Sex contracts
Labour’s new policy is that if you have sex with someone, you need to prove there was consent, otherwise you are guilty of rape.
In anticipation no doubt of such insanity becoming law if Labour wins, there is a site which offers contracts that you can get your partner to sign prior to sex. There’s one for women and men.
It’s very detailed, so you have an absolute defence in court, as to what has and has not been consented to. The kissing section is:
Consent yes/no to:
- closed mouth kissing
- open-mouthed kissing with lips
- open-mouthed kissing with tongue
- light biting/nibbling
- heavy biting/nibbling
- kissed on the face and neck
It usefully also includes a check box saying that you will not hold the kisser responsible for hickeys 🙂
The other sections are somewhat more explicit, so I won’t repeat them here. Highly amused though by being able to specify a maximum number of fingers 🙂
If Labour’s don’t ditch their insane policy, I’m thinking the Young Nationals could print out these sex contracts, with a Labour Party logo, and distribute them around bars and nightclubs so people understand that if Labour get elected, you need to prove you are not a rapist if you have sex with someone.