Joyce in fine form

July 24th, 2014 at 1:00 pm by David Farrar

was in fine form highlighting David Cunliffe’s apologies in Parliament yesterday. Some extracts:

In the this afternoon I think we should on this occasion start with apologies. I think we should start with apologies. I would like to lead off with a few apologies. * No. 1: I am sorry for being a man. Has that been done before? [Interruption] Oh, OK, I will try this one—I will try another one. I am sorry for having a holiday.

Hon Bill English: That’s been done before, too.

Hon STEVEN JOYCE: Oh, OK. I am sorry for wearing a red scarf. [Interruption] No. Oh, I know: I am sorry for having a moa resuscitation plan. That has got to be new—that has got to be new. [Interruption] No? Another one for you, Mr Speaker: I am sorry for having a secret trust. That would be—

Hon Bill English: No, that’s been done.

Hon STEVEN JOYCE: That has been done? I am sorry for not telling you about my secret trust, Mr Speaker. Has that been done? And, most of all, Mr Speaker, I am sorry you found about my secret trust. I have another one: I am sorry for being tricky. That has been done before? Well, we have seen a lot of apologies, but from now on I am going to be straight up. I am going to stick to the Labour knitting. That is what I am going to do, with the exception of this stuff. This train is leaving the station. It has left a few times before, but this time it is definitely leaving the station. This is my team. This is my team, except, to be fair, Shane Jones. He is not on the team any more, no. Dover Samuels—he is not on the team any more. Andrew Little—he is not really on the team any more. Damien O’Connor and Rino Tirikatene—they are not really on the team because they crossed the floor. But aside from Shane Jones, Dover Samuels, Andrew Little, Damien O’Connor, and Rino Tirikatene, this is my team.

Steven also highlights their regional growth policy:

And, of course, we now have the regional growth policy, which we share with the Greens. The regional growth policy—here it is. It is out today. One, put a capital gains tax on every productive business. Two, have a carbon tax at five times the current price. Three, introduce big levies for the use of fresh water. Four, restore a national awards system, which would force regional employers to pay what they pay in Auckland. Five, stop any more trade deals. Six, clamp down on the dairy industry. Seven, clamp down on the oil and gas industry. And then, the coup de grâce*, , when that has all been done and the regions have all fallen over, is to give them a $200 million slush fund to make them feel better. The Labour Party should apologise for that, as well.

He also highlights the comments by Stuart Nash:

I am not sure about Stuart Nash. I think he is on the team. He must be on the team because he said: “It wasn’t me.” He said in the * Hawke’s Bay Today that he denies the claim that he criticised Cunliffe, although, on the other hand, he also said this: “I must admit when I read it [the newspaper quoting the party source], apart from the swearing, it sounds a little bit like me.” “It sounded like me.”, Mr Nash said. And he said that he was not the source and that the comments could have come from “any of the 15,000 members who were out putting up hoardings in the rain or delivering pamphlets in the cold or this sort of carry-on”. So this is my team, except for Shane Jones, Dover Samuels, Andrew Little, Damien O’Connor, Rino Tirikatene, Annette King, Phil Goff, Clayton Cosgrove, Trevor Mallard, Grant Robertson, David Parker, Chris Hipkins, Kelvin Davis, Stuart Nash, and the 15,000 members of the Labour Party who would have said what I did not say in the newspaper. 

Almost too easy.

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32 Responses to “Joyce in fine form”

  1. Manolo (14,082 comments) says:

    It proves the point that Matt McCarten, Cunliffe’s campaign manager, is giving his boss crap advice.

    The comrade is doing his mate Laila Harre a big favour by discrediting the socialist leader even more week after week. A fine fifth-columnist, indeed.

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  2. NK (1,259 comments) says:

    Yeah, very good and all that. But what was the debate about? Or is it just more time wasted on laughing at other politicians? How much money did that cost yesterday – can the Taxpayers Union tell us?

    [DPF: It’s the General Debate, which is always a slagfest. 1 hour a week. I advocted to the Standing Orders review they be less often, and we have policy topic debaes every other week, but they did not agree]

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  3. Unity (611 comments) says:

    That is one thing that Joyce has in abundance – the gift of the gab. When being interviewed he just talks and talks and talks, over the top and every which way. He is the perfect PR man. However, on this occasion he was rather clever. Normally he annoys me intensely.

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  4. Ashley Schaeffer (513 comments) says:

    Like shooting fish in a barrel.

    Just don’t hold said fish up – as that’s been done before.

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  5. thor42 (971 comments) says:

    Great stuff! Ok, it was time spent laughing at Labour but I don’t regard it as being time *wasted.*
    The entertainment was priceless!

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  6. NK (1,259 comments) says:

    [DPF: It’s the General Debate, which is always a slagfest. 1 hour a week. I advocted to the Standing Orders review they be less often, and we have policy topic debaes every other week, but they did not agree]

    Thanks for taking the time out and explaining this, DPF. I thought they at least related to a policy or a bill being promoted. I agree with your submission.

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  7. ShawnLH (5,758 comments) says:

    Well I’m shocked. 6 responses and not one from Judith expressing righteous indignation at Joyce and wagging her finger of disapproval at the rest of us for enjoying him. ;)

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  8. Pete George (23,687 comments) says:

    The comrade is doing his mate Laila Harre a big favour

    How do you know they’re still mates?

    Check out what Paddy has to say, and particularly note the photo:
    http://www.3news.co.nz/Opinion-Why-is-Cunliffe-scared-of-Dotcom/tabid/1382/articleID/353992/Default.aspx

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  9. WineOh (630 comments) says:

    Joyce = Keys successor.
    Got the hard work ethic and the gift of the gab. I’d vote for him.

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  10. tvb (4,518 comments) says:

    A rollicking speach like this that pokes fun at the other side helps build party morale. The PM does them very well. It is more effective than being nasty which Muldoon did. Lange was good very good which included some choice phrase. It is a display of confidence.

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  11. Dexter (310 comments) says:

    And we actually pay them to carry on like this. They are like a group of giggling school boys trying not to be told off by the teacher.

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  12. OneTrack (3,237 comments) says:

    “Well I’m shocked. 6 responses and not one from Judith expressing righteous indignation at Joyce and wagging her finger of disapproval at the rest of us for enjoying him. ;)

    Must be already on the road to Wainui.

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  13. RF (1,454 comments) says:

    OneTrack 3.20pm.

    No she is out collecting more stomach acid to prepare for the next assault on KB. I saw the broom contrails in the sky.

    She has been on a roll and burning up a fair amount lately because of her leader in the red scarf.

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  14. Steve (North Shore) (4,592 comments) says:

    I’m sorry that this probably won’t make the News at six, but then again, the left are born without a sense of humour :)

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  15. Richard (82 comments) says:

    Steven Joyce dealt a crippling blow to my industry while asleep at the wheel. An awful minister of economic development, he picks and chooses who and what he want to develop. I have this dream that governments are duty bound to support widest spectrum of society possible. Not so, this one.

    Change the government, September 20.

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  16. duggledog (1,589 comments) says:

    Richard – I challenge you to name the industry you are involved in. If it is (or was) a lucrative proposition, I would find it very hard to believe Monsieur Joyce would knowingly deal it any kind of death sentence. Are you involved in the film industry in Auckland? Boat building?

    Having met Mr Joyce, I don’t think he is ideologically opposed to any wealth-creating enterprise, so long as it pays its own way. Unlike Labour / Greens V farmers. Watch Joyce’s speech today in the house – he beautifully lampoons Labour’s crap 200 million sop to the regions – which they can have only after Labour has f***ed the provinces first

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  17. ShawnLH (5,758 comments) says:

    “Change the government, September 20.”

    A: Not going to happen.

    B: Given your complaint it makes no sense, as a Labour/Green/IMP coalition will be far worse on selectively picking what it thinks are business “winners.”

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  18. Richard (82 comments) says:

    ShawnLH, what do you think of the Greens solar panels in schools policy released today? I like it because it puts renewable energy and the science of renewable energy front and centre in childrens’ lives.

    I’ll be voting that sort of policy in.

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  19. Richard (82 comments) says:

    duggledog, you appear to know which industries Steve Joyce has depth charged. I am indeed in the once flourishing film industry.

    The government has been lobbied hard over the last 2 years on this but stalled for 18 months, then finally relinquished after a quiet word from a hollywood exec, James Cameron. The National government were gun shy on matching support for the NZ film industry which all other competitor countries had shown. This, after the Hobbit debacle, which they deliberately mismanaged on the advice of another hollywood exec, Peter Jackson.

    They’ve upped the incentives because they realised they screwed up.

    Too late, Steven Joyce, industry on its knees.

    The current government refused point blank to look at the wider benefits to the economy that this industry brings. This is indicative of the picking and choosing and data manipulation which has become a hallmark of the 5th National government.

    Change the government, September 20.

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  20. NK (1,259 comments) says:

    Richard, I’m in the film industry too. In fact I have contributed to it for many years through taxes. But enough is enough. Stop bludging off me and earn your way like I have to. You’ll find being unleashed is empowering.

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  21. Richard (82 comments) says:

    That makes no sense NK. Get back to me when you can make a coherent point.

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  22. duggledog (1,589 comments) says:

    Richard

    Govt will not change on Sept 20. I’m in a business area that is currently struggling and have had to A: adjust and B: see what was coming early enough to make those adaptations. Are you up to your arse in debt? Lighting technician? Camera? Lots of gear? Whatever mate I feel for you, hope you can survive.

    My father was a farmer. I daresay the 4th Labour govt f***ed him harder than you are being currently, he had to go with it and just survive. His advice to me in later years was, ‘live in the world you’re in and make the best of it’ and ‘pay no attention to what politicians say, pay attention to what they do’.

    Good luck

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  23. lolitasbrother (751 comments) says:

    A nice piece in the Bangkok Post yesterday; impending upgrade and Free Trade agreement with NZ and Thailand.
    A result of PM Key coming here last year , they love our apples and Kiwi Fruit, and Ice cream, we have to say good bye to Fletcher dominance in building :

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  24. lolitasbrother (751 comments) says:

    good going duggledog,above, our fundamental industry and agriculture will survive thanks to a solid Government.
    There will be no shagging around its a NZ Government 55% this year.

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  25. Richard (82 comments) says:

    Awesome, Lolita. New Zealand will end up a narrow, cultural desert. The focus on primary industries might look rosy right now but broader thinking must be applied if future generations are to be able to call NZ a great place to live. It’s not happening right now.

    Change the government, September 20.

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  26. Alan Wilkinson (1,901 comments) says:

    @Richard, if you think the Left are going to subsidise Hollywood you are truly in fantasy land. After the howls of rage and invective they threw at Peter Jackson and the tax they need to collect to pay their electoral bribes?

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  27. Richard (82 comments) says:

    Hi Alan.

    I’m certain a Labour led government would have dealt with that situation better and not allowed a flourishing, promotional industry to die on the vine like Steven Joyce has. Peter Jackson is party to the destruction of the NZ film industry as a whole. He’s like the government, only looking out for himself.

    As for electoral bribes, I get you: When National, it’s policy and when Labour, it’s bribes.

    Typical.

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  28. itstricky (1,904 comments) says:

    Next post: Gerry Brownlee in fine form….

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  29. Alan Wilkinson (1,901 comments) says:

    @Richard, I see you are deep in ideological fantasy land. Good luck with your painful collision with reality. It seems that has a long way to run yet. I hope you survive it.

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  30. Richard (82 comments) says:

    Hi Alan. It’s you who has rolled over and let conservative ideology tickle you on the tummy like an old and senile Labrador. I can’t help you, except to say:

    Change the government, September 20.

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  31. Alan Wilkinson (1,901 comments) says:

    You certainly can’t help me, Richard. Better focus on helping yourself and getting older and wiser. I don’t think the government will change on Sept 20 but if it does we are in for a comic tragedy as the biggest bunch of misconceptions in history get put in charge of a country. I doubt you would be laughing for long.

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  32. Jim (398 comments) says:

    Richard “I am indeed in the once flourishing film industry.”

    Unless you make WINZ commercials I would not count on a change of government being good for you.

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