will give every new-born baby 60 hot meals of nutritious baked beans every week until they’re old enough to operate a can opener.

TUESDAY

I slightly misspoke yesterday. I meant to say new-born babies will receive 60 hot meals of nutritious baked beans every week until their parents are old enough to operate a can opener.

WEDNESDAY

I slightly miscalculated on Monday. I meant to say new-born babies will receive 60 nutritious baked beans every week, as in 60 individual beans, not 60 cans of beans.

THURSDAY

I slightly miscommunicated on Monday. I was absolutely frank and absolutely clear when I declared my love for Genesis.

But there’s a distinction between liking early Genesis, and liking mid-career Genesis, when Phil Collins’s presence became more apparent. You can’t like both. At no point have I ever said that you could like both.

FRIDAY

I slightly mispronounced on Monday. I meant to say that under a Labour government, new-born babies will receive exactly 60 nutritious baked beans every year.

Heh.

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