Blair’s predictions

Some very funny predictions for 2016 from . They include:

January

UN officials condemn conditions at Nauru’s detention centre as “bleak, hostile and frightening” with many asylum seekers in a state of “suicidal desperation”. It later emerges that the officials had mistakenly visited Adelaide.

April

Angela Merkel’s widely-anticipated speech on Islamic refugees and multicultural harmony is delayed when she cannot find a male relative who will give permission for the German chancellor to leave her house.

July

Media outrage in the US following Donald Trump’s blackface appearance during the first presidential debate. “Lordy, Lordy, Lordy!” hollers white-gloved, hand-waving Trump as opponent Hillary Clinton attempts to discuss healthcare reform. The Republican candidate immediately soars to a 60-40 poll lead.

August

“In hindsight, it probably wasn’t the best form of words,” admits Greens leader Richard Di Natale, who saw his party achieve only two per cent of the election vote under the slogan: “Vote Greens or Die in the Infernal Hellscape of Climate Change Denialism, You Stupid Bastards.”

The July prediction might just come true.

 

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