Just Good Friends
Joanna Hunkin, the NZ Herald’s Blonde at the Bar, blogs on the issue of can men and women just be good friends, and she of course has the obligatory reference to When Harry met Sally.
Hunkin says she used to think one could, but no longer is so sure.
I have a couple of thoughts on the issue.
The first is that most guys like sex a hell of a lot, and while they may not particularly want to have sex with most of the girls they know, they are hardly likely to violently resist if an attractive friend starts pashing them at a party (assuming they are both single). The chance of their brain saying “no, no think of the friendship” being able to overcome something else saying “yes, yes, more, more” is very low. Us men are weak willed creatures.
But despite the above, that doesn’t mean one can’t have great friendships with the opposite sex, where nothing ever happens. I would have 12 – 15 female friends who I go out with occasionally, sometimes do dinner/movies with, and just enjoy spending time with. Only one of them is someone I actually think a relationship with would be a good idea. One can find a girl/woman physically attractive but not want to actually go out with them.
So yeah in my view men and women can just be friends. It’s actually pretty damn easy.
June 18th, 2007 at 3:22 pm
“I would have 12 – 15 female friends who I go out with occasionally, sometimes do dinner/movies with, and just enjoy spending time with. Only one of them is someone I actually think a relationship with would be a good idea.”
That’s 12-15 of DPF’s female friends all a little nervous now…
June 18th, 2007 at 3:28 pm
What kind of a name is Hunkin? Shouldn’t it be Hunkette?
June 18th, 2007 at 3:52 pm
DPF said “The first is that most guys like sex a hell of a lot”
And you know it’s a weird thing DPF: Most girls like sex a hell of a lot too.
Ain’t that just a lucky coincidence.
June 18th, 2007 at 4:32 pm
“That’s 12-15 of DPF’s female friends all a little nervous now…
”
Not to mention completely insulted.
June 18th, 2007 at 4:45 pm
they are hardly likely to violently resist if an attractive friend starts pashing them
The key word here is attractive. It’s hard to be just friends with someone of the opposite sex you’re attracted to. But if they’re ugly they can be a great friend.
June 18th, 2007 at 4:48 pm
To further the point, this explains why some ugly people have lots of friends but don’t get much sex, while some good-looking people have no friends but get lots of sex.
June 18th, 2007 at 5:04 pm
oops… excuse me while I lose the Eastwood persona.
June 18th, 2007 at 5:31 pm
What does “hooked up” mean?
June 18th, 2007 at 5:57 pm
Hooked up, as Joanna uses it, almost certainly means they have fucked each other
June 18th, 2007 at 6:08 pm
jman is absolutely correct. if she’s an fat ugly bitch you’re unlikely to want more than friendship. if she is a hot babe then there is only one way
June 18th, 2007 at 6:09 pm
David,
Ah, well in that case, Joanna is deluding herself into just calling him a friend. It’s almost like the whole article is an exercise in convincing herself that he’s only a friend when he is alot more.
June 18th, 2007 at 7:01 pm
or a lot less depending on the relative value one places on fuck buddies versus actual friends. Either way she’s deluding herself.
June 18th, 2007 at 7:21 pm
Yeah, I agree, kisekiman. It may be that her continual relationship with the guy is holding her back from finding someone. If she can’t see him as her long-term man, she ought to dump him.
June 18th, 2007 at 8:17 pm
so, that 12-15 number is single woman you are friends with, right? I just want to make sure I am not under any suspicion for anything untoward!
Who is ‘the one’?
June 18th, 2007 at 8:27 pm
Good post this, I’ve got and had a handful of female friends, mostly in-laws or wives of couples we (me and my wife) are friends with.
To be totally honest, I find one or two of these woman attractive but once you get together and start the chit-chat stuff those kind of thoughts are quickly erased.
Real friends with the opposite sex? Absolutely. If you’re married your best friend would likely be your wife anyway! Being single doesn’t make it difficult to be friends with women, only easier to fall into a relationship with a friend. Hey, it happens.
June 18th, 2007 at 8:46 pm
Jesus, this topic is so teh 2002.
June 18th, 2007 at 8:57 pm
I am looking for a male friend since I am lonely because of the man drought. Anyone out there who wants to be friend with me? DPF or dad4justice ?
June 18th, 2007 at 9:28 pm
Selma
why not Mr Hagar?
June 18th, 2007 at 10:59 pm
Ha Megs relax you are safe.
June 19th, 2007 at 4:24 pm
“wives of couples”
hmm – interesting
June 19th, 2007 at 5:00 pm
I think Insolent Prick has just put up his hand to write “Bloke at the Bar”.
http://insolentprick.blogspot.com/2007/06/just-good-friends.html
June 19th, 2007 at 6:22 pm
Would the Herald subsidise my bar tab?
June 19th, 2007 at 8:17 pm
Insolent Prick, are you really good looking as you claimed in your website? I am not convinced that you are since you don’t have a photo of yourself posted up there. What are you ashamed of? Uhm , Being ugly. Am I right? If you have a Tom Cruise look then post a photo on your site.
If you’re an ugly dude, then why don’t you chat me up at the bus stop, since I don’t get any attention at all from males in everywhere I go.
June 19th, 2007 at 11:00 pm
Selma,
Helengrad would hunt me down if they could identify me.