22 minutes

November 27th, 2010 at 2:16 pm by David Farrar

Amused to read in the Dom Post that has revealed more of his meeting with Russian President , sitting next to him at the dinner.

Medvedev told the PM it would take 15 minutes for a missile from Moscow to reach Washington DC. The PM couldn’t contain his curiousity and asked how long it would take to reach NZ.

Medvedev consulted the person standing behind him and replied “22 minutes, but I’ll ring you beforehand” :-)

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38 Responses to “22 minutes”

  1. Graeme Edgeler (3,281 comments) says:

    Why would they fire it from Moscow?

    :-)

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  2. thedavincimode (6,617 comments) says:

    So we’ve got time to turn the lights out.

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  3. Yvette (2,766 comments) says:

    I think the co-ordinates are entered before it is fired so turning out the lights aren’t going to help?

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  4. IHStewart (388 comments) says:

    Yeah but turning out the lights would make for much better views when it hit.

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  5. Magnanomis (138 comments) says:

    Have you ever wondered what would happen if a nuclear bomb goes off in your city?

    http://www.carloslabs.com/node/20

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  6. John Gibson (295 comments) says:

    Why waste a nuclear weapon on Auckland ? Surely Sydney / Melbourne would provide more bang for their rouble.

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  7. Pete George (23,434 comments) says:

    Why assume Auckland?

    It’s good to hear that they joke like normal people. As long as they keep joking….

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  8. John Gibson (295 comments) says:

    Pete George – maximum damage. 1.3 million crispy critters.

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  9. jims_whare (403 comments) says:

    Uh duh – John Key should know better than to ask that as due to our anti nuclear legislation the missile would splash into the ocean just outside our economic zone – shesh surely the Russian President would know this?

    I mean the US are so dumb spending all their billions on missile defense – all they need to do is pass anti nuclear legislation and the whole of the US would be safe………grrr how dumb are they?

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  10. grumpyoldhori (2,361 comments) says:

    What, why waste missiles on Washington DC and Wellington. they can be put to far better use on those sister chasing cantab types.
    I’m joking cantabs, honest

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  11. Komata (1,161 comments) says:

    JW

    And presumably Wussel will be there at the ‘border’ watching as it drops minto (sorry, into) the ocean – and be waving his (white?) flag in ‘celebration’.

    One can but hope, especially as the warheads DO detonate on contact – even with the sea. . .

    Of course, it WOULD give a totally new meaning to the phrase ‘Fried Greens’

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  12. tvb (4,325 comments) says:

    I understand the Russians removed their co-ordinates when we went nuclear free and shut out American warships. 22 minutes gives us enough time to say the lord’s prayer, by the time we are told they are coming. Interestingly there was a false alarm when Lange thought it was all over for us. But I guess the nuclear free legislation convinced the Russians to turn them back.

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  13. Yvette (2,766 comments) says:

    I am waiting for Johnboy’s little jem on this

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  14. Magnanomis (138 comments) says:

    I don’t think that Russian ICBM’s based near Moscow have the range to target NZ. We will be in range of mid-Pacific SLBM’s – and flight times will be a lot less than 22 mins. Just enough time for the greenies to soylent themselves.

    A Soviet era joke: What should you do in the event of a nuclear war? Don’t panic, just wrap yourself in a white sheet and walk slowly to the nearest cemetery. Why slowly? – so as not to cause panic.

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  15. reid (16,227 comments) says:

    “I understand the Russians removed their co-ordinates when we went nuclear free and shut out American warships.”

    Yes I understand that also tvb. Crikey isn’t our anti-nucular law-shield thingy just fucking amazing.

    At one stroke we eliminate the possibilty of nucular annhilation.

    Fucking hell.

    You’d think the rest of the world would have caught on by now, wouldn’t you…

    Just pass a law, people, just pass a law…

    Don’t they realise the penalties if/when they ever violate it? We’ll sue their asses off at the Hague. Fuck em. Hah. So there.

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  16. IHStewart (388 comments) says:

    Hell Magnanomis, they have to have a few subs left, but could we turn the lights out with only 4 minutes notice. Not counting on getting any great photos in this scenario

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  17. Johnboy (15,903 comments) says:

    Yvette. Pour vous. Écoute soigneusement je dirai ceci seulement une fois.

    I suggest that at 21min 59sec after launch we all deeply inhale just to piss off Saint David wherever he is. :)

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  18. Yvette (2,766 comments) says:

    Bonsoir à vous, Johnboy

    However I wonder, while nobody else seems to, although president Obama may be curious, but what would have been the question that John Key asked of President Dmitry Medvedev, that the answer was “We can take out Washington in 15 minutes”?

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  19. Johnboy (15,903 comments) says:

    Perhaps he is concerned that Washington will make public what he had to do for Hillary to become her friend Yvette? :)

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  20. Yvette (2,766 comments) says:

    Well, we may find that out just shortly with Wikileaks : )

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  21. andrei (2,547 comments) says:

    Царь-бомба

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  22. Johnboy (15,903 comments) says:

    Wikileaks are maybe less damaging than Willileaks.

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  23. Yvette (2,766 comments) says:

    There was the sign, SOCIAL CREDIT IS THE ANSWER !
    under which someone wrote IT MUST HAVE BEEN A BLOODY SILLY QUESTION.
    So I wonder still what John Key had asked the Russian President.

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  24. NX (504 comments) says:

    “Medvedev consulted the person standing behind him and replied “22 minutes, but I’ll ring you beforehand”

    Key’s reponse:

    “New Zealand’s retaliation will be swift & mercifulness. We’ll make Helen Clark the ambassador to Moscow.”

    Medvedev:

    “My god man, that is not a proportional response!”

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  25. adze (2,089 comments) says:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZMwKPmsbWE

    WTF Mate? ^^

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  26. noskire (837 comments) says:

    Hmm, this reminds me of a story that Russia once offered Jim Bolger one of their nuclear subs in lieu of overdue payments for butter.

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  27. Tauhei Notts (1,680 comments) says:

    I refuse to believe that intercontinental ballistic missiles are so damned fast. Let us not forget that N.Z. is a long way from anywhere, and even further from Vladisvostok. How fast would a missile have to go to get from Vladisvostok to Auckland in 22 minutes. I think the speed would have to be about ten times as fast as the barrell velocity of a .303 bullet.
    Twenty two minutes! My bullshit detectors have been placed upon alert.

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  28. side show bob (3,660 comments) says:

    22 minutes ?, Whats the bet the useless rusky bastards miss Dorkland completely. Probably land on some poor cockies cowshed, oh well at least they will get the milking off.

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  29. IHStewart (388 comments) says:

    Prime Minister Key has a total responsibility to inform me of my opportunity to photography a Russian attack and I need at least 22 minutes

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  30. Johnboy (15,903 comments) says:

    Tauhei.

    .303 about 2600 FPS muzzle velocity = 1773 mph

    Trident ICBM about 13400 mph.

    Time to hit target on other side of world approx 20 mins.

    Medvedev’s man knew his stuff.

    Maybe he was the Russkie equivalent of the Yanks “football” carrier.

    Vodka “bottle” carrier perhaps. :)

    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100325191228AAnMsJp

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  31. Magnanomis (138 comments) says:

    Consider the Topol (NATO codename SS-27 Sickle), Russia’s newest and first post-Soviet land based ICBM. It has a max range of approx 11, 000 km and travels at 7,320 m/s (about 24,000 feet per second) during the boost phase.

    However, Topols are only verifiably deployed in European Russia (either in silo’s or on mobile launchers). The direct flight path from launch areas to NZ exceeds 15,000 km.

    Topol’s CEP (circular error of probability) is reputed to be 200 m (ie, 50% of missiles are expected to ‘land’ within 200 m of the designated, programmed target.

    The Bulava, a new Russian SLBM, is based on the Topol, with a similar max range. However, it has failed several times during testing and has yet to enter service. The Russians are building new submarines for the Bulava and may convert some existing subs to take the Bulava. The Russians have older subs with older, mainly liquid fueled, SLBMS: this means they are more of a threat to the Russians than us.

    Meanwhile, the Chinese…..

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  32. MikeMan (169 comments) says:

    However the R36M2’s (SS-18 Satan Mod 5) based at Uzhur have a range in the region of 16,000km and it is less than 13,000km by direct route to Auckland and they deliver 10 MIRV’s in the 750KT range.

    Flight time is closer to 27 minutes though.

    Another option would be Pacific Fleet Delta III’s firing 9,000km range R-29RL missiles (SS-N-18) with single 450KT warheads. Flight time is closer to 20 mins at max range. The launch point would be about 500KM east of the Kamchatka Peninsula

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  33. Lee C (4,516 comments) says:

    Let’s hope he doesn;t try to warn us by internet, it would take about fifty minutes before the f88n mesage could be successfully downloaded.

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  34. Jimbob (641 comments) says:

    I don’t think the Ruskies will tell you exactly where their missiles are housed, could be anywhere . For the US they be close to China, so 22 minutes is not out of the question. For JK to ask they question shows how at ease he is with the power brokers of the World.

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  35. BlairM (2,314 comments) says:

    My understanding is that nuclear-armed US subs have hidden out in the Southwestern Fiords, which technically does not violate NZ’s nuclear free status. However, I am not sure what sort of range those subs have, or whether they could hit Russia from there.

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  36. Tauhei Notts (1,680 comments) says:

    johnboy,
    Thank you for your information. I did not know that inter continental ballistic missiles were so fast.
    21,565 kilometres per hour!

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  37. niggly (817 comments) says:

    Perhaps when JK was told it would only take 22 minutes, he should have responded “a-ha, good thing NZ is about to sign up to the US missile shield programme then” and watched Dmitry Medvedev’s expression change to a darker shade of red :-)

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