Enjoy this video of a motorist taking to a parking meter with a chainsaw!

Prime Minister John Key’s signing of Emily Beaumont’s bulging belly in Nelson yesterday was symbolic on a day it was announced the country is now in a “man drought”.

Mr Key made a flying visit to Tahunanui Beach to help launch the election campaign of his sixth-ranked Cabinet minister, Nelson MP Nick Smith.

In response to yesterday’s story in the Sunday Star Times, which said there were now 50,000 “excess” 25- to 49-year-old females living in New Zealand , Mr Key assured that “we’re doing everything we can to keep people in New Zealand and we’ll now have a specific focus on men”.

Along with his signature on Ms Beaumont’s belly, Mr Key left what he termed a marketing message.

“If it’s a boy, John’s a good name,” Mr Key wrote on the most radical thing he had ever signed.

Ms Beaumont, of Motueka, who was “due to give birth any minute”, said she would probably name her baby John if it was a boy.

Now what interested me was that the belly already had a couple of marks on it. I got a copy of the higher res version and it is below.

The other marks are actually advertisements. One even has a URL!

I wonder if this method of advertising will catch on!

A Swedish man who was arrested after trying to split atoms in his kitchen said Wednesday he was only doing it as a hobby.

Richard Handl told The Associated Press that he had the radioactive elements radium, americium and uranium in his apartment in southern Sweden when police showed up and arrested him on charges of unauthorized possession of nuclear material.

The 31-year-old Handl said he had tried for months to set up a nuclear reactor at home and kept a blog about his experiments, describing how he created a small meltdown on his stove.

Only later did he realize it might not be legal and sent a question to Sweden’s Radiation Authority, which answered by sending the police.

May have been wiser to check before you start, whether it is legal to build your own nuclear reactor at home.

Samuel L. Jackson reading out the book. Perfect.

Please note that I don’t endorse people kicking Trevor Mallard in real life, and I certainly don’t endorse anyone making Pete Hodgson dance in real life.

Just got e-mailed this clip by a friend. All I can say is that dangerous weapons like that should be licensed

The show appears to be Germany’s Got Talent. What I love most of all is the looks of shock on the judge’s faces.

Stuff reports:

Indian model Poonam Pandey is not the first and probably won’t be the last in vowing to strip naked if her country wins a major sports event.

Her promise to strip naked if India wins the cricket World Cup is similar to that of Paraguyan model Larissa Riquelme at last year’s football World Cup.

Riquelme chose to follow through with her promise even though Paraguay didn’t win the World Cup. …

British newspaper website, Metro.co.uk, quoted Pandey as saying: “I’m confident of my body and I’m doing this to excite our boys to play better.”

Will Sri Lanka match this incentive?

Those who have played Angry Birds will like this video. I especially like the giant eagle at the end.

1) It’s really wrong. In the best way — at least, if you like movies that go way too far and then just keep going, you’ll like this. It has insane ultra-violence, plus some pretty intense sex and general weirdness. James Gunn, the psychopath who brought us Slither, has managed to mash up religion, ultraviolence, fetishism, and a slew of social anxieties into one horribly disturbing package. There are some moments in this film that’ll stick in your mind for quite some time afterwards.

2) It’s scream-out-loud funny. Especially every time Nathan Fillion comes on screen as the Christian superhero, the Holy Avenger, you’ll fall out of your seat. There will be Holy Avenger T-shirts everywhere in a couple months, if not sooner. But also, Rainn Wilson is pretty freaking on top of his game as a well-meaning nutcase who really believes that whacking people in the head with a lug wrench will make the world a better place.

The movie is “Super”. I can’t wait.

Pay day is great but neighbourly love gets short shrift from Wellington’s bright young things.

A Colmar Brunton survey of 500 New Zealand 20-somethings has found pay day and pay rises are the things they love the most – even more than sex.

Really?

What is wrong with young people today

Heh, that is rather unfortunate placement of stalls and signs.

There will be foot combats, seige engines, jousting and archery. Should be a fun day – especially if you have kids.

There’s also a competition for best costume.

South Africa’s governing party has pronounced: eating sushi off the body of a model in a bikini is politically incorrect.

A statement from African National Congress secretary general Gwede Mantashe on Monday is unequivocal: “This act is anti-ANC and anti-revolutionary. This act is defamatory, insensitive and undermining of woman’s integrity.”

The fish-on-flesh question has raged in South African media in recent months following reports of the practice at parties of wealthy businessmen and socialites. Earlier Monday, Johannesburg newspapers reported the head of the ANC’s powerful youth league had attended such a party over the weekend.

How nice of the ANC to decie this matter. I wonder if it becomes acceptable if it is sashimi instead?

A Christchurch doctor had to treat a woman after she was partially paralysed by a lovebite from her amorous partner.

Dr Teddy Wu, who is currently working in the neurology department at Christchurch Hospital, said he believed it was the first time someone had been hospitalised by a “hickey”.

An article on the case has appeared in the New Zealand Medical Journal.

Wu said he saw the woman over a year ago while he was working in Middlemore Hospital in Auckland.

The 44-year-old Maori woman went to the emergency department after experiencing loss of movement in her left arm.

It happened while she was sitting watching television.

The only injury was a lovebite on the right of her neck near an artery.

I just hope this doesn’t mean there will be a public health campaign warning against the dangers off hickeys!

A bizarre decision to ride an inflatable doll down a flood-swollen Yarra River blew up in a woman’s face yesterday when she lost her latex playmate in a rough patch.

The incident prompted a warning from police that blow-up sex toys are “not recognised flotation devices”.

Police and a State Emergency Services crew were called to the rescue when the woman and a man, both 19, struck trouble at Warrandyte North about 4.30pm yesterday.

They were floating down the river on two inflatable dolls and had just passed the Pound Bend Tunnel when the woman lost her toy in turbulent water.

Now that would make a great You Tube video.

I know of the odd flat which has a sex doll (invariably students), but having two sex dolls is rare – perhaps they went out and purchased them just for the floods?

Nude women’s rugby players draw a crowd

Who would have guessed?

The Old Boys University women’s rugby team have put together a nude calendar as a fund-raiser. They are on Trade Me.

What a great neighbour!

Police in western New York said two Canadian men attended a church festival and wound up in the woods drunk, naked and covered in mud.

I’m fascinated by what church has festivals like that. Not the Mormons I guess.

This is the Royal NZ Ballet as you may not have seen them before – Lady Gaga style with gaffer tape only.

Hat Tip: Stuff