Archive for the ‘Humour’ Category
I’ve been rather tied up by ‘real life’ to read any of the goings on here at Kiwiblog over the last week let alone post but here are couple of cartoons that tickled my funny bone.
The first relates to the US State Department spokesperson Marie Harf saying that one issue with the ISIS terrorists is that they’re unemployed. They do have a job, it is killing anyone who doesn’t agree with their fanatical ideology.
© Michael Ramirez: found at Real Clear Politics
The second cartoon is about Vice President Joe Biden getting over friendly with the new US Secretary of Defence Ashton Carter’s wife at an event in Washington DC last week. Whatever his motivations this did have a bad look.
© Gary Varvel: found at Real Clear PoliticsTags: cartoons, US politics
This week’s Steve Braunias is rather good. An extract:
Just as I sit down for breakfast the phone rings and it’s Sky CEO Nigel Morrison demanding I come over right now and go through new costings for the convention centre or the whole deal is off. No problem. I grab toast, sausages, tomatoes, hash browns and a lamb chop to go, and scamper across town.
He presents the figures and draws up an architectural plan and says that without government funding the conventional centre will be minus windows, light bulbs and women’s toilets on the third floor.
I tell him if you carry the two and divide by six and move that column over to the left and this column over to the right and shake it all about then it’s entirely possible to make an allowance for three windows and five light bulbs on the second floor.
“Tell you what, sport,” he says. “Gizzus that toast in your pocket and we’ll throw it in the women’s toilets on the sixth floor.”
I weigh up the toast and figure I can always get my hands on some more down the line so I narrow my eyes and say to him, “Deal.”
It’s only when I get back to the office that I remember the convention centre doesn’t have a sixth floor.
Tags: Steve Braunias, Steven Joyce
Just as I sit down to microwave yesterday’s breakfast the phone rings and it’s my mole in the America’s Cup syndicate saying that Dean Barker is in for the chop and without him any chance of winning the next series is lost. No worries. I grab sausages, tomatoes, hash browns, and a lamb chop to go, and head for the waterfront.
I figure that if I delegate one or two minor responsibilities to the Prime Minister then I’ll be able to find the time to helm the black boat to victory, but first I just need a bit of practice.
First image is of David Bain in today’s NZ Herald, trying to make the case he didn’t kill his family.
I thought it would be hard for him to find a worse jersey than the one he was arrested in, but this one manages it!
Tags: David Bain
Whilst the standing down of Brian Williams from NBC continues to tickle the funny bone of the US cartoonists I’ve chosen one cartoon about Obama’s Iraq policy and the other about Jeb Bush.
The first is by Michael Ramirez and highlights an issue with Obama’s foreign policy and the lack of properly defined endgame. The word overcautious comes to mind.
© Michael Ramirez: found at Real Clear Politics
The other cartoon by Andy Marlette makes fun of Jeb Bush’s strategy of seemingly trying to win the GOP presidential nomination by hoovering up the big $’s early on from the key GOP donors. He hasn’t as yet convinced me that his policy ideas are winners. He is a winner in the piling up the campaign funds contest though.
© Andy Marlette: Found at Real Clear PoliticsTags: cartoons, US politics
Enter your captions below. As always, funny not nasty. Especially this timeTags: caption contest
Plenty of topics for the US cartoonists to choose from, anything from the US debt, to ISIS, the measles and Brian Williams!
The first cartoon I’ve selected is about the massive US debt and Obama’s attitude towards it.
© Gary Varvel: Found at Real Clear Politics
The other cartoon is for all the Cheney haters out there! It compares Brian Williams to Dick Cheney re Iraq. I’m not a Cheney hater but I can still see the funny side of this one.
© Nick Anderson: Found at Real Clear PoliticsTags: cartoons, US politics
A hilarious thread on Reddit when someone asked on Reddit “Are there a lot of spiders in NZ, compared to the US?”
The most popular and hence top answer was:
There are quite a few but during the summer months when they’re breeding you’re allowed to catch the adults if they’re more than 12cm (five inches) wide.
In my experience it’s best to warn tourists before they eat a dish with them in it because some people can be fussy when it comes to what they’re used to eating. TBH it’s mainly older people who have them, younger people would rather have McDonalds or something.
This then led to scores of further comments, all keeping the theme going.
You got the recipe for Katipo fritters? I remember we used to have them down at the batch. Nana and grandad would turn up in the Morris with a chillybin full and we’d fry them up on the beach with kea eggs and sheep’s milk. Never found the recipe.
Damn things are endangered now. The Katipo, not the sheep.
To that end, it is common for New Zealanders to travel out to the beaches and forests of New Zealand during summer (peak breeding season) to help keep numbers down, walking through the bush and fossicking through the dunes in an effort to help out our native populations by thinning numbers of non-indigenous spiders while getting a really good feed.
I don’t think I’m out of line in saying it is many New Zealander’s most treasured part of our national day, Waitangi Day, which commemorates Maori and the Crown reaching agreement on the management of our spider population, and then sitting down to a shared meal of roasted spiders, a tradition that lives on to this day.
With Waitangi day being tomorrow (Feb 6th) I’m really looking forward to my family’s traditional spider cook-up! This year we are trying a variant of pavlova that utilises spider eggs! Yum!
And quite cleverly:
It’s a bloody outrage they reduced the size limit to 12cm IMO. Back when I was a kid, you used to be able to find heaps that were over 20cm! We sold them to the local fish and chip shop, they made fritters out of them. After all the lobbying to reduce the size limits, the proper sized ones are so much rarer. I think the commercial companies have just over foraged, and we might see a real reduction in our stocks in time. That said, I can’t see it happening in the next decade or so.
This is why I voted National. They were the only party to promise to completely revise the Arachnid Harvesting Act so that every day New Zealanders can enjoy an eight-legged feed like the old days. Spiders and snapper were the most important election issues last year imho.
But remember when Simon Bridges opened up the Spider Sanctuary to oil drilling? An oil spill would be catastrophic for our spider-based economy.
Best of all:
New Zealand actually has the most spiders per capita (SPCA it’s called in official documentation). We signed a treaty with them to give them the sovereign nation of Hamilton. …
Shortly thereafter, they died of chlamydia. …
Not ALL of them died. A lot moved to Gore.
Read the whole thread and enjoy.Tags: reddit, spiders
There was a wide variety of topics to keep the cartoonists busy this week. The Obama administration and Mitt Romney have been selected this week.
The first by Michael Ramirez mocks the Obama administration’s bad habit of falling over their words in regards to who is a terrorist and who isn’t.
© Michael Ramirez: found at Real Clear Politics.
Mitt Romney and on-again off-again 2016 presidential campaign. ‘Deflategate’ refers to the New England Patriots NFL ball tampering scandal by Steve Benson.
© Steve Benson: found at Real Clear Politics.
Once it dawned on Romney the financial backing and grass roots support wasn’t there from inside the GOP he wisely decided to give it away.Tags: cartoons, US politics
Most of the cartoons from the US have been about the New England Patriots and the “deflate-gate scandal” or Obama’s state of the union (SOTU) speech. This weeks cartoon is about the latter.
The illusion to the President as Robin Hood refers to his idea of taxing the rich to give to the middle class. It was amusing to observe John Boehner sitting through most of the speech with look of a man who thought he was being fed rotten fish and was trying to hide the fact.
© Gary Varvel: Found at Real Clear Politics
Sadly the SOTU has become a spectacle that is nothing more than a campaign stop for the White House incumbent. It has been like this for a number of years. The Economist has an op-ed on the SOTU and reminds readers that in an earlier time for example under Nixon the speech was an effective way for the President to attempt to advance policy goals and start an intelligent policy debate on issues of the day.
For a bit of context, it is useful to revisit the reception of old state of the union addresses. I’ve been watching and reading a few by Richard Nixon who, as a Republican president from 1969 to 1974, faced some similar hurdles: an endless and dispiriting war; a mysterious and haunting foreign foe; a sluggish economy; a Congress dominated by the opposing party. Interestingly, Nixon’s speeches promoted some similar priorities.
The result was progress.
But in fact many of his ideas became policy, even with Democrats controlling the House and Senate. The new Congress that had just been sworn in that January 1971 could have found it useful to make Nixon look like a failure, with a presidential election ostensibly lurking around the corner (though two years back then were far longer in politics than they are now). But in fact they passed a lot of landmark legislation that continues to benefit Americans today.
The article ends with these words.
One can’t help but feel wistful for an era when a president’s ideas might’ve been debated on their merits, and when lawmakers took their job of making law seriously. It has become hard to remember a time when truculence wasn’t the surest route to political power, and when policies weren’t simply dismissed as “partisan” before being thrown away.
I don’t expect the current divisive mind-set in Washington DC to change anytime soon.Tags: Barack Obama, cartoons, US politics
Mr Key will today have private meetings with representatives from Ireland, Sweden and Luxembourg – but even a Prime Minister needs to let off some steam.
ONE News Europe correspondent Jessica Mutch snapped the PM mid-snowfight with his chief of staff, Wayne Eagleson.
I’m sure that isn’t in the job description!
NewstalkZB reports that it is not all snowball fights:
John Key is in demand at the World Economic Forum in Davos.
He’s attending the annual gathering in Switzerland for the first time.
One News reporter Jessica Mutch told Newstalk ZB’s Mike Hosking Mr Key is a man in demand in Davos.
“He has been a target, or a little bit of a superstar at this conference, just because of how well our economy is doing at the moment. He has been asked to speak, particularly about our connection with Asia.”
I’m so pleased we didn’t throw it all away to have a Labour-Green-NZ First-Mana-Internet Government.Tags: John Key, Wayne Eagleson
There have been two topics this week that have kept the US cartoonists occupied. One is terrorism and those Charlie Hebdo cartoons. The other has been the US 2016 presidential election. With Mitt Romney making noises again about standing for the third time he has been on the receiving end more than once.
The first cartoon shows Romney as a Chameleon.
© Matt Wuerker: Found at Politico.com
The second by Lisa Benson has the GOP and Democrats playing cards.
© Lisa Benson: found at RealClearPolitics
Both Romney and Clinton have the same problem which is they have been around for a long time so no matter what they’ve achieved they’re both big targets when opponents indulge in the inevitable negative campaigning. Kerry in 2004, McCain 2008 and Romney in 2012 all suffered from this problem.
Neither should be discounted though as both could be formidable. Hillary may not have a lot of competition in the Democratic primaries which would mean she won’t put under too much pressure prior to the general election which may also reveal she isn’t ‘match fit’ when the actual campaign arrives in 2016. As for Romney, he had his chance in 2012 and couldn’t get the job done so his time may have past.
My guess is that the GOP will go for a candidate who has experience at Gubernatorial level and who hasn’t been around forever like both Hillary and Mitt.Tags: cartoons, US politics
With the tragic slaughter at Charlie Hebdo cartoonists worldwide have been very active in supporting their fallen comrades. The are many to choose from but I’ve chosen two that give a different perspective.
The first is somewhat aspirational and is by Kevin Siers which juxtaposes the famous Eugene Delacroix 1830 painting ‘Liberty Leading the People’ with this weeks events. Here is the Delacroix original.
© Kevin Siers – Found at cagle.com
The second cartoon is about PC attitudes and radical Islam.
© Michael Ramirez – found at Investors.com
My take on this cartoon is that Ramirez is arguing that PC attitudes in the west are being used by terrorists as tool to serve their own ends. I have no doubt this is the case.
There are a lot more cartoons on this topic, many can be found here at Cagle Post.Tags: cartoons, Charlie Hebdo, terrorism
The US cartoonists have been particularly active over the holiday break so I’ve selected three cartoons.
The first makes fun of GOP leader Steve Scalise for allegedly giving a speech to a KKK audience in 2002. He claims he didn’t know. NB: toga party = costume party.
© Mike Luckovich – Found at Real Clear Politics
The second cartoon has Obama assessing the odds of Gitmo prisoners being a threat upon release.
© Michael Ramirez – Found at Real Clear Politics
Finally it wasn’t the Americans who busted the North Korean internet a couple of weeks ago…..
© Gary Varvel – Found at Real Clear Politics
[UPDATE]: Added the word ‘allegedly’ to the line above the first cartoon.Tags: cartoons
Most of the US cartoons this past week have been about either the normalizing of relations with Cuba or the Sony/North Korea spat. So I chose the possible Hillary Clinton vs Jeb Bush contest in 2016. Both cartoons speak for themselves without any explanation.
The first is by Steve Sack of the Minneapolis Star Tribune.
© Steve Sack: found at PoliticalCartoons.com
The second cartoon is by Dave Granlund
© Dave Granlund: found at PoliticalCartoons.com
I’m far from convinced either Hillary or Jeb would make a good POTUS. Two peas from the same pod.Tags: Hillary Clinton, Jeb Bush, US politics
This cartoon by Gary Varvel in my opinion perfectly sums up the Sony Pictures Entertainment board of directors.
© Gary Varvel – found at Real Clear Politics
Barack Obama today spoke about the decision by Sony Pictures.
“We cannot have a society in which some dictator someplace can start imposing censorship here in the United States. Because if somebody is able to intimidate folks out of releasing a satirical movie, imagine what they start doing when they see a documentary that they don’t like or news reports that they don’t like,” he said.
The President is a 100% correct.Tags: Gary Varvel, Sony Pictures
As usual two cartoons lampooning both sides of the political divide in USA politics.
The first makes fun of John Boehner and compares him to Moses!
© Gary Varvel – Found at Real Clear Politics
The second refers to the cover of the 23rd October edition of Rolling Stone magazine and also this extremely glowing appraisal of President Obama by Paul Krugman.
© Michael Ramirez – Found at Real Clear PoliticsTags: Barack Obama, cartoons, John Boehner
Two this week, one making fun of each side of the political spectrum.
The first one questions the sanity of those in the GOP who want to shutdown the US federal government again.
© Andy Marlette, found at Real Clear Politics
The second is about the huge increase in public debt since 2008 featuring an oblivious Barack Obama.
© Gary Varvel, found at Real Clear PoliticsTags: cartoons, US politics
Review: What We Do in the Shadows (2014).
~ by John Stringer.
2014’s What We Do In The Shadows written by and starring Taika Waititi (Boy) and Jemaine Clement (Fot Conchords) is a short black comedy about a group of vampires flatting together in Wellington, New Zealand.
- Viago, a dandy Victorian vamp. (Waititi);
- Vladislav, a Roumanian vamp. (Clement);
- Deacon an eastern European vamp. (Jonathan Brugh) who knits and whose excellent gypsy-cum-Indian folk dance prefaces the movie’s opening template (hilarious); and
- Petyras the 800-year-old Nosferatu vamp (Ben Fransham).
Together they rework the Flight of the Conchords wannabee-musicians-in-NY cycle but in NZ via a contemporary goth vamp romp. Also featuring is ‘Murray’ (Rhys Darby) as the alpha male pack leader of a group of counter-gang Westside Story werewolves (“not swear wolves!”).
It’s hilarious and there are some great lines in the film. “Leave me to do my dark bidding… on TradeMe–I’m bidding on a table” and jokes about age disparities, blood, werewolves, trying to get invited in to nightclubs, the police coming by to check on fire alarms and whether they’re installed correctly, etc.
The essence of the film is that now hallmark New Zealand (Napoleon Dynamite) ordinariness juxtaposed with the ludicrousness of historic vampires adjusting to mundane life flatting in Wellington (“Stu’s in to computers and stuff”). There are flat meetings (“Do your bloody dishes!”), chore rosters (“I dragged a body down the hall, so in a way, I swept the dust up“) and farcical attempts to attract ‘wictims’ to their flat. I laughed a lot.
One of the downsides of being a vampire, is you cannot eat chips. One chip, and a rookie vamp. suffers projectile blood vomiting of Peter Jackson Brain Dead proportions. It’s also difficult on relationships to eat friends, the main one of whom is appropriately called “Stu.” Stu helps the vampires catch up with technology; they can watch sunsets on-line, and send txt messages, and most importantly, Google virgins.
It is maladjusted immigrants and geeks adjusting to Nu Ziland but remaining true to themselves and having lifestyle issues, filmed as a reality TV documentary; The Osbornes meets Blair Witch and Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I liked the “Unholy Masquerade Ball” organised by the Karori Zombie Association, Wellington Vampire Society and Upper Hutt Werewolves Group which has a showdown when the flatmates bring Stu, a human, to the undead ball (ie vestiges of Cinderella). There is also a great “vampire fight!” as two vamp.s flit in and out of bat and human mode.
Lots of visual puns over vampire reflections in mirrors; virgin jokes; “bisketti and spaghetti;” stakes and crucifixes; and several workings of the vampire powers of hypnotism (stronger and weaker in various vamps) “No, the electriceety bill is p-a-i-d. …No, you will not cut off the telephone, we-paaaid-the-bill!”
I got the joke after a minute (but kept laughing all the way) but this would perhaps have been better as a more compressed one hour TV programme (47 minutes with ads) rather than a full length film. It also lacked a central narrative and would have been richer if there was a stronger story woven through, perhaps a romantic narrative or a quandary. Otherwise it’s just an episodic extended joke.
I did like the editing cutaways to magazines and historical books early on, which cleverly conveys the historical backstory in a quick run. The music is perfect and the actors are all great; Jonathan Brugh and Clement especially turn in talented performances. But my favourite vamp was actually Petyr, who never speaks.
The title is clumsy, why not just Wellington Vamps or Capital Blood? Sometimes the setups for the jokes are a bit laboured. I would have also omitted the dvd Extras as they diminish the finished product. As a more edit-compressed faster TV one hour, this would have become a cult classic. But as a film, it’s just too stretched, but nevertheless a hilarious Saturday night TV watchwith popcorn. 6/10.
Here’s the trailer.
Tags: John Stringer, Movie Review
A very funny guide to NZ by John Clarke:
Before the British, the Maori people arrived from Hawaii in the year 1273, at about quarter past 4 in the afternoon. There were allegedly people here before that, called the Moriori, and there may have been people even before that. Harry Armitage has been a stock agent up around Raetihi for at least that long and he tells me his father had the pub at Te Karaka.
Like most of the world’s major democracies, New Zealand is run by international capital and a few local big-shots who tickle the till and produce a set of annual accounts in a full range of colours. There is a national parliament in Wellington, which looks like the hats in the Devo clip ‘Whip It’, although very little of any importance has ever occurred there. The country works a lot better during the weekends than it does during the week, there are no states and the senate voted itself out of existence after the Second World War. When the Lower House eventually follows their excellent example, constitutional experts agree the next step will be beers all round.
In 1893, women in New Zealand were the first in the world to get the vote and in more recent times women have had a run as Prime Minister, Opposition Leader, Chief Justice and Governor General. Even the Queen is a woman. The country’s most famous pop singer, best known opera star, most famous short story writer, greatest novelist and most consistent world champion athlete are all women. They’re not allowed in the All Blacks as yet, but don’t be fooled. It’s just a matter of time. New Zealand women are stroppy, imaginative and a major strength in both the Maori and Pakeha cultures. In some New Zealand families, women are practically running things.
During the 1970s, New Zealand was confronted by very serious economic and political crises, although according to police records, there’s some suspicion these were both inside jobs. During that period New Zealand rugby administrators were ex-forwards who looked like spuds in their jackets and when they announced that they were sending an All Black team on a tour to South Africa, there were suggestions it might be time to go and get some new spuds, and maybe some who’d played in the backs. At this stage Nelson Mandela had served about ten of his twenty-seven years in prison and the rest of the world took the radical left-wing position that democracy might be worth a try in the region. New Zealand Prime Minister Norman Kirk went to see the Rugby Union.
‘I’m the Prime Minister’ he explained.
‘Is that right?’ said the spuds. ‘Take a number’.
‘We’d rather you didn’t go to South Africa’ said Norman. ‘It will look like an endorsement of the white supremacist policies of the South African government, to which we are opposed’.
‘So what?’ said the spuds. (I’m summarising a bit here, obviously).
‘So it’s not going to happen’, explained Norman.
The spuds were furious. They saw this action by the government as a direct threat to the way the country was run, and after a smaller Prime Minister had been elected in 1975, the tour went ahead.
There’s more in this vein.Tags: John Clarke
In the interests of being bi-partisan there is one that makes fun of Obama, the other the GOP.
Obama’s immigration policy and its legality under the US constitution.
Nick Anderson (Houston Chronicle)
This one makes fun of the GOP’s chronic indecision.
Michael Ramirez (Investors.com)
Cartoons were found here at Real Clear Politics.
Tags: US politics