This post contains details of what is rumoured to happen in next week’s Episode 10, so do not read if you want that a surprise.
The Washington Post assigns characters:
- Donald Trump: Robert Baratheon
- Hillary Clinton: Cersei Lannister
- Bernie Sanders: Ellaria Sand
- Ted Cruz: Tyrion Lannister
- Jeb Bush: Stannis Baratheon
- Marco Rubio: Renly Baratheon
- John Kasich: Rickon Stark
- Martin O’Malley: Ned Stark
- Carly Fiorina: Margaery Tyrell
- Ben Carson: Gregor Clegane
- Mike Huckabee: The High Sparrow
- Chris Christie: Jorah Mormont
- Rand Paul: Khal Drogo
- Rick Perry: Robb Stark
- Lindsey Graham: Davos Seaworth
- Scott Walker: Jon Arryn
Some of them surprise but their reasoning is pretty sound.
By John Stringer
6:2. So this week we waited to learn if Jon Snow was really dead…and waited to see if he was really alive. The Red Witch (star of the final scene of 6:1 – no spoiler; go watch that) tries to revive his very dead corpse but failed. But watch the Dire Wolf’s eyes under the table. Red Witch is disillusioned; her gods have failed her with false visions (or have they?) “F**K em all then!” (Lord Davos).
Review: GoT 6:2 (The Dwarf gets his dragon-on) | coNZervative
[Actually the ‘wet nurse’ is Lord Bolton’s wife and Ramsay’s step-mum (Ramsay is really a ‘Snow’); but this seems unlikely in the episode: Bolton simply chose this woman as her father offered a dowry of her weight in gold – so Lord Bolton took her: she seems like the baby’s wet nurse to me in this episode].
[Spoiler] Meanwhile in the Iron Islands another father and House lord is despatched in this game of epic musical thrones. Balon Greyjoy as the Lord of House Greyjoy of Pyke – not to be confused with Lord Walder Frey who is Lord of the Crossing and mastermined the infamous Red Wedding (referred to in Obama’s White House Correspondent’s dinner) they both have long straggly white hair – goes out on a swing bridge in a storm. That can mean only one thing in GoT!
Funnily enough I was watching an episode of MythBusters just before in which Jamie (not Lannister) and the beret Walrus build a 100 foot long rope bridge out of duct tape and attempt to cross it.
Balon walks out on to the rope bridge in the rain and dark only to meet his brother and a show down. Without a spoiler let’s just say the rightful heir Theon (‘Reek’) Greyjoy now has some room to move and a kingdom to inherit and sort out (now there is some vengeance that could sort the psycho Ramsay!) Who else? That showdown is VERY personal. This may help kinda (flowcharts are necessary when watching GoT)…
Review: GoT 6:2 (The Dwarf gets his dragon-on) | coNZervative
Tyrion sets them free so they can fly out and ‘forage’ (ie burn up insignificant rural hamlets like Bulls and eat their BBq-ed people and -well- bulls). In doing so Tyrion is now ‘Friend of the dragons’ and maybe setting himself up as a consort to Daenrys? OR are we seeing a transfer of power from Daenrys to Tyrion and Daenrys will end up Dothraki horse-shag? Interesting. You read it here first! You can never underestimate the Dwarf!
The Wildings take the Wall back. (“The Wildings” as flogged from Tolkien’s Dunlendings or Wildmen of Dunland also wrapped in fur skins as the Dothraki are pinched as the Roharrim but with a cross-breeding of Southron Haradrim). It’s not epic-fantasy without generous helpings of Prof Tolk.) There’s a great scene where a BlackWatchman shoots one of the Frost Giants in the neck with a crossbow bolt and gets “splatched” against a concrete bulwark and tossed across the snow leaving a crimson ribbon like the line of a red marker.
There’s another similar scene where Cersei’s Giant Knight bashes the head of a disrespectful village man against a brick wall while he’s relieving himself: quick efficient and bloody and a taste of the efficient desptaching of all Cersei’s enemies by this hulking Hulk Hogan in armour known as “The Mountain.”
I’ve always found the men of the Black Watch a bunch of wimps so an all round massacre by the bearded WWF Norseman in pelts would not be remiss. But effectively they are now a combined fighting host of the North and can meet the hordes of Dothraki migrating West; under Jon Snow if he ever resurrects perhaps joinde by House Stark and Theon Greyjoy etc.
Arya Stark is accepted as Girl with No Name among the Faceless Gods Helter Skelter cult but I’m sure is still Arya Stark inside (maybe she’ll even find Needle again and do some more family dynasty utu-ing). Speaking of which two Kiwis star in this series: Keisha Castle-Hughes in Dorne and Joe Naufaahu (runs an Auckland gym) amongst the Dothraki. Once Were Warriors!
Some backstory to Hodor arrives via a vision of the past while Bran Stark and Co (kind of Hobbits on a walk about) are wrapped in to that weird memory tree. Tree huggers with the Three-eyed Raven played by the famous Max von Sydow (who usually plays a WWII German General). This is cool; a kind of future and past wandering Internet service where they can see the past and future and make decisions for the present. Bran played by Issac H-Wright has had an adolescent growth spurt and is now a young man; he was a small child in Season 5. Bran is still crippled but how will Hodor carry him about on his back now? Might look a bit gay (the actor who plays Hodor actually announced he was gay; who cares?). When Bran is eventually united with Sansa and Arya Stark (a holy Trinity?) as the House Stark they’ll be like super-powered X-Men or Mighty Morphing Power Rangers.
Cersei Lannister is recovering from her Walk of Shame and Inquisition but faces down the Red Keep guard with her Giant house gimp with the bruised face (who is this person? Is it the Hound returned?). Cersei is reconciled to her soft insignificant ‘king’ son the ring-in Joffrey Baratheon/Lannister II (I can’t even remember his name. He’s like some guy from Spot On). But the script appears to set him and Cersei Lannister up as a despicable Mum + Son vengeance troupe ala Alexander the Great and Olympias or Nero and Agrippina-the-Younger.
Episode 6:2 pretty much a forward development of all the story strands: but the end of two lines: 1) House Bolton (Father and second heir first-born after dastardly deeds done dirt cheap by the bastard Ramsay) and 2) the brother-cide of Balon Greyjoy setting up a murderous uncle for ‘Reek’ to go and sort out (to Sansa Stark – “Can I borrow one of the horses?“).
So House Bolton destroys Stennis Baratheon’s pretensions (and his army) only to disintegrate internally via Court regicide? Awesome! Go the Bastards!
Prediction: Theon will obviously return to the Iron Islands; unite that empire with Winterfell and the other people of the North around Jon Snow and House Stark for the epic showdown with Daenerys and Tyrion et al that – like Winter – you can tell is coming! With bells on – or maybe fox pelts.
By John Stringer https://conzervative.wordpress.com
6:1. Well we did find out that Jon Snow IS REALLY DEAD so that is the demise of a major core character although I still predict he will be “resurrected” as an ice hoard zombie.
Review: Season 6:1 Game of Thrones | coNZervative
The big surprise in 6:1 [SPOILER} is that the sexy red witch is REALLY a wizened ancient old crone witch (icky she’s been having magic sex with all and sundry but is obviously under a doppelgänger spell “Look I’m young and perky-breasted!“). That was very cool. Loved her lumpy back bone spine pushing through pasty white skin: this is a great plot-line twist to the story so far. She backed the wrong royal horse in Stannis Baratheon who is now meat on the snows of the North!
I like that His Annoying Arrogant Wannabee Regicide Stannis Baratheon is dead and his army massacred in the snow by the Boltons of the North (House Bolton of the Dreadfort the ruling house of the North whose banner is a flayed man crucified upside down on a cross after Roose Bolton’s quip “In my family we say: A naked man has few secrets; a flayed man, none.” Charming. (K GoT not for the faint-hearted).
There are so many characters in this epic that it is good to excise a few and with Stannis gone well that really cuts out the Baratheon pretenders to the throne as a family line (the Stag’s Head sigil?) And who better than to end his sorry ‘royal’ days rather royally than [SPOILER} Brienne of Tarth! Excellent. Her knightly execution of Stannis Baratheon was appropriate (but note: we did not ACTUALLY see her blade sever his nasty Pretenders head – so like so many – is he REALLY despatched?)
Meanwhile in ‘Persian Ottoman’ Dorne: “weak men will no longer rule Dawn!” meaning not “weak” but “men” and this is set to become a realm of treacherous plotting Amazonians (cue GoT skimpy attire and more lesbian love scenes – which we could all do without thanks) resplendent with Keisha Castle-Hugh’s sisters and their phallic warrior weapons (with lots of B&D leather to keep that community transfixed).
The gut-wrenching pathos and full frontal male and female nudity of Queen Cirsei Lanister’s “Walk of Shame” (S5) with that tolling nun bell was great if a not too gratuitous for TV. But now with the murder of her ‘nice’ daughter by the harpies of Dorne (fathered by incest with her twin brother) and the introduction of her 8-foot high Gimp with the swollen bruised face (like something out of Mordor) is Circe set to become an embittered betrayed raging Fury? I think thee so! A great counterpart to Daenrys Targarean. Girl Fight!
But this may be a twist to unite the Dothraki again with her Eastern slave cities and the Dragons to take on everyone else for the Iron Throne. Fire v Ice.
It also creates space for Tyrion Lannister (“who always pays his debts”) and one of my favourite Machiavellian characters the bad and ball-less Varys to take over and govern Daenery’s abandoned latest city on her behalf. At last a ‘crown’ for Tyrion.
The Men of the Nights Watch? Meh. Bunch of manly wimps dressed in furs who are much better in the books and a bit undercooked in the TV series. But hopefully they will unite with The Wildings (now on their side of the wall thanks to the ‘traitor’ Jon Snow) with their cool Snow Giants and fight the White Walkers as the latter give them the “Winter Is Coming” cold shoulder.
Prediction: Jon Snow will unite the Walkers’ Ice Zombie army of Undead with The Wildings and the Nights Watch and House Bolton against Targarean.
The revival of House Stark from near oblivion is a great story arch and a central vein in GoT. Nice to see ‘Reek’ (Theon Greyjoy) redeemed and paired with cuzzy Sansa Stark and Brienne of Tarth. The convergence of the three Stark children together (and is Tyrion really a Lannister or a Stark? What was Sean Bean really up to all those cold nights at Kings Landing as the Kings Hand?) is an inevitable and obvious plot path – but is anything ‘envitable’ in GoT?
Oh and we’re all awaiting the terrible and gruesome death of that really really nasty psycho Ramsay. He’s even worse than Joffrey Lannister so Ramsay’s demise is an anticipation probably coming sometime season 6 we would all hope. he has to kill dad first though. Like Tyrion did. If there is incest we need some paricide too!
Prediction: Watch for the three Stark children to be re-united with Jon Snow (now dead) and Tyrion; to revive House Stark perhaps with The Wildings and the Men of the Night Watch and the White Walkers in an epic confrontation between Deanerys Taragraen’s dragons and fire empires plus the Dothraki in an almighty Tolkien-esque Battle of the Pelennor Fields.
Prediction2: Will the love sicj knight errant XYZ gradually turning in to a Stone Man touch daenerys and turn her to stone like those extinct Dragon fossils beneath the crypts of King’s Landing? I think so
It’s great: I can’t get enough
Below right: Cousins Sansa Stark and Theon Greyjoy (‘Reek’) of Winterfell and the Iron Halls- two branches of the family House Stark re-united (the execution of Sean Bean as Lord Stark season 1 has still not been avenged; or the massacre of his entire family at the treacherous Red Wedding). I’m rather glad to see ‘Reek’ redeemed; that story arch was pretty ugly and dark (the torture scenes and the psycho mind games reducing a human being to a humiliated shell of humanity – ick: GoT really pushes the envelope). Almost too much.
Probably got lots wrong (it’s so complex and myriad-epic) so jump in with corrections and your own predictions.
GAME OF THRONES SEASON FINALE SPOILERS. DO NOT READ IF YET TO VIEW TODAY’S FINALE.
SPOILER ALERT FOR GAMES OF THRONES.
Only read this if you have read the books.
The new season of Game of Thrones will screen in this country at exactly the same time as it does in the United States and in many other countries around the world.
That means the first episode of season five will be on Sky TV channel SoHo at 1pm on Monday, April 13, Sky head of publicity Lisa Franklin said in a statement.
I will be busy every Monday afternoon from 1 pm to 2 pm.
As well as the early-afternoon screenings, SoHo will repeat each episode in New Zealand at 8.30pm the same day.
Great move by Sky to show it simultaneously. People don’t want to wait half a day during which they read reviews.
Game of Thrones maker HBO said simultaneous screenings would take place in 170 countries and territories.
Good on HBO for also making the access rights available.
Games of Thrones fans will love this picture.
Mother Jones says:
In HBO’s hit show Game of Thrones, there are dragons, sword fights, and zombie armies. But the heart of the show is intense political intrigue. Alliances are forged and broken; backroom deals are cut; principles are sacrificed. It’s a dirty game. Yet imagine how much more unsavory it would be if super-PACs and dark-money outfits existed in the Seven Kingdoms. We did—and here are the results.
Here’s two of their ads:
Heh, both excellent. I love Game of Thrones.